Chapter 2 - A Delivery and Some Ideas
The clock ticked agonizingly slowly.
I looked at Brandy.
She looked at the clock.
I looked at the door.
Brandy looked at me.
We blinked.
"I win," I shouted triumphantly.
Brandy smacked me in the head. "Shut up."
"Ow, that hurt like pain." I said, rubbing my head.
"Ugh," Brandy said, rolling her eyes. "Hey, how long is this guy gonna take?"
"Not sure," I said, still rubbing my head. "He has to locate him. Then, after that, it's simply a matter of transporting him."
"Grrr, it's been a minute already."
"Calm down. He'll get him here."
"I am not a patient person, you know that."
"Yeah, I know it… Trust me, I know it."
"Hey! I resent that."
"No, you resemble it." I laughed.
Brandy reached over to hit me in the head.
"HA!" I yelled, throwing my hands up and blocking her. "You missed."
"Did I?" She dropped her hands and kicked me in the shin.
I clutched at my leg and hopped around on one foot. "Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow…"
Dropping my leg, I struck a dramatic pose and pointed at Brandy. "May you endure countless tortures in the six circles of Hell."
"Bitch, please," was my friend's response. Then she froze.
I turned. My eyes smiled in anticipation, but my face was etched with solemnity. "Good Sir," I said, bowing.
"I have brought to you that which you requested." The creature looked at me. "Now, where is my payment?"
"Wait," I said. "I see no one. Where…?" I looked around.
The creature waved his hand, and…
"Nothing happened," Brandy said, "Where is he? What'd you do to him?"
The creature dropped his formal demeanor and said a string of words in his normal tongue. (A/N: They are unprintable. Mainly because I have no font to match the fey's writing, but also because the translation would notch this baby up too high on the rating chart. I would be forever banned. Sorry) "Sorry," He continued, "I'll be right back. Wait… wait right here."
The creature walked into the back as Brandy and I looked at each other. "…er…"
The creature reappeared and said, "Ok, can we take that last scene again? Alright."
Brandy and I glanced at each other again. "O-o-o-o-o-o-o-kay." We shrugged.
I looked back at the creature. "So, where is he? And, remember, no tricks or no chopsticks."
The creature nodded and waved his hand. The Phantom appeared; bound with rope, gagged, and with not a few bruises.
"I said unharmed, you ass." I screamed at the creature.
Brandy chimed in with, "Yeah! May you contract Jungle Malaria." (A/N: Yes, you can get Jungle Malaria; and, yes, Brandy does say that… often.)
The creature looked hurt. "Now, there's no need for that. Look I can fix it."
"You damn well better fix it or I won't give you anything!" I screamed, swinging around and punching the creature in the chest.
Brandy reached for her Ever-Full Box of Sharpie's, and started pounding the creature with them.
With every Sharpie impact, the creature winced and whimpered. "O – ow - k, I'll – ow – fix – ow – it – ow! STOP! Ow."
Brandy paused with the next Sharpie in her raised hand. "Fix him," she growled threateningly.
The creature waved a hand and The Phantom was free and unbruised. Although, now free of his bonds, he began to slip immediately to the floor.
I rushed to catch him. "Meep." I said, my voice straining from holding the entire weight of The Phantom. "Help." I collapsed under him. (A/N: Happy Moment!)
Brandy lifted the unconscious man off of me; and I looked at the fey. "As per our agreement, your chopsticks." I threw them at the creature.
He jumped and danced around, clutching the chopsticks to his chest happily.
Brandy and I looked at each other… the creature… then each other again. She circled her finger at her temple, and I nodded.
I looked back at the creature, "Begone, back to your world!" I said, wiggling my fingers mysteriously. We sighed as the creature slowly faded from view; still dancing, happily, with his chopsticks.
Brandy and I looked at each other; then at The Phantom, lying on the floor.
"Now," I said, "what to do with him?"
Brandy looked up at me with a mischievous grin on her face. "I have a few ideas."