Disclaimer: I own nothing really, not even this plot because its all been done before. Please don't sue me.

AN: This will be odd. People have asked me what the start is, but I'm not sure I can explain it well enough. Just stick with it and please enjoy. Review if you like

Love. I watch everything around me and all I can see is the love that is in this world. My friends love me and I them. My mother loved me and so do a lot of people.

It's just like they say, about the twin towers, most of those people on the planes wouldn't have sent out messages of hate or anger. As far as I know, they were all of love, and that has got to mean something. If you think of your loved ones and the ones who love you, things seem a little brighter, because they know who you are and love that person.

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Chapter 4 Love

"Look guys, I really am fine. Perfect, in fact. Don't worry so much." Hermione was trying in vain to get Harry and Ron to leave. To make for her sudden 'illness' she had lied and for once, it wasn't plausible in the least.

"Hermione- we just," Ron began but looked away and shifted his feet. Hermione sighed and tried to be as Hermione-ish as possible.

"Look I'm fine now guys. Just tried to do a big spell when I wasn't up to par. I sneezed and it went bad. For Christ sake its not like I'm hurt is it?" She said as matter-of-factly as she could, and tried to look like Hermione. It was failing because all she got was disdainful looks and a disgusted snort.

Hermione was and always had been Hermione at this school. She always had the answer and had read all the books she could get her hands on. She was braver, older and wiser than others. Hermione had to always be a step ahead, and put distance while making them come close. To survive, she always had played this game. Now this little thing could ruin her life here, and make them realize that she wasn't like the Hermione they knew at all. That she was in fact, someone else.

"You've been out of it two days Hermione." Harry snapped angrily. "It couldn't have been that taxing to do it." She tensed.

"It was." She stated. "And I don't think I need to explain myself twenty times, considering you said that you were smart." As the boys started to rile up, she smiled to herself.

"FINE!" Ron spat at her and then Harry had to have his say.

"For God's sake Hermione, aren't your friends allowed to be concerned anymore?" He demanded, not expecting any answer. Hermione's thin smile was too cold for the role she played.

"I don't know why you were concerned Harry Potter." Hermione said icily. "You haven't been concerned about me before now have you?" Harry clenched his jaw and stormed out. Ron didn't even throw a look Hermione's way before he did the same, but Hermione saw his face, it was full of anguish.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Harry demanded as he and Ron walked the grounds. "What the hell is she covering up??" Ron shrugged." Doesn't she get that we love her no matter what??"

"The question we should ask," he said instead "is why doesn't she trust us?" Harry agreed.

Hermione was fighting back tears. She hated the fact that they had left. She thought of how they loved her, but the bitter part of her whispered 'they don't really love you. They love the idea you, and the image you've put forth. They don't care about you, only that false identity.'

Hermione growled and shook herself; she couldn't afford to think like that. Always had too be on top.

Hermione wished with all her twisted heart, that she hadn't done that spell.

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It was Friday now. Hermione had done all of her homework and that stupid baka's as well.

She'd gotten word to meet him up in the North Tower. It was near the arranged meeting time and Hermione couldn't rid herself of this fear. It felt weird; usually it was pain that turned her guts inside out, this time fear over ruled everything. It wasn't bad, just different.

Hermione glanced at her watch; the time was twelve, half an hour left. She closed her eyes and gave a small whimper. Hermione felt tears threaten to fall. Ron and Harry were still angry at her, and Ginny was busy. No one could help now anyway.

Why did love always have to come up with friends? Why couldn't they hate her? That way when they found out that she had lied all these years, they wouldn't hurt as much.

Hermione felt around in her back pack for a pocket knife, right now she needed it a lot more than she would care to show. The idea that Hermione always needed it was laughable, but true.

Hermione pulled up her skirt and moved so her thigh was in plain sight. Ignoring all the healed scars, Hermione cut into that once soft flesh.

It was amazing. Hermione gasped and felt blood trickle down her leg. Always it amazed her how pain could be so thrilling. Her leg stung and began to throb. The cut this time was deep, almost too deep, but that was the best part of it all. The danger of it: and how it felt afterwards.

The blood went faster as she widened the cut and Hermione just relaxed her tense body. Everything she was stressing about slowly left. The pain of the world was counter-acted by the pain of her leg.

Images flashed past her as she went higher and higher into the world she always came too. As always, it ended to quickly, and she fell down into the real world.

Hermione stopped the blood flow with a flick of her wand, and cleaned up the mess. It was now time to go. Slowly she got up and relived just what she just done. It felt wonderful. Grabbing Malfoy's work, she limped out the portrait door, unaware of a shocked gaze following her every move.

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"You're late Hermione." Draco Malfoy sneered as she opened the door. Hermione shrugged and then saw his cronies. She put down the homework and whipped out her wand.

"Obliviate doer." She said. A flash later and they were dumb as doorknobs. They had no idea what had happened in the last day. The saw Malfoy and he waved them away. Both of them shrugged and walked out past Hermione as she turned her and to Malfoy. He smirked as she tried the same.

"Oh no. What is going on?" Draco Malfoy said in a very sarcastic tone. "No my memories of today have…not been erased." And his smirk grew bigger. Hermione felt a shiver down her spine and a old feeling of dread when his grey eyes narrowed.

"You shouldn't have even tried mud blood. For that I think you should pay."