"Hey man, thanks for the ride."
"You sure you don't want some company?"
"Yeah mate, Colin and I are good at wallowing!" Finn threw in.
"No, you are good at drinking and Colin is not anywhere near your league. And no thank you." Logan faked a smile and laugh.
"Suit yourself mate."
"Give us a call if you need anything." Colin said seriously.
"Thanks guys." Logan called as he walked slowly to the front door of his building. He greeted the door man softly and took the elevator to his floor. It hurt just getting off the elevator and stepping into the hallway. He walked down the hall and it took all he had to get his key in lock and open the door.
He took a deep breath and tried to accept the fact that he would be stepping into his new life.
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He walked through the door and was immediately met by the empty wall at the end of the short hallway. The wall use to hold two beautifully framed photos, the first that sat on the left was the one of The Jump. He had seen the picture on her computer one day and had it blown up and framed within an hour of getting the idea. She had been surprised when she got home, but had appreciated it; it made her feel more at home. The second she had put up recently, it was a goofy picture of the two at her Felon Party. They were laughing and so happy.
Logan's stomach turned slightly at the memory of how happy they had been. He stared for a little bit longer before braving the rest of the apartment.
The kitchen is where he ended up next. He grimaced as the faint smell of coffee met his nose. He wondered instantly how long he would be burdened with that smell lingering in his apartment. He noticed almost immediately that his coffee maker was gone; he had known it would be though. Logan remembered the day that she had first seen it, she had complained profusely about the Coffee Gods.
"But Logan, this coffee maker is obviously not intended for the sporadic coffee drinker such as yourself. This coffee maker was put on this Earth to be used frequently be a coffee aficionado, such as myself. You are being unfair to the poor machine by keeping it in this forlorn apartment only to be used every once in a while." Rory had said dramatically.
"It's only a coffeemaker Rory." He said baiting her.
"Only a coffeemaker? Logan, this is the machine that makes the coffee!" She said incredulously.
"Hence the name: coffeemaker." He joked.
"Logan, without the making of coffee I stop doing the walking and words putting into sentence doing." She said dramatically remembering that her mother had used that excuse before.
Tell ya what, I'll get you one too." He said pulling her to his body.
"That's all I'm asking." She answered happily, planting a kiss on his lips.
He had never bought her her own. She had moved in shortly after that, he hadn't had time. Logan sighed softly, the tears welling up in his eyes. She was everywhere in this apartment, and so far he had barely even entered.
He threw his coat on the counter and opened the fridge, looking for a beer. She had cleaned out all of the old take-out containers and took her beer with her. This was her domain, and there was nothing of hers left in it. All that was left were the foods she had bought for him, and a leftover pizza from lunch yesterday. This is where the first tear fell as he realized just how much she had extracted herself from his life. He quickly wiped the tear from his face and continued on.
He walked towards the living room, noticing that all the pictures she had brought, and the majority of the ones they had put up together, were gone. He stopped at the shelf by the pool table, under the window. She had left one there, it was from her twenty-first birthday party.
"My mother came." She said happily, her smile reaching from ear to ear.
"She said she would." Logan reminded her.
"But, I didn't think she would, I didn't think she'd want to." She said, her smile faltering.
"Why wouldn't she want to. You invited her yourself. You heard her say she was coming. She obviously wanted to and more than likely missed you. You are very missable!" Logan teased.
"We are on our way back!" She said giddily.
"Yes you are, you'll be together in no time." He smiled back.
She had pulled him in and kissed him hard on the lips, and that was when the flash of the camera went off. He knew she had a copy of this picture back at Lorelai's house, and that was probably why he still had a copy. He was glad she left it, but right now, it was just too hard for him to look at. He wanted so desperately to go back to that, to being that happy, but knew he had fucked it up royally this time.
He walked into the living room, and sat on the couch. He was about to turn on the TV when he noticed how different this room looked now. It just seemed empty without her books strewn over the coffee and end tables. The picture of her and Lorelai had been taken off the wall, and the picture of her with Lorelai and Luke at her graduation had disappeared from the end table.
A box off to the side caught his attention; he stood to look in it. It was full of her DVDs and the two pictures he had just noticed were missing. 'This one must have been too heavy.' He thought as he looked around the room more.
The books she always kept on the pool table were now gone, as was just about every other reminder of her. There were two pictures left of her in the apartment, ones she had copies of somewhere. He knew that the few pictures he had of them she had loved, he was surprised she hadn't take them before she had moved in. And now he wanted them back so badly, he just needed a tangible reminder of her. He fingered the picture of them Lorelai had taken at the Vineyard, remembering just how happy they had been before Mitchum showed up. He was now having a hard time keeping himself from both throwing up all over and crying uncontrollably, but he managed.
He took a deep breath and headed towards the bedroom, no longer the bedroom he shared with someone, but his bedroom where he would now sleep alone. He stood in front of the door for close to fifteen minutes trying to will himself in. Finally, he turned slightly and he leaned his back against the wall next to the door realizing he couldn't go in there. This was their bedroom, not his alone. He knew the pillow and sheets would still smell like her. He loved how she always smelled like coffee and French fries, no matter what she tried to cover it with. He knew the memories they had made would overwhelm him once he stepped inside that room. He couldn't bring himself to go in knowing that he had pushed her so far away. So he did the only thing he could do. He let himself slide to the ground as the tears poured from his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried, but here he was crying over a girl.
No, she wasn't just any girl, she was the girl. She was the first girl he had met that had no interest in him. She was the first girl he had met that didn't want anything from him. She was the first girl that he had met that had challenged him. She was the first girl that didn't give a damn about his money. She was the first girl he had actually let into his world. She was the first girl he had let become friends with his friends. She was the first girl that had ever calmed him enough to get him to enter a relationship. She was the first girl that ever told him she loved him and had truly meant it. She was the first girl he had ever loved, and the first girl he had told and had, in fact, meant it. She was the first girl that had left him heartbroken when they had broken up. She was the first girl that the next day rebounds had made him sick to his stomach. She was the first girl that he had had to work so hard to get back. She was the first girl that made him feel imperative when it came to so many things. She was the first girl he didn't mind helping out and got mad at if she refused to ask for his help. She was the first girl he had brought home to his family. She was the first girl he didn't get sick of. She was the first girl he had so much fun with. She was the first and only girl he could see himself marrying. She was the first girl that had left him sitting heartbroken on the floor crying, and she was the first girl he had pushed away because he was scared.
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