Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC.
A/N: I do appreciate constructive feedback if you've got any to offer. If you think it's terrible please feel free to let me know and I'll stop.
Olivia nodded slowly through her tears but couldn't bring herself to look up at her friends. She knew Alex was right. She'd hadn't even believed the words herself when they came out of her mouth in frustration.
She knew as she sat on the hospital floor that she was being irrational. The sharp pain where he had touched her that brought tears to her eyes every time she moved was evidence that she was being irrational. The fact that every time she took a breath she felt him on the back of her throat and wanted to gag told her she was being irrational.
And yet she didn't care. She didn't want to be rational. She didn't want to be touched. Examined. She didn't want the "evidence" collected off her face for Christ's sake! She didn't want the concerned looks her friends kept exchanging that seemed to imply that she wasn't aware of what had happened.
She knew what had happened. Growing up with a mother who spent most of her life staring into a bottle, Olivia knew what it was like to be abused. To have to disassociate oneself from what was being done to them. Yet in all those years... she had never experienced anything as horrific and painfully humiliating as she had tonight.
She didn't want to be rational.
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It had taken some time but Olivia had finally consented to being helped off the floor and onto the exam table. The detective was sitting on the edge of the table with her feet dangling over the side staring intently at the tray next to her. As Casey picked up the hospital she followed Olivia's gaze over to the tray where there was a small stack of clear bags marked evidence.
Casey's heart sank seeing the tortured look on the brunette's face.
"Liv?", Casey asked softly holding up the gown.
Olivia's head turned but her eyes remained locked on the evidence bags.
Alex also noticed what her friend was focused on and gently stepped forward into Olivia's line of vision.
She watched Olivia's eyes move to look at the hospital gown and then look quickly down at the clothes she was wearing.
After a few shaky breaths the detective reached up and fidgeted with the buttons on her blouse before dropping her trembling hands to her lap.
Still leery of touching her friend, Alex placed her hand on the exam table beside Olivia's thigh and bent down trying to meet the detectives eyes.
"Olivia?", she said gently, "let me help you…"
When she didn't get a response Alex cautiously reached out and began undoing the buttons. She was just about to push the blouse back off Olivia's shoulders when she felt the woman's hands reach up and grab her wrists. Looking down Alex once again saw tears falling down her friend's face.
"Please don't", Olivia requested in a child-like whisper that seemed so vulnerable and innocent that it took the ADA by surprise.
Alex looked over at Casey who looked equally surprised and pained. Both women wanted desperately to help their friend but neither one of them knew exactly how.
"Olivia.", Alex began as she released the blouse and instead took hold of the detectives hands. "I know you're scared, Liv…", Alex said lowering her voice to a whisper, "but you need to do this honey. You're in pain. You've been trying to hide it but I can see it in your eyes. You're my best friend, Liv. Please let me help you."
After a moment Olivia finally looked up and locked eyes with the blonde attorney before nodding slowly.
Casey stepped forward with the gown covering Olivia while Alex slipped off the blouse and unhooked her bra.
"Can you stand up?", Casey asked gently after Olivia slide her arms through the holes in the gown.
Nodding again but still not speaking Olivia grimaced in pain as she slid off the table. Casey helped her step out of her pants and handed them to Alex who was discreetly placing the garments in individual evidence bags.
Hearing Casey let out a small gasp, Alex looked down to where Casey was squatting on the floor and saw Olivia's underwear around her ankles covered in blood. Immediately looking up at Olivia she saw the older woman turning her head away and hiding her face in humiliation.
"Hey", Alex said pulling Olivia's hands away from her face and forcing the detective to look at her. "It's okay. You don't have to hide from us, okay?", she said confidently as she saw Casey slip the undergarment into an evidence bag.
"You're our friend, Liv.", she said as if that explained everything.
Meanwhile Alex's head was reeling. She had known from the way Olivia was moving that she was obviously hurt but the attorney was shocked to see that much blood. It overwhelmed her with anger that someone had hurt Olivia that severely. It also broke her heart when she remembered that Olivia had barely said a word during the attack. She had barely made a noise while that monster was doing that to her.
Alex was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Casey's hand on her arm.
"I'm going to go get the nurse.", Casey said quietly and gave Alex's arm a light squeeze before slipping out of the room.
Pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind, the older ADA pulled up a stool and sat down next to Olivia who was now lying back on the exam table staring at the ceiling. Alex tried to cover the brunette's hand with her own and couldn't help but feel slightly hurt when the detective pulled away.
She doesn't want to be touched, Alex thought.
Instead she moved the stool closer and rested both her arms on the table careful not to touch the other woman but maintaining close proximity so her friend would know that she was there… that she was not alone.