Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Dick Wolfe and NBC.
A/N: I do appreciate constructive feedback if you've got any to offer. If you think it's terrible please feel free to let me know and I'll stop.
"Okay, Olivia, you can put your legs down now.", the nurse instructed pushing her stool back.
As Olivia got situated the nurse made a note on the detective's chart and walked over to the side of the bed near Casey.
Olivia had made a feeble attempt earlier to get her friends to leave again but Casey would be damned if she was going to let Olivia go through this alone. The redhead knew why Olivia kept pushing them away. For as long as Casey had known her Olivia had always presented a strong front; had always seemed in control of every situation. But somewhere in that alley Olivia's façade had cracked and now she was vulnerable. And since Olivia was Olivia she associated her vulnerability with weakness… a weakness she didn't want her friends to see.
Alex had at first protested when Casey suggested that they compromise with Olivia and have only one of them stay in the room but the blonde finally resigned understanding that for Olivia it was a matter of protecting her pride no matter how much her friends cared for her. Instead Alex agreed to wait outside the room and give an initial statement to the police.
And so Casey had sat with Olivia attempting to provide some sort of support. Olivia had remained stoic for the most part but Casey hadn't missed the humiliation in her eyes when the nurse took swabs of her face and chest or when Olivia had been asked to recount what had happened.
Now that the sexual assault nurse had finished the pelvic exam Casey had hoped it was over and she could take Olivia home where she'd feel more comfortable.
"Olivia?", the nurse began waiting for Olivia to look up, "I think we're just about all set here. There doesn't appear to be any real damage to your throat. The soreness you're feeling should fade in a few days."
"The pelvic exam didn't turn up any permanent damage", she continued, "but there is some tearing that has me a little concerned. It will heal but it's borderline whether or not it requires stitches."
Olivia closed her eyes for a moment and Casey was about to reach out to her when the detective sighed and looked back at the nurse.
"What now?", Olivia whispered.
"Well I'd like to bring in a doctor to take a look and make that call.", the nurse said before hesitating and softening her voice. "Olivia, the only two doctors on the floor right now are both male. Are you okay with that or would you like me to page a female doctor?"
Casey thought she caught a flicker of something in Olivia's eyes but then she heard Olivia tell the nurse that any doctor would be fine.
Once the nurse had exited the room the ADA gently moved closer to her friend.
"Liv?…", Casey said cautiously fearing that she was about to get her head taken off.
Olivia turned her head toward the attorney. "Hmm?", she mumbled absently.
"Honey… are you sure you don't want me to get a female doctor?… You don't have anything to prove here, Liv. Everyone will understand if you don't want a man to touch you…".
Casey spoke with such hesitancy and compassion Olivia couldn't help but return what she hoped was a small smile.
Casey was surprised to see Olivia take Casey's hand in hers and give it a light squeeze.
"I think I'll be okay… but… thank you.", Olivia whispered letting the words linger revealing that she was thanking the young woman for more than the offer.
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Forty-five minutes later a cab pulled up to a stop in front of Olivia's apartment. Alex handed the driver a twenty dollar bill while Casey helped Olivia slide out of the cab.
Once the nurse had left the exam room it wasn't long before the male doctor had arrived. Casey had been able to tell immediately that Olivia wasn't comfortable with the man in the room but the detective remained silent and kept her eyes closed. Olivia's only outward display of discomfort was the death grip she had on the young ADA's hand.
As Casey stepped away from the cab, she flexed her now sore hand remembering how she had thought Olivia was going to break her fingers when the doctor applied the sutures.
"Case?", Olivia said weakly while still holding the door to the cab.
Forgetting about her aching fingers, Casey hooked her arm through Olivia's and offered the detective her sore hand allowing Olivia to use her for support.
After they'd taken a couple steps Alex came up along the other side of Olivia.
"You doin' okay, Liv?", she asked.
"Fine", Olivia whispered vaguely, "I don't need help."
"I know hon", Alex responded as she squeezed Olivia's hand, disregarded the detective's declaration, and mirrored Casey's hold.
"Almost there…", Casey said as they walked into the building.
Once inside the apartment Olivia pulled away from the two attorneys.
"Let me help you to the couch, Liv…", Casey offered.
The detective took a step back and shook her head.
"I uh… I just need a minute… please….", she said softly as she braced herself against the wall moved toward her bedroom.
Casey was about to protest but Alex spoke first.
"Okay, Liv, we'll be right out here.", Alex assured her as the detective disappeared behind her bedroom door.
"Alex!", Casey scolded in a hushed voice, "What are you doing? I think the last thing Olivia needs right now is to be alone!"
"Case, listen…", Alex began, "let's just give her a minute to herself and then we'll go check on her."
Casey started to argue again but Alex preempted her.
"How long have we known Olivia?", the older attorney asked not waiting for an answer, "you know the more we push her the more she's going to resist us. She just needs a little space so she doesn't feel suffocated."
Casey let out a loud sigh and rubbed her hands over her face. "I just feel so helpless you know?"
Alex reached out and pulled her friend into a hug. "I know, honey. Me too."
When Casey pulled away she looked down at her own appearance for the first time since the attack. Her nylons were torn and wet from the ground and her white skirt was covered in mud.
Looking up she realized Alex was in a similar state of disarray.
Following the young attorney's eyes Alex sighed herself and suggested that they get cleaned up quick and then go to Olivia.
Both women found the sweats they had worn to earlier in the night that they had left at Olivia's apartment after getting ready to go out.
After they got changed Alex sat on the couch with a far away look in her eyes.
Casey gently approached the ADA and sat on the couch next to her.
"Al?", she said in a concerned voice as she took hold of the blonde woman's hand.
When she saw a tear slip down Alex's cheek she put her arm around the older woman who in return rested her head on Casey's shoulder.
"I thought I had gotten away from all this, Case…", she said; her voice cracking with emotion.
The redhead pulled Alex in closer and rested her head on top of the blonde's while she waited for her to continue.
"I spent two years of my life constantly living in fear and looking over my shoulder… wondering if the next stranger I walked past on the street was going to be the one to put a bullet in me. I couldn't even…", her voice cracked as she let out a small sob, "I never let myself have any relationships with men because in the back of my mind all I could think about was whether or not this guy was genuine or whether he was sent by Valez to get close to me and then kill me…"
"Oh honey…", Casey said softly while rubbing her hand up and down the other woman's arm, "I can't imagine what that must have been like for you…"
Alex sniffled and pulled back to look at Casey.
"I thought that part of my life was finally over, Case. When I came back here everything felt… normal again… I… I felt safe. …and now… just when I finally let my guard down…"
Casey took hold of Alex's hands and gave them a tight squeeze.
"Alex, I'm glad you were able to come back here and feel safe again. I'm glad that you allowed yourself to fall in love. … I'm glad you allowed yourself to just live.", Casey said.
"I meant what I said before, Alex. You deserve all the happiness in the world. What happened tonight was…", the young ADA's voice dropped to a whisper as she bit back her emotions, "what happened tonight was beyond horrible. I don't think I'll ever…".
Casey's voice trailed off and she let out a jagged sigh.
"But don't let this one freak incident make you regret your life since you got back. I think it's going to take us all a while to get through this but we all love you Alex. Tom is absolutely crazy about you. Don't take all the good that's happened over the last 18 months away from yourself.", the young red head said firmly.
Alex pulled one of her hands away to wipe a tear off her cheek before pulling Casey into a fierce hug.
"Thank you, Case", she said in a voice full of emotion.
After not moving for a few moments Alex managed to collect herself and pull away.
Wiping her eyes one last time she cleared her throat and looked over at the clock on the VCR.
"It's been 15 minutes.", Alex said softly, "We should go check on Liv and get her cleaned up…"
Nodding Casey took Alex's hand again and squeezed it gently as the two woman got off the couch and walked down the hall hand in hand to Olivia's bedroom.