Chapter 45

Jacob huffed. "Alright," leaning back on her headboard, he held out an arm. "come here." She moved over to him and cuddled into his side. "First, your friends Angela and Mike wanted to know if you were okay. Apparently, they still can't get in touch with you. Lauren's word seemed to be good enough for your other friends, but not for them."

"Lauren's word?"

"Yeah, an ambulance and cop sirens headed to the police chief's house will get a lot of attention. Some people saw me dropping Lauren off and figured she would know something."

"She knows everything."

"Yeah, but the only thing she told them was that you were alive and unharmed."

"And they accepted that?"

"No, but to everything else they asked, she told them to fuck off. Something about them only wanting sex and/or gossip from her."

Bella opened and closed her mouth a few times before saying. "I don't know what to say to that." Jake shrugged. "Are you mad?"

He lifted an eyebrow at her "Why would I be mad?"

"Because she's your girlfriend."

"Oh my god Bells. She… is not… my… girlfriend!"

"Alright, alright, geez. What did they ask you?"

"Dumb ass questions."

"Jake," Bella whined.

Huffing he told her. "The census before lunch was that I went nuts again, killed Jasper and tried to kill…" looking down at her he said. "Him. Anyway, after blondy sat with us at lunch most people changed their opinion."

"Most?" she asked wide-eyed.

"Okay, so half," he smirked. "The other half started saying She planned it with me."

She wrinkled her brow. "There is something seriously wrong with the people around here."

"They're just bored and paranoid."

"What did the sensible Forksiens say?"

He lifted both his eyebrows at her. "There are sensible Forksiens?"

She shoved him in the side and scowled, making him laugh. "The other half all have their assumptions but they're all ridiculous."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"It's just too much to get into."

"Fine. What did Ange and Mike say?"

"They have both been trying to call you since the party. They are really worried and want to hear from you. And Mike straight out asked me if you were okay. I told him you were."

"You spoke to him?"

Sighing, he admitted. "I nodded my head."

"Why do you do that? I mean you talk to me and Lauren all the time. Why not talk to other people?"

"I don't like people."

"But you like us?"

"Us?"

"Me and Lauren."

"No, Lauren's a fucken bitch, but I understand where she's coming from, so I tolerate her."

"Gee, that's a nice thing to say about your girl… the girl you're fooling around with." Even with the change in words, the sarcasm was not lost.

"You're just as bad as the rest of them, you know."

She pulled away from him to look in his face. "What do you mean?"

"You tend to assume something and then just take that assumption as truth."

"No, I don't, I…" she shook her head, continuing her denial.

"You seem to think that Lauren and I are having some grand affair. What do you pitcher Lauren and I do when we are alone together?" Bella blushed and studied her hands. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"But you said, you knew she was using you."

"Yeah," confusion and frustration took hold of Bella and tears started to pool in her eyes. Jake blew out a breath and pulled her back into him. "Sex isn't the only way that someone can use another person."

"But I thought…"

"I know, and I let you, and everyone else, think that. It's not like she didn't try. I'm not going to lie, I almost gave in, more than once, but I'm not in a place where I can handle the complications of sex right now."

"Complications?"

"Yeah, I know casual sex isn't a big deal to most people, but when you're not mentally or emotionally stable… It's better if you abstain."

"But, you're fine. There's nothing wrong with you."

He chuckled humorlessly. "I'm not. I know it might seem like that, but I am far from okay." Placing his forehead against hers he said. "But when I'm with you, I feel like I can be. Like I'm closer to okay than I have been in a long time."

"Lauren doesn't make you feel that way?"

"No." he rolled away from her but kept her tucked into his side. Taking a deep breath he said, "Lauren makes me feel unstable, she likes to push my buttons."

"Then why do you hang out with her?"

"Because she needs me. Besides, she is getting better, not as pushy."

"What was she pushy about?"

"Everything." Instead of specifying, He said." I think she's jealous of you."

"Me? Why do you think that?"

"People like you."

"If you say so."

He smiled at her. "I think it's because I am closer to you, more open."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. You're softer, there's like this calmness that surrounds you, and even though you can be judgemental." He looked down at her, unable to hide his teasing smirk. She glared back up at him. "You seem to hold your judgment back and accept me for who I am, every broken piece of me." He used his free hand to trace her hand and fingers that were now resting on his stomach.

She looked down, studying the movement of his hand. "I'm not the only one who accepts you for who you are." She gently pointed out.

"Maybe," He acknowledged. "Maybe not."

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