An Affair To Remember: What do I want

by tarskeewee08

Evangeline sat on the jet looking out of the window. She was now numb to it all. Lisa watched her daughters face and saw her pain. Kevin sat next to her drifting to sleep. They barely spoke to each other and Lisa could tell that there were major problems ahead.

"Cookie"
Evangeline looked at her mom exhausted saying nothing.
"Why didn't you tell me about this John McBain person?"
Cutting her eyes she looked back at the window. She didn't want to talk or think she just wanted to be left alone. Lisa saw that she would have to get her daughter alone to get to the root of this matter and then she would help her decide what is best for her future.

Kevin heard Lisa's questions but didn't open his eyes. He didn't want to see any look of regret on his wife's face. He would tolerate the temporary separation she asked for but that was it. When he got back he would find a way to make John McBain pay for what he has done to them.

Ming came into the study seeing John sitting with a glass of brandy staring into the empty fireplace. Sam was upstairs packing their things. John wanted to leave the castle immediately, he said he couldn't stay another minute.

"John…" she called his name softly and he didn't move, his hand holding the brandy sifter stirred slightly swirling the amber colored liquid in the glass. Walking over to the couch she sat next to him. His eyes were swollen and red. He cried something awful when she left and remained outside in his pain for almost a hour. Now he was just numb to it all.

"John listen to me sweetie"
"No!" he snapped at Ming. Glaring at her his face tightened with rage. "I should have never listened to you! I should have never told her he was here. You said she would choose me. You said that she would be mine again!"

Ming knew he was hurt and it broke her heart "John, she's not a possession. She doesn't belong to you sweetie. She's a married woman."

John took the brandy glass and threw it into the fireplace causing it shatter and Ming to jump. He turned on Ming. "I love her, I can't live without her. I'm going after her!" he shouted jumping up.

Ming jumped up after him. "If you do you will loose her forever!" she shouted causing him to stop in his tracks.

Turning around he looked at her breathing hard. "I've already lost her!"
"No John you haven't. I saw the way she clung to you. Evangeline is confused and scared but she isn't stupid. She has to face her demons and that includes the one she's married too. Let her do it John. Trust her to do it"

John dropped his head in defeat. "Oh god…" he moaned crying silently. Ming went to him and put her arms around him. He held her too and she comforted him. Sam came in to witness the scene and he sighed. "Guys let's go it's a long flight back."

John let go of Ming and walked out. She watched him praying that what she said was right. She prayed that Evangeline saw the truth.

Packing more bags in her bedroom Evangeline ignored Kevin as he paced the floor.
"I just don't see why the first night back you are all set to leave me. We need to talk to reconnect"
"I told you Kevin I needed space"
"You had space when you left me for that jerk"
Evangeline stopped packing and looked at him. "This thing with John and I has nothing to do with you Kevin. It happened before we ever met"

"That's bullshit! It has everything to do with me if what you say is true and you are in love with him"

Zipping her suitcase she saw his point, which was all the more reason she should go. "This isn't fair to either of us Kevin, I can't be a wife to you now."

Kevin walked over to her and she felt him pressing into her from behind. He tried to slip his hands around her to embrace her but she squirmed free. Pulling her suitcase off the bed she looked up to see his pain. "Kevin, you agreed to this"
"I changed my mind dammit. I want my wife!" he snapped
"Well too bad!" she hissed pulling her suitcase

Kevin raced to her and snatched her suitcase from her hand. Evangeline looked at him shocked as he tossed it aside and approached her. His pain and anguish was making him completely irrational. She shook her head no and tried to go for her suitcase. Grabbing her he brought her close and held her tightly. "Please Van, you're my wife" he said kissing her face

She pushed at him but he held her tighter "We exchanged vows! You're my wife dammit" he said still forcing his kisses on her. Evangeline turned her head but didn't scream. She felt his kisses on her neck and wanted to vomit. It was becoming increasingly clear that he was not a man she wanted. This marriage was over. He groped at her body and she winced. If he didn't let her go soon she would knee him and end the invasion.

Kevin felt her disinterest and released her. "How could you do this to us Van? How?" he asked hurt.

She looked in his face "I didn't do this by myself Kevin, there was something missing from us both. If it wasn't you would have never had an affair and I would have never pulled away."

Kevin rubbed his jaw "Is my marriage over?" he asked
She looked at him sadly "I'd suggest you give me a few days to contemplate that question because you wouldn't like the answer I have for you today." She said going to get her suitcase.

Kevin watched her gather the rest of her things and didn't stop her. Pulling her suitcase out behind her she stopped at the door and looked at him. "I will call you tonight to give you my information."

"When will we talk again?" he asked
"I don't know give me a few days and I will call you" she said closing the door.

Kevin couldn't believe it. Walking over to his bed he sat down. He wanted revenge, but didn't know how to get it.

Lisa saw Evangeline coming down stairs with her bags. She frowned "Are you seriously leaving your husband?"

Evangeline ignored the question focused on getting her luggage. Lisa became enraged. "That's it cookie in the living room now! I want to talk to you!"

Glaring at her mom she released her bags and marched into the living room. "What is it?"
"First off why didn't you tell me about that rich man in England?"
Evangeline smirked "Maybe because it was none of your business! And what does his money have to do with him?"
"Don't get saucy with me. Who is he to you? Are you leaving Kevin for him?"
Evangeline looked her mother up and down disgusted "You would like that wouldn't you?"

Lisa frowned "What?"
"If I left one rich man for another, if John McBain scrubbed toilets you would be in here throwing a fit about my duty as a wife!"
"That's not true"
"Really? So who do you think I should stay with mom?"
"Well I'm not sure who do you love?" Lisa asked trying to sound sincere.

"See, before meeting John you were all set to drag me back to Llanview. And now I see that old familiar sparkle in your eye. Trying to see how this situation could benefit you!"

"How dare you! I want what's best for you….I'm your mother!"
"You haven't been a mother to me since I was eight." Evangeline said glaring at her. "But I am curious mom, why did you choose to stay with daddy knowing that he was unfaithful to you?"
Lisa looked away. "This isn't about me!"
"The hell it isn't. When I came to you in pain telling you of Kevin's betrayal you did everything in your power to remind me of my place. You lounged around this mausoleum like it was your palace. At first I thought you really believed that a wife's role is at her husband's side. But I see the greed in your eyes now. I know that you never cared about my happiness or my duty. You only cared about you. Isn't that right!"

Lisa began to cry "No baby, I stayed with your father because I didn't have a choice. How was I going to look my baby in her eyes and tell her that I was trapped and miserable? I thought I was helping you understand that marriage was complicated. When you married Kevin I saw your chance at the luxuries I never had. But Evangeline even with all your wealth you were just as trapped as me. If you left him you wouldn't have anything and I couldn't let that happen. I mean you even work for him. I was trying to help you."

"No you weren't you were trying to help yourself. That sickens me most of all! I want away from you and the lies and manipulations." She shouted storming out past her mother.

"Evangeline…wait I can help sweetie. If you want John I can help!" Lisa said crying.

"I don't need your help" she hissed grabbing her bags and going to the door. She looked up to see Kevin standing at the top of the stairs watching her. She could say nothing more. Walking out into the night she went to the car waiting for her happy to escape.

John sat on his jet looking blankly into space. He should be in Ireland soon and he planned to throw himself into his work immediately. Closing his eyes he tried to settle the pain his chest over her leaving but instead he kept seeing images of him holding her again.

"Sir McBain" the attendant said forcing him to open his eyes.
"Yes"
"Telephone" he said passing him the phone and then walking away.
John accepted the phone confused "Hello?"
"John…" Evangeline said weakly
Sitting up straight he tightened his grip on the phone "Evangeline?"
"Yes, are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine….I'm so glad you called me" he said smiling.
"I didn't like the way you were hurt when I left I had to know that you were alright"
John could hear the tears in her voice and it ate away at him. "Sunshine…"
"I just called to let you know I was home okay and to make sure you were okay. I got to go…"
"Wait" John heard that she was still on the line and raced through his thoughts to find something to say to her now to reach her. "I understand why you had to leave Evangeline. I want you whole again"

"I have to go…."
"I know baby, I just wanted to say that I love you and I will be waiting to here no matter what you decide. Ultimately I want nothing but your happiness, even at the sacrifice of my own."
"Bye John"

John heard the line go dead and sighed. He had to hold on to the fact that she called him. That was a good thing. Maybe they would get through this. God he hoped so because to not too meant he would never see her again and that terrified him.

Evangeline sat on the bed and looked at the phone. She shouldn't have called him but the image of him chasing her car haunted her. To know he was okay helped. Reaching for the phone she grabbed it and called Layla's cell.

"Speak…" Layla answered
"Lay?"
"Vangie?" Layla said excitedly
"Hey…where are you what's that noise behind you?"
Layla burst out laughing. "I'm at Fat Tuesday's on South Beach….hold on."

Evangeline listened as Layla left the loud atmosphere and she could here her clearly. "Girl where are you? Momma called me with some craziness about you being kidnapped to England?"

Evangeline smiled "I wasn't kidnapped but I'm home now"
"Something wrong Vangie?"
Evangeline lay back on her pillow crying softly. "I need to get away from them all Lay, I'm in so much pain and I just want it to stop. I don't want to be hurt again but I can't figure out how to have what I want and protect myself. Oh god Lay it's a mess!"

Layla remained silent for awhile. "Where are you…"
"I took a room in the palace"
"Okay I will be there in the morning. I am taking a flight out immediately"
"Lay I can't ask you too…."
"Girl please! I am the only one that has your back Vangie. I am on my way. Just sit tight sweetie."

Evangeline smiled and hung up. She would let her sister come and support her. Thinking about them and what to do was hard but having someone around that loves her will help. She lay back on her pillow and curled up. She welcomed sleep, she only hoped that she didn't dream.