"Like Gallifrey, Professor?"
"Oh yes. But we were one of the last."
- The Doctor and Ace
"What happened?" asked the Doctor.
Livia laughed. Bitter and wretched. "What do you think? Gallifrey burned. The Time Lords burned." Her face was twisted, ugly; an effort to control her emotions, control herself, he didn't know. "Yet here you stand, and I see you've regenerated. Still got your TARDIS, though I hear she's currently incapacitated. I suppose that's something." She slumped back against the wall. "Why couldn't you just have let me be? Why would I possibly want to remember?"
"Because I need your help."
"That girl? That stupid, human girl? That's all you thought about isn't it? Some little human that you're infatuated with?" She looked at him, disbelief. Wanting some other answer.
The Doctor stared at the cave floor, collecting himself. "How did you survive?"
Livia smiled, it barely touched her lips. Her eyes blank, looking through him, remembering. "I was at the edge of the fleet, I saw the…saw it approaching. Saw what it did. Didn't even think about what would happen to me later. Surrounded by all that medical equipment, the solution seemed simple enough. I destroyed my symbiotic nuclei, severed the link to my TARDIS and transmatted to the nearest planet habitable atmosphere."
The Doctor spoke very quietly. "Sounds simple."
"Yes, it does." She stepped forward. She was shaking. "No-one else on that TARDIS would agree to do it though. I don't know if anyone else in the fleet even had the choice given the equipment required, the…expertise to rip out a part of yourself." Another step. "But that was the price, Doctor. I gave up my heritage, my ability to regenerate, my ability to travel through time. I'm blind, Doctor. Limited to the same senses given to these humans. Limited to this world, this time. But as you so kindly reminded me, I still have two hearts. So I'll never forget everything that you took from me."
"You didn't have-"
"Yes I did! It was that or die, Doctor!" She took a deep, sobbing breath. "And I didn't want to die. Not when I knew how to save myself." She looked at him, her eyes fierce. "And Time is so very vengeful when roused; there was no other way to hide from her wrath. Yet I see that she did not touch you, Doctor. What did you do? Make another deal? Sell her another soul?"
He was suddenly angry, defensive. Not guilt, oh not guilt, he'd had that long enough and he'd let it go. He'd let go now too. "What about you? What are you doing on Earth, right smack in the middle of an invasion?"
"This planet is always being invaded! And I didn't exactly have a choice, I'm stuck here, Doctor. Stuck here thanks to you." She shook her head. "And damn it, I was alright until you brought these memories back. I could have lived with it." She took a gulp of air, tried to calm her breathing, spoke quietly. "I could have lived with it."
"I'm-
"Don't," she snarled. "Don't you dare say you're sorry."
He stilled his own emotional reaction. "You're alive."
"Is that what you call this?" She held her hands out in front of her. Spread her long, pale fingers, stared at them. "I can barely tell. It's like this all the time for them, and I don't know how one can live like this."
"If you blocked your memories once…"
She shook her head. "I didn't."
The instant thought, another piece. He asked, "Who did?" Another beat, another thought. "And Earth's a long way from Gallifrey, how did-"
"-does it matter? It was a mercy."
"Of course it matters, Livia. Someone stole your memories."
"I didn't want them!" she snapped. "For pity's sake, can you leave nothing alone? Why must you always interfere? It was better before, Doctor. It was better and you've taken the last scrap of hope that I had left. Just let me be."
He swallowed, spoke carefully, afraid she really would, finally, break. "I can't."
A soft laugh. "Ah, of course, your little human. You want me to save her for you."
"Can you do it?" he asked, suddenly afraid that after all this, he would still have nothing, and perhaps a little less.
She stared at him for a long moment, her eyes like glass. He wondered at the effort of will it took her, but as he watched she seemed to piece herself back together. A tarnished version of the woman he remembered from the war stood in front of him. She nodded. "Of course I can. Unlike you, I am a doctor."
"Will you help her?"
She tilted her head, amused almost, a cruel amusement. "More than anything else in the universe, I want to see you dead, Doctor. What in Rassilon's name makes you think that I'd be willing to help your friend?"
"If that's what it takes to save Rose," he said.
She frowned. "What d'you mean?"
"You have the gun. Go ahead. Shoot me. If that's what it takes to save Rose."
She laughed, cold but genuine. "Oh, you really are the perfect tragic hero, aren't you? Doctor, I may want to see you dead, but I have no desire to kill you. I'm no murderer." She sighed, soft, resigned. "And I am a doctor. I'll help your friend, but don't you dare thank me."
In fact, Livia had only a single condition for saving Rose's life, and that was that the Doctor was to stay out of the medical wing while she worked. A little distant, though friendly to the humans she knew, she asked Harry to assist and Professor Shaw, intrigued, asked to watch.
The Doctor sat in the mess hall, a cold mug of tea in his hands. He stared at the pale liquid, and Jack left him to it, alternately checking in on Rose and explaining to Bambera's troops how they could put together a glitter gun. As well as constructing another scanner so they'd be able to locate enough gold to load their new weapons.
Eventually, he didn't have anything else to do. So he came and sat by the Doctor, refusing to acknowledge that he probably would still rather be left alone with his cold tea. "S'going well in surgery," Jack said, a nice, safe opening gambit.
"Don't doubt it," came the monotone reply.
"Some good reports coming in from London. They've got electronics functioning on the surface again. Looks like the Cybermen shut down their suppression field. Might even be pulling back."
"Great."
But Jack wasn't that easily dissuaded. He tried again, "She really one of your people?"
"Yeah."
"Seems pretty pissed off at you."
"Got every right to be." He let go of the tea, looked at Jack. "Thought I'd be relieved if I ever found out anyone else had survived." He closed his eyes, leaned back. "I'm so tired. How did we get here?"
"That a philosophical question?" The Doctor's eyes snapped open, and Jack didn't like the look he got, so he hurried on. "Some stupid argument about families. Rose wanting to get some stuff. Seems a while ago now. Doesn't seem to matter much either."
"Oh, it's going to. This is her world, broken. She gets better and she's going to find she'll never be able to go home again."
Jack managed not to grin. This wasn't a joke. "None of us can, so the song says."
"But she wanted to. Or at least she wanted to be able to think she could. Now she's probably never even going to find out what happened to her mother. Her friends. And if she does, it's probably not going to be pleasant."
"She's a big girl, Doctor."
He was quiet, taking another moment to contemplate the mysteries of his cold tea. "We're going to have to start looking for diving equipment."
The door opened. Harry. Jack gave him a wave and he quickly joined him, seemed more upbeat than Jack had ever seen him before. Spoke with a smile. "She's alright. Rose, I mean. She's going to need a few hours of…actually I'm not sure what it is, but Livia sounded terribly confident that she'd be right as rain in a few days, if a bit tired."
"Good job, Harry," said Jack, grinning. "Can we go see her then?"
"Ah…" He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. A glance at the Doctor.
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Go see her , Captain, I'll be okay."
"You sure?"
"I'll be along when she's not, okay? Be best for everyone."
It would be longer than the Doctor thought before he saw Rose. Livia was a conscientious doctor and did not leave her patient's side until she was certain she was stable. Though what had happened to the Time Lords had stolen so much of her heritage she still had the two hearts that taunted her, and she still had the increased strength and stamina that they gave her. It would be some time before she needed to sleep.
But when she did sleep, it was in the office outside Rose's room. She would not give up her vigil. The desk was uncomfortable, but the lights were dim and she was exhausted.
It was so quiet. And when, finally, she thought she heard something, she believed, at first, that it was nothing more than a part of a dream.
"Livia."
She didn't recognise the voice, but it knew her. It was all around her. Creeping across her skin.
She was out of the chair and turning around the room, searching. "Who's there?" she asked, not allowing her own voice to betray her tiredness, or her fear.
"Livia." Softer, closer.
"What do you want?" she demanded.
But she could see nothing, and she was so very, very tired.
The door creaked open, and it was enough to wake her. "Didn't I make myself clear?" asked Livia, seeing the Doctor wander in and not even bother to look guilty.
"I've given you more than enough time to clear out," he said.
"This is my surgery," she told him.
"I'll just let Bambera know about that, shall I?"
She sighed, got up, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "I was only asleep a few…" She glanced at her watch. "Alright, a few hours, but still, patience is a virtue."
"That's a human saying."
"And we're on Earth. I've got nothing against humanity, Doctor." She stretched her arms, let herself yawn. "She's doing well. Everything went to plan. Give her another six hours on my stunningly reconstructed life support system and she will be just fine."
The Doctor nodded. "Congratulations."
"Your gratitude is overwhelming."
"I thought you didn't want it."
"I don't." She sighed. "I need some coffee."
"Can I see her?"
"What if I say no?"
"At least I asked."
"Oh, stop trying to be polite and go in. Just don't touch anything."
The Doctor nodded, opened the door. Instantly he spun, snapped, "Livia!"
"Mmm?" She turned back, decided that she needed coffee much more than another round with the Doctor and resolved to ignore whatever it was that he complained about next.
"She's gone."
Apart from that.
She ran back into the room. Livia shook her head, the bed was empty, the modified life support equipment functioning but hooked up to nothing.
"Rose is gone," repeated the Doctor.