A/N: Happy New Year! And so we reach the beginning of the end...
"Are you behind this?!" Padme cried furiously, bursting into the room Anakin had been hiding away inside the past few days. Barriss had been the one to rat him out in the end, when she saw the raging tremble of her hands and heard what had happened back in the city. Ahsoka had just shaken her head and muttered something lost beneath her breath. Neither had looked very surprised.
"What are you talking about?" Anakin lifted his eyes from an old newspaper, looking at her with false apathy – as if he was completely unaffected by her sudden presence.
"Rush!" Padme bit hissed out, her voice shaking. "The Imperials burst into The Coruscant and they took him! Did you order it?"
"They did what?" He jolted upwards, shock and fury bursting onto his face. At once, she shut her eyes and ached in utter relief. One look at his face and she knew he didn't do it. Anakin's eyes told the truth even when his mouth did not. Part of the young woman felt terrible guilt at feeling so relieved but mostly she was glad of it… He didn't do it! Thank god! He wasn't behind this!
"Imperials took him," she said after opening her eyes again, "Obi-wan called to tell me, Anakin, I've never heard him so angry before."
The way he'd talked to her… the vile, raging threats… it wasn't like him. He was truly shaken with worry and it only made her heart clench tighter with anxiety for her friend.
Anakin's jaw tightened as he ground his teeth together, standing up from the narrow bed he'd been lounging on. "Padme," his voice was thick with uncertainty as he raced across the room and grasped her shoulders, "I had nothing to do with this, I promise you. I didn't give that order – you have to believe me! I – "
"I do," she nodded, "I believe you."
He blinked, shocked and searched her eyes carefully, as if this was a trick or a ruse. "You do?"
Maybe it was naive to trust him at his word after everything they'd put each other through, but the shock in his eyes left no room for mistakes. Her instincts called to believe him. She trusted them. Anakin knew nothing of Rush's abduction.
"Yes," she met his wide, blazing gaze and held it. "Anakin, what do you think they want with him? They aren't going to kill him, are they?"
"No," he said forcefully, releasing her shoulders. "I'll take care of it, I promise." Despite his words, Padme saw the blistering hate in his eyes for Rush. The loathing and resentment he felt about what happened between them. It was so vivid in the azure pools that it couldn't possibly be hidden – but she also saw him fight it. She watched as he swallowed down his feelings to do the right thing for once.
There was good in him, she was right all along.
"You're going back," it wasn't a question. Padme already knew the answer as she watched him snatch up his coat and pull it on.
"Something's going on back there, evidently. The sooner I make it back, the sooner this will all be resolved."
It would be so easy for him to just let whatever was happening to go on without him. He would be clean and free of whatever fate Rush faced. It had to be tempting, Padme understood that, after all, it couldn't be easy to craft a plan to save the life of the man she slept with and threw in his face but Anakin was trying. The man he was a year ago wouldn't be so quick to do so…
It's progress, something in her heart whispered. Not enough but wasn't it a start?
Padme exhaled softly and shut her eyes. How far they'd come together and apart. Once, after their argument, Anakin would have sped back to the city to cut Rush open the moment he found out what happened between them. Once, Padme would have run as far from him as she possibly could after his confessions. They were not those people anymore. They were harder now. Stronger. Firmer.
They were apart.
"I'm coming with you," she said. At this, Anakin tensed, turning to all too obviously tell her no but Padme met his hard, unflinching gaze with a determined one of her own. "I'm coming."
"You almost died – you're still recovering," he said with a shake of his head. "It's too dangerous."
"My doctor said that I'm ready to leave and even if I wasn't, I'm not staying here while Rush is in danger."
"If my Imperials are keeping him then he's safer than he would be in the streets or The Coruscant." Anakin shoved his guns into their holsters and tightened the leather strap around his thigh.
"How can you be sure?" She came closer, "What makes you think they won't hurt him? They took him without asking you, Anakin… You have no idea what's going on back there."
This touched a nerve, Padme saw it in the way he clenched his teeth and tore his eyes away from her. Maybe it was harsh but the question had to be asked… If the Imperials were working without their leader – had Anakin lost control of his Empire? Nothing could be sure until they got there.
"You're not coming," he forced the words past gritted teeth.
"I am coming."
"Padme!" Anakin snapped, his eyes torn between pleading and glaring as he whipped around to look at her again. "Come on! Why can't you stay here and be safe? Leave everything else to me."
"Because he's my friend! And I need to warn everyone – haven't Rex and the girls told you what's happening in the city? I have to tell them." The thought of her friends, Imperial and Rebels, absolutely inundated with beasts whose numbers grew beyond fighting terrified her. Everyone had to get out of the city while they still could.
"Rex told me," he nodded, "which is why you should stay here where it's safe."
"If you think that's going to happen, then you really don't know me at all."
Despite everything, a small, breathless laugh slipped out of Anakin's mouth and he shook his head at her. "You're right... I don't know who I was kidding," his eyes gleamed with the same utter adoration he'd always looked at her with, in the stolen moments of privacy they used to have and Padme's traitorous heart yearned for him terribly.
"Anakin," she moved forward to touch his arm softly, "I wanted to say… What happened the other day… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of those things and I regret it." The look of sheer agony on his face brought out by her words would live with her forever. She didn't like what anger did to her, to be so spiteful and hateful, it wasn't who she ever wanted to be. Never again.
"I'm sorry too," sadness dulled the usual brightness of his eyes, "for everything, Padme…"
Slowly, their arms came around each other and she shut her eyes as tightly close as she could manage without causing herself pain. Her heart wept as she felt Anakin's hand in her hair, his strong arms holding her so close… It would be so easy to give in, to throw her lips against his and let the past be the past…
But that would mean sacrificing her newfound freedom. Her hard-won independence.
She couldn't. They couldn't be together – things had changed too much to ignore. And after everything Anakin had said the other day, he also needed to build a life lived truly for himself. They both deserved it, even if their hearts broke in the process. It was the right choice, they just had to be strong enough to make it.
They parted as Rex stumbled into the room, smirking at the sight he came across. "You two finally kissed and made up then?"
"We're…" her mind scrambled for the right words, "friends again."
The New Zealander looked surprised as Anakin nodded in agreement.
"We're going back into the city," the Imperial leader grabbed at his friend's shoulder, "for some reason Imperials took Clovis without my orders. We're going to find out what the hell is going on and start getting people ready to leave. You should stay here with Ahsoka and Barriss. Try to find out more about these planes."
"Will do, boss," Rex nodded, obviously glad to be involved in any capacity. Something told her that Anakin only asked their burly friend to stay back to keep him safe and away from any action. His injuries were much, much worse than Padme's had been and he still leaned heavily on his crutch after months of rehabilitation. Of course, it was better to claim Rex would be of more use here than to tell the truth. She saw right through him.
After gathering what they needed, they said a quick goodbye to Rex, Ahsoka and Barriss and left.
Getting back into the city wasn't any easier than getting out of it, even in the car Anakin managed to find. The drive was long and the edge of the city was filled with nasty, scrambling beasts throwing themselves toward the car to claw them out. Padme drove – a little rusty after so long – while Anakin shot the monsters out of the window with deadly aim. At times, when the beasts grew too much, she kept one hand on the wheel and shot out her window with the other.
Closer to the city's edge, large, armoured military trucks growled and revved their engines in warnings, threatening to give chase if they went any further. She and Anakin shared a worried glance as she pushed the car to go faster, to get them in before the soldiers could stop them and somehow, thanks to the flurry of beasts distracting the people giving watch, they managed.
Something dark inside of her whispered that getting out was going to be far more difficult.
Soon, they were back in The Empire.
Anakin burst back into his kingdom like a raging storm, leaving nothing in his wake. The Imperial Leader was out for blood as he charged into the lobby area, glaring at everyone he passed.
Suddenly, it was like he never left the city. Imperials straightened up like children caught in the middle of mischief, as if they sensed their leader's displeasure. It was difficult to miss, the anger was etched across his face and dangerously clear in the darkening of his glare.
"Aphra!" He roared, eyes searching the dimly lit room for the former archaeologist. The other woman straightened up where she had been leaning against one of the booth's tables. Her white V-necked t-shirt was tucked into a pair of tight-fitting beige pants and a dark brown, leather holster wrapped across her waist. It was as casual as Padme had ever seen the woman.
People stepped aside to distance themselves from the Imperial second in command facing their leader's rage. A twinge of fear widened the woman's eyes as she glanced between Anakin and Padme before she forced a casual smile. "Nice to see you again," she nodded toward her before flicking her gaze back to Anakin. "You're back sooner than – "
There was no time for Aphra to finish her sentence before the Imperial leader's voice boomed across the lobby. "Twice, I've left you in charge around here only to have you fuck it up," Anakin sneered at his friend, chest heaving. "I thought you were better than this."
"Hey – hey…" Aphra frowned, "I did everything that you asked…"
"And more, from what I hear," he drifted closer to the other woman. "Clovis. Taking him was your idea, I take it?"
Padme watched the raven-haired woman carefully. From the expression on her face, she could already tell that Aphra knew exactly what Anakin was talking about. The former archaeologist swallowed and somehow found it in herself to smile, raising her hands as if to calm her leader down.
"Woah, woah, woah! Hey, I can explain! It's a good thing – you'll see!"
"Oh yeah?" Anakin raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to continue.
"Yes!" She nodded frantically, her eyes searching his. "We didn't just take him for no reason, that would be stupid. It's all part of a deal! It's Palpatine! He's dealing in weapons now – he made this amazing offer. You would have jumped at it if you'd been here."
Padme recognised the name immediately and her eyes widened. Palpatine – Rush's father. Anakin had dealings with the man in the past, that was what Rush said.
"Palpatine," he almost spit the name out, "You made a deal… with Palpatine?"
"Yes!" Aphra nodded, missing the murderous look in Anakin's eyes. "He sought us out! He promised weapons if we got him his boy back – more than we've ever had. And supplies! He said he'd keep us stocked up for years."
"Oh, he promised you," Anakin said, his tone mockingly sweet. "Well, that must mean he's telling the truth." His second in command made to speak but he silenced her by raising his hand before glaring at the other Imperials standing around. They practically cowered beneath his searing gaze. "And you all followed her orders on this?"
Kit was the only one brave enough to come forward, his long, dark dreadlocks for once loose and hanging beyond his shoulders. He greeted Padme with a tight smile, though his eyes were bright and relieved as they took her in. "She told us it was your order. Aphra, you said that Anakin sent word that he wanted it done!"
The other woman opened her mouth to speak but was silenced once more as Anakin spoke over her. "Where did you put him?"
Aphra clenched her jaw, refusing to answer as she fumed at the spectacle being made of her failure. Her gaze flickered to the revolving door of the basement, where the beasts were kept and bred. Padme followed her line of sight and felt her stomach drop. They were keeping Rush with the beasts! She moved to go free him at once but Dooku's booming voice stopped her as she reached the door.
"The boy isn't down there," he said calmly, entirely uninterested in the drama unfolding between the Imperial leader and his second in command. "He's not in the building."
"I'll see that for myself, thank you," she looked to Anakin who gave a small nod. Without thinking, she pushed on the spinning door and bolted down the stairs, stepping into the basement of The Empire before she lost her nerve. This was where the beast which scarred her back came from. This was where the Imperials kept their army of monsters… She wanted to turn around and run back to the safety of upstairs desperately, but if Rush was here then she had to find him.
For what had once been one of the most luxurious buildings in New York, the basement was dank, cold and grey. The ceiling was low and dripped from pipes she had no idea still worked. It was filthy – stains of blood and dirt blotched the walls and floor in patches and sprays. There was another room all the way at the back, the doorway was wide enough for the young woman to spot cages containing imprisoned beasts of various colours and sizes who rattled their metal walls furiously at the mere sight of her.
She shuddered as they screeched and howled and looked around the room for any sign of her friend. Against the back wall, there were two large cages, both taller than her, which lay side by side. The first lay empty and the second – she let out a horrified gasp the moment her eyes fell on it.
The monsters shrieked, their claws curling around the bars of their cages in desperation to get out and maul her. She paid them no mind as she rushed toward the tall, rusty prison.
Someone was in there but it wasn't Rush.
An unconscious woman laid beneath an old, tattered blanket.
She lay on her back, her long, black hair, smooth as silk created in a dark halo around her head, contrasting the paleness of the milky-white shoulders revealed by the rich, off-shoulder dress she wore. Her throat was lined by a thick round stoned, opal collar which dropped into a single hanging pearl above her bosom. She looks expensive, Padme thought as she approached, nobody looks like that anymore…
Why were the Imperials keeping a woman prisoner down here? How long had she been here? Padme fell to her knees next to the cage, trying to force the tinny door open and crying out angrily when it didn't give way. The woman didn't stir.
Footsteps thundered behind her suddenly, voices bickered and talked over each other as Anakin led some of the braver Imperials down after her. He rushed toward Padme but froze when his eyes fell upon the prisoner.
"What the hell has been going on here?" He yelled and yet again, she felt slack with relief to know he had no part of this. "Who is she?"
"She showed up here the day after you left," Kit said, "Palpatine wants her brought to him too."
At a glance from Anakin, Maul finally stepped forward and leaned past Padme to unlock the door of the cage. As soon as it swung open, she leaned inside to touch the woman's wrist. Thank god, she breathed out in relief, there's a pulse.
"She's some kind of crazy activist, I think," Aphra piped up, "she was babbling on and on about – "
"Shut up," Anakin growled without sparing a glance at his friend. His gaze remained on Kit. "Why does Palpatine want her?"
"He didn't say," the medical student shrugged.
"Anakin, she's freezing," Padme says, "we need to get her upstairs and warmed up."
He looked down to where the woman slept and nodded. "You two," he gestured to Maul and Kit, "take her upstairs and make her comfortable. We have all these damned rooms and you put a woman in a cage?" He sneered at Aphra, "What if one of the beasts got out? What if she froze down here?! What would have happened to your little deal then?"
"She… I just…" The other woman fumbled over her words to no avail.
The men picked up the woman carefully and Padme watched them carry her limp body up the stairs until they vanished from view. Once they were gone, he took a step forward and extended his hand to pull her back to her feet. She accepted the help gladly. All the movement today had irritated her stitches.
"I don't want to ask again. Where's Clovis?" He said quietly, his tone suffering no refusal.
With a long sigh, Dooku shook his head slowly, as if all this was somehow beneath him. "Tarkin and Krennic are guarding him. She put him under the old Yankee Stadium."
"Is he alright?" Padme's breathless question made the old man look at her, his pale eyes full of apathy.
"Nobody laid a finger on the boy," he said while folding his arms over his chest, his black shirt creasing with the movement. "They just took him and locked him away."
"Go," Anakin ordered, "Go get him and bring him back here. Now. Take whoever you need with you."
Padme watched as the older man turned and left without any hesitation, making his way up the stairs and through the door with a quiet woosh. As he left, Aphra scoffed and glared at Anakin with a fury she'd never seen the other woman direct any anyone other than herself.
And then, she laughed. Loud, bitter and angry, Aphra shook her head and ran her long fingers through her dark hair. "I don't understand… I don't get it! Why does it always have to be you?" She barked the words with such frustration underlining her tone that even Padme was taken aback. "Why do we always have to listen to you?" Her voice broke out into a dangerous roar. "All you ever do is chase her around!" Her hand gestured toward Padme even as her eyes remained focused on Anakin. "You don't care about anyone or anything else! And you!" The two woman's gazes finally met, "You just waltz in here and influence everything! I'm second in command – not you! You're so stupid!" She laughed again, "All it took was a few comments about fucking him and you lost your damn mind!" Yet another shrill laugh led her lips. "I'm gay! I don't want him – just to lead beside him. You were so easy to set off, it's fucking pathetic."
Padme reeled as she took in the other woman's raging words. All this time… Aphra was just messing with her? Tormenting her for what? For fun? Why? "I don't understand why you were so determined to hate me," she said honestly, "I only ever wanted us to be friends."
Anakin stepped forward and in front of Padme with an angry sneer. "You want to know why you have to listen to me? Because I'm good at surviving. You? All you know how to do is run around blind taking any scrap you can get. I think bigger."
Aphra seemed genuinely hurt by his words, she saw as it flashed across her face. Despite her lashing out, the other woman genuinely admired and trusted Anakin. "That… that's not true," she shook her head. "My deal with Palpatine was a good move – you would have made it yourself if you'd been here! But as usual, you were too distracted by her!"
"Oh yeah, what a great deal you got, Aphra," Anakin's voice was sickly sweet and falsely proud. "Tell me, where are these weapons and supplies? Hm? Have you seen them? Did Palpatine disclose their location? No?" Slowly, realisation began to dawn over the former archaeologist's face and a great sympathy for the other woman rose inside of Padme, despite everything. Her beliefs shattered around her ears. "Never get yourself into a deal unless you know for sure someone will hold up their end."
"He – he'll keep his word!" She sounded unsure for the first time, her eyebrows knitting together. "Just as soon as Palpatine gets his boy and that woman, he'll make good on his promises."
"I never thought you could be so stupid," Anakin shook his head.
"You're only saying that because you didn't make the deal yourself!" Aphra roared, pulling out her black handgun and aiming it toward Anakin's face as furious tears sprang to her eyes. "You're jealous! Maybe you're afraid that everyone here will see that I'm the better leader around here and they'll throw the both of you out!"
At the sight of the gun, Padme gasped and grasped at her former lover's coat sleeve. If this kept on, someone was going to snap and do something they would regret! "It was a mistake," she tried to push herself past the Imperial leader without success. "You two are friends! Let it go this one time. We have bigger things to think about now." She hated what Aphra had done, how hateful and spiteful the woman was but she would hate it so much more if something happened to her because of this mess. "There's nothing here that can't be mended, Aphra. Please… put the gun down."
Neither Imperial listened to her.
"If this plan of yours was really so great then I would have thought of it years ago when Rush was here." Anakin shook his head smugly, completely uncaring about the weapon pointed at his face.
"It's not fair," Aphra muttered, "it's not fair that we just have to do everything you say without question. I'm sick of it!"
"Then leave!" Anakin barked, "If you want to stay an Imperial, you do as I say. It's as simple as that, Aphra. I keep you all alive, that's what I've been doing all this time."
"If you cared about keeping us safe so much, you wouldn't have taken off out of the city at the first hint of your slut being alive out there!" She screamed, "I'm the only one who cares about the Imperials! Running this place is all I've ever cared about! I should be in charge, not you!"
"Don't you talk about her that way," he spat hatefully, "don't even look at her! I swear, if you open your mouth and Padme's name leaves your lips again, I will slit your throat, Aphra. I mean it."
The woman looked humiliated, angry and rebellious. A dangerous combination. She looked as if she was struggling between survival, obedience and the thrill of standing up to Anakin. The gun shook in her trembling hands. "I can't take this," her first tear spilled, "I won't take this anymore! You're done, Anakin! The Empire is mine!"
Her rebelliousness won out and she cocked the gun, ready to fire with one small tug of the trigger.
Padme's heart leapt into her throat.
Anakin merely rolled his eyes, as if Aphra's threat was nothing to him. He narrowed his eyes, angry at his friend's audacity more than the prospect of violence. The few Imperials who'd lingered in the basement immediately armed themselves against their comrade, choosing Anakin, pledging their loyalty to the only Imperial leader against Aphra.
Ironic, Padme thought to herself despite the terrified pounding of her heart, Aphra turned out to be some kind of Rebel after all.
Anakin raised a hand to stop anyone shooting Aphra for her betrayal. The two former friends glared at one another as if their bond had meant nothing to them.
"Aphra, don't do this," Padme forced the words past her lips even as every inch of her trembled in violent fear. How could she talk the woman out of this? What could she say to make her put the gun down before she made a terrible mistake? She had to think of something – anything! If she shot Anakin at this range it would be fatal. No matter what had happened between them, he was undoubtedly the absolute love of her life. Her soul mate. Even if they couldn't be together any longer, she loved him. He couldn't die. Padme couldn't live knowing that he wasn't in this world anymore, she couldn't. She tried to tug him back, to put some distance between him and the gun but Anakin would not budge. "Both of you, stop this! Stop now!"
Anakin merely shook his head, seemingly unfazed. "Oh no," his eyes didn't leave Aphra as she panted and trembled, coming unhinged before their very eyes. "I want to see where this goes."
"A bullet through your head!" She hissed, "That's where this goes."
He gave a long, low whistle. "You killing me and taking over… That's quite the story, isn't it?"
"It's about to become reality!"
"Anakin!" Padme cried, "please stop! You're making it worse!"
"Then what are you waiting for?" He shrugged, ignoring Padme's pleas, "Shoot me."
Her head spun from Aphra to Anakin, wide-eyed and furious that he would so openly goad someone who held a loaded weapon toward him! What the hell was he thinking?! Aphra glowered, her fury only growing at his taunting. Padme saw his fingers twitch above his own gun, ready to pounce and felt her panic spike. She knew he was quick but it wasn't enough – he should be scared. Why wasn't he afraid while staring down the barrel of a gun?
She wished he would stop throwing himself into danger like it was fun.
This had to stop! Now.
"I didn't want this," Aphra growled, "you drove me to it!"
"Enough! Seriously, both of you stop it!" Padme cried, tugging at Anakin's arm. "Tell her you're sorry, Ani! Tell her anything that'll stop this, please!" She murmured in his ear.
Some Imperials echoed their agreement in quiet, tense murmuring to which Aphra glared and bared her teeth.
"Don't worry, she'll do nothing," Anakin said boldly, "she would have done it already if she was going to."
"Bastard!" She yelled, "I hate you!" Aphra's finger moved to the trigger as she snarled a curse. It was happening. She was doing it. She was going to kill Anakin out of spite and jealously! Padme could hardly breathe through the panic. Her mind spun in a frantic circle of thoughts as everyone in the room seemed to brace themselves.
Do something! I have to do something! She's going to kill him!
The former archaeologist charged forward, tilting her gun for a fatal shot. She came forward, took aim and –
A gunshot blasted through the damp air and made the beasts in the other room howl and scream in fear and anger, their rusted cages rattling around their agitated forms as they shook and threw themselves around.
Anakin's eyes widened in shock. Aphra's gaze only had the time to flick between him and Padme before growing unfocused and slack. A small, weeping hole bled heavily in the centre of her chest. The woman choked out a disorientated sound before crumpling heavily to the cold, grimy floor.
Every eye in the room turned to Padme.
She stood beside Anakin, eyes wide with horror and her gun held in her shaking hands.
Aphra was going to do it – she was going to kill Anakin! It had been an instinct, a desperate need to protect who she loved for once… She'd snatched her gun from her belt without stopping to think…
It took a few moments for the gravity of what she'd done to sink into Padme's mind.
She stared at Aphra's lifeless body lying still on the ground in a growing pool of her own blood.
Padme killed her.
She…she… she killed her. Another person. A woman. A living, breathing person was dead because…
The gun fell from her hands and landed on the floor with a loud, echoing clatter. Murderer, her mind screamed, you're a murderer!
Aphra probably wouldn't have done it in the end, her scattered mind howled in grief, she would have backed out! She was just trying to scare Anakin into leaving. Trying to get the upper hand, just for a moment. Or – or Anakin would have stopped her. He would have overpowered her… Knocked her out or – or anything! But Padme pointed her gun at the woman and shot without even blinking!
On the outside, she probably just looked stunned, frozen in place as she stared at Aphra's corpse… The other woman's eyes were still wide and her full lips parted, locked forever in one final expression of shock at her own fate. Maybe to everyone watching, Padme even seemed calm.
But on the inside… She sobbed and screamed, her emotions caged by a wave of sudden, devastating guilt that threatened to drown her soul in its darkness. The person she was, the hopeful, kind girl who Padme used to be, cried and gasped for air, slowly being drowned by the blackness seeping within her.
Beside her, Anakin looked down at Aphra's body for a moment, his expression unreadable. He blinked and then released a slow, shaking breath, as if even he was still struggling to understand what just happened. After a few moments, the Imperial leader turned and motioned for his people to take the body up with a small tip of his head. One of them grasped Aphra's limp legs while the other hauled her up by the arms. It was a quiet effort, quick work, and soon the basement door was revolving as they carefully manoeuvred their way out.
Distantly, Padme heard Anakin barking at the remaining Imperials to get out. She heard their footsteps. The creaking stairs. The door swinging around and around… and then nothing. Quiet fell between the former couple for several minutes.
"Padme…" Anakin's voice was soft and unsure when he finally spoke, "that wasn't your fault."
Her eyes still lingered on the spot where Aphra fell. She couldn't tear them away. The pool of blood the young woman left behind was smeared now. Another nameless stain on this floor no one would ever question.
"Hey, look at me," he spoke again, coming to stand in front of her so his body blocked the blood and then his hands were on her face, making Padme look up at him. At once, finally, the tears came as the shock began to fade into a cruel understanding of what she'd done.
She took Aphra's life…
Aphra was dead. Dead. Not killed by beasts but by another human. She was murdered and Padme had been the one to do it! She was a murderer!
"Anakin," her voice came out in a trembling whisper, "I'm so sorry…"
"Don't be!" His eyes blazed down into hers fiercely, "You did nothing wrong!"
"But – but Aphra's dead… She's dead. Anakin, I killed her! She was your friend and I… I just…"
His thumb stroked her cheek, the other hand pushing her short hair over her shoulder and threaded through the curly locks, trying to be as comforting as he could. It did nothing for the furious, desperate cry of guilt her heart gave as the first of her tears began to spill over onto her cheeks. "Listen," he murmured, "she wanted to kill me. She took your friend and put him in danger… She had it coming, we all saw it."
Despite his words and the careful schooling of his expression, Padme saw the hurt in Anakin's eyes. She knew this wasn't what he wanted to happen to Aphra. They were friends, partners in crime, they fought by each other's side for years and Padme had destroyed that bond between them.
"No." She shook her head, face crumpling, "No – no! She wouldn't have… I just… I didn't even give her a chance!"
She should have waited. She should have let Anakin deal with it… Maybe if she just tried to talk to Aphra and not at her… God, why didn't she just shoot her in the leg? Padme could have done that but she killed her instead. She killed a woman and she didn't even have to! She was a monster, a murderer… She didn't deserve comfort.
She moved away from Anakin suddenly, shoving her hands on his chest to get him away. He let her draw back, his gaze burning into Padme from behind now as she took a few restless steps. Hysteria crept into her throat, building and building, threatening to make the young woman collapse in a screaming heap on the cold floor.
He had killed people before… Padme had watched him leave that man tied to the streetlight to await his fate. She knew he had done terrible things to protect himself and the people inside the Empire. How did he bear it? The chaos such a death brought? The bloodstains on his soul? How could someone stand it when death became a habit?
Padme wasn't like that. She'd always refused to let bloodshed become a pattern. She struggled against it always. Killing monsters was to defend herself and her friends, it was a necessity, but people? That was a choice! A terrible, awful choice that she just made. Sometimes, she used to think Anakin had just grown numb to it all, somehow simply used to it. But she didn't want to be numb or jaded – above all else, she wanted to stay human.
She wanted her heart to keep bleeding for everyone who died. Forgetting them and everything she stood for was so tempting sometimes when the pain grew too great, but she couldn't do it. That was how Padme Naberrie fought. Anakin struggled to keep breathing. Padme fought to keep feeling.
So how was she supposed to bear this?
"I killed her…" She said aloud to herself, "I killed someone."
The words came from her mouth but they didn't sound like her voice at all. Anakin came up behind her and threw his arms around her body, holding her to him desperately. After a moment, she turned in his arms and buried her face against his chest and began to sob openly, grasping his t-shirt in her palm as her tears wet the material.
"I wish you didn't have to do it," he laid his chin on her head and held her closer, "It wasn't your fault. It was mine, not yours. I shouldn't have taunted her."
"No," she shook her head against him, "No – no. You… You didn't do it."
"I let her build up resentment. I pushed her aside. I shouldn't have stopped her plan like that… There were better ways to do it." He mumbled, genuine regret thick in his trembling voice. "You pulled the trigger, Padme but I killed her." He moved and pressed his nose into her hair, "Leave the guilt to me," Anakin whispered now, "I already have so much blood on my hands… What's just a little more?"
Padme shut her eyes gave a small sob, her world spinning as a horrid sense of nausea hit her. Sometimes killing beasts gave her adrenaline but shooting Aphra, seeing the other woman's body fall limp to the floor turned her belly upside down. It came all too quickly. She barely had time to push away from Anakin and turn before throwing up what little contents there were in her stomach.
"Shh," Anakin gently scooped back her hair and stroked her back, "it's alright… I promise you're going to be okay."
"Oh god," she whimpered, "I killed her… Anakin, I really killed her!"
The nausea came once more and Padme wretched again, struggling to breathe through the heaving and crying all at once. When her stomach finally settled, she slowly turned back to Anakin. He stared at her, his eyes intense and completely focused on hers. They looked at each other, clung to one another, and his mouth parted as though he might speak –
"She's awake!" Kit's voice hollered from the door upstairs and the spell between them was broken. It drew Anakin's gaze away from Padme and she quickly pulled herself back to a respectable distance.
"We'll be up in a minute!" He Imperial leader answered before looking back to Padme. His eyes were filled with a tender concern and affection that made the young woman ache for everything that was lost between them. "Can you face this? You don't have to."
"Yes I do," her face hardened as she nodded. Padme closed her eyes and willed herself to be calm. There was a woman upstairs who had been through a terrible time – they needed to know everything she could tell them. And then Rush would be back and safe and they could go to Obi-wan together. She just had to get through it.
I can do this. I can do this. I have to do this.
They went upstairs where the Imperials had gathered around one of the long, rectangular tables where the hotel's concierge once sat. As Padme approached, she saw the woman cough and touch her throat with a wince. She'd really been through something… The former Imperial rushed around the table to the kitchen storage room and grabbed a bottle of water before returning, uncapping the plastic lid and handing it to the other woman.
The stranger took it gratefully, her bony fingers closing around the plastic. "Thank you," she breathed after taking a few big, gulping sips.
"Are you okay?" Padme asked, "How do you feel?"
"I'm fine, thank you."
Anakin glanced between the two women from where he stood between Maul and Kit, his arms folded over his chest. "Who are you?" His commanding voice caught everyone's attention.
"My name is Roganda," she said, "Roganda Ismaren."
Padme saw Anakin blink and tip his head, as if he recognised the name but he didn't keep her focus for long. She turned back to Roganda with a forced, gentle smile. "Do you need anything else? Food? More water?"
"Nothing, I'm well. Thank you."
"What does Palpatine want with you?" Anakin asked, "What do you mean to him?"
At this, Roganda gave a tight smile and she swallowed nervously, bowing her head so that her dark, inky hair spilled over her face for a long moment. "I am his wife," she said at last, "that's why he wants me back."
Padme parted her lips in surprise and stared at the beauty of the woman, taking in her angular face, slender figure and piercing eyes… How did someone like this end up with someone as horrible as Rush's father?
"I ran from him when I learned what's happening," Palpatine's wife continued, her voice tight, "He… He was never a kind man but this? It's too much… I used to admire his cutthroat ability to protect what was his. It got us places after everything happened. Preserved our standard of living, that was very important to me. It's why I married him. But that doesn't matter anymore. He'll have people looking for me. He wants his son and I out of New York immediately."
"Why?" Maul spoke up, his low, gravelly voice splitting the single syllable into the air. "Why does your husband want you both out of the city now?"
For a moment, Roganda looked taken aback by the tattooed man's appearance, her eyes widening comically and then pulling away, as if she'd never seen something so out of the ordinary before. "Oh my," she muttered, "well simply, it is because he wants to save us. Any husband and father would do the same."
Anakin cocked his head to look at the woman as she spoke and Padme felt it pooling in her stomach – the dread. The sense that nothing about this could possibly be good. "Save you…" He said, "Save you from what, exactly?"
Roganda took a long, deep breath, a veil of sadness and bitterness came over her eyes as she began talking, her gaze moving around the band of curious Imperials standing around her. "I – I am a lot of things but there are certain limits a person has. Sheev can turn his back on people easily and really, it was to our benefit but this time… I couldn't do it. It was too much. I wanted to warn you people about what was coming but he didn't like that. He wanted me to stop making such a fuss and be quiet."
"Warn us about what?" Anakin snapped, his tone betraying his anxiety. He was terribly on edge. Padme looked at him and he glanced at her quickly before returning his eyes to Roganda.
"Sheev and the others, I don't know who they are… They are very powerful people who knew about the beasts a long time before anyone else. Throughout the last year, there have ben operations. A privately funded military with weapons and planes. Planes sent over major cities –"
"With chemicals, we know about those," Padme said.
"Then you know what they're for?" The woman raised an eyebrow at Anakin.
"They attract beasts."
"Yes," Roganda confirmed with a nod, "They do. Do you know why?"
Anakin clenched his jaw. He hated it when someone knew something he didn't. Padme shook her head as an answer and Roganda's eyes came to her now, her chest heaving with every breath. "We don't know, we haven't gotten that far yet."
"It's a government operation," the woman said, "A new government which Sheev plans to helm. They intend to lure the monsters into the big cities. The new army has been watching the borders of such cities in America. They've been sent to keep people in! So the beasts have meat and don't feel the need to wander out. And then, once enough beasts have been attracted in, they'll strike!"
"What the hell do you mean, they'll strike?" There was something dark and ugly in Anakin's eyes and his lips twisted down into an icy, dangerous scowl. Padme saw straight through it, the mask of the unflinching, ruthless leader he put on.
Anakin was afraid.
The realisation gripped at her heart so tight that she almost forgot how to breathe. She turned back to the other woman with wide eyes as she clenched her jaw bitterly, distress etched into every line of her beautiful face.
"They've lured the monsters into every major city across the globe which has been under siege," Roganda's voice filled with dread. "They brought them here and now they're going to kill them. They're going to bomb this city, destroy the beasts and everyone trapped inside."