WARNING: If you hate character bashing, LEAVE NOW because EVERYONE gets it in this! EVERYONE! Including your precious Axel. MEHEHEHEHEHEEH!

One gloomy evening, there were twelve rather unimpressive beings in black coats moping around the realm of darkness with nothing better to do than ask dumb ass questions.

"You guys..." one of the many ridiculously pretty boys with Colgate grins started. "You don't think... that Kingdom Hearts is made of cheese?"

They all gazed up from the rose colored Disney Princess blanket and squinted vigilantly at the heart shaped moon.

"... As if".

"Moron..."

"I hate cheese..."

"Got it memorized?"

They all stared at the red head strangely.

"Catch phrases", he chuckled. "They pop out every once in a while".

Everyone shrugged it off. It was just like Axel to be a schizophrenic lunatic. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The man leaned back against a poorly drawn image of Sleeping Beauty, attempting to look as if he wasn't on the brink of insanity. "Vexen", he called to yet another pretty boy with long silver hair. "Pass the popcorn chicken".

And Vexen did.

"I'm booored, you guuuhs!" moaned Demyx, the idiot who had asked the first question. His eyes suddenly beamed with excitement. "Let's do each other's nails!"

"NO!" almost everyone exploded at once. Vexen seemed disappointed.

"Why don't you go play on that banjo of yours?" Axel offered through a mouth full of popcorn chicken.

"SITAR!" the boy glared.

"Whatever".

A blonde, the only woman in the group, smiled deviously. "We could practice S &M". They all gave Larxene an uncomfortable sideways glance.

As if they liked females that much...

"Hey, have you guys noticed anything... different?" asked purple haired dude, Zexion.

Axel yawned. "Like?"

"Like we're not... dead anymore".

They all gasped foolishly as realization slowly dawned on them.

And I mean slowly...

A couple of hours later...

"OH SNAP!" everyone cried at once. Everyone... but Vexen.

"I died?" he asked, dumbly.

"Yeah". Axel slipped an arm around his shoulder, all the while giving the trademark Colgate grin. "I murdered you, remember?"

At this, the entire party exploded into fits of laughter. That was some funny shit. Vexen joined in which made everyone else laugh harder. There was only one thing funnier than Vexen's death and that was his laugh.

"KYAHAHAHAHA! YOU KILL ME- HAHAHAHAHAHA! KYAHAHAHA...WHAT? YOU DID WHAT?"

"I murdered you", Axel replied calmly. "Got it memorized?"

Vexen scratched his head. "... No... or else I wouldn't be asking you, dumbass".

Axel took time to feel stupid.

"Ooooooh. Axel buuuurns" Larxene hissed.

"But how?" Zexion ignored the argument and continued on. "How did this happen?"

"The darkness", Ansem's nobody explained. "It had to be the darkness".

They all stared blankly at Xemnas.

"The darkness?"

"Totally". He nodded. "It was totally the darkness".

They all slowly agreed. When in doubt, blame the darkness. At least that's what everyone else did...

"Well, what matters isn't how we got here". Xemnas stood. "What matters is that we have our-"

"VACATION!" Demyx cheered.

"Wha?"

"VACATION!" he shrieked once again, his eyes glistening.

"That sounds like fun", agreed Luxord, the blond guy that no one really cared about.

"Yeah", added Lexaeus, the other guy that no one really cared about.

They were both ignored, much to Luxord's surprise who felt that he was too sexy to be ignored.

"I'M TOO DAMN S-"

"Nonsense!" Xemnas scolded his inferiors. "What matters is that we have our revenge! REVENGE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAKAHAHAHAHAHWAAAA!"

"Revenge is boriiiiing", Axel teased and tossed back his fiery Sonic the Hedgehog hair, nearly putting out Vexen's eye.

"Yeah!" Demyx bit his lower lip.

"Yeah!" said Lexaeus, eager for a line.

"I'm going to have to agree with them, sir" admitted Saix, the biggest brown-noser and Harry Potter fan ever.

Axel smirked. "Looks like the majority has spoken".

Vexen rolled his eyes. "It's only three people. That's hardly the majority. Can't you count, you fucking dumb-" Before he knew it, he'd been forced up against the wall, fire at his throat.

Vexen liiiiiiked.

"You're gonna get enough of TREATING MY LIFE!" Axel threatened viciously. He was losing his credibility just because Vexen somehow developed a brain while he was dead...

Axel let his weapons sink back into nowhere and let Vexen go, who blushed fervently and made a note to write about this in his diary later.

"So", Axel turned back to the rest, his breathing rushed. "Have you decided yet?"

Xemnas growled with rage. "We're not going any-"

Demyx cut his superior off. " How bout Disneyland?"

"Are you kidding?" Larxene grimaced. There would be no sadism in Disneyland. "How about America?"

They all blinked. "What's an America?"

"Let's go to London". Saix cuddled his signed Harry Potter picture.

"Halloween Town!"

"The Underworld!"

"Fred's Gay Bar down the street!"

"..."

"Atlantica!"

"Fuck. I'm not singin..."

"I know!" Xemnas volunteered.

Zexion crossed his arms and eyed him suspiciously. "You're suddenly for it now?"

Xemnas gave his most convincing innocent look... which wasn't all that convincing. But those idiots bought it anyway. "Let's go to Destiny Islands!"

"Destiny Islands?" Axel asked. "Why does that sound so familiar?"

"You probably saw it on TV", Xemnas explained.

"Okay!" Axel foolishly agreed against his better judgement.

"So what's on Destiny Islands?" Lexaeus, the nobody, asked.

Silence.

"As if! What's to see there?" asked Xigbar, who hadn't spoke in quite sometime.

"Blue skies. The sun. Water. ("Dance, water! Dance!" Demyx put in before he was bitch slapped.) Sadism. Gay bars. Anything. You name it".

The Organization squealed in glee while the members that thought they were too cool to squeal nearly shitted themselves trying not to.

"Let's go!" Demyx stood up, recovering from his bitch slap. They all raced toward the black and purple Organization Gummi Ship, screaming their heads off about the ocean and gay bars and sunny beaches.

But Xemnas stayed behind, a slow, evil smirk slipping over his lips. He had something else in mind. Something much much worse.

MWAHAHAHAHAH!

K. I'm done. With this chapter anyway. Sorry if it sucks, I haven't written anything in forever. REVIIIIIIEW!

REVIEW!

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And TREAT MY LIFE means MAKE ME FEEL STUPID

Just incase you aren't on that level yet;)