Chapter- 44

Bella groaned and moved her knees forward enough to hide her face in them. "Can we please not talk about that?"

"About your mom?"

"Yes."

"Will you tell me why?"

"I didn't talk to her. I don't think I can handle talking to her and I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. But Bella, someone does have to tell her what happened. It does not have to be you. Your father or I could tell her. If you get too overwhelmed by her knowing, you can call me at any time. Charlie has my personal number and I will make sure you have it too. Now what would you like to talk about?"

"Nothing."

Dr. Scott smiled sympathetically at her. "We have to talk about something."

"Fine," Bella grumbled. "Can you become someone's friend in twelve days?"

"Sure, Why not?"

"Because it's such a short amount of time."

"So? Some people have an instant connection. They could spend a few hours with a person and feel so comfortable with them that they consider them a friend. Others take more time, preferring to get to know people better before considering them friends."

"I didn't used to like people." Bella admitted.

"Now you do?"

Bella shrugged. "A few."

"What changed?"

"I met Angela. I think we had one of those instant connections."

The doctor smiled. "That's good. Are you thinking about reaching out to her?"

Bella shrugged. "I neglected her for so long. What if she doesn't forgive me?"

"What if she does?"

Bella shrank in on herself. Why did that scare her more? "What if she wants me to talk about it? About what he did?"

"It is natural for people to be curious. But it is up to you what, and how much you want to tell them."

"What if I don't want to tell them anything?"

"Then you simply say I don't want to talk about it."

"What if they don't listen?"

"Then repeat yourself until they do." Changing the subject, the Doctor asked, "When did you grow out of your love of writing?"

Bella shifted uneasily, "About a year ago."

"Was it a sudden change, or did you lose interest over time?"

Bella shrugged, "I got busy doing other things."

"What other things?"

Fidgeting, Bella said, "School, hanging out with friends, Dating." She cringed with the last word.

"Was Edward," A squeak came from Bella as she unconsciously scurried as far back on to the couch as she could. "I'm sorry." The doctor apologized. She waited a moment before continuing to ask the question. "Was he your first boyfriend?"

Bella nodded her head. Involuntary whimpers spilled out her mouth.

The Doctor was kneeling in front of her. "Bella, is it okay if I touch your arms?"

Unable to catch her breath Bella nodded. Dr Scott placed her hands on Bella's upper arms and started rubbing them up and down. "It's okay to cry sweetheart. You can let it out." Bella shook her head. Dr. Scott asked. "Can I hug you Bella?"

Bella nodded her head again. When the doctor wrapped her arms around her, she could no longer hold back. Sobs wracked her so hard her whole body spasmed. She didn't know how long she cried but when she calmed down her session was over.

"Do you think you're okay to leave, or do you want to stay a little longer?" The doctor asked her.

"I'm… Okay…" She hiccupped out.

"Are you sure?" Bella nodded her head. "Okay, remember you can call me at any time." Bella nodded again. "I want you to write something down tonight. You can write about one of your friends, or just write ''This is stupid.'' if you want. Okay?" She agreed, if only to pacify the doctor.

After giving Bella a card with her number on it, Dr Scott called Charlie back in. Seeing the state his daughter was in Charlie was hesitant to leave her. The doctor reassured Charlie that she would be okay and that they would just be on the other side of the door. Bella waited in the small waiting room once more while Charlie talked to the doctor again. She wondered what they were talking about. If the doctor was telling him what she said. No, she told herself. They were talking about something else, but the same scenario kept playing in her head where the doctor was telling Charlie every thing she said and did. She tried to not let the sick feeling of betrayal take her over. Telling herself she was wrong.

Her anxious thoughts had her hands shaking by the time Charlie came back out. Soon after they got into the car she blurted. "What did you talk to the doctor about?"

Charlie glanced at her, raising his eyebrows. "I'll tell you, if you tell me."

"She didn't tell you what I said?"

"No, she wouldn't do that."

"Then why did you have to go back in?"

Charlie let out a deep breath. "She didn't tell me anything you said. She told me that she felt you had a small breakthrough, you're getting better at communicating what you feel, and your emotions are coming out better." Charlie shook his head and mumbled "Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean."

Communicating better? Bella felt like she barely communicated at all. And her emotions? They were a mess. Bella shook her head just as confused as her father. "Is that all she said?" Charlie hesitated. "Dad."

"She told me that you are not ready to talk to your mother, and no matter how much she may persist, that I shouldn't force you to talk to her. That you will let me know when you're ready to talk to her."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready." Bella admitted glumly.

Charlie took his hand off the wheel, reached over and rubbed Bella's shoulder in understanding. "I didn't need her to tell me not to force you to talk to Ren. I wouldn't do that, not now."

Knowing that Bella wouldn't want to cook and not being in the mood to do so himself, they stopped to pick up food from the diner once more. Bella opted to stay in the car not wanting to have to deal with people.

Charlie had gotten some kind of chicken with spaghetti and Bell asked for a salad, knowing she wouldn't get away with telling Charlie she wasn't hungry.

She asked if she could go upstairs and eat. This time he didn't fight her on it. He did look over at the phone with dread.

Even though she had no appetite, Bella told herself she would at least try to eat. Sitting on her bed she opened the take-away container. On top of the Lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, and onions, lay six strips of grilled Chicken. Charlie must have had them added.

She picked up one of the strips of chicken and started to nibble on it. She ate about half the strip before her stomach started to turn. She put down the chicken and forced a fork full of salad down before giving up like this morning. Bell took the remaining food to the bathroom and dumped it in the toilet. All but the lettuce went down the drain. Bella had to flush three more times before everything was gone. "Stupid lettuce, not even the chicken gave me such a hard time." she complained at the toilet. "Next time I'll ask for soup."

Bella snuck down the stairs to see if the multiple flushes made Charlie suspicious. She had a few steps left when she realized she had been worrying about the wrong thing. Her fathers aggravated voice rang loudly through the rooms. "No. Renee, you can not speak to her. Look I know you're worried, but I'm taking care of it… I know I messed up. I don't need you to keep reminding me… Yes I'm sure you are the better parent… NO!" The loud yell made Bella jump. Charlie took a deep calming breath, "No, I am not sending her back to live with you… Because she wants to stay here… I am not lying… I would imagine it's because this is where all her friends live… No, I will not put her on the phone… Because she is not ready to talk about this."

Bella had enough. She felt the stress her mother caused and she wasn't even the one talking to her. Sitting on her bed she fought another breakdown. Looking around her room she saw something furry sticking out from between her dresser and the wall. Going over to investigate she found that it was her stuffed wolf. "How did you get over here?" she asked. Bringing it over to her bed she cuddled it into her chest. She needed something to distract herself with. She picked up the notebook the doctor gave her and with her wolf sitting in her lap she scribbled 'this is stupid.' on the page. She read the words and sighed. Then put the pen to paper and started to write 'Angela,' The words describing her friend flowed onto the paper.

A knock at the door caught her attention. "Come in." She called. She was expecting Charlie so when Jake peeked his head in, she was pleasantly surprised. "Hi." she said brightly.

"Hey," Jake said, coming over to her. "You're writing." He smiled. Bella pulled the book into her chest. "Can I read it?"

"No!" she said quickly, shutting the book and sticking it in a drawer in her night stand.

"Okay, jeez." he pointed at her bed. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah,"

"Hay, I know that wolf." Jake pulled the plush animal out of her lap to get a better look at it.

"You do?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, I have his brother at home." He smiled at it. "I always wondered where this one went."

"Oh," Bella said sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I don't remember taking him. I've had him for a long time. How do you know he's the match?"

"The only reason I knew he existed was because all my friends had them. They were all made in pairs."

"How do you know this one is yours?"

Jake pulled one of the ears back. He pointed at a small J.B. stitched there.

"Oh," Bella said, feeling a strange sense of disappointment.

Handing it back to her he said. "I'll have to bring the other one over so they can be reunited."

"You're not taking him back?" She asked in surprise.

"Na, he belongs with you."

"They must be important to you. You still have the other one."

"My mom made them," he shrugged. "She made all of them."

"Oh, Jake, I can't keep this."

"Of course you can."

"No, your mom…"

"She would want you to have him."

She sniffled and shook her head. "Okay, shared custody then." He smiled at her. "You keep them here, and I will visit… often."

Bella hugged the wolf and stared at him with a frown.

He pressed his finger to the crease between her eyebrows, asking, "What?"

"Are you really my friend?"

His lip tipped up on one side then he lifted the opposite eyebrow giving him a comical look. "Yes," he said in a questioning tone.

"Do you know we only know each other for twelve days?"

His eyes went round. "Really?" a look of concentration came over his face. "Hmm." He shrugged. "Seems longer."

"That's what I said." Her frown deepened. "How can we really be friends in such a short time?"

"I don't know, we just are." Bella huffed at his answer. "Face it Swan." Jake tapped her on her nose. "There is just something about you that I like. So, I proclaim us friends." He smirked.

"How nice of you." She deadpanned.

"Ha," He grabbed her by the back of her knees and tugged her towards him. The sudden action had her falling back on to the pillows. "No, it's purely selfish." He said, leaning over her. "I like the way I feel around you, but your present gloominess is bringing me down. So if you don't cut it out, I am going to tickle it out of you."

Her eyes and mouth popped open wide. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would,"

She scowled at him and without mercy he began to wiggle his fingers along her sides, only stopping after she was out of breath from squealing with laughter. He plopped himself on the bed beside her. Rolling on his side he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. "So, what do you say Bells? Do you declare us friends too?"

She smiled up at him. "Yeah, friends." he held out his free hand for a fist bump. "Now, tell me the latest gossip."

He frowned, looking away from her face he pulled on the hem of the shirt she was wearing and started fiddling with a frayed stitch. "I'll have to give you a different one, a newer one."

"Jake," She said in a warning tone.

He grimaced. "Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Yeah, I have to know what I'm in for when I go back."

Huffing out an aggravated breath he said, "okay," But before he could say anything else Charlie walked in. Taking in the scene in front of him, Bella could tell he was biting back a comment. He cleared his throat and held up his phone. "It's Phil, he wants to know if he could talk to you."

Bella swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath she nodded her head. She sat up and held her hand out for the phone. Putting the phone to her ear she reached behind her. Jake grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"Phil, Hi."

"Hey kid, are you doing okay?" Phil's kind, calm voice made her relax.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Do you want to come home?"

She looked up at her father and then back at Jake. "I am home."

"Would you like us to come there?"

"No, Phil… I can't… I can't handle her right now."

"It's okay sweetheart. I understand."

In the background she could hear Renee's frantic and impatient voice. "Give me the phone! Let me talk to my baby!"

Bella winced at the high pitched squeal.

Phil talked over Renee. "I've gotta go."

"Okay, Phil, Thanks."

"Any time kid. We love you."

"Love you too." She hung up and handed the phone to Charlie.

"Okay," Charlie said. "You're okay?"

"Yeah dad. I'm good."

"Okay."

Charlie pointed at them with two fingers then to his eyes and back to them before pulling the door closed. The door swung back open, pointing at it, Charlie said. "Door stays open." Then he backed away before turning to go down the stairs.

Jake had an amused smirk on his face. "Do you think he would act like that if I were a girl?"

"Humpf, no, definitely not." She turned to face him. "Alright Black, spill."

A/N What do you all think the rumor mill is saying? If you come up with something I can fit in the story I will put it in there and credit you for it.