I Hate Vacations

Everyone was sitting out side, it was nice out. It was a clear day but it was cold. They where all sitting, around a huge table eating. Everyone was asking Riza and Roy qustion. Like how they meant. And then they would ask Roy how he knew she was the one. Every time someone asked a qustion. Riza and Roy would blush and then try to sound like it was the truth. But Sapphire knew it wasn't. You could tell, only if you wanted something to be different.

The thing was, they never held hands. Roy never put his arm around her waist. And they never kissed. It was dinner time, and everyone was eating. Maes and Roy walked away from the group. "Dude do you even know how to be a husband?" Maes asked. "No." Roy said lazily. "Roy you have to like put your arm around her waist, and like whisper stuff in her ear." Maes said. Riza walked up. "You have to act like where married, and if you don't I am in big trouble." Riza said. "Fine, just don't shoot me." Roy said.

Riza agreed, they walked back and sat down. Roy put his hand on her mid-thy. This will be easy all I have to do is what I do to all the other ladies Roy thought with a smile. Sapphire glared at Riza. Riza glared back. "Mom Riza just glared at me." Sapphire said like a little kid. But when her mom looked up she saw that. Roy and Riza where kissing! "Not at dinner, Riza." their mom said. Roy pulled away. Riza wanted to bust out laughing, but then it would blow there cover.

Lucky Havoc thought. After dinner, Riza, Sapphire and there mom washed the dishes. "So Riza, would you and Roy get remarried here so the whole family could see?" Sapphire asked with a knowing tone. "Yes we would." Riza said drying off a plate. "That would be great honey, you should ask him tonight." her mother said. NOOOOOOO! Riza's mind screamed. "I will mom." Riza said with a smile. Ed and one of the girl where playing chest. Roy looked like he was going to die.

I need alcohol he thought. Riza walked into the room. One glance at Roy told her what was wrong. "Honey, do you want some wine?" Riza asked. Roy's eyes lit up. "Yes." he said. Riza wanted to laugh, but went into the kitchen and got him a glass of wine. She walked out with the glass. Riza walked over to Roy. He grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap. "Thanks sugar." Roy said. The pet names where so funny. They where trying to think of the worst nicknames of each other. Roy took a sip of his wine.

Perfect! He screamed in his mind. He gave Riza a quick peek on the cheek. "Gross, old people make out." Ed said. "Edward." Roy and Riza said at the same time. He looked scared. "I'm not old!" both of them yelled. Sure Ed was 15 but they told everyone that he was 10. Riza told them that a year after she had left she met Roy and then they had Ed. Roy was only a year older then Riza. Maes yawned, "I'm out, night you guys." he said getting up. "Oh one more thing." Maes said.

"Use protection we don't want another Ed." Jean said. Maes and Jean ran out of the room. "Ha they love to piss me off." Roy said. Riza giggled. "Good night dear." Riza's mom said. Her mom and Sapphire walk out of the room. "You know there faking it, right?" Sapphire said. "Sapphire, just because you can't have children, doesn't mean you can take it out on Riza!" Riza's mom said in a mad tone. Riza sighed, it was kinda hard for her to be here. She hadn't been home for 13 years. She left when she was 16 and came back at the age of 28, with a fake husband and a fake son.

The girl that was playing chest with Ed was Megan. "I'm going to bed. I'm glad you're back." she said leaving the room. "This is just great." Riza said. "What's wrong?" Ed and Roy asked. "My mom wants to have another wedding so everyone can be here." Riza said laying back on the couch. "Give her what she wants." Roy said. "Yeah like you want to be married with me tell death do us part." Riza said.

"It wouldn't bother me." Roy said. "And I'm almost 30 in a couple years I'll be to old to have kids. And then my mom and dad will haunt me for the rest of my life." Roy said. "So your saying you want to marry me." Riza said. "It doesn't have to be you. My mom and dad just want grand kids." Roy said scratching him self. Riza rolled her eyes. "Okay what do you guys want to do tomorrow?" Riza asked. "Maybe we could go look at stuff around here?" Ed said.

"Sounds great, that's what we'll do." Riza said. They all got up and walked to there rooms. Ed's room was right next to Roy and Riza's. Riza's room was great. The selling was all glass so you could see the whole night sky. "It's been a long time since I've been in here." Riza said looking around. Everything was in the same spot as she left it. It was like no one came in here.

"This is a cool room." Roy said sitting down on the bed. The bed was a water bed. "Wow did you get everything you want?" he asked taking his shoes off. "I was the youngest and I was the strongest. My dad wanted boys but he ended up with two girls, he was always happy that I ended up being just like him." Riza said taking her jacket off. She slipped he shoes off. She sighed, "I'm going to take a shower you can change if you want." Riza said grabbing her pajamas and walking into the bathroom.

Roy quickly changed into his pink doggy pajamas with pink fuzzy slippers. I don't need a shower tonight, I didn't do anything Roy thought taking a seat on the window seel that was a seat too. This room is so cool I wish it was mine Roy thought looking out the window. It was a rare sight. The fields where filled with white snow. The lake in the back yard was frozen it looked so pretty. He yawned. There was a knock on the door. Roy got up lazily. He opened the door.

It was Riza's mother. "Do you want to talk to Riza?" Roy asked. "Do you mind if I come in." she asked. Roy moved aside letting her come in. She was much shorter then Roy. She was a little bit taller then Ed. "I was just wandering, If maybe you and Riza would get married again so the whole family can be there." Carolyn said. "Um... me and Riza are still thinking about it." Roy said. "Roy!" Riza called from the bathroom. "What!" he yelled back. "There's a bug hurry and kill it!" Riza screamed.

Roy ran into the bathroom. Riza was wrapped in a towel and was standing on the toilet. "I would have never thought that you would be afraid of bugs." Roy said. "You tell anyone you won't have the balls to have more kids." Riza said. "Got ya." Roy said stepping out of the room grabbing his boot. He squashed the bug then picked it up with a piece of toilet paper. He put it in the toilet. "See all gone." Roy said turning the sink on and washed his hands. "I hate bugs." he mumbled.

"See you don't like them either." Riza said getting down. "Oh my god a bug!" Roy yelled pointing to the ground. "WHERE!"Riza yelled running out of the room. Roy started to laugh. "That's not funny." Riza yelled pulling a gun out. "Oh shit!" Roy said running out of the room. Bang, Bang, Bang three gun shots rang through the house. Everyone came out of they're rooms to see Roy wearing pink pajamas running away from Riza with just a towel on shooting at him. Maes and Havoc started to laugh. Ed walked out of his room, Roy grabbed him.

"You wouldn't shoot your own son!" Roy yelled holding Ed up. "LET ME GO DAMN IT!" Ed yelled. Riza lowered the gun. "You're lucky." Riza said turning around. "Thanks a bunch ass hole you almost got me shot." Ed said going back into his room. Roy shrugged his shoulders and walked back to his room. He walked in, "You shouldn't scare me like that." Riza said. She was sitting down on the window seel. "I'm sorry." Roy said. There was a loud nosie from out side. "What the hell in that?" Roy asked. "That would be Megan's husband." Riza said. Roy looked at her. "He likes to get busy." Riza said.

They both started to laugh. "That's great." Roy said walking over to the door. "I'm going to tell them to shut up." Roy said. Riza sighed, Roy was a dumb ass. Roy knocked on the door. "Yes." Megan said opening the door. "Hey can you guys keep it down, I'm trying to sleep." Roy said walking back to him room. He opened the door. "See no more loud noise." Roy said with a smile. Riza started to laugh. "You're so stupid." she said. "And who got you those pajamas?" Riza asked with a laugh. "Elysia got them for me." Roy said.

Riza started to laugh again but this time she looked like she was going to wet her self from laughing. Roy rolled his eyes, "Would you rather me sleep in the nude?" Roy asked. "No I like the pajamas better." Riza said getting up. "Are you ready to go to sleep?" Riza asked walking over to the light. "Yeah." Roy said yawning and then laying down on the bed. Riza turned out the light and got into the bed. "Night." they both said. But what they didn't know was that Sapphire had put a hidden camera in watching there every move.

"Riza do you want to get remarried?" Roy asked rolling over so he was looking at her. "I don't care." Riza said. Riza went under the covers. And Roy followed. "Roy Sapphire put a camera in here." Riza whispered. "I know." Roy said. "What do you want to do about it?" Roy asked. "Just play along." Riza said. She messed her hair up a little bit and then messed Roy's up. Roy knew what she was going to do next. At the same time they came up acting like they where out of breath.

"Oh Roy." Riza said. "Riza I love you so much." Roy said kissing her neck. It was so hard not to bust out laughing. "ROY!" Riza yelled. You could here Riza yell throughout the whole house. Maes and Havoc looked up from the movie they where watching. They both started to laugh. "Riza is such a good actress." Maes said. "How do you know she's acting?" Havoc asked. "If they where having sex she'd be screaming a lot louder." Maes said. "That's sick." Ed said turning up the T.V. Sapphire thought she was going to throw up. "Maybe I was wrong." Sapphire said.

"HARDER!" Riza yelled. "RIZA!" Roy yelled. Everything got quite. Riza's mom was stunned. Kain was crying and Falman thought he was going to die. Breda was fats asleep. Everyone ran up to there room. Maes knock on the door. Riza opened the door with just a sheet on. "We herd loud screaming." Maes said. "Is everything okay?" Riza's mom asked. "Ah... yeah everything's great, night." Riza said shutting the door.

They would have started laughing but Sapphire's camera was still going. Riza got back in bed. Roy had only his boxers on. They throw off some of there close to make it look real. Riza snuggled into Roy's chest. "That was great." Riza said. "Night." Roy said. They both fell asleep.

A/N Time.

I laughed my ass off when I wrote this. I hope you laugh your ass off when you read it. XD. I love how Maes knew it was fake. XD. Poor Ed he's scared for life. Just wait tell the next chapter. It's random silliness all the way. XD. Hope you liked it, later.

-Ember