Ch 13: It's delicious!
Disclaimer: Das Schwein sucht mich heim...und einige Leute denken, dass ich verrückt bin. Translation: The pig haunts me...and some people think I'm crazy.
"So... what's for dinner?" Edward asked their hostess curiously. Raven was loading her scooter back into the storage pod of the spaceship she came back from...well... space in. "Okay- the good news is that the food's ready. The bad news is that it's at my house and we have to go get it." The hostess closed the door to the storage pod. "All right! Everyone into the ship! Now!" Dib raised his hand. "Why?"
"Because we need to get there fast. And we need to leave this vicinity before the cops show up." Raven climbed into the pilot's seat and waited for them to follow. When everyone was in the ship (it was big enough to fit all of them) It was Danny's turn to ask a question. "How is it bad news that we're going to your house?" Raven sighed as they took off. "You'll find out in a moment." about five minutes later, they landed in a gravel driveway. "Everybody out!" shouted their hostess. They obeyed without question, and beheld the sight before them: grass surrounded a tan house with light green trimming like a moat as a concrete path led from the garage to the front door. Wherever there wasn't grass there was straw-yellow cheatgrass or bare ground. On the left side of the concrete path was an herb garden which consisted of thyme, rosemary, lemon thyme, woodruff, and sage to name a few. These herbs were most likely used in cooking. Chickens scattered this way and that as Edward, Dib, Brock and the others treaded across the moat of grass. "Why are there chickens here?" Asked The Monarch. "The neighbors had an overpopulation of chickens who moved over to our place. Well, the neighbors aren't complaining..." Familiar mews echoed from the backyard as five tiny, furry kittens emerged out of no where. "Sen! Fu! Voodoo! Pandora! Rosemary!" Raven petted the little fluff balls of cuteness as they rushed up to greet her. "Which one's which?" asked Dib. "The tabby with the white paws is Sen. The pure tabby is Fu. The black one is Voodoo. The grey one is Pandora, and the little black and white one is Rosemary." Edward gazed at Raven. "How do you remember their names?"
"I'm just as surprised at her as you are." Everyone looked up from the kittens (who, instantly getting bored, decided to run around the yard chasing each other. Yeah. They tend to do that a lot) At the doorway, wearing Pink Floyd pajama bottoms and a AC DC T-shirt was a woman who looked like an older version of Raven. She had the same green eyes as Raven, but the woman's hair was shoulder-length and brown with a dash of cinnamon and a wisp of winter in it.
"Mom" Raven uttered the loving title from her lips as she went over to her mother and gave her a hug (hey, I'm not ashamed to hug my mom in public. I'm moving out in a couple of years so I'm cherishing the time I have at home with my family) "I missed you."
"And I saw you on TV. I must say, I'm a little bit leery about that crazy guy-"
"Mom! He's under contract not to kill anyone on the show. We'll be fine." Just then, a roar filled the crisp air as a small white Subaru Justy pulled up. Out of the car came a girl taller than both Raven and her mother. Even though this girl looked nothing like Raven, you'd still swear that the two were sisters. The girl shot Raven a dark look. "Raven... YOU USED MY CONDITIONER AGAIN DIDN'T YOU?"
"WELL YOU USE MY SHAMPOO, SO DON'T YOU COMPLAIN TO ME!" Everyone's jaw dropped at how loud these two yelled at each other. YOU NEVER HELP ME TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM!"
"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO LEAVES THE TOWELS OUT!"
"CRY BABY!"
"BULLY!" And this wonderful dispute was settled the only way all sibling feuds that involve yelling are settled: duke it out in the living room WWF style!. Long story short, it ended in a tie, with Haruko referring. Raven, leaving with the food in a bad temper, went into the ship after loading the food in the storage chamber. "ALL OF YOU! GET INTO THE SHIP!" everyone, fearing retaliation, obeyed without question. As the ship rose, their hostess opened a portal. "Where are we going?" Ed asked. "We're going...to the feudal era!" Raven, forgetting her sister for the moment, said this in a melodramatic tone. With that, they were whisked away to feudal Japan. They crash-landed in a clearing deep in the woods. Out of the mess of arms and legs that were Dib, Anna, The Monarch, Zim, Danny, and Hauko, (the Box Ghost hovered placidly smug above everyone else) Edward spoke out. "I have a question; Why does your driving suck?" The now familiar twang! Of the iron wok Raven refused to part with rang throughout the spaceship. "If you guys didn't want to end up in a dog pile, all you had to do was WEAR. YOUR. SEATBELTS. They're there for a reason!" While trying to get up, Danny accidentally hit the "eject" button. Instantly, pawns in reality TV and their hostess was hurled from the ship. The food followed, hitting trees and bushes in their wakes. Raven immediently went to retrieve the food. She returned triumphant, carrying the plastic bowels that held their food. "Behold, the marvels of Tupperware!" She shouted to the heavens. Raven's battle cry echoed across the forest and reached the doggie ears of a certain half-human, half-demon.
That morsel of information set aside for future use, the gang gathered around a picnic table that somehow ended up in the clearing (let's just say that it was part of a teleportation experiment. The scientist in question failed because he really wanted to send the picnic table to the 70's for feminist protesters to stand on. How this has any relevance to the plot, I have no clue.) Anyhow, the table was set, the food was out, and everyone dug into the food. Well, almost everyone. "Zim! Why aren't you eating the baked beans?" Zim glared at Raven as he inquisitively poked the reddish blob of beans and the sauce they swam in with a fork. "How do I know that these beans won't burn my superior mouth? Huh? Zim demands to know!" Out of nowhere, Haruko loomed behind the Irken. Armed with a spoonful of baked beans, the manic, pink-haired alien shoved the spoonful into Zim's mouth, her smile the envy of a Cheshire cat. "Baked Bean Attack!" she shouted. Zim writhed in pain for about fifteen minutes(that's his reaction time)until he realized-
"Wait a second! These beans aren't burning me! And...(smacks lips) It's...delicious!"
"Must be the molasses. Yes'em." Raven recited in a southern drawl. Zim leaped onto the table, spilling the punch and tipping over the hush puppies (dear god no! Not the hush puppies!)
"Unhealthily skinny human! These baked beans are delicious!" In the background, Haruko was singing. "Delicious, nutritious, scraminitious, chalka knaka, pina colada-"
"Silence!" Zim shouted at Haruko, who ran off into some bushes. "Anyway, GIVE ME THE RECIPE!" an eerie silence filled the medieval air (you thought I was gonna say 'awkward' weren't ya?) "I can't "
"What?"
"I can't give you the recipe. It's a secret." Zim, infuriated beyond the fury of Hell, stepped on the defenseless hush puppies. "Dear God no! Not the Hush puppies!" Raven shouted. Her enhanced moment of melodrama was interrupted. Zim had picked up a lone, unsmashed hush puppy and threw it at Raven. It would have hit her square in the forehead had not a clawed hand snatched it from it's previously determined path. Everyone turned their heads to see a tall guy wearing a red kimono. He had dog-like ears protruding from his ghostly white hair. He sniffed at the greasy prize he held in his hand. "What's this? Smells good." The guy popped the hush puppy into his mouth. "SIT BOY!" In a flash of light, the kimonoed stranger flopped to the ground, as if meeting it for the first time after a fifty-foot drop. A girl in a Japanese schoolgirl uniform emerged from the bushes (not the bushes Haruko is currently hiding in.) "Inuyasha," she scolded, "What have I told you about eating other people's food when your not invited to eat with them?" Inuyasha turned over in the hole he made from his fall. "Wait until they invite you." He said in an annoyed tone of voice. Kagome smiled innocently. "Exactly."
(A/N: Hey Everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a LONG time- lots of stuff have been happening lately. I tried home-made hush puppies (hence my obsession displayed in this chapter), Went to a craft fair(few days ago in another town), is going to attend a craft fair tomorrow(I rented out a booth. Yep! Still aiming to sell jewelry!) Befriended the owner of a music store (she's pretty awesome for a woman in her 50's(I'm guessing).She's been playing guitar for 40 years!) And I learned to play 'Santa Lucia' and 'Ode to joy' on the keyboard. Anyways, I've made an important decision: After I finish up this story and "The Girl Who Came from All That Space" I'm going to temporarily retire from fanfiction and focus on writing a horror story. I have all of the ideas in my head, I just need to get it down on paper! Oh, and in case you were wondering, the disclaimer above is written in German(or was it Norwegian? I forgot which). Rocks! )