Megan39 I am glad you are enjoying this story. You are right about emotions running wild. I will be continuing this story, if it comes to a point where I can't I will let every one here know. I do hope I can finish it. Thank you for your support it is much appreciated.

Chapter 41

Bella jumped awake when she felt her hair being moved.

"Shh, it's only me." A deep voice soothed. A large warm hand gently stroked her back "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"Jake?" She sniffled. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to pick up an art project. It's due today." he explained. "So," He gestured to her in his bed. "Did you miss me already?"

"I had a bad night."

He smiled sympathetically. "You could always call me, at any time."

She was surprised she hadn't realized it sooner. "I don't have my phone, I left it in Alice's room."

"I'll take care of it after school, for now you get some more rest."

He leaned down and kissed the side of her head while tucking the blanket around her shoulder. Pretending to not hear the door close behind him. She fell into a more peaceful sleep.

Waking up again some time later, better rested yet still exhausted, Bella just wanted to stay in the bed hiding away from the world. She burrowed deeper into the blankets and groaned. She knew she couldn't stay there much longer. Just the thought of facing the day had tears burning her eyes, but she pushed herself to get up. Her skin crawled with unease. Instead of giving up she pushed herself harder. By the time she got to the bedroom door her limbs felt weak.

She wanted to turn back, but couldn't. It might make Charlie angry again, maybe he was still mad. She didn't know but she didn't want to make things worse.

Taking a deep breath in, she tried to sturdy her nerves. Forcing her legs to move forward, she slowly made her way up the stairs. Looking around the kitchen, memories flashed through her head. Still shaken from what happened, she was unable to go much further. Dragging herself to the living room she fell onto the couch, curled up in a ball and layed there until she heard Charlie.

He told her to go get dressed. If only he knew how much energy it took her to get to where she was.

Clenching her fist she forced herself to move. Not bothering to change, she just threw on a pair of sweatpants and sneakers. Then made her way back down the stairs.

Charlie looked at her, opened his mouth to say something and then shook his head. "Let's go, we're late." He headed out the door not even bothering to wait for her.

They drove to the hospital in a tense silence. Charlie held the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned bone white. Bella tangled her fingers in the hem of Jake's shirt, pulling the fabric tighter with each anxiety inducing thought that ran through her head.

After yesterday's meeting with the doctor. Bella knew she wouldn't be able to sit in that office while being forced to talk about Edward. She felt like she needed an escape, somehow she had to figure a way out of this appointment.

She started to grow dizzy. Gasping, she realized she was having trouble catching her breath. This only made her panic more.

"Damit," Charlie's voice echoed like she was under water hearing it. "I forgot to give you those pills."

She hadn't realized the car had stopped. Charlie was pulling her out the passenger side door. The cooled air pushed the breath back into her.

"No, No, I don't want to go. Just let me go back home. I don't want to talk. I just want to go home."

"Bells you have to go. This has to get better." Charlie didn't sound angry, he sounded desperate and as panicked as she felt.

"Please." She begged.

Charlie wrapped her in a tight hug. "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry." He cried into her hair.

Once he calmed down he guided Bella into the Hospital.

"Chief Swan." Dr. Scott Greeted. "You are a half hour late."

"Yeah, I-"

Before he could say anything else The doctor said. "It's a good thing my one o'clock canceled. There is plenty of time for both of your appointments."

"Wonderful." Charlie grumbled.

Ignoring his displeasure dr. Scott turned to Bella. "Hello Bella, how are you feeling today?"

Bella shook her head trying to back away. Charlie's hand firmly planted on her back held her in place. "She had another one of those episodes." Charlie notified the doctor.

"That's expected." She reassured him. "Did the medication help at all?"

Charlie looked sheepish. "I forgot to give it to her."

"That's alright." She told Charlie, then to Bella she said. "How about we go sit in my office and you have a drink?"

Bella tried again to pull away. "Bella, I am just asking you to come in and sit down right now, nothing else, okay." said soothingly.

Seeing no way out of this Bella agreed. Sitting in the same spot as she did the day before Bella took the drink she was offered.

Focusing on the cup she held her breath waiting on the inevitable questions.

Clearing her throat the doctor said. "Your father tells me you have only been living with him for a little over a year."

Bella waited for more, when it didn't come, she nodded.

"Before that, where did you live?"

"Phoenix." She kept her body tense as she answered.

"Arizona," Dr Scott smiled. "I hear that the most beautiful sunsets are there. Did you like living there?"

Bella shrugged.

"How old were you when you moved away from Forks?"

Bella stared at her. Why was she asking these questions that had nothing to do with what happened? Shrugging again Bella answered. "Six months, I think."

"Tell me about your mom. What does she do?"

"Why?" Bella asked.

"Because I don't know her. Your dad is a Police officer, whom I know pretty well, but I never met anyone he has dated. I would like to know what kind of woman grabs Charlie Swan's attention."

"Why? Do you want to date him?" There was no sarcasm or malice in Bella's tone.

Dr. Scott laughed, "No, I doubt my wife would like the Idea of me dating someone else."

"Oh," Bella said. She thought for a moment. If she filled up her time talking about Renee and Charlie she wouldn't have to talk about... other things. Looking back down at her cup she began.

"My parents were very young when they met. Mom was only eighteen. Dad was twenty one. The way mom tells it, it was a magical day.

She was just passing through on a road trip with friends when they met. She's a hopeless romantic. Meeting Char- dad was kismet. He was sweet, kind and funny, but he was also serious and responsible. He wasn't like any other man, or boy she had dated but she found herself drawn to him.

The day turned to night before they knew it. Soon mom had to leave with her friends. They were driving through the nights hoping they would hit less traffic. She promised to come back and see him on the drive home.

The rest of the trip, she couldn't stop thinking about him. When they circled back she went straight to my dad. It wasn't hard for him to convince her to stay a little longer.

She was in love with being in love. Happier than she could ever remember being. Then dad asked her to marry him. It was the perfect whirlwind romance.

At first she enjoyed being married, she saw it as an adventure. She loved decorating their home, and dad was easier to live with than her mother. He adored her.

She also loved his parents. Soon after they were married she got a waitress job at the diner. Meeting new people through her job was another adventure in itself. When she found out she was pregnant with me she had reached the peak of her happiness.

After I was born she was stuck with too much responsibility. Not only did she have to take care of me, but she also started taking care of dad's parents. The constant cloud cover here started to make her depressed. Dad was working more and she felt like all the romance was drained from their relationship.

Feeling like she was suffocating, mom filed for devorce and moved us back to California. We lived with her mother while she went back to school. She received a degree in early childhood development. She teaches pre-k and kindergarten.

When I was five grams, mom's mother died. After the funeral mom packed us up and moved us away from California never to look back."

"Did you live with your grandmother the whole time you were there?"

"No, but we always lived close to her."

"How many times did you move while you lived in California?"

"Three, that I can remember."

"That's a lot of moving for someone so small. Did you handle it well?"

Shrugging Bella answered. "I guess. We never sat still for long. Mom would start to feel stifled and we would have to move."

"It sounds like you continued to move a lot."

Bella nodded her head.

"Did your mom have trouble finding work moving around like that?"

"No, we moved to Nevada first, then to New Mexico and finally to Arazona. We sort of circled the schools my mom worked in, like we did my grams."

"Did you get to stay in the same school?"

This topic was starting to make Bella feel uncomfortable. "No, the house, apartment, or room we moved to, were in different school districts."

"Room?"

"Yeah, sometimes mom would just rent out a room in someone's house. We were rarely ever home, so she didn't see the point of renting a whole apartment or house."

"Why were you rarely home?"

"Mom liked being out. She loved to meet new people and go on adventures."

"Did you have a lot of friends when you were growing up?"

Bella shook her head. "I'm a bit of a loner, I never really wanted friends."

"Why after all these years did you move back to Forks?"

"Phil thought it would be best."

"Who's Phil?"

"My mom's new husband."

"Is he your first stepdad?"

Bella nodded her head.

"Did your mom date a lot while you were growing up?"

"No!" Bella said a little defensively. Raining herself in, she explained. "Mom didn't date at all until I was thirteen. For the longest time it was us against the world." Bella smiled wistfully.

"Is that when she met Phil? When you were thirteen."

"Yes, but he wasn't the first boyfriend she had. She seemed lonely. I encouraged her to date. There were a few guys, but she said they were real losers. Then she found Phil."

"So, Phil's a winner?"

"Yes, Phil's cool."

"Why did he think it best to send you up here?"

"He was planning on doing a lot of traveling for work. He's a minor league baseball player. He said he wanted me to have some stability, and at least try to make some friends."

"Did you?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have a lot of friends now?"

"No. I did when I first moved here, but I don't anymore."

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Okay, do you think one day you will be friends with them again?"

Bella looked up at her. That was it? She just said she didn't want to talk about something and it was done? Bella shook herself. It took her a moment to remember the next question. Shrugging, she said. "Maybe."

Feeling a little more relaxed now Bella sagged into the couch. That was when a painting on the wall caught her eye. She cringed when she could see it clearly.

It was a tree that looked like it was swallowing a man. You could see the upper torso of a man with his hands on the trunk trying to push himself out of it. The only part of his lower half that showed was one of his knees.

"What's wrong?" The doctor asked at the sudden change in her demeanor.

"That painting reminds me of a nightmare I had."

"How so?"

"The forest was trying to swallow me up."

"So, you see it as the tree swallowing the man?"

"Of course, that's what it is."

"No, that's how you see it. Art is open to interpretation. Someone else might say the tree is birthing the man. A sign of a new life, new beginning. Or someone might say the tree is becoming the man. Or vice versa. A sign of change. Perhaps the man and the tree are one and the same. Fighting against or trying to break away from themselves. All the ways it can be interpreted have very powerful meanings behind them. It can say alot about what a person is going through."

"What does what I see say about me?" Bella wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, but she had already asked.

"It says you are overwhelmed. That you feel lost, helpless, overpowered, like you have no control over the things that are happening in your life."

Bella looked at the painting with a new view. If it said all that about her she wondered what it said about the artist. "I wonder what the artist felt."

"You can ask him." The doctor told her.

"I can?"

"Yes, you seem to know him well enough." At Bella's confused look she said. "It's Jacob Black."

"It is?" Bella asked? Then she remembered Jake was a patient here. "Oh!" But she was sure the doctor wasn't allowed to talk about her other patients. "Wait, should you be telling me that?"

"It's not a secret. He signed it." She pointed out.

"Oh, right." Bella felt really stupid in that moment. The perfect time to end the session.

"Well that's our time for today. I will see you again tomorrow. Now it's time to get that stubborn old man of yours in here." The doctor said jokingly.

Thank you for reading.