April Fool's!
As Teal'c sat down, his chair emitted an odd sound, at which several heads turned to stare at the Jaffa. Raising an eyebrow coolly, he turned his gaze from his companions across the table and removed a round, flat, pink-colored cushion of sorts from underneath his bottom.
After examining it slightly, he glanced at O'Neill and raised his eyebrow again. "What is the meaning of this, O'Neill?" he asked.
The colonel attempted to act innocent, though his charade was quite transparent. "Wha--? You think I had something to do with this?"
"Indeed," Teal'c replied evenly.
"Well, I--I had nothing to do with this," O'Neill still protested.
"Yeah, right, Jack," Daniel Jackson said sarcastically.
"I still do not understand the purpose of this," Teal'c held up the once-flat but now growing object again, "object."
"It's called a whoopie cushion, Teal'c," Carter explained. "It's a prank. Today is April Fool's Day."
Again, Teal'c's eyebrow rose. "The Tauri have a special day for fools?"
Carter gave a light sigh and appeared to be restraining herself from laughter. "No, it's not really about fools. It's just a day where people play tricks on each other for fun." Major Carter fixed her CO with a stare as she said, "It's really quite juvenile."
O'Neill protested. "Hey!"
"Indeed, it is quite juvenile," Teal'c agreed, handing the whoopie cushion back to the colonel. "Why anyone would wish to participate in a foolish holiday is not within my understanding."
Again, Colonel O'Neill argued. "It's not juvenile, it's fun!"
"Well, this looks promising," General Landry said sarcastically, reading SG-1's latest report on an Ori-overrun world. "Great news on April Fool's Day." With his eyes still glued to the open folder, he found his way to his chair at the head of the briefing table with the previously mentioned team sitting elsewhere along the table. The minute his rear touched the chair, a loud flatulent sound was heard throughout the briefing room.
As the General froze and his jaw clenched, the members of SG-1 attempted to keep themselves from laughing. From Colonel Carter, there were chopped off chuckles that she repressed enough that the General didn't hear. Doctor Jackson's jaw was firmly shut against the laughs that wanted to escape, and Colonel Mitchell was having definite trouble keeping the chuckles inside.
Teal'c had little trouble, and all that was seen from him was the slow raising of his eyebrow as always and the slightest quirk at the edges of his mouth.
Slowly Landry's eyes rose from the report to stare at the team members who quickly recomposed themselves. One of the General's hands brought the whoopie cushion out from underneath him and after glancing at it, he shook it at his subordinates around the table.
"Very funny." His tone was anything but humorous.
Near the table's end, Mitchell once again struggled to keep his mouth shut. Quickly, the General's eyes narrowed at him. "Colonel, do you know who did this?" His eyes travelled slowly around the table taking in the way Carter bit her lip, Daniel Jackson's tightly clenched jaw (though the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes let the General know he was straining to keep it that way) and Teal'c's cool indifference.
"No... sir..." he replied, wrestling even harder not to laugh.
"Mitchell!" the general thundered.
Quickly Mitchell's inner chuckles died. "I swear I didn't do it, sir!" he protested quite honestly.
Landry wasn't so believing. He gestured the rest of the team from the room as he said, "The rest of you are free to go for the moment."
Teal'c rose slowly and nodded his acknowledgement. Once he was outside of the room, he smiled to himself.
He'd never even been under consideration.
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