Disclaimer: The usual disclaimers apply. I do not own the Gilmore Girls and I am just messing. I have no responsibility. If, of course, however you find me a genius and would like me to write for the show, then yes it was totally me, drop me a line.

A/N: I have decided to use that most tacky of jump the shark moments, a plot overused in countless soap operas. May I be much better at it.

Prologue

The lunch time rush was only just coming to an end when the phone rang. Grumbling to himself, Luke picked up the receiver and threw a 'Yeah. Luke's Diner' at the other end.

For a second there was silence, then an official sounding voice as: "Am I speaking with Mr. Lucas Danes?"

Rolling his eyes, Luke responded: "Yeah, what can I do for you?"

The woman's voice continued: "I'm glad I got you straight away. I know this may come as a bit of a shock to you and I don't want you to be alarmed. Everything is fine as far as we can tell, no serious damage although the blow to the head has caused a minor concussion."

"Lady, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I'm sorry, sir. I should have said at the beginning. Your wife has had an accident."

Luke's mind which had been casually calculating the profit of the day, snapped to attention. "Come again?"

"Your wife has had an accident, Mr. Danes. Now don't be too worried, because…"

"My What?"

The woman sounded thoroughly confused now. "At nine o'clock this morning a young woman was delivered to Hartford General Hospital. A branch had fallen from a tree and knocked her unconscious. An ambulance was called, but she only regained consciousness about a half hour ago. When questioned, she declared she felt fine. She has a mild concussion, so we need somebody to drive her home and keep an eye on her. She said that wouldn't be a problem, as her husband could be reached under the number I have just dialled." Her voice had gotten increasingly irritated. "I am speaking with Lucas Danes, am I not?"

Luke was still confounded. Surely this was some kind of elaborate joke. "Yeah, that's me. What's my - mmm - wife's name?"

Now the voice was really surprised. "Well, Mrs. Danes gave her full name as Lorelai Gilmore Danes and her birth date as …"

"I'll be right there." Luke cut her off. Dropping the pone back on its hook, he grabbed his keys and was out of the door like a shock, completely ignoring the increasingly curious expressions on the faces of his customers. In the process of closing the door, he leaned back in and shouted: "CAESAR! I'm going to Hartford. Family emergency. Close up when this lot is done. I don't know how long its gonna take."

On the way to his truck another thought hit him and catching sight of Kirk he corralled him to the cause.

"Kirk, listen up. I need you to go and pick Rory up from school and bring her to Hartford General." He cut off the boy's objections. "No, listen. Lorelai's had an accident. Nothing too serious. She is up and talking."

Kirk frowned smiled: "While I am perfectly aware of the honour you do me, I have to ask why I am to bring Rory to Hartford. I take it you're picking Lorelai up? Why do I have to bring Rory to the hospital, too?"

"Well, I want to give you time to prepare her."

"Prepare her for what? I thought you said Lorelai is fine? Are you lying to me, because people are constantly doing that to save my feelings. I can handle all kinds of bad news. Is Lorelai dying?"

"God, no! Kirk! That's not it at all." Luke shifted uncomfortably, a tinge of red colouring his cheeks. "Well, Lorelai didn't give her my number to pick her up. She told them her name was Gilmore-Danes and gave them the number of her husband to pick her up."

Kirk's jaw dropped through the floor. "Come again?"

"That's what I said. Look, just pick Rory up and bring her to the hospital. Hopefully I will have it all sorted out by the time you drop her off." Luke didn't believe it himself.

"Wow, that is amazing news."

"Kirk, if you tell anybody about this, then I am cutting you off from the pancakes on Sunday mornings."

"But you know mother doesn't cook for me Sundays. She did it for all my brothers and sisters. Twelve brothers and sisters. You would just let me go hungry."

"Yes. Unless you keep stumm about what you heard here and now."

"Say no more. I will absolve my mission with the utmost secrecy." Looking to all sides, Kirk moves away to his mother's car, all the while keeping a weather eye out for any potential spies.

Luke meanwhile was already miles away in thought, as he finally got into his truck and drove off to Hartford. He decided that this situation had all the makings for a grade A disaster.

"My wife?"