Disclaimer: I wanted to say I own nothing, but my psychiatrist has told me it's not good to deny the fact I own some werewolf-hunters…

Hunted

Chapter 7: One Step Forward…

That evening, while they were eating dinner, Tonks kept shooting nervous glances towards Remus over the fire. She was determined to not let him get out of the talk she had planned to have with him, but she had no idea how he would react.

She put down her bowl, feeling her stomach turn with nervousness.

Or that may be due to the fact that I don't really like soup made of freshly dug tree-roots and the bones and flesh of rabbit.

The appetizing soup ingredients, along with some deer, of which large parts of flesh were now roasting above the fire, were all they had been able to gather. The deer alone would have satisfied a seasoned hunter, but then Grawp was eating with them and he ate like a…well, like a giant.

When they finished, Hagrid and Grawp immediately started to prepare for the night. They scooped some snow together off to one side of the fire, creating a small wall. Then they flattened the hard, frozen ground they had cleared and curled up, covered by an enlarged blanket that Remus had brought with him from his hut.

When it became apparent that Tonks, unlike other nights, wasn't joining them, Grawp turned to her.

"Tonk come?"

Tonks shook her head. "No, there's something I have to do first, Grawp."

Grawp seemed a bit disappointed, but didn't say anything more.

Tonks cast a glance in Remus' direction. He was still sitting in the same spot, staring into the fire and lost in thought, or so it seemed from Tonks' vantage point next to where Grawp and Hagrid had settled for the night. Looking around the campsite, she realized she had no idea where Firenze was. Probably off on some secret centaur-business or something like that. Tonks shrugged it off and turned her full attention on Remus.

This is it, if I don't go talk to him now, I'll probably keep putting it off forever, she thought, watching him. He looks really cute, just the way he's sitting there. She quickly shook her head. Now's not the right time for those kinds of thoughts, Nymphadora Tonks…

But he does look cute.

She inwardly rolled her eyes at herself and the two arguing voices in her head, which sounded remarkably like her mother and a teenage version of herself.

Gathering her courage, she straightened herself and approached Remus.

000

Remus had seen Tonks coming out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't help jumping a little when she sat down next to him and called his name. Trying his best to ward of a blush and scolding himself for his reactions, he turned to her. "Hello, Tonks."

"We have to talk, Remus." She studied him intently. "I want to know what's going on."

"I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Oh, no," she interrupted him quickly. "You're not going to escape this conversation. Not this time. You've been avoiding me since we left Transylvania and I want to know why."

"I'm not avoiding you."

Tonks sat up straighter in indignation and shock. What? She gaped at him for a moment, until she had recovered enough to defend her statement.

"You're acting all nervous around me!" she exclaimed, stammering a little while still collecting her thoughts.

The accusatory tone of her voice didn't escape Remus and he winced.

"You always have some excuse or other to escape whenever I try to talk to you, Remus," she continued, her voice losing its previous sharpness.

She studied his face for a moment, but he carefully kept it neutral.

"Did I do something to upset you?"

"Nothing is wrong, Tonks."

"Don't lie to me!"

Remus looked up sharply and met Tonks' fixing glare. A few moments passed in which they tried to stare each other down. When it became apparent that Tonks wasn't going to let this go, Remus' jaw clenched and it a cloud passed over his eyes as they darkened from clear blue to stormy sky. The almost feral look betrayed his anger.

How can she ask me why I've been avoiding her while she's the one who's been hanging out with that bloody giant!

"I don't think you have much right to speak here, Nymphadora," he spat. "You've been hanging out with dear old Grawp so much you barely seem to notice I'm here!"

Tonks gasped and recoiled a bit, as if she had just received a slap in the face. She stared at him for a moment, anger and hurt written all over her face, before answering quietly.

"For your information, Remus, I've been trying to talk to you, but since you keep pushing me away, I decided it might be better to leave you alone. Grawp happens to be my friend, and at least he appreciates my attention."

Her voice shook a little and her breathing was jagged. Her face, which had been flushed a few moments earlier, had now paled considerably and she was quickly blinking her eyes against the angry tears that were welling up in them.

The obvious hurt made Remus' heart twist with guilt. He wished he could take back everything he'd said, but it was too late for that and it wasn't really his fault in the first place. She had started this. She had trapped him and made him feel like a caged animal. He had only been defending himself, really. What does she want from me anyway?

He could hear her take a deep, shuddering breath before continuing.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don't like being treated like I'm a dangerous creature? That maybe I'm hanging out with Grawp this much because you're pushing me away?"

A heavy silence hang between them for a moment, while her words echoed in Remus' head. Suddenly all his anger left him and he only felt totally exhausted.

"I know," he finally answered quietly, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry, Tonks. You're not the dangerous creature here. I am."

Tonks' previous anger immediately dissipated and her eyes widened as she realized what she'd just said. She swallowed and tried to put her hand on his arm in comfort, but he quickly pulled away from her. Me and my big mouth, why do I always say the wrong things at the wrong time? Well done, Nymphadora Tonks, one step forward and two steps back.

"I'm sorry, Remus, I didn't mean it like that."

A heavy silence fell between them, in which Tonks tried to find something, anything, to say.

"You never really told me what happened while you were in that cell at the Bleeding Calf."

He didn't answer her. He simply returned to staring into the fire; every expression disappeared off his face and a blank look took over his eyes. Tonks could feel a sudden sense of foreboding settle inside of her.

"Please Remus, tell me what they did to you," she pleaded.

After another long silence, he finally answered, whispering and unable to look at her.

"When the hunters came to me, they had your diary with them. Michael Vastatore read parts out of it to me and then they laughed about it." Tonks' eyes widened, the sense of foreboding growing even stronger.

Remus continued. "He said you were in love with me, that you've been searching for me for years."

Remus turned his head to look at her again, the expression on his face somewhere between hopeful and desperate.

"Is that true?"

"It's true," Tonks whispered, her heart suddenly hammering like mad in her chest. "I love you."

Remus returned to staring in the fire, which was still happily burning in front of them. "They laughed. They said it was funny, because you can't expect a werewolf to have human feelings." His voice died away when he said the last words, but Tonks had still managed to catch them and gasped as everything started to make sense to her.

"Don't tell me you believe them, Remus. I'd think you know yourself well enough to know that isn't true."

He shrugged.

"Remus…"

"I know," he interrupted her, "I've felt enough 'human' feelings in my life." The cynical way in which he spoke the word 'human' didn't escape her, and she knew he was thinking about James and Lily and Sirius, and the pain that had come with losing them.

"It's just…" He sighed. How can I tell her this, without breaking her heart? "I can't be in a relationship with you right now."

Another silence, before Tonks quietly answered. "With everything that's happened and is still going on, I can understand if you're not ready."

He nodded. "I've been away from people for so long, I guess I'll have to get used to it again now. I'm sorry for hurting you, Tonks. I'll try my best to not push you away anymore."

She smiled at him. "Good, then I'll forgive you. Remember, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

She paused for a moment and covered his hand with hers, then continued softly. "And when you're ready, I'll be right here waiting for you."

He shifted uncomfortably, momentarily at a loss for words, he only knew he wanted to put an end to this conversation. Finally he settled on "Thanks, let's get some sleep now."

Tonks smiled and nodded, then conjured some blankets and curled up right next to Remus. The gesture left him torn between joy and discomfort, but he soon relented and decided just to be grateful for her presence at the moment.

Some time later, after everyone else had drifted off to sleep and the loud quiet of the deep woods surrounded them, Remus lay awake, unable to sleep, as guilt crept over him.

He hated lying, especially to someone he cared so much about, but Tonks had given him a way out and he had simply followed her lead. And after all, it wasn't really a lie, more like only a little part of the truth. He definitely wasn't ready for a relationship right now. But on the other hand, he was starting to think that he might never be ready. And what's more important? I'm a werewolf, I attacked her once before. How can I ever subject her to that? I'm just too dangerous.

000

The next day dawned bright and early. Even though it was still winter, the sun was shining happily, and because they had already made a considerable progress south, it wasn't as cold as it had been.

The five friends had a quick breakfast, which consisted of the rest of yesterday's dinner, during which Remus and Firenze discussed how long it would take them to reach the Greek border.

Tonks and Grawp's impromtu game of 'I Spy' ended when Tonks tired of Grawp always spying things she couldn't possibly see. She turned her attention instead to Remus and Firenze.

Not long after that, the travellers gathered their things and resumed their journey to Greece.

Unlike most of the previous days, Tonks had declined Grawp's offer to ride on his shoulder. She could always get a lift later when she became tired. For now, she preferred walking next to Remus and, although they didn't talk much, he seemed to appreciate her company.

In fact, that morning, for the first time since they started on this journey, they had managed several full conversations without once bringing up painful subjects and without the usual awkward silences falling between them.

Come to think of, it's actually the first time since we saw each other again that we've managed to just exchange some small talk and have a normal, friendly conversation.

Tonks was grateful they had cleared things out a bit between them. Now they finally had a real chance to get acquainted again.

And who knows where we go from here.

I know where I want it to go, but by now I also know there's no use in trying to force things.

At least now, they could be something like friends again and for now, that was enough for Tonks.

I guess I'll have to see what happens next. But I hope it's something good.

000

Please review…

A/N: I know, I know, it's been far too long since I updated this, but I hope this chapter can make up to that.

I have also some good news I want to share: I've finally found a beta. Her penname is lolamadrid and she's the one you all have to thank for making this chapter as good as it is now. Many thanks to lolamadrid!

I'll also do my best to update faster, you won't have to waittwo months to read the next chapter, I promise.