A/N: Yea.. I'm sorry. I know I said I'd um tell you in the last chapter but.. yea. I forgot. So in this one I promise! Also, notice how Ryou hasn't spoken a word at all? That'll change soon...I think. Eh, well yea here's some more for you little scavengers.
Don't Own. Sadly.
Ryou was now positioned on the couch. He sat upright with his back straight.
Here we go…Suicide.
Ryou Bakura… was considering suicide. He had no other options anymore. His friends never paid any mind to him… he was beaten every night and not allowed to cry… his father never cared and his mother and sister were dead. He felt hollow inside. And he knew, deep down, that everyone hated him. Now, it's not so surprising that he would consider such a ghastly thing now is it?
His beautiful brown coffee colored orbs turned into a dead dull brown color. This signaled he felt sad. Laying himself down on the couch, Ryou closed his eyes and fell asleep. As he fell asleep, he entered his soul room.
The room was not very beautiful. Instead it was dark and gloomy place, with things scattered everywhere. Toys from Amane his sister… pictures of special occasions lying on the floor. He had once assembled them all into albums, but Bakura came in and wrecked everything. So now he didn't bother. A desk was placed in the corner of the room, with a solitary lamp on it and a candle. Underneath this lamp was a black leather journal; a diary if you will. An ink pen lay next to it with a bottle of black Indian ink in the far corner of the desk. He often wrote in this journal… His moderate sized bed was placed against the East wall.. it had beautiful black sheets as well as a nice comfy black comforter… the pillow was a deep blood red. He rather liked the bed… It stood on a solid oak frame.. a dark oak wood. He liked the room a lot. On the nightstand next to his bed(also a dark oak) there stood a red vase. And in it were two roses. One was a beautiful white, the other was a night black. Ryou liked to think those two roses represented him and his other half. He was the pure snow white and Bakura was the dead Black. Ah, but upon further inspection.. you would see that the white rose was beginning to wither.
Ryou sat upon the floor of his little bedroom. He just sat and began contemplating. If I died would anyone care? No they wouldn't. Dad would probably think ," Oh another is gone. Good I never liked him anyway." Yugi and the others would be happy to be rid of me as well.. it's not like they ever cared. They just had to talk to me.. I was always a back up or something. And.. Bakura. Why he would be overjoyed that I was dead. He'd probably go, " So the little runt was weak enough he thought to kill himself? Well good riddance! It's about time." Of course Bakura would never say good riddance….would he?
I never cared for any of them. At one point yes I did… but not now. They don't care for me , I don't care for them. Hm. I wonder if anyone would come to my funeral? Probably just the priest and a few random people I never heard of. Maybe the others will be pressured into coming to my funeral. Afterall, they would want to see me and make sure I was dead, right? They probably wouldn't want to have a party celebrating my death and all of a sudden hear news I was alive.
So.. what do I do? I want to be free of this pain.. this eternal pain I am suffering. I want to just let go of life and be sent wherever Kami-sama wants me. Do I die and release myself.. or do I live and continue on hoping for the best? I have no clue. Maybe I should just lay down and die. That would certainly be grand now wouldn't it? I would be laying down, dead. People would be dancing on my grave huh? No, I doubt it .
So I have decided?
No I don't think so. Truth is.. I'm sort of afraid to die. Well, not really.. just afraid.. of something. I want to do this yet I do not. Oh what do I do? Do I let go or do I go on hanging on, hoping for a brighter tomorrow? He was wracked with worry and fear and sorrow. This was pressing into his heart and it hurt him. A lot. More than all those stinging cuts inflicted by Bakura and himself. I'll..I'll…
I know!
I just wait a day or two. If someone can see I am in need of assistance.. then I'll not kill myself. If no one …cares then I'll do it.
Then it's agreed.
As Ryou stood up and headed for the door of his sanctuary, he paused a bit and thought. Deep down, he hoped someone would see his pain.. would see into his eyes and see the true him. To stop him from killing himself. Shaking this feeling off Ryou headed for the door, pulled it open , and stepped outside. As he left, the white rose in the vase dropped one white petal weakly.