Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation Murakami-san does.

Yoku Dekimashita

Sensei always thought I was a good student. Even when I got the answers wrong he would still praise me and remind me that I was only begining to learn English. He always told me not to rush into something. That's why I loved sensei. He was so cool..so laid back and care-free. I wish I could be like that.

It's same way with Touma-san. He always knows what he's doing and always keeps his cool..well most of the time anyway. Even now I try to learn English. Even if sensei's gone. I feel like I owe it to him. Like it's the very least I can do.

I would commit suicide, but then I hear Touma-san crying for my safety in his sleep and I start to worry about what would happen to him. Before I even know it all thoughts of suicide are pushed out of my mind. At least...for now.

You'd think I would be angry that Onii-san hired Kitazawa-sensei, but I'm not. In fact, I'm quite glad because if he didn't I would have never shared all of the good times with sensei. I know Touma-san wants to be strong for me, but I don't think he should have to. I need to be strong on my own, but when I try to forget about him I just end up lying in bed feeling empty and cold. I don't want to feel that way and I don't want to forget Kitazawa-sensei. It's very selfish of me and I'm so disgusted with myself that I can't even look in the mirror.

Every english word I see, hear, or speak reminds me of sensei. Touma-san only speaks Japanese around me now. It doesn't make a difference. As long as I'm in New York I will continue to be tortured by the memories. That's why I've made a decision I'm afraid Onii-san won't like. I want to go back to Nippon. It sounds weird saying that now. I swore that I would never go back. I guess this justifies the english saying that is "Never say never."

Yoku dekimashita. I've done a great job on destoying the lives of the people around me. Aren't you proud of me sensei?

Sensei?

Owari

Author's Notes: That was a little abstract. Am I the only one that feels something's missing?