Title: Breathing Space

Author: Lyndz13

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but you are welcome to sue me for the little money indigo pays me.

Summary: A mistake could result in the end of Addison's career. Could it also mean the end of her marriage as well? Addison/Derek

Author Notes: I don't know if I like this chapter or not. I wrote it twice and it still seemed wrong to me. Oh well...Please give feedback. Tell me what you think, what you want to happen.

The moment Addison was out of sight, Derek felt his heart sink in his chest. He may have just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him and he hadn't even realized it until just then. This whole time he had been worried about his feelings for Meredith and making sure that Addison wasn't getting off easy. He didn't want to let her get close to him without making sure she wouldn't hurt him again. It never dawned on him that he was hurting her as much as he was. He just hoped that spending that much time in Manhattan wouldn't put more distance between them than there already was.

Addison's first stop when she reached Manhattan was her parents house. She hadn't seen them since she had left for Seattle and she had missed them terribly. Her father had answered the door when she knocked.

"Addi?"

Instead of greeting him back she walked up to him and hugged him for dear life.

"What's wrong hunnie?"

"Oh Dad everything's a mess."

Her fatherled her into the living room and sat her down on the couch. Addison's mother entered soon after and sat on the opposite side of her daughter.

"You know that Derek and I have been trying to make it work. Well I was anyways, he doesn't want to forgive me so he isn't trying very hard. Anyways the other day he didn't set the alarm for me after her had gotten up. I had reminded him 5 times but he still forgot. I was late for work, for a very important surgery actually and by the time I got there my patient and her child had died. I couldn't save them." Addison had begun crying by now and her parents just held her closer. They urged her to continue.

"We had this big blow out in front a bunch of people at the hospital, including Meredith the woman he fell in love with while he was gone. The Chief came up and ordered me into his office. He told me I was suspended for 2 weeks and that I'd better hope to god I didn't get sued. While I was changing into my street clothes decided I needed a break. I decided to come here. I saw Derek on my way out and he told me he loved me and that I was his soul mate and then he kissed me. He hasn't kissed me like that since we first fell in love, maybe not ever. I just left him standing there."

Addison's parents just held her close and let her cry. They had only seen her like this once, and that was when she came to them and told them that Derek had left. Addison's mother spoke up.

"You did what you needed to do sweetie. I think this time apart will be good for both of you. It will give you both time to think things over. This way you can spend some time with your family and friends and by the time you get back you will have a better idea of how you really feel."

"Why don't you stay go on up and have a nice relaxing bath and then get into bed. You look like you could use a long sleep." Addison father helped her up and pointed her in the direction of the stairs.

She spent the rest of her two weeks visiting with friends and family. She had even visited the hospital that both she and Derek had left so suddenly. Everyone was happy to see her there. Being here reminded her of how different her life was in Seattle. She didn't have any friends there, her whole life was the hospital and Derek. She vowed that was going to change when she got back..if she went back.

She had just said goodbye to her parents and was about to hail a cab when a black Mercedes pulled up. She recognized the car right away, it was Marks. He stepped out of the car and came around to her side.

"Hi Addison."

"Mark. What are you doing here?"

"I heard that you were heading back to Seattle today and I thought that we might be able to talk. I'll drive you to the airport and we can talk on the way."

Addison agreed and got in the front seat and waited for Mark to load her bags. He hopped in and they sped off towards the airport.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I know you are trying to make it work with Derek. It took me a while but I accept that, I mean you were married for over a decade. I just wanted to know how you were doing? I head (heard) what happened to get you out here."

"I really have no clue. I thought coming out here would give me the chance to clear my head and figure things out but that didn't happen. All I know is that I still love Derek, but it just hurts so much when I see him flirting with Meredith. He says they are just friends but he gives her the look that he used to save only for me."

"Addi I think you just need to go back there and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him what you need from him, if he can't give that to you then you have your answer. And if you need someone you know I am always here for you."

The rest of the drive was just a reminder of why she slept with Mark in the first place. He listened to her and cared about her. It was so obvious in the way that he treated her. She knew right now that if things didn't work out with Derek she could probably be just as happy with Mark, and that thought just confused her more.

She said goodbye to Mark with a long hug. She missed being hugged by someone who wanted her. She got on the plane and got ready to face all her demons back in Seattle.

By the time she reached the hospital it was time for her first shift back to start. She was well rested and ready to face almost anything...or so she told herself. She entered the hospital confidently walking towards the Chief who she saw standing talking with Derek, Burke and Bailey. They all greeted her and commented on how great she looked. She turned to the Chief and asked him if they could get it over with. The Chief lead her to his office and then closed the door.

"It would have been nice to know you were going to New York."

"I needed a break, and what better time to go than when I was suspended."

"I know what happened."

"I told him not to tell you. He's not in trouble is he?"

"He's not, but that's not who I heard it from. You should have just told me Addie."

"Probably but I didn't want to bring him down with me."

"Well it's all in the past. We explained what happened to the hospital lawyers and they said that if they decide to sue they don't really have a case because they refused all other doctors."

"Well that's good."

"Great! Well now that you are back you can get started on those three cases that traveled here just for you. I spent 2 weeks listening to them scream and yell about you not being available for surgery. I'm just glad you are back."

Addison didn't respond, just smiled warily at Webber before heading off to find Derek.

Addison headed down to the nurses station where she knew Derek would be. She scanned the area and saw him standing off to the side talking with Meredith. Normally that would be ok with her but she could see that he was obviously flirting with her. Seeing them together after Derek had confessed his love for her in front of the surgical floor was heartbreaking. Instead of walking over like she normally would, she turned around and caught the elevator up to the 5th floor NICU. It was time to deal with some patients.

By the end of the day Derek was starting to get worried. He hadn't heard anything from Addison and was starting to worry that she wasn't coming home. Just as he was about to call her he overheard Dr. Stevens as she was walking by.

"Did you see Dr. Shepherd today? She looks totally hot! The two weeks off was just what she needed. I little shopping, a little spa day is all a girl really needs."

Addison had come home and hadn't come to see him. Something must have happened and he was going to figure out what it was. He headed up to her unit only to be greeted by the sound of yelling coming from one of the rooms. He walked over and saw a pregnant woman in bed and an assortment of family members surrounding her, all of which where ganging up on his wife.

"We traveled all this way because you are the best, and then we get here and you are gone. You should have let us know, we could have saved time and money."

"I apologize but the situation was out of my control."

"How was it out of your control! I mean you are the doctor."

"I was suspended alright! I couldn't come in the hospital for 2 weeks."

"What? Why?"

Derek took that as his cue to come in and help Addison out.

"If you must know it was my fault"

"And who the hell are you?"

"I'm her husband. I'm also the one who got her suspended. I'm the one that caused her patient to die. So please direct your anger at me. It's my fault."

"One of your patients died!"

"Derek I know you are trying to help here but you're not. I'll see you at home ok?"

"But Addi..."

"Just go!"

Derek left the room feeling horrible. There was just nothing he could do right lately, but he was going to remedy that.

Ok well that's the end of this chatper and I still don't know if I like it or not. It just seems to me missing something. Tell me what you think.