Ch 15: The Siege of House # 777
Disclaimer?
This time the gang remembered to strap on their seatbelts. It turns out that the engine wasn't broken; they just ran out of fuel. They were quite literally running on fumes when they crashed in the middle of a protest in the 70's. Hippies everywhere stared at the strange vehicle as Raven leaped out and ran into the crowd. "You! Human! Get back into this ship at once!" Zim demand was futile. "Look, there's something I really need to do. It's really important to me so just sit back until I return." The hippies approached. Raven handed Zim a boom box and cranked up the music that was playing. "Hippies hate Rock music" she explained to them. "They'll keep away so long as the batteries keep." And with that, Raven disappeared into the crowd. "What is that human up to?" Zim asked no one in particular (not even himself). After 45 minutes of waiting, Raven emerged (bringing a plastic milk carton filled with peanut oil), ducking into the driver's seat and taking off. "Peanut oil? Is that what was so important to you?" Raven flung the carton to Danny. "Of course not! We needed the peanut oil to get back to Nny's house. What I got was this." Raven took out of her pocket a string of beads. "A trip to the 70's is nothing, I repeat, Nothing , without getting love beads." Edward sighed to himself. "Half goth, half hippie. What a conflicting combination."
"Hey!" Raven shouted, "I prefer the term 'Bohemian'." A moment of silence persisted. A narcoleptic cow had been rendered unconcious when-. "Danny!" Raven snapped, "Empty the peanut oil into the fuel tank. We need that to get home." Danny stared at the carton with a bland fascination. "This thing runs on peanut oil?" He questioned. Their hostess nodded, "The manual said it was peanut oil compatible." Danny did as he was instructed, then returned to his seat. They were traveling at semi-light speed when a thought ran across Haruko's mind. "Where'd you get this ship anyway?" Raven blinked at the question. "For your information, I– ohཀ we're here." Their not-so-mechanically-inclined hostess crashed into the now familiar front yard of Jhonny C.'s house. "Hurry! Into the house! Now!" Raven seemed a bit edgy. Now this was highly impossible due to the fact that Raven detested coffee and anything else with caffeine in it. They were all in the house, by Raven's forcing them in, in ecaxtly 1.34 milliseconds. They started worrying when Raven started nailing the door shut, complete with two-by-fours. "What the hell is wrong with you?" The Monarch raised an antenna-like eyebrow. "Are you high or something?" He interrogated in a cynical manner. Raven, now finished, rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the wok and a stainless steel strainer. "They're coming. I don't know why, but...they're coming." Everyone gave Raven a puzzled look as she put on the strainer as if it was a helmet. Brock, having enough of the eccentric's escapades, decided to go to his room. "Who's coming?" asked Danny, almost hesitant for the answer. Raven looked up to the ceiling. The beads on Anna's necklace shuddered. Chupy, who was napping under the sink, emerged in a comatose state wondering what was going on. "The ninja lawyers." Raven uttered in an ominous tone. A hole broke in the ceiling, and throngs of business suit wearing, brief case carrying, lawsuit wielding ninja lawyers poured down from the sky and surrounded the gang. "Raven," Dib growled in a virulent tone, "If we come out of here alive- I'm going to kill you."
Meanwhile, Brock Samson had finally traveled down to the hallway where his room was located. His hand was on the knob when he heard a scream. He looked down the hallway to see a young man and a young woman running. "And you just wanted to rest! Well go ahead! Nap! I'll just be running like hell! YOU STUPID IDIOT!" The young woman(whom everyone who is familiar with the comic book Jhonny The Homicidal Maniac call Tess) yelled this at the young man(not so much familiar, but his name is Krik) who were both fleeing in terror from a monster. Now it's kinda hard to describe this monster, considering it looks more like a jumble of monsters than just one monster. Just picture what a bowel of spaghetti noodles would look like about one month after it's cooked(I know- it's pretty scary). Anyways, it stopped at the sight of Brock. It raised it's tentacles, as if issuing a challenge at Brock. He whipped out his survival knife, and the fight began.
"What?" Back upstairs, Raven was flabbergasted. "Why are you going to kill me?"
"Well, these ninja lawyers have to be here for some reason."
"I don't know why they're here!" One lone ninja lawyer emerged from the crowd. "You forgot to write the disclaimer for this chapter." It was as if a timer on a microwave went off in Raven's head. "Oh is that it? Wow, I thought I forgot something." Everyone in the room stared in dumbfounded disbelief. Edward pointed at the author. "You...ditz!" The ninja lawyers congregated into a football-like huddle.
"What should we do?"
"She forgot to write the disclaimer. Does that mean she's not liable for legal penalty?"
"Of course she's liable! Whether or not it was deliberate doesn't matter! She must answer for this crime!"
"Wait- shouldn't we be preparing our case for that serial killer caught in Central?"
"That can wait!"
"Hang on! I know what we can do! Let's just settle this in small claims court and charge her a fortune!"
"It's brilliant!"
"Capital!"
"Remunerative!"(def.- pay (someone) for services rendered or work done.)
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." The group dissolved. "Miss, I think we have a solution. We shall-"
"Flee! Flee the house!" Tess and Krik came running out from points unknown, screaming their heads off. "Has Nny been holding people hostage again? I thought the producer fixed that problem before the contract was signed-" Haruko's words were cut short. I mean really short. Edward's height was nothing compared to the stature of those words-
CRASH! The monster emerged, Brock entangled but still putting up a good fight. He slashed at the monster with the survival knife, and greenish gloop splurged from the beast. It's equivalent of blood showered everyone, even the ninja lawyers. In a panic, the ninja lawyers whipped out their briefcases. In place of case files, there were weapons that every ninja lawyer is trained from birth to use: kunai knives, shurikein blades, and, the most important, restraining order forms Every one of the ninja lawyers threw kunai knives or shrikeins this way and that. And in all of that confusion, the fight (once again)began.
(A/N: He he, you guys thought I was gone for good right? Wrong! I complete all of my stories, no matter how long it takes of how lazy I get! Except for one story: The Girl Who Came From All That Space. I repetitively apologize for that story- It's getting too serious for my liking! Therefore, I am eliminating it from the site! Bwahahahahahaha! I love destroying! Ahem, anyways, the next chapter will definitely be the last one! I don't know if it's gonna be longer of shorter than the regular chapters, but I guarantee a guest star! Hint: he has faced aliens, the antichrist, giant dust mites, senile relatives, droves of zombie-like classmates and lived to tell the tale!)