Disclaimer: I don't think J.K. ever went by Knight-Fox. So there. And the lullaby belongs to Disney, because it's from Mary Poppins.

A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews, don't worry… I know Sirius is out of character. I sort of made him into Snape's worst nightmare. He is still his prankster self, but with James' arrogance. I almost wrote this story from James' point of view, but when I'm just exploring like this it was so much more fun to play with Siri, my dog star. I tried to make this chapter a little different, switch things up a bit. Remember, I am writing this for my entertainment first and foremost, and I know that. So, if you like it, that's great! I'm glad I could brighten someone's day. If you don't like it for some reason, come up with an idea you think is better and write your own story. How do you think I started writing all my JL fics? If you do that, don't hesitate to send me the story. I don't bite. And review, because I cannot practice legilimency and I do NOT know what you thought of it from reading your mind! O.K., my rant is over. ONWARD!

Witch.

Lily took the extremely tired looking baby out of James' arms and began to sing a muggle lullaby. I pouted. Two-Shoes always seemed to find a way to insult me despite the fact that I'm the bomb. O. K., so maybe I'm not THAT amazing…

…Nah. But I am humble!

"Stay awake

Don't rest your head

Don't lie down upon your bed

While the moon drifts in the skies,

Stay awake…

Don't close your eyes."

I was really tired for some reason, but I didn't let that stop me. "Great job Two-Shoes. Reverse psychology always works on 6-month-olds." This statement earned me a couple of scathing looks from my friends.

"I'll just… I'm just going to…" A huge yawn took control of my face and almost dislocated my jaw. I swear it lasted at LEAST a full minute.

Hare- Bare seemed to find this amusing.

I was just really tired. I wanted to fall down on the couch and drift away…

Oooo Sometime Early the Previous Year oooO

"O.K. Everybody!" I yelled to the noisy living room that belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Potter. I swayed a bit as I stood on the coffee table, wrapped in a dirty duvet cover. I had a small bit of kindling held up to my throat like I was trying to use the sonorous spell. My look was pulled together, if I remember correctly, with a parchement crown. I have no idea how I ended up like that.

"It would be my undying pleasure to announce the official countdown 'til Prongsie and Two-Shoes tie the knot! Prongsie darling, please stay your lovely immature self and make sure the knot is between Two-Shoes', well, two shoes. If she trips, we will honor you forever!" I released a series of hiccups.

Lily, Prongsie-Poo, Moony, Wormy-Kins, Frank, and Alice all glared at me, and I shrugged. I DISTINCTLY heard them mumble something that sounded A LOT like "No more firewhiskey for Padfoot."

I ripped the small stick away from my throat and brandished it like a sword. "WHO GOES THERE? ARRG! NO ONE SHALL STEAL MY BOOTY!" I hid the half empty, sloshing bottle behind my back with the hand not threatening my best friends to the eternal damnation that only firewood can offer. All the movement caused me to fall backward off the coffee table. "SHIT!" I screamed. "MY ASS IS BROKEN!"

Prongsie came to my rescue while the others sniggered. He pulled me up, and said, "Padfoot. In all your drunken glory…"

I interrupted him, "Why thank-eeee matey!" I had a large smile on my face. I just wanted to find out if I could see all my teeth in the large mirror on the opposite wall.

"Anyway, I have a mission for you. Can you handle it?"

"A QUEST!" My arm shot into the air as if I was back in McGonagall's Transfiguration class. "I SHALL DO IT! IF I SHOULD DIE IN THE ATTEMPT, UH…." James pushed me onto the couch.

"O.K. then. Lily wants to have certain items at the wedding. It's a muggle tradition, and she did grow up as one. Do you think you can find her something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue?"

"Sure Prongsie- Poo!" I pinched his cheek. "Something moldy, something crude, something obnoxious and something nude! I'm on it!"

Then I passed out.

Oooo

Man, was this going to be hard. How could I pick what to get for Two-Shoes when Prongs made me promise to stick to the actual words? Maybe I could still put my own spin on it, if I thought hard enough. I could really do something extremely memorable with this opportunity…I LOVE magic! And don't forget… I RULE!

Oooo

There was two days left before Prongs and Lily got married. I might have to work on some of these out of order, but if my calculations were right they would all effect the wedding day. Now I was getting really excited.

The first thing I had to do was pay a visit to my least favorite grease ball, Snivellus. I rapped hard on his door, hoping he was still as gullible as he used to be. I needed him for my plan to work.

"You!" His face distorted into a grimace as he opened the door and saw who was calling.

"Me!" I said cheerfully. "Snivelly, how HAVE you been? It's been simply TOO …"

"Cut the crap! What the hell do you want?"

I put on an affronted look. "I just want to talk to you, Snivelly- Kins!"

"That's a load of dragon dung and you know it!"

"Now now Snivelly, aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Of course not."

"Hmm, I seem to remember a little incident in our first year Snapey. The details are slightly shady, but I remember a certain diary I found in old Sluggie's classroom. What a coincidence, I thought to myself. It's written in Snivelly's handwrit…"

"O.K., what in Merlin's name do you want?"

"No need to be snarky! I just need a simple aging potion from you."

Snape laughed mirthlessly. "A flobberworm could brew that easy of a potion…"

I remember thinking that he was a git, because I had scored only slightly lower than him on my Potions N.E.W.T. I just didn't feel like making it, and I needed an excuse to invite him to the wedding. "Precisely why I came to you!"

"Git."

"I might well be. Are you coming to Prongsie's wedding?"

"Never in a million years."

"Dear Diary, I can't believe James Potter likes Lily Evans. She is way to good for him, and if I cared even the slightest…"

"You can't scare me."

"I'm the best man. I get to make a speech at the reception." I smiled sweetly.

Severus finally looked beaten. "Do I have to dress up?"

Phases 'old' and 'new' were now in effect.

Oooo

Now, to understand the 'borrowed' phase, you have to realize that the only time James and Lily could get married was smack dab right in the middle of Moony's DADA Mastery test. (That's the exam anybody who wants to be a professor has to take. Moony is just an overachiever. I don't think he actually ever considered teaching.)

So I broke into the Ministry of Magic the same night I paid my visit to Snivelly. I found the exams, and turned Remus' answer sheet into a portkey set for the right time. Let's just say that if he got caught by it unawares, he probably shouldn't be taking that exam! Oh well.

Phase 'borrowed', all systems go! Blastoff! (I saw the little people in Two-Shoes' black box say that once. I don't know what it means.)

The 'blue' phase will have to wait for the big day.

Oooo

Finally it was the day Lily had been waiting for all her life. I, however, was planning to turn it into a circus. What did she expect, anyway? Asking me to do this part of the dirty work was not her brightest career move. I couldn't help feeling, though, that deep down somewhere she was a prankster too. That she WANTED this to happen…

Wishful thinking, Sirius old chum.

The quartet was now tuning up. James was mutilating the white carnation from the outer pocket of his dress robes in sweaty hands. His hair was a complete disaster. To be frank, he looked like shit.

I decided to keep my distance and work on my mission. I had magically painted all the chairs for this outdoor ceremony a light shade of blue earlier, and left a specific chair without the convenience of a drying spell. I waited for Wormy to enter the courtyard where the ceremony was about to take place and led him to said chair. I totally rock!

I watched Alice and Frank, themselves newlyweds, cuddle on a little secluded park bench just far enough into the distance as to not disturb the outside world.

Still watching the two, I pulled the phial of aging potion from my pocket and poured it into a goblet of iced pumpkin juice commandeered from a waiter. Running over to the Longbottoms, I couldn't believe that everything was actually running smoothly. Come to think of it, I could. My plans ALWAYS work, because I'm amazing!

"Here Frankie! I brought you something cool and sweet. You can have the juice, too!" My wink made Alice's cheeks color. This was just too funny.

Frank took a long draught from the goblet and made to hand it to Alice, but I 'accidentally' knocked it out of his hand.

"Sorry! I just tripped a little."

Frank eyed me suspiciously. "What did you do the juice, Sirius!"

Crap. He was onto me. I ran back to the center of the large courtyard and took my place beside James. The skin under his eyes was puffy and a blotchy red. And, after years of late night marauding, I knew that meant he hadn't slept a wink. He really did love her, didn't he?

oooo

I took the opportunity of the entire crowd watching Prongsie and Lily's first kiss as a married couple to scan the rows for Snivelly. I spotted him in the very back, and cast the spell I had made up in my fifth year that I liked to call the 'Super Duper Glitter-Glue Spell'.

At that very moment, several things happened at once. The photographer made his way up the aisle towards us, ready to take a picture. Frank screamed, "MERLIN'S BEARD! I HAVE A BEARD!"

Snape screamed, "MY FINGERS ARE STUCK, AND HOW THE HELL DID I GET GLITTER IN MY EYEBROW!"

Wormtail stood, looking for the source of the commotion, and finally realized that he had been sitting in wet paint. The entire back side of his robes were smothered in light blue gooiness, and the rest of the crowd immediately made sure their chairs were dry.

Moony appeared out of nowhere and fell onto Prongs, knocking him over. Both were extremely confused.

Lily stood where she was and screamed, over all the commotion, "SIRIUS BLACK!"

Everyone turned to look at me. I was laughing hysterically, and the photographer took a picture of me like that. I wonder if James still has the photo…

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Just what you asked me to, Two-Shoes!"

"Where do you get off saying that!" James piped in.

"I tried to keep my promise, Prongsie, but look…" I pointed at Frank, who had sprouted a white beard that trailed to the end of his robes and grey, wispy hair just as long. "Something old. I couldn't think of anything new, so I changed it to 'glued' hence…" I motioned toward Snivelly, his left hand fingers attached to his thick eyebrow and his right hand fingers trying to shake off a small compact mirror that was screaming in a high-pitched voice. "I put that old super glue spell on his fingers. Moony here I 'borrowed' from the Ministry, and Wormtail is something blue!"

At first I thought everyone was going to be mad at me, when Lily burst out laughing. "Sirius, I couldn't have done it better myself." She kissed me on the forehead, and I blushed.

I RULE. I AM THE KING!

Oooo A Year Foreword oooO

I woke up on Prongsie's couch, with Harry fast asleep on my stomach. He looked so peaceful. There was a note pinned to his pyjamas, and it was in Lily's handwriting.

Dear Git,

You talked yourself to sleep last night. We wanted to know if you would take care of Harry awhile, James wants us to spend some time together today. By the way, thanks for everything.

Lily

P.S. We'll be in Venice, Ciao!

I chuckled, and it woke Hare-Bare up. His eyes were small emerald slits, but the sleepy smile on his face indicated that today, like all the days I spent with my godson, would be the best day of my life.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo 15 YEARS LATER ooooooooooooooooooooooo

I sigh now as a stare back through the clouds at you, my beautiful godson, but I can't be with you anymore. It breaks my heart. And though, my little Hare-Bare, this will be my last bedtime story to you, I promise that I'll be with you through everything. Now go to sleep, it's ok. I'll see you someday. It was always because of your love that I brought you're parents together at every turn, it's you that makes me amazing. Go to sleep…

Though the world is fast asleep,

Though you're pillow is soft and deep

You're not sleepy, as you seem

Stay awake

Don't loft and dream…

Finis

New A/N: I am reposting this chapter now to fix some typos and stuff. I'm glad you guys like this story, it was amazingly fun to write. BTW, the whole Snape part of the chappie was based on a seemingly normal conversation I had with a good friend on the telephone. Out of the middle of nowhere she yelled, "I've got glitter in my eyebrow!" It was friggin hilarious. I had to fit it in somehow. Just thought you guys might like to know, seeing as the Super-Duper Glitter Glue spell isn't exactly canon. Ja!