Chapter 6: Communicating

"Communication involves self-revelation on the part of one individual and listening on the part of another."

– Dr. Gary Chapman

Sharing II

Adrien could speak three languages fluently and two conversationally, but somehow he still managed to communicate poorly with those around him.

It happened a lot while he was Chat Noir when he tried to communicate his feelings with his lady. For some reason, she saw his confessions of love as either pick up lines or a repetitive joke, even after they'd been fighting side by side for more than a year now. It happened when he was helping come up with plans against Hawkmoth. His plans came out okay but was nonsensical at times.

It happened sometimes when he was Adrien as well. Now usually, he was able to get his point across... until today when, despite his being on the fence, Nino threw him a party under the guise of "guy time". He wasn't sure about it at first but as more and more people showed up, he relaxed.

And honestly? It was great! Seeing all the friends he'd made and all the people he'd met since starting school was spirit lifting. He wasn't sure if hosting a party while his father was gone was smart, but he decided to enjoy himself and bond with his friends. He picked out songs to blast with Nino, marveled over the Marinette-dedicated Ladybug comic with Marc and Nathaniel, discussed different blends of ice cream flavors with Andre, and danced and chatted with Luka. He didn't have to pretend to be the perfect Adrien with them in those moments. He could just be himself.

He'd never felt so carefree as Adrien before so, naturally, that's when an akuma struck.

A misunderstanding happened and a disco villain appeared followed by every male holder and Ladybug showing up to fight which quickly solved the problem and Wayhem was happy to join them so the party resumed.

The party was carrying on and everyone was having fun... until the party crashers arrived. At least, that's what Nino said and called them as soon as he saw the girls- Alya, Alix, Mylene, Rose, Juleka, and Marinette- walk through the door.

"Guy time isn't guy time with girls here." He moped but his mood changed when his girlfriend approached them.

As Alya greeted Nino with a quick kiss, Adrien tried not to feel jealous. Seeing couples always left him feeling a bit lonely and isolated.

As a teenage boy, of course Adrien had an interest in girls, specifically superhero girls who swung around using a yo-yo in red spandex. He wanted to date and fall in love with someone and be able to do all the couple-y things he saw Nino and Alya, Ivan and Mylene do. However, dating wasn't part of the image of the perfect Adrien Agreste, as his father had said after he found out about Adrien's double date with Kagami, Luka, and Marinette. Adrien had wanted to disagree and tell his father that he should be able to make that decision himself, but communicating with his father had never been easy. Gabriel labored under the belief that Adrien was there to listen, obey, and smile. No amount of attempted communication could change that.

Feeling lips on his cheek, Adrien was knocked out of his thoughts as Alya gave his other cheek a kiss in greeting. "So this is why the guys ditched us today?" Nino's 'oh shit' face had Adrien looking between them confused but she just waved it away. "Anyways, it's so awesome to see what the inside of this mansion looks like. It's amazing!"

"Thanks, but it's just a house." He shrugged and she nodded before smiling.

"Have you said hi to Marinette yet?"

"Not yet."

Alya smirked as her eyes twinkled. "You should go say hi! She was very excited to come and see you!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!" Adrien's mood lightened even more. It always made him happy to learn that people wanted to see and be around him, especially people he enjoyed being around like Marinette. "She's right over there by Luka!" Adrien looked around and spotted the pair talking in a corner of his room by the spiral stairs.

Waving goodbye to the pair, Adrien made his way over to them. The mood was so hyped that Adrien couldn't help but savor the difference between it and the normal solitary his room usually presented. He was almost to them when he caught a snippet of their conversation that made him pause.

"- feel the same but I'm too nervous to talk to him!"

Marinette was nervous about talking to someone? Did she find it hard to communicate with certain people too? Adrien had to admit. She did stumble over and mix up her words a lot, but she always got her point across, at least that's what he thought.

Luka said something that Adrien didn't catch but whatever it was made Marinette snort out a laugh and Adrien felt a smile spread across his face. It was so nice to hear her laugh. She'd been looking stressed for the longest and he'd been worried about her. He was actually surprised and happy that she was able to make it due to how she'd been zipping around from place to place the last few weeks. Feeling bad for eavesdropping, Adrien decided to join them and moved from behind the staircase.

"-like I can walk up to him and say, 'hi! I'm in love with- ADRIEN, hi!" Marinette nearly shouted as he walked up to them. Luka turned and greeted him with a smile as Marinette's cheeks turned pink. Adrien wondered why.

"What's up, Adrien?" Luka asked as he shifted to make space for Adrien to join them.

"Not much. Alya mentioned that Marinette was here and I wanted to come say hi... Are you okay?"

Marinette, who had facepalmed, moved her hand and nodded quickly. "Oh yeah. Good is me! I mean- You're fine! That is- I'm fine! Good! Great even. Ugh, sorry." She dropped her head into her hands. Luka chuckled and put a hand on her shoulder, silently encouraging her to take a deep breath. Adrien marveled at how well they communicated through touch and wondered if he'd ever get the chance to develop a friendship like that with someone.

"Marinette was just venting about some things and it has her a little jumpy."

"Venting?"

Marinette nodded gratefully. "Yeah. I was having some problems and Luka was helping me think them through. He's such a great listener. If you ever need someone to listen to you, Luka's your man! Ears of an elephant this guy! Y'know? Because elephants are able to hear really well." She laughed nervously and both boys looked at her with smiles, one adoring and the other a tiny bit confused.

"Thanks Marinette, but I'm sure Luka doesn't want to be my therapist." Adrien chuckled but Luka shook his head.

"I don't mind. Hearing the music in others has given me quite the insight on people and the world. If you ever need a listening ear, I have two. Not elephant sized, but ready to listen."

Adrien's heart squeezed. No one had ever really listened to him, not since his mom disappeared, and having someone assure him that they would made something in him... break.

Clearing his throat a few times to clear the lump that was suddenly there, Adrien smiled weakly. "Thanks Luka. I, uh, I've got to- I'll see you guys later." Moving through the crowd, Adrien made a beeline for his bathroom where he was sure to find a quiet place to himself. Kim was still chilling in his tub so he went to his closet and settled against the wall. Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to steady himself.

How had one sentence affected him so much? It was such a small thing but it had such a profound effect. His heart was clenching and his eyes burning. He hadn't cried in such a long time that the tears on his cheeks felt foreign. He was glad that he'd gotten out of there in time. Crying wasn't something perfect Adrien would do in front others, according to Father. He'd been trying lately, trying so hard, to move away from his father's expectations and become his own person but, outside of Chat, it was still very hard to do. He seemed to follow those rules even when he wasn't really thinking about it. There were so many things he wanted to do and say without going behind his father's back but the more he tried to communicate with his father, the more Gabriel shut him down either with a reminder of his commitments or a busy, dismissive hand wave.

That's what frustrated Adrien the most. All he wanted to do was talk to his father, to Nathalie, to anyone and be heard- truly heard. Why wouldn't anyone listen to him?

"There you are." Adrien jumped and hastily wiped his face to see Luka standing at the door. "Mind if I come in?"

"No, come on in."

Luka entered, closed the door, and sat next to him on the floor. There was a short silence as they both adjusted to the other's presence and listening and feeling the music as it vibrated through the walls of the closet. The tension drained out of him the longer they sat there; Luka's normal calming aura seeping into him.

"Sorry if I startled you. We- Marinette and me- were worried so I wanted to come check on you."

"No, it's okay. I just didn't expect anyone to come into my closet."

"I more meant if my words earlier had hurt you in some way, but that too."

There was another short silence.

"But Adrien, I did mean what I said earlier." Adrien's eyes lifted and connected with Luka's. "If you want or need to talk, I'm here for you. No judgements, no strings, no pressure. I won't say anything to anyone else. Share as much or as little as you want. Or we can just sit here as long as you want if that helps more."

Adrien tried to keep it together, keep up that perfect picture, but the sincerity in the other boy's voice broke him, made it hard to pretend, and he made no move to stop the tears from trailing down his cheeks. "You... don't know how much that means to me." He sniffed and Luka moved closer to put a hand on his shoulder. "For now, can we just... sit here together? I don't want to be alone but I don't feel like talking."

"And that's perfectly okay. I'll stay."

So they sat there for five... ten... twenty minutes, listening to the music ebb and flow and change until Adrien was certain he wouldn't burst into tears anymore. Before re-entering the party, Adrien couldn't stop himself from throwing his arms around the slightly taller boy. Luka froze out of shock for a second before returning the hug.

"Thank you, Luka." He mumbled into his shoulder.

"Anytime, Adrien. Anytime."

They pulled away with a smile and went back into the bedroom just in time to see Alix perform a pretty awesome backflip off one of his ramps in her skates.

Eventually, the party wound down and Adrien was left alone in his clean but empty room. The sudden quiet felt so overwhelming and lonely and Adrien couldn't stand it. He also felt the same rawness from earlier seeping back into him and felt the urge to talk to someone.

Plagg was always good to talk to and lift his spirits, but Adrien could hear the kwami's distinct snore coming from the direction of the sock he slept in. Adrien wondered if there was anyone else he could talk to about his feelings when he remembered.

"Anytime, Adrien."

So Adrien pulled out his phone and scrolled to the number he'd gotten one afternoon during rehearsal. A breath of relief left him when the intended picked up after the first ring.

"Hey Luka. Can we... talk?"