OK, so this is my first fic in AGES!
I am actually in Germany right now, so I am really worried about my English, if you guys actually understand me. I hope you understand it, that it isn't too bad.
Next thing I want to point out. I haven't seen Blue Heelers since…a long time. Since July last year, because I am in Germany. So, please, ignore everything that has happened since then, as I don't know. I don't know what has happened, so therefore, it hasn't happened. OK?
Cool. We are all set.
I started writing this fic not really knowing where I was heading, but I have a bit of an idea now. Emotions can do a lot of thigns to you.
Let's save this, post it and see where I get to, with this fic.
Hope you like it, and please give me ideas,feedback, what I could do with the next parts etc etc.

Thanks. D

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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life", thought Amy, as she walked out of the Mount Thomas Police Station.
The people know about who you are, what you are. They know your past, they know how, when, why, who, everything.
Why did I let them in? Why did I let them know my secrets?
Surely everyone is entitled to having secrets. People are allowed to have things in their past they want to forget, aren't they? I mean, look at them all. Tom, Susie, PJ, Jonesy, Kirby. Who knows what they are still hiding?
Why didn't I just leave it, why couldn't I just forget about it?
Why did I have to be the stupid person I am, and say something, let it slip?
They just want to help you, said a voice in the back of her head. She immediately shut it out.
People who say that are just trying to get your trust. No one knows what they are going to do after that.

Amy started off on the walk to her room in the pub totally oblivious to the things around her. She was dissolved in thought, wondering to herself.

Gosh, you're such a weak one. Why do you have to let everything happen to you Amy? You're so stupid!

She walked past the houses that she helped protect every day, and as soon as she got to the pub and opened the door, a horrible cloud of cigarette smoke escaped form the pub.
Somehow that didn't annoy her quite so much anymore.
It used to make her shiver, and hold her breath, as she hated smoke, but now she breathed it in, and thought about how nice it would be to walk over to a table and grab a cigarette from a man's hand and smoke it.

She had never smoked in her life, in fact, the whole time she was totally against it.
But the thought of doing something new, something exciting, something different.

She was the same Amy for the last 30 years. Boring, predictable, same routine every day, just with a secret here and there.

As she walked through the bar, she heard the jolly laughs of PJ, and looked over at his table. He was sitting with Kirby and Susie. Alex had obviously just made a joke or something. The norm for him, making jokes over everything.
Of course, she thought. Jonesy is still at the station. Or, at least he was when I left. Glancing at her watch, she realised just how late it had gotten. Seemed to have been only a few minutes.
Some people say lonely, thougthful hours are long. But, it seems to be the opposite, she thought.

Jonesy must be trying to pull an all-nighter or something, trying to work on some case or another.
But maybe he was trying to avoid someone.

She was about to walk past the table when Alex yelled out to her, asking if she wanted a drink.

She took another glance at her watch, figured that it was already late enough, she wouldn't be able to get to sleep without a drink anyway, and drinking with someone is a lot better than drinking in secret in your room.

Gosh, why do you let yourself get open to these people? Why will you let them in? They already know too much! You are so dumb, so useless!

About two weeks ago, she drunk so much that she passed out in her room. She drunk it alone. She hadn't thought of it as a drinking binge, she thought of it as a way to sleep.

Yeah, sleep. Sleep is what that's called.

She was so alone, so depressed. She couldn't handle anymore, she just needed something to black out the pain. Something to make her forget the crappy life she was living, the crappy things she had done, and let done to her.

"Whaddya want?" Alex asked, nudging her on the arm to sit down.
She sat down, thought about it for a second and decided on something hard.
"Vodka."
Susie laughed.
"Since when do you drink Vodka? I thougth the hardest thing you have ever touched has been beer?" She asked, intended politely, but coming out a little harsh.
"Since forever. Since I said I want to drink Vodka" she retorted, harshly. Her face was a little screwed up, her hair was frizzled, from the countless times she had run her hand through her hair in her office, trying to figure out what was happening to her.

You're changing Amy. Who are you? I don't even know you anymore. You are such a stupid useless girl now. You know nothing about how the world works.

"Would you like something to eat?" Asked PJ. "You didn't eat any lunch, you are probably hungry by now.
He shot her a look of…what was that? Pity?
"No, I'm not hungry."
"Oh, you gotta eat something Ames." Susie encouraged.
"Since when am I a baby, who needs to be encouraged to eat?" She shot back, imitating the tone that Susie had used a few moments earlier.

They all sat back then. No one said anything for a while, until Chris came with the Vodka, and automatically put it in front of Alex.
Amy held up her hand and Chris realised that Amy wanted to drink it.
"What's with you? You don't drink that stuff."
"How come everyone is telling me who I am? How come you can't just leave me alone to make my own decisions, I am old enough, smart enough." Amy shouted, making the whole pub stare. She snapped up the drink, stood up, walked over to the stairs and stomped up them.

"What is up with her recently?" asked Chris, watching her in slienced awe.

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Well, that is it for now. What do you think? What do you think should happen, and everything would be appreciated.

Did you understand it? What was good/bad?

Feedback appreciated muchly! D

Thanks a lot.

Vera