Chapter 8: The Cat's Out of the Bag

House limped into the diagnostics department. He sat his bag down on the conference table and picked up a whiteboard marker.

"Morning all," he said brightly to his team. "What are we dealing with today?" Cameron consulted her notes.

"Stabbing victim is recovering but has some unexplained symptoms. We can expect the cops to pay us a couple of visits."

"Perfect," House muttered. "Shoot. What are these unexplained symptoms?" Cameron told him the information and Chase said something but then remained silent. Foreman was staring strangely at House. "Not gonna contribute, Foreman? And why are you staring at me like that? Look, I know I'm sexy, but please, hit on a girl." Foreman turned his head away irritably.

"Sorry," he said, looking back at House. "It's just; I can't concentrate until I've got something cleared up." Chase flashed his eyes warningly at Foreman and then pretended he was invisible.

"I'm straight, if that's what you were wondering."

"Yeah, I know," Foreman shot at him as if that was the problem he was getting at. House raised a quizzical eyebrow at him. Foreman sighed and looked away again for a split second. When he looked back he was calmer. "It's just… Yesterday, I went to see Dr Cuddy about something and… you were there, so I waited and then Chase showed up –"

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Chase protested. Foreman ignored him.

"– and we both waited, and we couldn't help noticing… We saw everything." House knew exactly what he had seen, but it didn't register on his face. He looked weirdly at Foreman.

"Right," he said slowly. Bad idea. Foreman snapped.

"You kissed her!" he blurted out. Cameron's eyes went wide. "Several times," he added significantly with a self-satisfied expression. Chase covered his face with a shielding hand. House straightened; his face as well.

"So?" he said. "What are you going to do about it?" Cameron's jaw dropped but no one noticed her. "I hope that you're satisfied and can now do your job, Foreman. 'Cause I want you to do your job. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, he can," Chase intersected. Foreman glared at him.

"So," he said. "You and Cuddy?"

"So, you and Cuddy?" House mimicked in a higher voice. "Yes," he barked. "Now shut up and give me information."

Later in the day, House lounged around in his office at his desk. Wilson lay on the couch and threw a ball to him. House caught it casually and threw it back.

"Wanna know some hot hospital goss?" House asked.

"Um, are we talking about General Hospital goss? 'Cause you know I watch the show too. Although, I never found out what happened to that blonde girl, whatsername in the coma."

"No. Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital goss. I just figured, we're buddies. And I am a sad cripple who always has to tell his bestest buddy everything."

"But you don't."

"OK then. I don't confess to you. I brag to you when I feel extremely arrogant." He caught the ball. "I have scored a hot hospital babe." Wilson gaped.

"Not Cameron?"

"No," House snorted. "I'm insulted.

"Yeah, sorry." Wilson shrugged. "Oh my God!" He spun his head around and gaped at House again. "It's Cuddy, isn't it?" House grinned.

"Yep." Wilson sat up on the couch and spun around.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he accused.

"I just did."

"How long?"

"Well, let's see," House thought. "Two weeks ago we got drunk and screwed. A week ago we screwed again. Sober," he added. "And last night we confessed our undying love to each other and decided to try our hands at a relationship." He grinned at Wilson.

"So, you've slept together three times and you're starting a relationship?"

"Twice," he corrected. "She had to work last night. But otherwise, yep." Wilson stared at House. Then he started to laugh.

"You're screwing with me," he said.

"No. I'm screwing with Cuddy."

"No you're not! You're pulling my leg, aren't you?" This is a joke."

"No Jimmy, it isn't," House assured him clearly as if speaking to a child.

"Prove it." Wilson crossed his arms.

"What? You want me to go up and kiss her or something?" he suggested, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That'd be a start, yes. I don't believe you anyway."

"Jeez, next you're gonna wanna watch us fuck." Wilson stood up. He gestured towards the door.

"Come on, Dr House. Show me you love this woman," he commanded dramatically. House stood up and shoved him out of the way. He limped out into the corridor.

"Hurry up, Wilson, if you wanna see this." Wilson followed him quickly, intrigued by all this. He was really curious.

They found Cuddy in the clinic near the reception desk. She looked busy and hurried. House grinned. And sexy. He limped towards her. She turned around when she saw him coming.

"Afternoon, Dr House," she said absently, sifting through papers, "What can I do for you?" Her attitude was spotlessly professional. He reached her.

"Kiss me," he whispered quickly. She froze and her eyes widened at him. Wilson smirked from behind them. This was going to be good. "Kiss me or I'll kiss you," he threatened. The clinic was crowded. The waiting room was full of patients, nurses and doctors strutted around in every direction and the desk next to them was staffed.

"House, can't we talk about this later?" she pleaded silently.

"I'm not talking about talking, I'm talking about kissing," he explained under his breath. He moved closer to her so that nobody could hear. "Do it," he muttered. "Do it now or I will." She didn't move.

"Go away," she hissed at him from between her teeth.

He grabbed the back of her neck with his free hand and kissed her, long and deep and with lots of tongue. Wilson's jaw dropped which wiped the smug look off his face. The rest of the clinic froze. Nurses and doctors stopped in their tracks and stared as House kissed their Hospital Administrator. It appeared to them that she was letting him stick his tongue down her throat. The clerk at the desk raised her eyebrows. Most of the patients watched too even if they didn't know the two famous and somewhat infamous doctors. It was kissing, what did they care? Several of them clapped and one teenage boy whistled loudly. This made a lot of the other patients start clapping and cheering too.

House broke away from Cuddy. She opened her eyes and they flashed angrily at House. Then she stormed away in a huff. The patients had already lost interest and were back to coughing and biting their nails. A couple of nurses exchanged a look and then went back about their business too. The clerk glared at House who turned around and took a bow for Wilson. Wilson doubled over laughing, absolutely astounded. House limped back to him and they walked out of there.

"Well, I think I might believe you now. She certainly closed her eyes. So, you and Cuddy were together, eh?"

"Are together," House corrected.

"Ah yes. You may just have ruined that. Did you see the look on her face? Icy. She does have a reputation, you know? And, unlike you, she does care what people think. You may just have lost her, House."

"We'll see about that," he said confidently. "Cuddy can't resist me."

"Uh huh," said Wilson sceptically.