The Problem With Print Scanners
"So you put your hand here, like so and – "
"Systems deactivated. Welcome home, Scott Summers."
" – easy as that. Security deactivated, gates open, and you're okay to walk to the mansion."
"Okay," Evan, the newest member at the institute, acknowledged.
"Ugh," uttered a passing Kitty, "don't you believe it."
"What does she mean?" Evan asked Scott as Kitty disappeared inside the grounds (taking advantage of Scott's authorized entry).
"Nothing," Scott waved his hand dismissively. "Kitty doesn't get on with this device."
"I don't think any of us get on with that machine," Logan grunted as he appeared wheeling a dismantled motorcycle towards the mansion.
Evan stared.
"Oh, you'll get used to that," Scott told him, watching Logan walk past the gates, leaving a trail of metallic parts from the motorcycle. The gates closed a second later, followed by a rather loud "Shit!" from Logan.
Scott turned back to Evan as the sounds of electrical humming surfaced from the grounds. "Yeah, er, there's a certain time frame before the gates close and the system reactivates itself." BOOM. RATATATATATA. "We're working on that to make it longer than one and a half minutes."
In the background, a deep voice cried, "Arrrgh! Fucking hell!"
Evan began to shake. "Scott – that guy's being shot!"
Scott waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, he'll live. Now, let's register your handprint with this thing. Place you hand there." Pause. "Evaaan? Stop watching the bloodshed and put your hand here."
"I've never seen so much blood," Evan breathed in awe and terror, eyes wide as he watched the Institute grounds become a pot-holed wasteland.
"Well if you stay here you'll make up for what you missed in your life, now put your hand on the panel."
Evan did so quickly, in the hopes he could deactivate the bloodthirsty weapons and perhaps save part of the remaining Logan.
"AGH yer bastards! Take that!" SNIKT.
"Prints saved, please enter name." The machine spoke in that feminine voice.
Evan took his hand away as a pleased Scott typed in Evan's name. The machine beeped.
"Please place hand on panel," she droned.
Scott motioned for Evan to do so as a shower of earth exploded and rained over the wall. Scott dusted himself off.
BAMF
"Hey, Scott, guess vhat – " Kurt appeared in a cloud of smoke, decked in holowatch form.
"Argh!" Evan started.
"AGH!" Kurt jumped back.
"ARGH, shit!" Logan bellowed in the background.
"You just appeared outta thin air!" Evan exclaimed.
"You just scared me," Kurt muttered, holding his chest.
"Yeah, the Professor told you about everyone's power didn't he?" Scott asked. Before Evan could answer he added, "If you put your hand on –"
"You're German!" Evan observed.
"You're bright," Kurt rolled his eyes. "Vhat's going on in zhere?" He heard the turmoil on the other side of the wall.
"Dude, you can rescue that guy!" Evan pointed to the wall.
Kurt leaned over and took a look at the grounds. "Are you crazy! I'm not going in zhere!"
"Gaaahhh!" Logan yelped.
"Evan, if you'd just –" Scott began.
"Aren't any of you people worried about him!" Evan stared at them.
Scott and Kurt stared. Scott sighed. "Look, just put your hand there," he told the youngest, jerking his head at the wall device.
Evan slammed his hand onto the panel, and the machine uttered its usual message.
"Systems deactivated, welcome home, Evan Denorls."
Spyke raised an eyebrow. Scott looked innocent, and Kurt watched the other side of the gates.
"I hope you'll –" Evan started.
"I'll change it," Scott finished, nodding. "Another time." They started walking past the gates and into the grounds. "What is it you wanted to tell me, Kurt?" Scott asked, avoiding a crater in the floor.
Kurt opened his mouth but Xavier rolled up to them from the mansion, looking cross.
"Scott, I've only just filled in the garden," he scolded, "look at the mess."
They did so. Smoking trees, burnt bushes, holes and bunkers in the grass was what remained.
"If wasn't my fault, blame Logan," Scott huffed. "He set off the alarms."
"Yes, well," Professor X continued, "be that as it may, you took too long deactivating them. You could have saved at least half the Institute grounds." He paused and looked at Evan. "We usually have a very pretty garden, you aunt takes care of it. Did you get your hand print registered with the scanner?"
Evan, looking wide-eyed at the mayhem around them, nodded slowly.
"Good, now let us return inside before the security resets."
A mere blur replaced Evan as he shot inside at speeds Pietro would be impressed by.
"So what did you wanna say?" Scott asked his blue friend again as they started walking again, passing the smoldering body of Logan.
"I found out vhat zhat vord means, zhat every von keeps saying," Kurt announced proudly.
"What word is that, Kurt?" Professor X asked with a smile, pleased his foreign student was learning.
"Anozher meaning for Damn: Shit!" Kurt recited with a grin, oblivious to its offensive manner.
Professor X choked.
"I've heard it so many times recently, but I've never heard it before."
Scott's face twisted like the expression of one who knows he was in deep shit.
"I wonder where he learnt that," Xavier turned deliberately to glare at Scott, who had his fist in his mouth and was staring at the sky.
"I vonder how many more new vords I vill learn," Kurt thought aloud.
"Not very many, I foresee," Professor X said meaningfully.
"Shit, zhis ground is dangerous," the elf said.
"Kurt!" Xavier turned to glare. "I forbid you to say that word aga – aaargh!" His chair toppled over into a crater-sized hole.
Scott took the opportunity to leg it safely away.