Sasuke is Fair Game: Revised
Summary: The girls on hitting on him. The guys are hitting on him. Sasuke just wants to be alone. So what's the angsty genuis do? Why he sings to prove that he's not into guys, of course. One-shot
A/N: Yeah... I'm screwed up, I know. But alas, that's not my point. The song is I wish I was queer so I could get chicks, and I'm so not trying to offend anybody, I just thought it was funny as hell. And it'll end up as a yaoi story, just I don't know with who. Plus, I've reloaded it because there were a few problems with it.
Couples: Everyone/Sasuke (wow, Sasuke's a little whore, ne?)
Revised on July 14, 2006: I just changed a few things to make it a one-shot. Sorry for my two reviewers that wanted me to continue it... it's just a one chapter thing (sweat drops) um... enjoy!
Chapter 1: I wish I was queer so I could pick up chicks
The mircophone gave a loud amount of feedback as Sasuke cleared his throat. "For all those who think I'm queer, a.k.a gay for you idiots, I'm not. Okay! This will explain everything, so listen up folks." Sasuke said, annoyed. Everyone stopped what they were doing, hey, he was the last semi-sane Ucihia left.
"My friend Naruto-teme kissed me cause Kakashi said we passed
Later in the afternoon Shikamaru, in the bathroom, tapped my ass
I said dude I'm not like that I like violence, you
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could pick up chicks
Dig guys that are queer
Guys that don't dig chicks
That don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too creepy
But if I were smoother just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the med-nin industry
Scoring with a sexy nurse would be easy
Cause 'sexy nurse' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'preoccupied'
You see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd lie
To become that trusted friend that rubs her back and braids her hair
No, it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could pick up chicks
Dig guys that are queer
Guys that don't dig chicks
That don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too creepy
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not too keen on the idea of incest
No I'm not Marufuji(1) and I don't wanna be Itachi's best
I just wish I was queer so I could pick up chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Kiba or Shino
Hang out with Sakura's hair stylist, his name is Neji, he won't even pity screw Ino
And wear Hinata's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Gai-sensei and Rock Lee's ballet
I wish I was queer so I couldpick upchicks
Dig guys that are queer
Guys that don't dig chicks
Dig guys that are queer
Guys that don't dig chicks
Dig guys that are queer
Guys that don't dig chicks
That don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too creepy
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too creepy"
Everyone stared at Sasuke who blinked at them all blankly. The girls all squealed in delight at the rumors being cleared, and the guys of the village... well they were pissed.
"Sasuke-teme, you're going to be mine by next months end, believe it!" Naruto pumped a fist into the air and Sasuke's eye twitched,
"Hn... Sasuke wants someone who will take care of him, and that lovely silken black hair."
"Che... it may be troublesome, but it'd be worth it, if Sasuke's heart is the prize." Shikamaru said as Rock Lee bounded out,
"No! It shall be I, Rock Lee, to tame the YOUTHFUL SASUKE! So back off Neji!" Said Hyuuga boy glared as soon there was a glaring contest.
"Didn't you hear? Sasuke-kun is straight, that means it's just me and Ino-pig in this race!" Sasuke shuddered and walked away as fast as he could, hoping no one would see him.
"Fuck... this may turn out worse then I thought...shit..."
A/N: So random and OOC, I'm sorry. But I don't want any flames please... and I do own the paraody version of this song, I made it up from my head folks. If you actually read the whole thing over, you'll notice that I changed a few of the lyrics, they seem to fit better to me. Anyway please review!
(1)- Ryu Marufuji is Zane Truesdale of Yu-Gi-Oh GX! And... um... I kind of have this thing about him being hot for his brother, Sho Marufuji/Syrus Truesdale. So ano... yeah... that's what that's all about.