Stars passed in a flurry of stretching, blurring light as the rushing air grew frigid around her. Her breath was a small gust of fog appearing and dissolving every few moments mere inches from her face. Every moment Padme's eyes remained open was a battle she found more and more difficult to win. God, she was so tired… so tired… her head hurt so badly... The pain throbbed behind her left eye in a constant burst of agony while deep within her arm, the bullet which had torn through her flesh had mercifully faded to a dull, ignorable ache.

Laying in the back of the truck, it was impossible to know how long they'd been travelling. How far had they come? How much longer before they stopped? People would need their wounds tended to, they had to find out who had made it and who had been lost… Her thoughts faded as her fingers reached weakly to where Anakin lay beside her, still unconscious despite Obi-wan's best efforts to wake him earlier, feeling his bloodied neck for a pulse. He couldn't die. She wouldn't let him die! Even if every last ounce of her energy was quickly fading away, Padme was going to make sure Anakin got through this. To die was to lose and the Imperial leader did not lose.

Former Imperial leader… there were no more Imperials to lead or Rebels to fight. There was no Empire of Coruscant. No New York, not anymore. Everything they had ever known, every street they run through, every road they fought on, building she had been kissed or fucked or loved or almost died in was ashes in the wind now. There was nothing left, the thought was devastating and tears welled within Padme's eyes even as she felt Anakin's weak pulse beat against her trembling fingers. He was alive but everything else was gone.

It would be as they were never there. All of the suffering, victories, losses, fun and heartbreak they had fought to live and feel were gone. Padme tried to imagine a vast expanse of empty where her beloved city had once stood so proudly but the thought only left her nauseous. Of course, she had known this was going to happen. She knew Palpatine and his friends were going to destroy the city until nothing remained, but she hadn't expected to feel so desolate in its wake.

The beasts there were eradicated now, that had been the point, hadn't it? Maybe in time, it would one day be safe to rebuild and restart if their numbers were culled elsewhere, but at what cost? How many people had the Imperials and Rebels missed in their searches? How many had been stranded because of Palpatine's attack? Hundreds? More? She couldn't bear to think about it.

I'm never going to see the Empire again… It was a strange and devastating thought. The hotel she had been unwillingly dragged to had become her home and safe place amongst the darkness. Padme had drank, laughed and loved there. She had felt brutal despair and heartbreak in that building. She fell in love with Anakin, befriended Kit and Rex inside those walls and learned not just to survive but thrive even if the world around her didn't will it.

It was all gone.

Finally, after checking Anakin's pulse once more and linking her cold fingers through his, Padme's heavy eyes slid shut despite her best efforts as the constant motion of the truck lulled her aching body to sleep. She should try to stay awake… but she couldn't… maybe if she just shut her eyes for a second or two… No, if she fell asleep now, who would keep an eye on Anakin? Obi-wan and Sabe were silent at the front of the truck, though now and then a quiet, feminine sniffle broke the heavy quiet around them. Were Rex and Ahsoka alright, she wondered? Or Bail and Mon? Kit? Dorme? What about the others? She had so many questions but no way to find any answers until Sabe stopped the truck somewhere safe?

But where was safe now? Without New York or the Empire, they had no protection and nowhere to go. Of course, Palpatine's plans to lure beasts into the city for its destruction meant many were gone but who knew how many more might still lurk around? Without shelter, everyone was exposed and helpless – especially if a horde was to pick up their scent. There was so much blood around just her and Anakin, Padme didn't want to think about the others, the smell would surely attract any roaming beasts wherever they settled.

Were there enough weapons left? Ammunition? What about food and water? Padme's head spun with a thousand worries and began to throb even worse as bright explosions of white light burst before her eyes. Maybe if they could find some kind of large building to rest inside and recoup, everything would be alright. There were factories and malls outside the city, weren't there? So long as there was a refuge from the weather and creatures, they could rest and recover until everyone was strong enough to journey further.

Eventually, they would find somewhere to call home again. Somewhere to hide from Palpatine, Rush and whatever tainted new world their associates were planning to build. This time, they would all be together in the fight, no Rebels, no Imperials just people banding together to survive through hell, like it always should have been. "We're not far…" Padme heard her own dry voice croak as she stroked Anakin's snow-white cheek even though the small movement sent a spike of agony so brutally through her arm that tears burned within her eyes again. She wanted him to remember she was waiting for him to wake up because he had to wake up. He had to! "Just hang on a little longer, okay? Just a little longer…"

Despite her best efforts, Padme's eyes slowly drooped further and further until darkness claimed her vision entirely.

Echoing shouts and frantic whispers tore her from sleep with a gasp. Padme jolted as her eyes snapped open and she felt herself moving… Different to the smooth glide of the car, something rickety shuddered and creaked beneath her. What was happening? Above, a bright, white light burned her sensitive eyes, momentarily blinding the young woman as she tried to focus.

"… in the old days we would've scanned but…" a foreign voice caught her attention in a broken mutter, making Padme frown and groan as she tried to sit up. Firm hands pressed into her shoulders, forcing her body down again even as she instantly tried to shrug the pressure off. "Hey – hey, Padme, is it? It's alright, just relax. Everything's going to be alright now."

Finally, her vision cleared to find three unknown faces hovering above her. Two dark-haired men and a red-headed woman looked down at her calmly though the hands at her shoulders did not release her. "You're safe, don't worry," the woman smiled kindly, "We're here to take care of you and your friends."

"I had no idea things were so bad outside the walls," someone said, "I don't know how anyone made it this far - especially in their conditions!"

Padme's head began to throb more powerfully than before. "Where am I?" She groaned, lifting a hand to her forehead weakly, "Where's Anakin? Is he alright? I need to see Obi-wan…"

"You're in the hospital, Padme," the woman said, "I don't know exactly where all your friends are but I'll find out as soon as I can and let you know."

Hospital? How… How was that possible? Wasn't it destroyed in the New York explosions with everything else? No, that couldn't be right – they were driving for hours to get safely away from the blasts… did that mean there was another medical centre outside the city? "I don't understand." Padme shook her head, "What hospital? Where are we?"

"You're in Caelum," one of the men said, "formerly known as Niagara before the walls were built. It's a miracle you and your friends were able to make it so far but it's a good thing you did." At last, the pressure on her shoulders released, though she felt frozen in place regardless, "Some of your people were in bad shape when you got here. I don't know how much longer you would have lasted."

Caleum? Niagara? Her people in bad shape? What the hell was going on? Unsure which to focus on first, Padme eased herself upwards on her unwounded elbow and frowned at the three people before her. "Where is Anakin?" She said again, her voice growing firm, "And Obi-wan. I want to see them both now."

Obi-wan would know what was going on, he would make it all make sense more than these strangers ever could. She just had to see him and then it would be alright. He would know exactly what to say for it all to come together. As the people before her glanced at one another, Padme looked around the room. Her company wore navy scrubs and comfortable shoes, just like the doctors in medical shows she had once enjoyed. The walls were lined with bright, childish swipes of paint and crayon scribbles had been pinned up like prized portraits.

"I know this is a lot to take in," the other man sighed, "one of your companions said you're all New York survivors so I can't even imagine what you've been through… but you're safe now. All your friends are safe with us. We're all doing everything we can to make them better and we'll have you all reunited as soon as we can, I promise."

"But first, we've got to take care of your wounds, okay?" The woman smiled kindly once more, "I'm doctor Addison McCook and these are my colleagues, Doctors Alister Grey and Tristan Sloan." Hesitantly, Doctor McCook traced her fingertips over Padme's wounded arm, careful to avoid touching the areas of the injury. "You're lucky, Padme, there are exit wounds meaning the bullets didn't imbed themselves in your skin. If they had, I'm not sure you would have made it this far."

Lucky, she wanted to scoff, that wasn't luck, it was yet another encounter with death. Narrowly escaping its dark clutches twice didn't feel particularly fortunate and it took all of her willpower to not roll her eyes at the kind woman. "What happens now then?" She asked.

"We'll clean the wounds out and get you all stitched up which, I'll be honest, won't be very fun," Doctor Sloan winced, "and I want to do a few checks on your head. Your friend told me you hit it pretty hard. I want to be sure there are no hidden concussion symptoms before you can get up and around. Afterwards, we'll get you to your friends, okay?"

Closing her eyes, Padme exhaled heavily and nodded. Whatever would get her out of this room quicker, she would tolerate. She just had to find out if Anakin was safe and speak to Obi-wan before she lost her mind. "Fine. Do it."

"Wonderful," Doctor McCook nodded to Doctor Grey who crossed the room and began preparing a silver dish full of medical supplies she had no desire to understand. While he worked, the other two carefully helped Padme to sit up properly, propping her back against the stiff pillows behind her. "You must have so many questions," the woman dragged a tall silver stool to the bedside. "I'm happy to answer while we work."

Questions? Padme could have written books with all of her confusion but these doctors seemed sincere enough. Maybe she could trust them to tell her the truth until she found the others? "You said we were in Niagara but called it another name," she began, "What is this place?"

"We are in what used to be Niagara – we're right near the falls actually, but since everything went to hell, things changed here. Survivors who got through the first real wave of it banded together to create a safe community to shield themselves from the monsters. Caleum. It's our home and we're all grateful to be here." Doctor McCook explained as she pulled azure rubber gloves over her hands, "Tall walls were built around the area so those things would have a much more difficult time getting inside, though it doesn't always stop them, I'm afraid."

But… but that didn't make any sense! All this time, Padme hadn't thought many people outside of the city had survived through the years. For all the danger New York brought, it also provided shelter and supplies for a long time before things began running out… How did people all the way out here last so long without so many stores to take from? She frowned, "How could any of this be possible?"

"People tend to come together in dark times," the doctor smiled softly, "Wasn't that the case with you and your people in New York? You all got here together, after all."

Padme felt her eyes widen as the screams of the man Anakin tied to the streetlight to die rang in her ears as loudly as if he were in front of her now. Aphra's wide, lifeless eyes stung her. Screams and blood and death were a liquid agony rushing through every single vein in her body as every terror and trauma she had lived through and witnessed replayed inside of her head. So much loss and pain… So much suffering all those years in the city. Everyone she had known was torn apart and affiliated only by which building they had shielded themselves inside, hating the other for their choices and, God, it had all felt so critically important inside then but now?

What were they thinking? Fighting and killing each other over non-existent differences, hiding supplies and claiming streets as territory as if humans, people, were the real enemy... why? Tears filled Padme's eyes and quickly spilled over onto her paling cheeks. All that time, it had been possible to come together – they had proven it by escaping the city and Palpatine's soldiers! Why couldn't they have come together before, in the days before the fighting and death? Why had it come down to the prospect of everyone dying for Rebels and Imperials to come together? Was it Anakin's fault? Or Obi-wan's? Had the fallout of their estrangement also tainted everybody who chose to follow them?

All the time they had been fighting and killing in the name of their aimless, unnecessary war against each other, the Rebels and Imperials could have come together as people. They could have helped each other! How many lives would they all have saved if they hadn't been so stupidly and blindly selfish? If others here could do it and build something safe, why couldn't they? Was she corrupted in some way? Poisoned from the inside out like everyone else from the city?

As more tears spilled over her eyelids, Padme felt herself begin to tremble. Look at what they could have done… they could have built instead of destroyed. It wasn't fair! Why couldn't they have known peace like others outside of the city? Why had they been twisted and mutilated into killers and monsters almost worse than the beasts hunting them?

She had killed. People were dead at her hands… and they didn't have to be. Everything could have been different, everything could have been better. All this time, it could have been so much better. The violence and fighting replayed before her eyes, Rebel against Imperial, the boom of gunshots, the echo of dying screams… the starvation they all endured, the suffering… and for nothing.

"No," Padme said, at last, closing her eyes as two final tears wet her skin, "That wasn't the case at all."

Over an hour of poking, prodding and bandages later, Padme was offered a handful of only slightly expired pain medicine and a plastic cup of water to swallow the pills down. Even if they were years old, if they could help the deep, burning throb of her arm, she would take them gladly.

Doctor McCook had strenuously advised she lay down and rest to help her body recover before leaving her alone, but sleep was the very last thing on her mind now. She had to find her friends. Was anyone hurt? Who had made it out?

Who didn't?

Padme's stomach clenched and twisted to imagine any of her friends left behind in the city thanks to Palpatine's interventions or the attacking beasts. Those hours had been a mixture of such terror and utter desperation for her, she hadn't had a moment to think about anyone else. Twisting her aching body, she slid out of the bed and closed her eyes for a moment as the world seemed to shift and spin all around her.

Please let them all be okay, the silent prayer came to her mind, I know it's selfish… but please let all of them be alright…

Everyone she knew, every Imperial and every Rebel deserved this chance they had discovered. This place, the walls of Caleum, seemed to be a solace, a warm embrace after the hell they had all lived through. At last, they could be still and taste peace. Kit could help people with medicine again, just like he wanted to do in the old world. Sabe could have her baby without the threat of beasts following the scent of blood or echo of the child's screams. Dorme could finally have a life and make the choices she always craved. Ahsoka and Barriss could be together. Bail could be happy again. Mon could see the outside world once more. Obi-wan could be a father.

However they had stumbled across this place, whatever hand of fate or right turn they had taken, Caleum could be the bright light at the end of the darkness they had all endured for so long. Here, they could forget about Palpatine and grow beyond their fear to become more, part of something bigger than just themselves at last! Didn't they owe it to everyone who hadn't made it this far to take the chance?

As everything steadied around her again, Padme slowly made her way out of the room and through the small hallways of the hospital, passing doctors and nurses who rushed around from doorway to doorway, clearly unused to such a sudden flurry of activity and patients. No one wore weapons strapped to their bodies, she noticed, her breath hitching. Violence wasn't an unquestioned part of people's days here. Doctor McCook had said the walls didn't always stop beasts but they were rare occurrences, there was no need for constant fear here. When was the last time anyone here had even seen one of the creatures with their own eyes?

"Padme!" A male voice cried, pulling her from her thoughts and she lifted her bleary gaze to find Rex standing by the last doorway in the row of rooms before her. "Nice to see you, lass! About time you decided to get up and join us." The New Zealander smiled so brightly, it was easy to let everything else in her mind fall away. He was here. He was alive and he was here! What else could matter right now?

Face crumbling, Padme rushed to her friend as quickly as her pained body would allow and carefully threw herself into the large man's waiting arms. Rex caught her unsteadily, chuckling deeply even as tears filled her eyes yet again. "You're here," she gasped into his chest, "Oh, Rex you're here!"

"Aye, I'm here alright," he held her closer, "In no small part to Ahsoka's madness on the road, but we got out in one piece, give or take." Frowning, Padme pulled back from him as Rex's brown eyes narrowed in a slight wince as he lifted his left hand, bound in a new, gauzy bandage concealing his entire hand. "Lost a couple of fingers to a bullet on the way here," he answered her silent question.

"I'm so sorry!" Padme shook her head, "I can't believe I didn't notice and just barrelled into you like that! You should have said something!"

The New Zealander only laughed again, as if the loss of his fingers was some kind of joke only he would ever understand. "Don't worry about it, lass. Hardly felt it anyway!"

Even if that were the truth, she still felt guilty for not paying attention. Who knew what state everyone would be in after surviving a shower of bullets and a brutal stampede of beasts? "How are Ahsoka and Barriss? Are they safe?" Padme asked softly.

"They're fine, I promise. Last I saw them, they were talking to your friend, Obi-wan about Anakin…" Rex trailed off with a wince, shaking his head gently, "Don't think I've ever seen him in such bad shape. What the hell happened back there?"

The echo of her own terrible scream roared in Padme's ears as the memory of blasting bullets into Palpatine's soldiers to keep Anakin from their grabbing hands burst forth in her mind. He had taken bullets for her and lay crumpled and bleeding worse than she had ever seen. He had always been so fearless, so untouchable before... it had been terrifying to see him fall.

"Is he alive?" Padme whispered, just barely able to force the words past her reluctant lips. With wounds like his, most people wouldn't be able to stave off death but this was Anakin, he looked death in the eye and rejected its very concept! But there was only so much somebody could take, she knew that all too well. "Rex, please tell me he's alive?"

Just like everybody else, Anakin deserved a chance to appreciate what Caleum could offer, a life of peace without fear or violence! For the first time in almost all his life, he could settle. There was nothing to fight or guard or lead anymore, he could be a normal man in a community where people helped each other not hunted. What would a simple life look like for a man like Anakin? Padme couldn't imagine what he might do with himself, but he should have the chance to find out for himself.

Maybe, without the shadows of his old life and the weight of leading a hotel full of people settled on his shoulders, he would be lighter and free to be the young man he should always have been. Without the Empire or its people, without beasts to hunt or Rebels to clash with, Padme wondered who her former lover might be now? Would she recognise him now that nothing depended upon him but his own life?

"He was last I saw him," Rex sighed, "but they rushed him off before I could find much of anything out – a whole team of them took him in about an hour ago now. I don't know what happened after that." He squeezed her shoulder with his tanned, unwounded hand, "I'm sure he'll be alright, Padme. Anakin's always been too stubborn to die, I don't see that changing now."

For a moment, all Padme could do was nod, lifting her own hand to lay over Rex's. "Do you know where they took him? She said, forcing words out of her dry mouth. "I don't want him to be alone when he wakes up."

She couldn't imagine how confusing it would be for Anakin to open his eyes in a strange room, full of doctors he didn't know when the last thing he remembered was the fighting in front of the Empire. He was reactive by nature and might lash out and hurt himself or someone else. No, it would be better if she was there to explain things and make him calm. As confused and overwhelmed as Padme felt, Anakin needed her to be strong for him right now.

"This way," Rex tipped his head to the flaking blue doorway and led her into yet another hallway and around a series of corners. Though it seemed to be well-staffed and bright, Calum was not like the hospitals Padme remembered from the old world. Several lights were either dimmed or burned out leaving spots and whole hallways in darkness as they moved through. Patches of damp decorated the walls and ceilings where rainfall had bled through and stained the likely once impeccable building. Dust lay thick on many door handles of disused rooms and areas not frequented by patients or doctors. It was enough, she thought, so long as lives were saved here, nothing else mattered.

As Rex held one last door open, Padme found Ahsoka and Obi-wan side by side on the floor resting against the wall exhaustedly. Both of her friends glanced up at the woosh of the doorway opening and quickly exchanged a wide-eyed glance at one another as they rushed to stand. "Padme!" Obi-wan cried, "I – we weren't expecting you to be up and about yet!"

Before she could answer, an agonised, roar tore through the momentary silence from the closed doorway opposite Obi-wan and Ahsoka. Only as the girl clenched her eyes closed as if to shut out the sound from her mind did Padme notice the wet trails on her cheeks. Another scream drew her eyes to the doorway and horrified dread began to rise inside her throat. "Padme…" Obi-wan said again, reaching for her even as she shook her head, unwilling to accept the truth beginning to dawn in her mind.

"No…" She whispered, unable to tear her widening gaze from the door, "that's not him… Please tell me that isn't him…"

The other man glanced at Rex over her shoulder whose hand found its way to Padme's shoulder once more, squeezing in a silent comfort she couldn't bear to feel right now. After a moment, Obi-wan looked away as if unable to meet her eyes as he delivered the blow. "I'm so sorry…" he said.

So this was hell.

Anakin had tasted its scorching touch more than once in his life, or at least, that was what he had thought before now. After that first beast had clawed its way into Leia's bedroom and tore his sister to pieces, that had felt like the very pit of life, the lowest of lows, until his mother and step-father had rushed into the room. Now, that had felt like hell. Life had never been so blisteringly painful before and it hadn't felt possible to return to such depths for a long time.

What could ever be worse than Leia's bloodied, torn up little body strewn around the room, painting the walls and the stuffed animals on the shelves while his mother screamed her grief into the freezing night air? What could be worse than to be chased from the only home he'd ever known by his step-father brandishing a gun? To know that both he and Shmi lived however long they survived believing he was the monster that night?

Nothing could ever be worse… until it could.

Until Kit came stumbling into the Empire shaking and crying to tell Anakin that Padme was dead. That a beast had killed her just like Leia, that she had died bleeding out on a filthy street surrounded by the people who failed to keep her safe. That she had died thinking Anakin didn't love her and had replaced her with the woman she'd always feared desired it.

Somehow, despite the trauma of the night Leia died, this had felt worse. The blinding agony of believing he had pushed Padme away forever had overwhelmed him more than Anakin had ever thought possible. He had thought the grief he felt for Rex to be the very limit a man could take, that nothing could ever surpass such absolute despair. He was wrong.

The torment of knowing he had sent Padme away had haunted Anakin because they had been happy together even as his desperation to keep her safe had stretched into control over her life. She had loved him. They had a life together which he let fear shatter to irreparable pieces. She had gotten hurt – she could have died because his beast escaped, because he wasn't there to protect her. He had failed her. He wasn't worthy of her. So, he had thrown her from his Empire and life like a coward.

Because, when they could have been happy, when he could have been with her forever, Anakin hadn't been thinking about Padme at all, only himself. His own fears and failures. When he could have been honest with her and talked to her, he hid himself away, throwing himself into killing beasts again and again until thoughts of returning to an empty suite left him.

And then she was dead.

He had killed her by sending her away. By hiding behind his own fear, Anakin had sent the woman he loved to a brutal, painful death and he would never see her again. That had been hell. That had been the worst pain anyone could ever endure, even if she was secretly alive and recovering in a far-off hospital, those shadowed hours had been pure torment.

But again, Anakin had been wrong.

This was hell.

Those first waking moments after the darkness had swallowed him outside the Empire brought had gasping, breathless pain into his world as no wound had ever done before. Every inch of his body seemed to burn, intensifying brutally with even the slightest of movements by him or the shadowy people hovering above him. His arm felt as though someone held it over flames. Their invisible touch chewed at his flesh and seared nerves he hadn't even thought possible.

And Padme was nowhere to be found wherever his frantic, wide-eyed gaze shifted around the room to find her. Was she safe? Was she alive? Were any of his friends alive? Where the hell was he? The confusion ravaged and overwhelmed Anakin to panicked, gasping breaths which never quite filled his straining lungs. Was this place controlled by Palpatine? Where had that snake gone?

Voices shouted in incomprehensible noises above his head as they'd moved, rushing beneath a strange combination of light-dark-light as the moving table he lay on creaked and groaned with the effort of carrying Anakin's weight. The very next thing he had known was the shredding sound of his clothes being torn from his body until only his underwear remained and the sudden, cold bite of handcuffs snapping around his unwounded wrist and ankles, binding Anakin to the metal of the bed.

"I'm sorry," a strange, deep voice from one of the gloomy shadows above had muttered, "I'll do my best to make it quick, son."

And then blinding agony sawed through his arm so viciously, all thought had fled the Imperial leader's mind at once, leaving only a bright white flash before his eyes as a sharpness eating through his flesh. Warm blood flowed upwards and spilled from the new wound, splashing at his stomach and chest as a deep scream tore from his lips.

Anakin's body arched, straining against the handcuffs restricting his movement to fight off whatever was ripping through his arm so relentlessly but every effort was rendered useless, even as he screamed and thrashed, the torment was merciless. This was hell. This was suffering. This was what it felt like to want to die. It was a strange, empty sensation outlined by endless, throbbing agony. He would rather face an endless horde of snarling, ravenous beasts than endure one more second of this.

When the world around him faded to darkness once again, it was a bitter, welcome relief.

"I can't take this," Padme sobbed into her knees as yet another anguished scream bled through the sealed doors before her. "They're killing him!" she cried. As hard as she would try, she feared these sounds would never leave her mind for as long as she lived. When Obi-wan had told her what the doctors had said earlier, she had almost thrown up what little was in her stomach into the dusty, false plant abandoned in the corner.

"They're going to do everything they can," he had said, "He's lost a lot of blood, Padme, and his arm… with multiple bullet wounds, they can't recover it. It's his only chance to live but… they don't have enough anaesthesia for the procedure. Something about supplies and shipments, they said. That's why… well, that's what we're hearing."

Taking his arm away, without the relief of being unconscious, it was too much to even think about much less actually endure. Padme wanted to cry and scream. It was so unfair! No one deserved to go through something so traumatic – no one.

Well, perhaps there was one man. Palpatine. This was all his fault. She hoped he came to know even half of the pain Anakin was feeling right now.

"They're trying to save him," Ahsoka sniffled, "Try to keep that in mind."

Some things were worse than death, she wanted to hiss, but it wasn't the girl's fault. This wasn't easy for any of them to overhear. Even Obi-wan looked pale and distressed from the noises filling their ears and he hated Anakin. Still, Padme wanted to go in there, regardless of how awful it would be, she wanted to be by Anakin's side and comfort him as best she could. No one should have to be alone through something so terrible, but going inside might risk infection and jeopardise his recovery, she knew that. And so, she stayed, even if it was unbearable.

Eventually, Padme had slid down the wall to sit by Ahsoka's side where the girl cried and trembled to hear her friend's suffering. They could get through this. She could be strong enough to wait until the surgery was over to be by her Anakin's side. She wouldn't leave him until he woke up, so he knew he wasn't alone in this strange place after such trauma.

If he wakes up again…

A thousand terrible scenarios flew through Padme's frazzling mind, an endless torture she couldn't drown out even as Obi-wan and Rex began to speak amongst themselves. She saw Anakin bleed out locked away beyond her reach, losing his life in unthinkable agony while all alone in this unfamiliar place. Or infection setting in which swept him away while she was helpless to save him. Or irreparable damage within him which forever altered the man Anakin was. It was unbearable.

Anakin, who was so physical and active, who thrilled in fighting and the quickness of his movements losing part of himself in such an irreversible way? How would he cope? Such loss was frighteningly normal while surviving in a city haunted by creatures who hunted with sharp, snapping teeth but they were free now! This was their beginning and his was a monumental hurdle Padme could barely comprehend.

He would still be the man she knew and loved, a piece of him missing could never change that, but would Anakin see it this way? What was she going to say to make him see he would still be the young, agile person he had been before? To her, the answer was easy and simple, to live, to see the future and build a new life was the only option worth taking but in the decision between amputation and death, it was difficult to predict which choice someone as passionate and utterly volatile as Anakin might choose.

In the old world, things might have been easier if something similar had happened. An unthinkable accident could fall upon anybody in the blink of an eye and forever alter their life regardless of how careful or healthy they were, but there had been options then. Prosthetics for people facing the journey Anakin did to make life easier in place of what had been lost… As wonderful as Caleum sounded, a strong community of people come together to survive and thrive in peace, if they didn't have ready access to something as necessary as pain relief for emergencies, it wasn't likely they had these options to explore.

"I should have gone with him," Padme whimpered into her knees as warm tears wet the filthy denim, "We should have just taken his deal. None of this would have been happening."

As heinous as Palpatine was, his poisonous deal meant Anakin wouldn't be hurt right now. He wouldn't be suffering alone in that room or face a forever altered life if he lived through the recovery. If she hadn't been so adamantly against leaving, he would be safe and alive. They might be somewhere secure and new, somewhere they could put the past behind them forever.

And all of their friends would be dead. Could she ever have lived with that just to keep Anakin safe?

More tears melted into her jeans as the warmness of a small hand stroked her trembling arm soothingly, up and down, up and down. "What deal?" Ahsoka's voice asked quietly, "Anakin's?"

Shaking her head, Padme sniffled and released her knees, lowering her stiff legs to the floor in a slightly burning stretch. They were all far away from the city and Palpatine now, there was no need to hide the terms of the offering he had made she supposed, especially now they had obviously turned their backs on Rush and his father. "Palpatine," the name was poison in her mouth, curling her lips downward at the sour taste. "The day he came to the Empire, he tried to strike a deal with us. He wanted to get Anakin to join his side with offers of a future in whatever he and his followers want to build. He promised safety and security, a position amongst him and his peers… he even offered to save me too just to get Anakin onboard."

"And I suppose a condition of this overtly generous offering was the abandonment of everyone else, Imperials included?" Obi-wan slowly stroked his beard, keen eyes as inquisitive as always. Padme nodded, unable to say the words to confirm the obvious. "I can't say that I'm surprised about that," he shook his head, "What I am surprised about, is Skywalker's resistance. If I were a betting man, I would have placed high odds on his agreement on such an offer."

"Anakin is a lot of things but he would never betray his friends," Ahsoka said passionately, "The Imperials were family to him, he wouldn't turn his back on them."

"Here, here," Rex nodded enthusiastic agreement from where he lingered in the hallway entrance. "The old man could have offered the whole world on a plate and Anakin would have tossed it out the window, right Padme?"

All three gazes turned to her as yet another body quaking shudder tore through her body. Shame swelled within her at her own thoughts and the betrayal of her and Anakin's secret. Maybe she had been wrong to share after all? How would his friends ever forgive him for even considering leaving them to face the inescapable terror of beasts and bombs? They hadn't been in the room, they didn't see how pained he had been, how desperately worried and afraid he was. Like a cornered animal, Anakin had grasped at any means of survival, no matter the cost.

But he wouldn't have gone through with it, even if Padme had been agreeable, she truly believed that. To his very soul, Anakin was a good person, he loved his friends enough to overcome whatever fear he felt in the end. Hadn't he already proven that by not taking Palpatine's deal? Still, it might be difficult to make others feel the same way about things, even she could admit that.

No, Padme decided, this was their chance to change and do better. Things didn't have to be like they were in New York, there could be peace instead of running and hiding and killing every day, why would she risk that now? Then, she had been young and naive about the world, both old and new, she would have thought truth mattered above all else no matter the consequences. That girl was gone and for this parting gift, she was grateful to the beasts and Palpatine because she had come to understand what her heart had always shielded itself from.

Let the past die. It was never coming back. Now, she had to be who she was always meant to be. The frightened girl, the impassioned Rebel, the hopeless romantic, the Imperial Leader… they were gone. It was time to find her future and help her friends do the same, even if it meant rewriting their story.

"Of course," a small, strained smile climbed Padme's lips as she nodded, lifting her head fully, "He never even considered it. I'm sorry I even brought it up… I just never thought this was how things would turn out."

Slowly, Obi-wan gave a shallow nod, sighing as he leant heavily back upon the crusty painted wall. "This hasn't been easy for me to hear and I've wished nothing but death upon him for years… I can't imagine how you must be feeling, Padme. I'm sorry."

Anakin's screams clawed at the inside of her mind, growing only louder if she shut her eyes to wish them away. They're saving his life, she reminded herself, they're doing what they can to save him. "I know," she said at last. Exhaling, Padme climbed to her feet once more and looked upwards toward the ceiling to will away her tears. Crying would do nothing, she needed to distract herself until the doctors were done. "Where is everyone?" She glanced between Ahsoka and Obi-wan, "Do we know who we're missing?" It was inevitable that some had been lost along the way, Palpatine had seen to that personally.

"I…" Obi-wan opened and then closed his mouth, rubbing a hand over his tired face, "I can't speak much for anyone outside of this room. All I know is Mon, Bail and Sabe arrived here safely, thank God, beyond that… well, I haven't had a chance to look around."

Three more of her friends were here and safe, she couldn't believe it! Padme closed her eyes as breathless relief swept through her for a moment. If seven of them had made it here, who knew who else could have managed? Maybe there would be more than she had imagined! Maybe Palpatine's efforts had been in vain after all! "That's amazing," she smiled, "What about Dorme? Who did she ride with?"

Every ounce of colour faded from the former Rebel Leader's face at once and her stomach began to sink. Obi-wan opened his mouth wordlessly and looked to Ahsoka, helpless. The girl only shook her head, avoiding everybody's eyes as she stared stone-faced at the wall opposite her. "Padme," he began quietly, "I… I did everything that I could…"

"No…" A torrid numbness spread throughout Padme's limbs as the tears she had just blinked away returned with a searing vengeance. "No, you can't…" It couldn't be true. She refused to believe it was true! Not Dorme, the most spirited, fun-loving person she had ever met, she couldn't be… It just wasn't possible. "Please," she whimpered, glancing over her shoulder to Rex for reassurance. He would know how to tell Obi-wan he was wrong. They had all thought he was gone once but he was here, he was alive! "Tell him, Rex tell him it's not possible… she's here! We – we just need to find her…"

"I'm sorry," he winced instead, "Padme, I'm so – "

"Stop it!" She cried, shaking her head. "Dorme can't be… She just… She can't!"

Two shaking hands rose to take her shoulders in their grasp, but Padme stepped backwards before Obi-wan could reach her. Hurt danced upon his dejected face for only a moment before his reddening eyes fell to the floor beneath his boots. "Dorme is the reason you and I are standing here right now…" His voice cracked and wavered with every word. "I don't know who went down to let those beasts out… I – I don't know if they were being brave or stupid, but she held them back for as long as she could… She saved us all."

A vague rush of panic spread within Padme as she remembered what little remained of the Empire's glass windows and doorway bursting to glittering shreds as beasts crashed through and into the streets. If Obi-wan and Sabe hadn't gotten the car around the building in time, neither she or Anakin would be alive right now. It hadn't occurred to her that someone had freed them from the basement confines, in the rush of escape, she hadn't thought about it at all. Why would someone do something like that? Who would have sacrificed themselves in such a terrible way to save everyone else?

Exhaling shakily, Padme tried unsuccessfully to keep her face from crumpling all over again. She was supposed to be strong for everyone else now, it was her job to hold herself together not fall apart, but how could she? How could anyone? Dorme was dead. She was never going to see her friend again. Sabe was never going to have her sister in her life again. Her baby would never know her aunt. How was this fair?

"What about Sabe?" She gasped, struggling to pull breath into her quivering lungs, "How is she?"

Padme knew how it felt to lose a sister. The tearing, fragmenting agony of a piece of your heart being cut away forever. Her playmate, her confidant, her very best friend… Even now, years later, she was still crippled whenever Sola came to her mind. For their whole lives, it had been Sabe and Dorme against the world and now one of them was gone just as things were about to get better. Just as they could finally be free of the ghosts of their past, Dorme was snatched away…

Obi-wan closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head yet again. "She… She was asleep when I left her. I haven't heard her say a word since we got out."

"Poor lass," Rex sighed, "It's not easy losing your sibling, I know it more than most. After Cody died, I wasn't the same man for a long time… maybe never was… Just give her time, that's my advice." Was there anyone who hadn't felt the cold touch of death left, Padme wondered? Maybe the people lucky enough to be here, behind Caleum's walls were spared? Maybe this was why they were able to come together rather than turning their backs on each other? She hoped they knew how fortunate they truly were.

"Rex," her dry throat cracked around her friend's name, "Could you go around and find out what you can? See who's here and who isn't?" The sooner they knew, the sooner they could make plans. Anakin would want to know when he was recovered, it would probably be his very first question and Padme wanted to spare him the wait. He'd gone through enough this day already.

"Of course, lass," the New Zealander nodded at once, "Can't say I know many of the Rebels personally but I'll do my best to find out what I can." Reluctance and dread seeped out of every move Rex made as he pushed his shoulder off the doorway despite his agreeable words. It would take a long time to gather any kind of tangible understanding of who had made it this far and it wasn't going to be easy to piece together who hadn't.

As he left, Padme leant her palm against the wall and exhaled deeply, forcing out every morsel of air inside her lungs as she closed her eyes. If someone like Dorme was gone, what did that mean for everyone else? What if more people hadn't made it than she let herself imagine? Who else could have been lost acting out her plans, trusting her to lead them out of danger? Dorme was dead. Anakin hovered between life and death. How much more was Padme supposed to take? How could she stand this guilt? It was all her fault – everything was all her fault.

"Excuse me?" A strange voice tore her mind away from its spiralling voice to find a pale, exhausted doctor hovering in the doorway concealing Anakin's room from them. "It's done," he nodded grimly, tearing a surgical mask from his reddened face and Padme's stomach almost heaved as she took in the large splotches of drying blood staining the blue uniform he wore. "I can't make any promises about recovery for now, but you can go in and be with him for whatever comes next."

The doorway swung closed as Padme took shallow, timid steps into the dim room as though a beast might be waiting around an invisible corner to pounce. Behind the thin, navy curtain drawn all the way closed, a monitor gave a rhythmic, hollow harmony, steady and true, promising the continuous beat of its patient's heart. For now. With every step she took, the distance seemed to grow greater and greater. A cold sweat began to break across her trembling body.

I'm going to be sick… she winced silently, glancing upwards at the wide squares lining the ceiling for comfort. All the things she had seen in this life, the horrors and terrors seemed to pale in comparison to reaching the curtain. Beasts and snarling teeth were of no consequence against Anakin laying in a hospital bed. All those years ago, Padme saw the people she loved most in the world torn to pieces, all the blood and gore and panic forever frozen in pale, widened eyes – how was she going to survive it again?

Her legs began to shake, stilling her in place as all the breath she had fled her body in one gasping pant. She just wanted to be with Anakin, more than anything in the world, but Padme wasn't sure she was strong enough to see him bloodied and torn up as her family had been. What if he never woke up? How could she live with herself knowing their last conversation had been made up of unspoken words and denied longing? He hadn't even been conscious when she told him she still loved him.

Beep… beep… beep…

The monitor continued to fill the silent room with noise she stumbled and wavered. He was just behind the curtain but it felt like worlds away from her reach. Padme wanted to rush to him and run out of this room as fast as her legs could carry her. Anakin was always so strong and vibrant, full of life and zeal. He was powerful and determined. A constant in her life in one way or another. The idea of him hurt and so vulnerable felt almost… wrong. The Imperial leader was infallible, unstoppable, no beast or bullet had ever seemed capable of causing him any real harm before.

And yet she might lose him now. Padme might never see his brilliant blue eyes on her ever again, hear his rare, whooping laughter or see the beauty of his smile.

Gathering her courage in a single deep breath, Padme pushed herself forward and grasped the curtain in her trembling fist before her nerve frayed and betrayed her again. The gauzy material pulled backwards with a sharp, metallic screech quicker than she was prepared for, and there, tucked beneath thin sheets, Anakin was clean and bloodless. His clothes were gone, replaced with a papery hospital gown tied discreetly at the shoulders in little white knots. With his eyes were shut and his breathing so even, he looked like was just sleeping, as if she had slipped into their suite and caught him resting.

He was alive. It didn't matter what the doctor said about guarantees, Anakin was alive before her eyes right now and that was everything. Suddenly, her fear dissipated at once and Padme rushed those final steps toward her former lover, whimpering as hot tears filled her eyes yet again. He was paler than she had ever seen him, but his chest rose and fell steadily and for now, that could be enough. Her Ani was strong. He was going to get through this, she knew he was.

Reaching for him, Padme slipped her hand beneath the scratchy sheet to entwine her fingers with his and found… nothing. She gasped in horror as her reaching hand found only the bed where Anakin's lower arm and hand should be. Somehow, in the worry, she had forgotten for a moment exactly what the doctors had to do to save his life. Her shaking hands carefully dragged the sheet lower on his sleeping body inch by hesitant inch and found bandages mapping every wound the doctors had treated though her watery eyes focussed on the thick dressings surrounding Anakin's elbow, marking the new ending of his arm.

"Oh, Ani," she whispered, brushing sweat-dampened hair free from his face, "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…"

When he woke, it was in a dazed panic. Anakin's arms writhed and fought as if he were still in the city battling off a mass of beasts that had flung themselves upon him. It took the combined strength of three male doctors to hold him down until the shock passed enough to understand there was no danger here. Padme could only watch on in horror as his eyes widened further at each unfamiliar face hovering above his own. She recognised the confusion he felt and the ice-cold fear which filled his every limb. She had gone through it herself and it was terrifying.

Eventually, the young woman forced her dry throat to voice her his name. If he knew she was here, that she was so close by, maybe this would be easier? Maybe he might take the coming news better? Was such a thing even possible? Perhaps not in the same way, but Padme understood exactly what it was to wake and find a piece of you missing. Something of yours taken away so irrevocably and the changes it brought to your body, mind and heart. Even if it saved your life… the damage felt permanent at first.

"Anakin…" She forced her reluctant feet forward again, carefully pushing her way past the doctors so she was the only one in his line of sight, "Ani, it's alright. Everything's alright, I'm here." Her hand slipped beneath the scratchy blanket to thread her fingers through his and squeezed gently. At once, Anakin clung to her, tugging her a half-step closer to the bed so Padme's knees met the mattress. "We're safe now, Ani," she sniffled, "we got out and we're safe."

"Padme…" His voice cracked and the sound, so pitiful and unlike the strong, fearless Imperial Leader she had known, and it tore at her bleeding heart. "Where are we? What's going on? I feel…" Anakin's drowsy eyes shifted, glancing down at himself wearily, "something's… I don't… Something's wrong…"

"Oh, my love," unable to hold herself back, Padme carefully climbed onto the bed beside him, wrapping Anakin in her arms as if this embrace might ward off what had to come next. Maybe it could? Just for a few more moments she could protect him from the pain he was going to feel and she wanted to give him that. No, she needed to spare him as long as possible. "I'm sorry," the words began to tumble from her trembling lips, "I'm so sorry, Anakin."

He was stiff and unsure in her arms, confused and reeling from these last few moments and as Padme forced herself to free him again, sniffling back the tears which wanted to fall onto her cheeks, she looked to the doctors with a shallow nod. They had to tell him. There was no avoiding it any longer. "Padme?" Anakin glanced between her and the doctors who kindly averted their eyes to allow some pretence of privacy. "What're you talking about? What's going on?"

"We had to rush you into surgery the moment you were brought in here," one of the doctors stepped forward, an ageing grey-haired man with deep wrinkles slashing across his forehead. "It was critical, son, and I thought we'd lost you more than once, but you're strong I see." As he spoke, Padme pressed her forehead to Anakin's temple, bracing herself for his sake. She had to be the calm, rational one for him now. The other man's words filled the room, explaining the surgery its consequences and she held Anakin throughout, clung to him as though her touch alone might ease him.

It did not.

The small, choked cry of horror he gave when his wide blue eyes found what had been done pierced Padme to her very soul. Anakin shook his head, silent and disbelieving as he took in what had been lost. "No…" he whispered, "No… I… you can't…" All too quickly, his chest began to heave with shallow, panicked pants as his lungs laboured for air. "I can't – how am I supposed to live like this?!"

"Anakin," Padme lifted her head once again, "They saved your life! You were going to die. They did everything they could to keep you here with us and… Ani, I know how it feels, you know that I do. Your pain is my pain and I'm so, so sorry but you're going to be okay. I promise that you're going to be okay now."

Cold fury bled into his azure eyes as he slowly tore his gaze away from Padme's desperate one. The Imperial leader was quiet, as if numb, as he stared ahead. Beginning to tremble and tense within her loosening grasp. She watched his jaw tighten and then lock as a frightening hardness shadowed his face. She had only seen him this way once before, when they had believed Rex was dead and even then it had frightened her to her core.

The focus of his life in those dark days had been vengeance. Revenge. To tear apart every single beast he came across in his lost friend's name, as if might bring Rex back to them again or make the creatures regret ever sinking their teeth into his body. Of course, the New Zealander had come back to them but what Anakin had lost this time was impossible to return. It could not be undone as badly as she wished it could be. This time, there were no creatures to blame, no danger to throw himself into, no monsters to fight until he could not feel the buckling weight of grief. Here, inside Caleum, they were safe and he would have to feel even if he didn't want to and she was afraid it would tear him apart.

"Ani," Padme opened her dry lips but he shook his head, silencing her coming words without meeting her eye. Silent rage radiated from every inch of Anakin's stiff body in palpable waves which seemed to quiet even the doctors who glanced worriedly at one another. It had taken three of them to pin him down before and now that Anakin was awake, she wasn't sure it would be enough if he leapt up.

"He did this to me…" Anakin hissed, at last, bearing his teeth, "This is all his fault."

Palpatine. The unspoken name poisoned the air between them. Padme hated that he had slipped away to wherever he and his peers were hiding to enjoy their violent victory. He had gotten away with everything. All the death, all the waste and destruction he desired had happened. He won and it killed her to know that father and son were revelling while they were here, wounded and counting their dead. How was it fair? How was it right? Then again, it was long past time Padme accepted there was no right or wrong, fair or unfair in the new world. How many times had it shown her? How much hurt and death did she have to watch before it sunk in?

If people like Palpatine and Rush got to live while Dorme and Roganda died, was this a word she wanted any part in? Padme hated that she did, that even now, after everything, she still wanted to believe there was a chance to be better would come. Her stupid, naive heart clung to its ideals no matter what the world threw her way.

"You're alive, Anakin," she said, carefully turning his chin so that he was forced to look at her, "You're safe and far away from him. He didn't get what he wanted – think about that. He will. It will plague him knowing you're out in the world beyond his grasp."

"I don't care about that," he snapped his face away from her and shrugged off Padme's touch with a fierce glare, "I would have preferred he took me to this – how could you possibly think I wouldn't?"

Padme flinched and shifted an inch or two away from him, her body hovering a breath's space from the edge of the bed. He was just upset. How could he not be? Waking up in a strange place to find out everything he had? Anyone would lose their mind! It was only natural! This didn't stop a veil of warm tears filling her eyes and a small pang of hurt stabbing into her belly, however, though she disguised it with a shake of her head. "You don't mean that. I know you don't."

"You obviously don't know anything then!" Anakin seethed, "If I was really in such bad shape, you should have put a bullet in my head. It would have been a fucking kindness, Padme!" Every word he forced through grit teeth was as brutal as a hand smacking across her cheek or a beast's teeth sinking into her flesh. This wasn't him. Inside her heart, Padme understood it was the shock and the hurt speaking but God, it was difficult to hold herself together. "What am I supposed to do now? Hm? Stay inside all day and hope beasts don't find their way in? It's not like I can fight anymore, is it? You should have known I'd rather die than be a burden!"

Hurt and betrayal coated every venomous word hurtling from Anakin's mouth and every blow was directed at her alone. It was difficult to bear. Padme felt her throat swell shut as her mind scrambled for the right words to make him feel better, to explain how this was for the best. That he could never be a burden regardless of what happened – not to her! She wanted to take care of him, to help him adjust and heal and adapt to this place behind the walls. But none of that left her mouth, only a small, wounded noise which died in the slight space between them,

"Anakin, stop…" Padme managed eventually, "I don't – "

"Get out," he hissed, looking straight ahead to avoid her eyes. "Just go, Padme. I don't want to see you right now."

When she hesitated, one of the other doctors, a dark-skinned man whose eyes were soft and kind as he nodded his agreement. "It might be for the best, miss, just for now."

Utter devastation swelled deep inside of her as she looked at Anakin one last time, so close and yet thousands of miles away from her and that distance only seemed to grow as he ignored her silent plea, turning further away from her as her legs reluctantly slid off the bed.

"I won't be far," Padme whispered, "Okay? I'll be right here if you need me, Ani."

He gave her no answer.

It took seven days to gain any semblance of understanding of who had and hadn't made it into Caleum. The strays no one could account for, their numbers would forever be unknown, their faces anonymous and stories lost to time and yet Padme grieved for them, those people hadn't stood a chance against Palpatine's onslaught. It was difficult to bear, the growing understanding that they could never know exactly what had happened to people who weren't in Caleum. There were so many questions she desperately longed for answers to and would never have.

Dooku wasn't here. Had the older man been taken down by the sudden rush of beasts which escaped the Empire or by Palpatine's man firing bullets recklessly without care for who lived or died? Or had something happened on the road? Had the cars they had gathered failed or suffered some breakage and he had been left behind? Nobody would ever know.

Maul hadn't made it either, though someone swore to have seen the two halves of his tattooed body strewn across the sidewalk in the city, Rex had said. There were other Rebels and Imperials missing, likely dead, though nothing could have prepared her for the New Zealander's large hand trembling as he clasped her shoulder and squeezing so tightly, she was afraid he was going to bruise her. Only the distress upon his tanned face and the tears welling inside his pale eyes had worried her more.

"I… Lass, I don't…" Rex shook his head, "I don't want to say it."

"What's wrong?" Padme covered his hand with her own as his face began to crumple with unspoken grief.

"I've gone through every single room of this place. I've talked to everyone and there's no denying it, as much as I wish there was. Rex shook his head, unwilling to let the words pass his lips as if holding them in would make their truth any less real. Absolute dread curled tight in her stomach as she waited, deadly afraid of what was coming. Hadn't there been enough? Anakin wouldn't see her. His doctors had asked that she keep away from his room for his sake. Her friends were missing or mourning. Sabe hadn't gotten out of her hospital bed in days, not even after she and Obi-wan had gotten to hear the baby's heartbeat. What more could there possibly be?

But there was more. More grief. More pain. More calamitous, overwhelming heartbreak that left Padme unstable on her feet. Rex's lips finally parted and moved, forming words even as the world around Padme faded to a high-pitched ringing sound that drowned everything else out. The very moment she heard Kit's name, her heart sunk and her knees began to quake. Tears pooled in her eyes too quickly to consider blinking away.

It was all she could do to throw herself into her friend's arms and wail long and loudly into his hard chest. Rex held her at once and they wept together in the middle of the hospital hallway without care of who saw or heard. Nothing in the world mattered if Kit was gone. If the very best of them all, the sweetest, kindest man Padme had ever known hadn't made it, then why did they? Why did people who had hurt and used and maimed and killed survived when Kit hadn't?

She was never going to see his warm, bright smile again. Never going to hear him laugh or enjoy stories of his antics in medical school. All Kit had ever wanted was to help people and make the world better and this was how it responded. Why was this world so cruel? It took and took and took but what did it ever give?

She clung to her friend and wept, unleashing every ounce of hurt and frustration these last days had brought and everything they had taken away. Her friends, people she had known in both clans, innocent, kind people who deserved the chance to live. She cried for Anakin. For Sabe. For the baby who would never know its aunt. For Kit's hopes and dreams that would never be.

Finally, Padme felt her shoulders slump when there was nothing more to give. Exhaustion tugged at every part of her body as she gingerly uncurled herself from Rex's body. His own cheeks were damp and shining in the sterile lighting and he would not meet her eye. "We should do something," he grunted, ducking his head to hide how he wiped his eyes. "To say goodbye. They deserve that much I think."

She hadn't been to a funeral in more years than she could count. There was too much death to mourn, too many bodies to bury… It had never occurred to her to plan something to honour who had fallen, not even her own family, Padme realised with a swell of guilt. There had always been too much to do or run from to take such time to mourn, but now, they could stay still. They could breathe and cry and miss who didn't stand with them

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Rex," she nodded, "Let's do it."

It wasn't difficult to convince the others to join Padme and Rex outside the hospital once the sky turned black and stars danced high above. It was cold but not painfully so as the day finally met its end. Somehow, Obi-wan had even managed to talk Sabe into climbing out of bed and her friend stood quiet and distant as the others deftly put together a small, circular pyre. It had been Bail's idea, since there were no bodies to burn or bury, so there would be something tangible to mourn all who had been lost.

Exhaustion left Padme feeling void and empty. These past days had taken everything from her. She had barely slept since waking up inside her room which had been given to someone more needy as the wounded piled in. "They told me there are places for us here," she turned her head to Obi-wan as the red-head came to stand by her side. "Houses, apartments, places that can help people recover and settle in. I think things can be good here."

The high walls of Caleum would keep them safe from whatever beasts still roamed the vastness between here and what had once been New York. The bombs couldn't have gotten every single one of them, after all. Inside this small community, the survivors would be safe and could live, finally, as close to normal as things could ever be again. It was everything she had ever wanted but it all felt too late. Her friends were dead. Anakin would never forgive her for the steps taken to save his life. The city she had loved was gone taking more lives than she could possibly count with it.

"Yes," Obi-wan stroked his beard, "I can see how people would want to settle here and build something for themselves. The temptation is powerful… but I think some of us aren't finished with the outside world quite yet."

Padme frowned and tore her gaze from the growing pyre to look at him. Obi-wan had a child on the way! He more than anyone should desire the quiet peace Caleum offered. "I don't believe what I'm hearing," she shook her head, "You want to leave this place?"

"I can't stay," he sighed, "I feel… I don't like how Palpatine slithered out of the city without consequence for all he's done, and I don't think I can settle down until I face Rush one more time."

"And what good will that do?" She pressed him, "What can possibly come from finding either of them?" A mission like that could only lead to more death. It was madness! This was their chance to enjoy their freedom for the first time since the beasts came crashing into their lives! He could be a father in peace – how could he not want it? "What about Sabe? And the baby?"

"Answers!" He snapped, turning fully to face her as she did the same, "I feel finding Palpatine will lead to truths which have been hidden from us all since the very beginning and I need to know for myself. I can't rest until I do." At her mention of her friend, Obi-wan's bright blue eyes flicked toward the blonde woman as she wrapped her arms around herself for warmth just a few feet away. "Sabe and I have spoken at length on the matter. She wants to come with me. As do Ahsoka, Barriss, Bail and Rex."

"You're not serious!" She couldn't help but raise her voice, attracting some curious glances and raised eyebrows from their friends as they worked. "Obi-wan, you're going to have a baby! You can't raise it from a car! It's not safe!"

"Sabe wants revenge for Dorme. I want answers for my friends and my wife, Padme. We all deserve them! It's been decided already, we're going." He whispered angrily, "I understand why you want to stay, I do… but you cannot exert that onto the rest of us. It's not fair."

Even as she tried to battle it down, tears filled her eyes and blurred the world around her. Finally, when they had all found somewhere safe to settle in, they wanted to leave and hunt down more danger? It just didn't make any sense! Padme could understand the desire for answers, but to put it above all else? How was she supposed to watch them leave never knowing if their paths would ever cross again?

"I'm sorry," she wiped her eyes and looked to the pyre once more. "I wish you wouldn't go."

"I know that," his always steady hand came to rest upon her shoulder, "Part of me wants to ask you to join us, but I think this might be the best place for you now."

Despite swiping them away, more tears filled her eyes at once. Her friends had been the only family she had for a long time, they were her people, her companions and trusted allies, and now she had to build a whole new life without them. It felt impossible. Padme hadn't been on her own for years and even then, there had been eyes on her, protecting her at all times without her knowing. If only she had known true independence was so frightening…

"You're right," she managed to nod, "I have to stay here. I don't have any more fight left in me, Obi-wan… I want… All I've ever wanted is a home and I can have that here. I can have peace." A small laugh tumbled from her mouth even as her tears began to spill onto her cheeks. "I just… I'll really miss you."

"We'll miss you too," he smiled, "But we'll be back. I wouldn't dream of being so selfish as to deny the baby the best auntie in the world."

His words, sweet as they were, sent a ripple of agony tearing through Padme's heart so brutally, the pain almost robbed her of all breath. She had been an auntie once. Ryoo and Pooja's sweet little faces flashed before her mind, their voices singing, their laughter as they played… but none of that was Obi-wan's fault. He was looking to the future so she swallowed her silent grief and forced a smile. "I can't wait to meet the little one."

"I think we're ready!" Rex called from the pyre, drawing both of their attention away and to the others as they stepped backwards from what they had built. Simple and circular, the wood was piled high and surrounded by long grey rocks that Bail, Ahsoka and Barriss had found around the hospital to contain the flames. Of course, it lacked the details funerals of the past had once boasted but it was enough.

"I splashed a little of the car fuel on it, y'know, to make sure it actually burns," Ahsoka said, fiddling with a metal-capped lighter between her long fingers. "Only a little though, I don't want to torch this place down."

"That would be just our luck, I think," Mon gave a rare, small smile as she settled into place between Obi-wan and Bail. Dressed as always in her stark white clothing, the red-head was as out of place as she was ethereal. "Shall we begin?"

The beginning of the end. Soon, after everyone was recovered, people would leave her life and all Padme would have were the memories of their time together, the good, the bad and the terrible. The thought grew heavier and more heartbreaking with every moment and so she pushed it from her mind for now. This wasn't a time to think about herself. It was about Dooku and Maul. Dorme and Kit. Roganda and Aphra. Everyone who hadn't made it outside the city. Everyone who hadn't made it into the new world. Her family. Anakin's little sister. His mother and step-father. Obi-wan and Bail's wives. Mon's lover. Rex's twin brother. All lost but forever remembered.

She watched, heart bleeding, as Obi-wan moved forward with Ahsoka's lighter in hand, flicking the jagged little wheel to spark the small flame to life. "We mourn who does not stand among us tonight, whose lives were stolen or sacrificed so that we could be here. They will be remembered."

Small murmurings of agreement filled the night air and Padme closed her eyes as they began to burn yet again. After a moment, the crackling sound of wood catching fire filled her ears and her shoulders drooped. Again and again the names of all they had lost repeated in her mind, searing themselves forever into her soul.

Kit and Dorme were never coming back. She was never going to see her family again. All of the grief she had pushed away for so long began to unfurl and tear at Padme's heart as she opened her eyes and watched the flame slide across the circular edge of the pyre. By either side of her body, her hands began to shake as gentle sobs escaped her lips for all that had been lost. No one ever said new beginnings could be so painful.

Tonight, despite everything, they all stood as one in their grief. There were no more Rebels or Imperials, only people, survivors of hell who had learned to come together and overcome their bitter histories. It was over, Padme realised with a broken sob, it was all truly over...

A warm hand slid into her own, squeezing tightly as her despair grew to new heights and smoke filled the clean night air. Padme whimpered and squeezed back, grateful for Obi-wan's comfort, though he should be focussing on Sabe, not her. Sabe's bereavement was still so fresh and raw, it was a wonder she could stand on her own two feet tonight at all. Losing Sola had been like losing one half of herself all those years ago, she couldn't imagine how it must feel to lose a twin…

Her head felt stiff and heavy as she tore her reluctant, tearful gaze away from the dance of flames to look at her old friend, sniffling as she did, Padme almost stumbled backwards as she reeled in surprise. Obi-wan had moved from her side to comfort Sabe, closer to Rex. The blonde wept and shook her head against his broad chest, shaking violently as the redhead held her close. The sight might have worsened her own sorrow, doubling the pain if she were not quaking in shock to find Anakin by her side instead. The Imperial leader's eyes did not leave the pyre as it crackled and collapsed into the fire, though his thumb stroked across her hand softly, a small comfort amongst his rippling grief.

"Anakin…" Padme whispered his name, hardly able to speak through the swelling of her throat. "What are you… should you even be out of bed?" His injuries and surgical wounds were still so new – he should be resting to avoid infection not out here! Still, even though they had parted in such terrible conditions last time she saw him, she was hopelessly glad to see him now. Knowing he was so close by but being unable to see him, even while he was suffering had been torture these past few days.

"I'm sorry," his voice was hoarse and thick, a sure sign of his heartbreak. "For how I treated you, Padme. I was out of my mind before… I'm so sorry." At last, he turned his head to look at her and the gleam of tears in his vibrant eyes was fresh distress her heart could hardly bear. Without his usual black coat, Anakin wore only dark jeans and a thick, red sweatshirt, though one arm had been folded and pinned to fit his new measurements and avoid an empty sleeve hanging by his side.

Unable to resist, Padme clung to him, throwing herself into his warm body and laying her head on his chest. Anakin's arm slid around her at once, holding her to him as if the next gentle gust of wind might sweep her far away beyond his reach. "I'm so sorry about Kit," she whimpered, "And Dooku and Maul."

"I'm sorry about your friend Dorme," he said quietly. A moment later, Padme felt his lips against her head and the slight weight of his chin as he lingered in their embrace afterwards. "Rex told me everything… I wish I could have been around to help you deal with all this."

"You have to focus on getting better," Padme watched the fire from the corner of her eye, content within Anakin's cradling arm. "All I want is for you to get better, Ani."

"I will," his voice grew harsh and firm, "I'm going to learn to adjust because if I don't, it means he wins and I can't let that happen. Not after everything he's done."

It wasn't how she would like to think about his recovery, but right now, anything that kept Anakin standing and gave him hope to continue on, Padme was happy to encourage. "I think that this could be a good place, Anakin." She fisted the soft material of his sweatshirt tightly, "The people seem so kind and are happy to welcome whoever wants to join them. I want to stay here." People had chosen to survive here together. They had all come together as one community to build something safe and sustainable to look after one another. It was everything she had ever wanted the Rebels and Imperials to be in the city and now Padme saw it was possible and she could be part of it. Staying here meant rest. It meant life. Staying in place instead of running and hiding all the time. She didn't need answers or vengeance, not like others did, she only wanted roots. "Stay with me," she gently pulled herself free of his embrace to find his gaze. "Stay here with me, Anakin… I want us to be together."

This was a new start for them both. A chance to leave everything else behind and be the quiet, simple people she had longed to be for so long. Hadn't they fought long enough? Killed enough? Obi-wan and the others could hunt Palpatine down, it wasn't their responsibility anymore.

He groaned as if in pain, lifting his remaining hand to gently cup Padme's cheek, stroking his thumb across the soft skin he found there. "I've wanted to hear you say that for so long…" With his eyes sealed closed so tightly, she couldn't see the emotions shining within them and for once, it felt impossible to read his face. "I love you, Padme," Anakin's lips turned upwards for a moment, relishing this moment as - "but I can't stay here."

Rearing back, she felt her eyes widening. The blow of his rejection was a knife thrust through her chest. Her mouth opened and closed as her shattered mind tried to make sense of what just happened. "What…? But – I thought that… You said you wanted a home! You said it! You told me that's what you wanted."

"I know," guilt filled his eyes now as they glanced at the pyre still burning a few feet away. "That is what I wanted and part of me still wants it more than anything, but I can't just live here while Palpatine is out there. I wish I could, but I can't. He can't get away with what he's done."

"Going after him is a death wish!" She hissed, "It's crazy!"

"Maybe it is," Anakin slowly returned his gaze to hers and the calmness within his azure eyes was maddening. "But this is something I have to do. I can feel it in my bones! I have to find him."

How much more was that man going to take from her? Padme wanted to scream. She wanted to cry until her throat burned and her eyes had run dry. Was she truly asking too much to build a new life with the man she loved more? After all of the fighting and trauma and death, she could put all that had happened behind her for good if he stayed. They could be different here, she believed that! Things could be better if only he would try!

Shaking her head as she desperately tried to hold back her tears, Padme desperately hoped the others weren't listening. "I can't do it anymore! I can't live the rest of my life running and fighting, Anakin – I'm so tired."

"I know. I know you are, but – " He reached for her but she lifted her hands so that his searching one couldn't grasp them. He didn't know. He couldn't possibly know, because if he did, he wouldn't have decided to follow Obi-wan into danger yet again. "Think of everything he's taken from us!" Anakin tried again, "We can settle once we've destroyed whatever it is he's building!"

"Anakin…" Her voice cracked on his name as her breath began to grow shallow. "I can't… I can't. Doing this… making this choice… You're going down a path I can't follow!" Devastation tore through every inch of her, rippling through her veins and poisoning her heart from the inside out. Padme shook her head again as hurt flashed across his face. Had he really thought he could convince her to join them? That she might want to spend the rest of her life fighting?

It was as if he didn't know her at all.

"Don't say that," Anakin clenched his jaw, "There'll be other places like this out there, I promise you. We can find somewhere else once – "

"Once what?" Padme batted a tear off her cheek, hating herself for letting it spill over. "Once you've killed him? What about the others? You know he isn't acting alone, Anakin! It's an endless cycle I want nothing to do with."

"Padme," he began but she held up a hand to silence whatever argument he was spinning. What was the point? They were inches apart but worlds away from each other, they always had been. Maybe if he stayed they might have a chance of coming back to each other again but after this? If he left to pursue some mindless hunt for vengeance? It was as if nothing had changed at all.

"No, Anakin, no." Padme wiped her cheeks clean once again her voice growing firm, "You can do whatever you want. It's your choice… but, if you go…" each word was agony to speak but her mind claimed victory over the call of her heart. "I won't wait for you. I can't."

Her blow struck its mark. The crestfallen look which came upon his face was unbearable to see but she held steady. It was here or nothing. She couldn't live her life waiting for his potential return while he threw himself into the hands of untold dangers again and again. Padme couldn't live like that anymore – she didn't have to. The thought of Palpatine and Rush paying for everything they had done was appealing, on some bitter level inside of her she could understand why people wanted to find them but was it worth throwing away this unlikely chance to live? To be and do better? It wasn't, not to Padme. Vengeance was just an excuse for more violence, more spilled blood and even more loss. Living was the very best revenge any of them could wield over Palpatine. Their survival would haunt him and Rush for the rest of their lives, however long they lasted… couldn't that be enough?

Anakin clenched his eyes shut tight and shook his head, as if this decision was true physical agony lashed upon his body. "I know how it feels to want peace." He said. at last, opening his turbulent eyes to find hers, "I want it too, more than you can possibly know – "

"Then why leave?" Padme demanded, lifting her chin to watch his reactions closely, "Doing so, you're giving Palpatine exactly what he wants, Anakin. Don't do this."

He clenched his jaw so tightly, curling his hand into a hard fist as if there were words he wanted to say and words he had to say and the battle within him was vicious. Even in his silence, Padme could tell exactly which side had won in the pained reluctance in his beautiful eyes and fresh tears filled her eyes. As her heart began to fall to pieces, Anakin's hand reached for hers. "I love you, Padme," he said again, "but this is something I have to do."

For a long moment, the only response her body could muster was a shallow, exhausted nod. He was leaving and nothing she could say or do would convince him to stay. The knowledge was a blade piercing through her stomach. It hurt worse than any wound Padme had ever suffered in all her life. Finally, as she blinked away her tears and swallowed down the lump in her throat, brown eyes found blue one last time, each full of longing and regret and a lifetime of unspoken words.

"I hope it's worth it," she said, freeing her fingers from his and stepping away, around Bail and Mon to stand by Rex and Ahsoka instead. At least here, between her friends, it would be a little easier to pretend her tears were still for who they had lost and not the man choosing to leave her behind all over again.

For three weeks, watching her friends gather supplies into their vehicles didn't quite feel real. It was all too easy to pretend every passing day did not bring them closer and closer to separation. Inside the hospital walls, life held no semblance of actual normality as Padme slept on stiff waiting room chairs and the occasional empty bed whenever a kind doctor or nurse found one for her to spend the night while the others recovered.

She spent her days soaking up every moment she could with her friends. Every day saw Sabe grow stronger as the blazing agony of Dorme's death began to fade into a dull ache that would haunt her heart forevermore. The blonde's focus slowly began to shift from everything she had lost to the bright, wonderful future ahead with the life growing inside of her. "It's hope," Sabe said one quiet night as they lay side by side in her bed, squashed and tangled and absolutely at peace in each other's space. Her slim fingers traced over her flat stomach as Padme watched on quietly. "That's what Dorme said… it's hope."

It was easy and it was impossible to avoid Anakin wherever she went. He was strong-willed in every aspect of his life, including his recovery, pushing at the firm boundaries the doctors insisted upon at every turn. Though Padme maintained a careful distance from him, she felt his presence everywhere, walked into rooms to find him whispering with Obi-wan and Bail over maps she didn't care to look at and felt his longing gaze across hallways.

Childishly, something inside her clung to hope that they would change their minds at the last moment and stay. Starting a new life here without the people she had come to know through hell and back felt impossible, like an impending death Padme couldn't find the words to avoid. The days passed all too quickly and sooner than she could bear, cars and trucks were lined up outside the hospital, stocked and ready to leave.

Dressed warmly in a deep green coat one kind nurse had given her, Padme wrapped her arms around herself as her friends tossed the last of their belongings inside their vehicles and slammed the doors shut. Each little bang resounded with a finality that punctured her heart. Her eyes fell shut heavily in a weak attempt to hold back the sheen of tears that had blurred her vision since stepping outside. There was no more denying or pretending this day wouldn't come. The sun had risen and though she wished desperately for the moon and stars again, for one more night, one more hour, it was time to say goodbye.

"I wish there was something I could say to make you come along," the deep warmth of Rex's voice brought a smile tinged with sadness across her stubborn lips despite her best attempts to squash it. Slowly. Padme opened her eyes to find the large man standing before her, guilt shining painfully obvious in his big eyes and something about it only made her smile grow.

"I could say the same about you," she reached for his hand and Rex gave it willingly, "to make you stay here with me." If there were any words, any combination of sounds and letters which might give the New Zealander reason to change his mind and consider everything Caleum had to offer, Padme would say it, again and again until her throat grew raw and dry and no sounds would ever escape it again. "But I know I'm not going to change your mind, am I?"

Shaking his head, Rex smiled softly, mournful as he squeezed her hand. "Sorry, lass…" he said and Padme forced herself to nod even as her heart felt as though it might crack into pieces.

"I know," she sniffled, "I have something for you, actually." Her free hand reached deep into the soft-lined pocket of her coat until the thin, bent and well-loved photograph she had found in Rex's bedroom in the Empire touched her fingers. "I should have given this back to you a while ago, I'm sorry it's taken me so long." With all the stress and planning, the picture had slipped her mind entirely until going through her things last night.

As the photograph passed into his waiting hand, Rex's eyes widened and snapped upwards to find Padme's gaze in utter surprise. "What… But I thought…" a small, amazed laugh tumbled through his parted lips, "I thought I'd lost this…" Slowly, he turned the picture around, taking in the identical image of his brother's face for the first time in weeks. She almost felt guilty to watch as tears filled the New Zealander's eyes and a small sob choked through his throat.

"I found it after you disappeared," Padme stroked his large shoulder gently, "Even though I thought you were gone forever, I wanted to keep it safe for you."

"Thank you," his tearful gaze found hers, "Padme… thank you…"

Shaking her head, Padme's smile grew genuine and bright as she took in this man, this broad, gentle giant of hers, the warrior with a golden heart and the best man she had ever known. "No, thank you, Rex," her voice cracked as emotion began to squeeze her throat closed, "Thank you for being my friend. I don't know what I would have done without you." His kindness had been the balm to her agony in those early days inside the Empire. He and Kit were the only people to welcome her and hold her close in those dark days, often distracting her from the worst of her pain.

Laughing once more, Rex drew Padme into his arms and held her in the warm solidness of his embrace, holding the back of her head as her own arms threw themselves around his neck tightly. Tears slipped from the clenched corners of her eyes and wet the bright blue of his jacket, but they clung to each other as if the world might end when they parted and for her, it was true. These people, these friends she had known and loved were the world she had built and now it was over. Adventure called from beyond but its cries were silent in her ears though everyone else was tempted, she knew her heart needed stability. This new world they had stumbled across was her adventure now.

Eventually, they parted and Padme reached up to stroke Rex's slightly stubbled face with a tearful nod. "I'm going to miss you so much," she said, voice shaking with emotion. "Goodbye, Rex." The words were agony on her trembling lips but once free in the air between them, they did not feel as final as she feared they would.

"I'll be back, lass," his large hand squeezed her shoulder for a moment before he reached down for the backpack which lay by his feet, slinging it over his shoulder with ease. "Sooner than you think I'm sure."

With one final embrace, the New Zealander turned away, stiff as if the movement pained him, and made toward the first truck and climbed inside and wait for his passengers to join. Padme forced a deep breath of the frigid air into her unwilling lungs and held a hand over her stomach as the grief made her body tremble. When Ahsoka and Barriss came to her it was easier to force a smile for the girls' sake and wish them well. They were young with a world to conquer after all. Their excitement and love were palpable as Padme squeezed their hands tightly and whispered her quiet thanks for everything they had done. Ahsoka's quick thinking and skills were the only reason she was alive to see this day. Padme would never forget it.

"I'll visit all the time!" Sabe wept as she tossed her arms around Padme's neck so tightly, breathing felt impossible and yet she held her friend just as tightly. "I mean it. I'll be here so often, you'll be sick of me."

"You had better be," she forced herself to laugh as they parted, lifting a hand to wipe away the tears marring Sabe's delicate face with the pad of her thumb, "I want to see this little one as much as I can." Her eyes flitted downwards to the flatness of her friend's stomach for a moment as her smile softened to imagine what she and Obi-wan's baby would be like one day. Curious and pensive as its father or bold and enthusiastic like its mother? She would know one day, she was sure.

"Oh, believe me, you will," Sabe sniffled, softly rubbing her hands up and down Padme's upper arms. "Who else is going to babysit when I've gone mad from lack of sleep?"

"My door is always open," she said and meant it with her whole heart. Wherever that door would be, it would forever be unlocked to her friends and the people who had survived hell by her side. If it meant they had a reason to return alive, Padme would be waiting with open arms. After a moment, Obi-wan appeared by Sabe's side, gently placing a hand on her slim shoulder as they exchanged a silent glance.

"Everything is ready," he said gruffly as his piercing blue eyes lifted to find Padme's gaze. "It's not too late to change your mind, you know. We'll all be more than happy to wait if you want to gather your things."

Would every goodbye have an invitation hidden within it? Padme gave a small laugh and shook her head. Her decision had been made from the moment she woke up here and nothing would change it, though part of her heart wished that it might. "Be careful out there," she said to them both, glancing between them. After a moment, she added, "I hope you all find whatever it is you're looking for."

"We will," Obi-wan nodded at once, "and you will be in our thoughts as we do."

"Thank you," Padme smiled and felt her eyes fill once more. How was she supposed to say goodbye to his man who saved her from the dark streets and danger around every corner? Despite his reasons, Obi-wan had taken her in and given her the first home she had since her family were killed. He was the reason she knew who and what she did. They had fought and resented the decisions the other had made, but that had never changed the absolute love they felt. He was her friend, her first friend and she owed him everything.

Sensing her coming goodbye, Obi-wan shook his head to silence the words Padme was crafting within her throat before her lips could part. "None of that," he smiled, "goodbyes are final and we will be in each other's lives for a long time, Padme."

An unexpected bluster of laughter tore from her lips and she could only nod her agreement for a moment. Of course, he wished to avoid the raw emotiveness of a real goodbye, she should have known. It wasn't easy to swallow down everything she wished to tell him, after all, the risk of never seeing him again was a dark shadow looming over their conversation he didn't wish to acknowledge, but for him, Padme managed to silence her devastation and smiled as though she felt nothing at all.

"Well then, take care and I'll see you both soon."

Nodding, Obi-wan gently grasped Sabe's hand and led her toward the silver car to the left of the grouping and though neither looked back over their shoulder as they climbed inside, Padme was not hurt as she watched them prepare to leave. They would come back, she knew it with all of her heart and soul, they would be here again. Obi-wan would keep his word and they would stay in each other's lives.

For a few moments, Padme sniffled as she worked to regain her composure, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand as the dull ache in her heart seemed to grow worse every second. It was all so real now. People were inside their cars and ready to leave her behind and she could only stand by and watch, glad of her decision and heartbroken all the same.

"Padme…" An achingly familiar voice tore at her all over again and she braced herself as she turned to find Anakin behind her. They hadn't spoken since the night of the funeral and though it had felt easier then, she wished they were more mature about it now. Dressed in his usual uniform of black jeans and a simple black t-shirt, though without his coat, he was distressingly handsome even as she wished it wasn't true. For a moment, her eyes took in the new length of his arm, free of bandages and dressings now, before their gazes met.

His mouth opened and then closed again, wanting to speak but there was too much that needed to be said between them. They could stand here for a hundred years and still have more to share Padme took a step closer to him, an all too willing moth to the flame of him and Anakin did the same, closing the space between them. "You look better," she said, breaking the tense silence between them. The colour had returned to his face fully and the dark circles beneath his eyes had faded as he began to settle into this new chapter of his life.

"I feel better," Anakin nodded, swallowing as he glanced off to the side, grimacing as words failed him when he needed them most. "There's so much I want to say to you," he gave a choked, bitter laugh, "I don't even know where to begin."

"Me neither," she shook her head. A thousand apologies and declarations and pleading words came to mind and faded away just as quickly. Nothing felt quite right. No words were momentous enough to capture the fullness of her feelings for him. "I just… I'm sorry," Padme whimpered, swatting the wetness from her cheeks as her breath began to tremble. "After everything… Well, I guess I just never thought I would really be saying goodbye to you."

"Padme…" he said her name so softy reverently, as if the syllables were something holy on his tongue. Anakin reached for her, his large hand gentle on her body as he pulled her toward him, cupping the nape of her neck and bent to lean their foreheads together. "You are the only woman I've ever loved… the only one I think I'll ever love."

"Anakin…" she muttered, frowning as she began to pull away from him, but he held firm, fisting his hand into her hair carefully to ensure Padme couldn't leave his embrace quite yet. Saying these things was only going to make it more difficult to leave. Why torture themselves further? No matter what they said, he was still going to get into a car and leave her behind – so what was the point of making it worse?

"Listen," he hissed gently, "please…" When her body relented after a moment, laying her shaking palms against his broad chest, "I'm not saying this to ask you to come with me. I know you won't and that's alright." Padme watched as his eyes fell shut, breathing her in and relishing in their rare closeness for as long as he could. "I just want you to know… you made me who I am today. A better man. A stronger man… Strong enough to let you go." His voice thickened and cracked as he spoke and this time, when she urged herself back, Anakin lifted his forehead to meet her eyes. "I want you to have everything you want, Padme… I just… I see now I can't give it to you."

How could these words carry such truth and yet cause such terrible pain inside her? Padme fisted his shirt and gasped a small sob, wishing with her whole soul things could be different. Fate had brought her to Caleum, it was where she belonged now, but destiny had other plans for him now. "I wish you could stay," she whispered.

"So do I," he said truthfully, "but I can't."

"I know," she nodded, laying her cheek upon his chest for a moment and they held each other desperately, neither wishing to be the one who parted from the other. "I love you, Anakin," Padme whispered though no one was near enough to hear their words, "I don't think that I'll ever stop."

"Your life would be easier if you did," his arm clung tighter around her waist, holding every inch of Padme's body against his own as if she might disappear before his eyes if he slacked even a little. For a moment, she imagined a world where they had only known each other as enemies, as people on opposite sides who only glimpsed each other across streets and through hoards of beasts. People who shared memories of school halls, ringing bells and shouting against lockers, people who knew each other in different lives before everything had been stolen from them. If she had never known the good in his heart, the fierce protectiveness he felt for his friends, the touch of his hands on her body, his lips on hers… She imagined it all behind closed eyes.

"That's true," Padme said at last as a small, sad smile curled her lips against his chest. "But it wouldn't be my life without you in it."

Lifting her head, their eyes found each other and spoke what their mouths could not. Regrets and gratitude, love and yearning, the silence spoke of it all with a power which made her tremble. As if unable to resist a mere second more, Anakin bent at the neck once more, capturing her lips in a fierce, devouring kiss that swallowed away her gasping breath. Throwing her arms around his neck, Padme clung to him possessively, weeping silently as he cupped the back of her head, savagely plundering her soft mouth as if to burn the memory of her taste into his mind forevermore.

When at last they parted, their noses slid against each other affectionately, and Anakin gave a small, shallow nod, steeling himself for what came next. "You will see me again, I promise you."

"Good," Padme forced herself to nod and smile for his sake, despite the aching sense of loss tearing at every inch of her, "because as a parting gift I've decided not to lecture you about playing nice with the others. But I still want to hear about your progress eventually."

A genuine and surprised laugh left his mouth as Anakin glanced upwards to the bright blue sky. "Thank God," he sniggered, "that's the best present I've ever been given."

Suddenly, she could hold her false smile no longer and the tears gleamed in her eyes without control. It was agony to not know when their paths might cross again, if ever, despite what he promised. Padme loved Anakin Skywalker with her whole heart and now she had to watch him leave her behind. With a small smile, Anakin stole her lips once more with a hungry, deeply loving kiss which tasted as bittersweet as their words. He held her face with his remaining hand while she stroked her own through his hair, revelling in the softness of the curls she loved so much.

At last, Padme and Anakin buried the immense hurt they had dealt upon each other and the immense loneliness at losing what had been theirs in this final, slow caress of their lips. Finally, the past was truly behind them once and for all.

Their parting was slow and definite. Padme opened her eyes to take him in and as she smiled, she did not have to force her lips upwards this time. "Take care of yourself out there. I would ask you not to do anything crazy, but I know you too well." He laughed gently at her words, bowing his head in acknowledgement of the truth within them, and the sound was a delight to her ears despite everything.

"I'll be alright," he said, smirking because only her Ani would ever thrill in untold danger in an unexplored world. Some things would never change. "Be happy here, Padme. I want that for you."

She wanted to thank him or kiss him or beg him to stay here and be happy with her… but she did none of that. Instead, Padme slowly slid her arms free of him and stepped away, even as her heart tore in two at the action. It was time for him to go, people were waiting for him, and there was nothing else to say. No way to make this any less devastating for either of them. Her smile grew for a moment, utterly fond and nostalgic for all that had passed since he came back into her life.

"Until we meet again, Anakin Skywalker."

He nodded, understanding her as always without need for words and smiled. "I'll see you soon, Naberrie."

Padme watched as he made his way to the truck where Rex, Ahsoka and Barriss waited, climbing into the passenger seat beside Rex and bit her lip as the engine roared to life, inspiring the others to do the same. One by one cars reversed and turned beginning their new journeys into a world beyond the city they had known and Caleum, throwing up dust and grime behind them. She watched as they began to disappear around the corner, free of her sight, focusing on the cars her friends had climbed into until they were gone.

She stood in the silence of their wake and closed her eyes, letting tears fall for one piercing moment of grief and then no more. The time for sadness was over. Now she had other things to think about. Opening her eyes, Padme turned around to take in her new home and began to walk toward the little town which lived behind the hospital to start her new life.

A/N: Just one more chapter to go! I can't believe this story is almost over, I've been working on it for so long! I promise everyone will be very satisfied with the ending.