An Affair To Remember: Forgive Us

by tarskeewee08

"John why did you do this!" Evangeline said tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe he would go this far to get his way. Had he completely lost his mind?

"I had too sunshine, this is where it all began for us. I need this and so do you."

The limo goes through the gate and climbs the winding hill to the castle. John had flown Kevin to Ireland and had every intention of submerging him in the Merger of BE and McBain industries.

But he had taken his sunshine back to Cambridge England to the castle where they fell in love. Evangeline couldn't deny the part of her that had secretly longed to return here. She looked out of the tinted window to see the forested green over grown grass and large bent old trees, fanning out their braches casting shade in the evening setting sun. The castle looked unkept and unloved. It was nice seeing it in the spring as oppose to the dead of winter.

When the limo stopped she let her tears fall silently. Her heart ached from all the memories flooding her at once. She could see her self at the foot of the gate buzzing for him and crying desperate to find where he went, why he abandoned what they shared.

Refusing to look at him she wiped at her face as the limo driver opened the door. She thought the biggest surprise was being here again. Well she was wrong. The biggest surprise was who came running out the front of the castle.

"Ming?" she said confused
"Vangie!" Ming exclaimed running to her and jumping in her arms. Evangeline clung to her friend and hugged her. She forgot in that moment how angry and hurt she was over her part in the betrayal years ago. Ming squealed and kissed her face. Evangeline laughed and jumped up and down with her holding her tiny friend.

Looking past her shoulder she saw Sam standing at the entrance smiling at her. Letting go of Ming and stepping back she frowned "What's going on? Where you apart of this?"

"Van, please listen I can explain."
"No Ming…I haven't heard from you in 14 years not a word but you help him kidnap me to bring me here? Why?"

The driver is taking her luggage up and Evangeline looks at the three that held the truth from her years ago wondering why now they decided to do this.

"Come inside let's talk…" Ming says pleadingly.

"I don't want to talk." Turning to John who's leaning on the limo watching her she marches into his face "Take me to the airport."

"No.." he says staring at her with conviction. His blue eyes smoldering with this intent to make her his again, she clenches her fist at being forced into anything against her will.

Ming walks over to her side. "Come inside and let's talk…if you still want to leave afterwards I will have Sam take you to the airport. I swear"

Evangeline glares at John then looks at her friend. Ming has tears in her eyes and she looking at her pleadingly. Sucking her teeth she turns and marches into the castle.

Ming watches her push past Sam without speaking to him and knows her friend is hurt and confused. She looks at John and scowls "John, you didn't tell her you were bringing her here?"

John shakes his head sadly "I couldn't she wouldn't have come Ming…."
Ming looks at him as if he's lost his mind "You can't force her John. She won't respond to that….I told you to come clean with her and then let her decide."

John glares at Ming. "I bloody well did! I poured my heart out to her. I told her everything and she still wanted her marriage. I couldn't think of anyway to make her come."

Ming runs her hands through her long silky black mane. "Then that was her choice. We all sat back and decided for her years ago, we have no right to do that now. I won't force her into anything John and I won't let you do it either!"

"I love her!"

"So what! She's married." Ming yells at him. Sam shakes his head and goes back into the castle. Ming steps closer to John who has his head down in frustration. She touches his arm gently. After marrying Sam she and John became close. He brooded for a long time over his loss of Evangeline. She thought the love of Caitlyn had healed him and towards the end during her pregnancy John came alive again. But when he lost them he lost all control.

He came to her with the information on Evangeline's husband wanting to merge with McBain Industries. At first she thought he wanted to get into one of those reminisce sessions where he forced her to tell him something he didn't know about her. All these years he used Ming as his life to Evangeline even though they had lost contact.

When he told her of his plan to win her back she thought it was a crazy idea. But seeing his pain and how he lonely and isolated he was she agreed to help. She told him to go to her and confess it all. To be prepared to have her turn him away but to at least quiet that growing cancer of 'what if' that ate away at his heart.

In doing so she has once again neglected her friend's needs. Turning and looking at the castle she sighed. Evangeline was angry and hurt and she had every right to be.

"It is good to see you again Evangeline"
Evangeline paced the study and looked up at Sam. "Is it?"
Sam walks in deeper to the study "I'm sorry if you were hurt"
"If I was hurt? Sam you saw me! How many times did I cry and beg you to tell me anything about him?"

Sam shakes his head sadly. "I didn't want you hurt any further"
"So in other words you played god with my life and my heart!" Evangeline shouted.

Ming stepped into the room. "Don't yell at Sam Van, he wanted to tell you. I was the one that decided that John should leave and you not know"

Evangeline turned on her friend with fury "Who the hell were you to make that choice!"

"You friend dammit! You lost all focus when you hooked up with him! You lost that grant because of your relationship with that ass!" Ming screamed back pointing at John.

John watched the scene silently. Evangeline glared at her friend. "I did not loose that grant because of my relationship with him. Besides you never cared if I won that grant or not, from what I can tell you benefited greatly by me loosing that grant!"

"What are you saying?" Ming asked hurt
"I'm saying that you saw how it ripped me apart when he didn't call after that first night, you knew what would happen if he left altogether. Seems to me it was a win/win situation if I lost control over him" she spat glaring at her tears glistening the corners of her eyes.

Ming shook her head sadly. "When you two started seeing each other Van, you were constantly daydreaming about him. You left most nights. Arrived to classes late and skipped chapel over and over again. I was worried about you. How many times did I tell you that he wasn't anything more than a lay? How many times did I tell you to gain perspective? And that was before even I knew the truth. But you wouldn't listen you wandered around campus like a love sick puppy"

Ming walks closer to her "I wanted you to succeed. You were my best friend and the most talented out of all of us in that program. That grant was yours for the taking but you fell in love sweetie and lost all perspective."

Evangeline folded her arms and looked at all three of them staring at her. John couldn't look her in the eye listening to how she lost control because of her love for him. Ming took another step toward her. "I found out that John was lying to you and demanded he come clean. When he shared that next day that he still couldn't do it I asked that he leave. I betrayed our friendship by trying to protect you. I just had no idea I would make it so much worse. I am so sorry sweetie. I will forever be sorry for my part in this."

"You all robbed me of the right to handle my own pain and heart. Do you know how humiliating this betrayal is?" Evangeline said weakly bursting into tears.

Ming went to her friend and pulled her into her arms. Evangeline hugged her and cried at the truth. She did give up on that grant before the betrayal, she went through the motions and told herself she was giving a 100 but that wasn't true. All she wanted was John and when he left she barely finished her capstone and could careless about the finished project. Ming let her go and touched her face.

"You have every right to be angry at me. I was wrong to do that to you Van, it was your life and I was your best friend. I only thought I was protecting you. Forgive us Van and let's work this out." Ming said crying with her.

Evangeline frowned and pulled away "What do you guys want from me? For Christ sake it's been 14 years….why are you doing this now?"

John came in closer to the weeping friends "Their doing this because of me sunshine. I asked them too. I just couldn't go another day without reaching out to you. I had to find out if there was any chance that I could have what we lost. What I so callously tossed aside years ago."

Evangeline ran her hand through her hair and turned her back to them looking into the empty fireplace. She remembered the night he sat there making the fire smiling devilishly at her. The night everything changed. She wasn't prepared to forgive them not yet. She wanted to hold onto her anger, it was her defense. Yet she was confused she didn't know what she was defending herself against.

John touched Ming's shoulder affectionately "Can you guys give us a moment alone."
Evangeline looked over her shoulder at Ming who stared at her sadly. Sam came to her and grabbed her hand pulling her out of the room. Ming looked back as she left crying softly "Van, please forgive me…."

Evangeline turned away and looked back into the empty fireplace. John came up behind her and though he didn't touch her she knew he was close. "Evangeline…"
"I can't stay here with you John"
"I know I've put you in an impossible position, but can't you see how desperate I am. I didn't know how to reach you."

Evangeline turned around and she was face to face with the man that gave her such great passion and pain. His eyes clear and sorrowful shined with his love for her. She just didn't know how to let go of the way he hurt her. "What do you want from me? Honestly after all this time what do you want John?"

John smiled at her. "A week. Give me one week of the four of us sharing and being friends again. I won't cross the line sunshine; I meant it when I said the next move was yours. I just ask that you allow yourself the freedom to see if there is anything between us. If after a week you want to go I will fly you back immediately."

"What about my husband….what will I tell Kevin?"
John looked away "You'd have to lie…you'd have to betray his trust. You'd have to treat him the way he treated you."

Evangeline shook her head sadly "I'm not him" she said looking down
John lifted her face to his "That's right you aren't like any of us. You're like that priceless egg. As beautiful as you are on the outside attracting people like moths to a flame…inside you are something much more special….something pure and honest. I don't want to change that princess. Bloody hell it's the reason I love you so. But I'm a lost man without you. I tried to do it for 14 years and failed miserably. I have to ask"

Evangeline closed her eyes to the words that floated into her heart fluidly. He brought her face to his and kissed her softly. She didn't resist and though she knew it was wrong she had to find out who she was and what she needed.

She was lost too. "Okay John I'll give you your week."

John dropped his hand and extended it to her smiling. "Let me show you to your room"
Evangeline took his hand and let him lead her out. They climbed the large winding stairwell together side by side like they did many many winters ago and she intertwined her fingers with his. He took her down the hall to his master suite and before she could question him he stopped at the room to the left of it.

"The upper level still has no electricity so I decided to put you next to me. Especially sense you are afraid of ghost and all."

Evangeline chuckled inside and walked through the door. The room had been prepared for her arrival. There were bright red roses in every corner. She saw her luggage to the left and remembered how far the bathroom was. Walking to left side of the room she was pleased to see that she had a balcony too.

Opening the double doors she stepped out and to her right was the balcony to his suite. Looking out over the land she remembered how she wondered what it looked like in the spring and she was more than impressed. The landscaping was breathtaking. The grass so green it looked like god himself had taken his paint brushed and hand colored the countryside.

Seeing the little cottages further down the hill she smiled remembering how they glowed at night giving you a feel of being in some 16th century fairytale staring out into your kingdom.

John came out and put his arms on either side of her leaning into her back. She looked down to her left not fully turning into him while he whispered in her right ear "You have made me the happiest man in the world." He said his breath blowing against the tiny hairs on her neck "I'll give you some time to unpack, tonight we are going out to eat if that's okay."

Evangeline nodded and swallowed her nervousness at the close contact. He pulled back turning to leave. She looked over her shoulder at him. "John…."

Stopping he looked at her "Yes"
"Thanks…"
He smiled at her and stared for several seconds. Turning he left. Evangeline turned back and looked at the view hugging herself. She felt 20 all over again. The dread and loneliness she carried was subsiding and it was like a baby taking her first breath. This wasn't about John or Kevin…this was about her. She needed this for her.

"Evangeline?"
Turning she saw Mindy standing in the doorway, the wind from the balcony blowing at her radiant black hair. She still was the most gorgeous woman she knew and Evangeline was impressed that she kept her bombshell figure after having two kids.

Stepping onto the balcony she smiled lightly "Can we start over…I've missed you something terribly."

Smiling at her she nods "Ming, I'm hurt that you didn't come to me and tell me the truth. But we were young and I was spiraling out of control. You did what you thought was right at the time. You did it because you loved me."

"I still do Van, I stopped writing you after six months because I couldn't deal with keeping the lie. In your letters you would ask if I saw him on campus and I lied. You asked if Sam ever mentioned him and I lied. I just couldn't do it anymore. I'd lied so long and so strong that it was impossible to undo it."

Evangeline leaned against the cold stone balcony reflecting on her words. She felt deja vu, when Kevin tried to explain his betrayal he talked about the lie and how it grew bigger and deeper between them. Now her best friend admits to the same thing.

"Well I told John I would stay for a week, I don't know why but I guess we all need some closure."

Ming nodded. "How is your life in Llanview? John told me that you are married."
I smile lightly "Yes for 10 years."
"Are you happy?"
Evangeline laughs "Define happy"
Ming laughs too "Not sure if I can…"
Looking at her friend her heart warms to have her again. "John told me you have two kids."

Ming nodded walking to the balcony and looking over it. The wind blowing her hair behind her she looked like some mythical Asian temptress. "I have twin boys and they are 8. Me and Sam married after I completed the graduate program at Oxford. I was offered tenure and he was my new best friend. It just felt right."

Evangeline leaned on the balcony looking out at the leaves swaying in the trees. "I never had kids Ming, funny but I never even considered it."

Ming looked at her friend "Why not? You're the kindest most giving person I know."
"People change…I changed. I closed off to a lot and redefined what I considered happiness. Kids weren't part of it. Kids required a level of intimacy and commitment that I didn't want with my husband. Funny how right now in this moment that became crystal clear to me."

Ming said nothing and Evangeline marveled over that new self discovery. She chose Kevin because she could remain closed off. She didn't want anything to hurt or control her.

"Well let's get dressed. The boys are taking us out on the town! And you know me I still give as good as I get!"

Evangeline laughed "What should I wear?"
"Something fun and comfortable"
"Okay…"

She watched Ming walk off the balcony and looked up into the sky. This was the first impulsive thing she's done since she jumped on the back of that motorcycle in the dead of winter. She felt carefree again.