A/N: Ahem, I'm sorry for such a long wait! Computer has been getting itself into trouble and Ryou wanted a break from getting molested by Bakura. Gotta make them fictional characters happy or else they won't work fer ya! ... Anyways, I'll be updating a lot now that I've got most of my problems sorted out (eh, for the MOST part) and you'll be happy. If anyone still sits around desperately clinging to their computer monitors asking it when this story will be updated, wait no longer!

Well then, shall we continue down this blood stained path? I think we shall.

----

Ryou blinked and returned to his normal state of mind, you know, after gathering whatever remained of his pretty sanity.

He shook his head lightly as if to ward off some disturbing thoughts. For a second the little innocent boy couldn't remember what had just happened. Alas, but the boy didn't know that what he thought had -just- occurred actually took place more than an hour ago. What a shock he would have when his pretty coffee colored eyes laid themselves on the nearest clock...

Pulling himself up off the comfortable floor, Ryou stretched out his legs to reawaken them. He knew he couldn't walk just yet (or else he'd wind up face first on the floor) and he had retained at least some common sense. One minute passed and Ryou felt it was safe to attempt to move away from the spot in the cozy room he had made home. Shuffling out of the said room, the youth ducked into the kitchen hoping to hell he had managed to avoid Bakura. Well yes... he was "hoping" he had avoided him.

This was most likely one of the first times he had really felt hungry in a long time. Ryou couldn't explain it. His stomach just twisted and churned, growling for some sort of sustenance. He couldn't deny himself food any longer for fear he'd wither away.

Food, food, food... what to eat... wow, never thought I'd see this day again. Bakura Ryou is actually hungry! And is actually searching for something to eat! Now, what to eat? A sandwich? Well, it would have to be something kind of light. Hmm... not really, it is still very early so I can eat plenty right now and just sleep it off. Feh, who knows when I'll be hungry again. It is only – 12:34 in the morning! Did I just magically doze off or something! I should be in bed! How long was I out for? I thought it was just a damned minute but obviously not... wait, I don't have to go to sleep so soon. I doubt I'm even going to go to school tomorrow. But 12: 34!

Unconsciously, the white haired mage was gripping the side of the kitchen counter as if for "dear" life. His thoughts wandered from there, almost completely eradicating his want for food. Without even realizing it, the boy reached over to the second drawer on his right. His hand tightened itself on the black knob as it pulled the drawer out. The container was filled with sharp cooking knives.

I have too much to worry about! Where did Bakura go if I've been out for so long? Do I even want to eat anymore? What's wrong with me?

His eyes shut themselves as he concentrated. His mind was still trying to remember what had taken place earlier, as well as trying to recover the want for food. While still thinking, his right hand found the handle of a fairly large knife. The utensil was drawn out slowly and held in his grip tightly.

It wasn't until Ryou felt a sharp pricking pain in his right thumb that he bothered to tear himself away from the thoughts forming themselves in his mind. Glancing down at the flaring pain he blinked as his mind registered the now bleeding thumb and the knife.

"Where the hell did that come from..."

Allowing the sharpened metal to drop to the counter, he examined the newly opened cut on his thumb. It was not deep at all; the only thing bad was that it was bleeding a bit. Just a little bit... you know, the throbbing pain and blood dripping everywhere. That's about it.

Ryou sighed as he finally decided to help himself out by bandaging the thumb. The damn thing was reminding him of the past... of the knives, of the thoughts...

He randomly stuck his damaged thumb into his mouth. Hey, right now the boy wasn't in the correct mindset... he was really confused and he fetl really, really weird. Hell, the youth couldn't even remember what happened earlier!

Sucking on the red sustenance that came from within the appendage, Ryou's little mind flew off on random thoughts. They basically came in spasms, never staying long enough for the boy to get a real analysis.

Blood. Knives tearing pale flesh.

Screams. White haired wizard holding his head.

Friends. The useless vessels who never cared.

Withering. A white rose falling apart.

Questions. Swirling around with no answer.

Suicide. Should he do it?

Help. What Ryou needed.

Death. An appealing path.

Insanity. An edge he was closer to each day.

As these things approached and fled, the boy would sigh and feel himself getting progressively worse. Not in the physical sense where he would feel sick or something, but more along the lines of the mental, twisted sense. He didn't understand why he felt like that right now; he had a sneaking suspicion that it could be because of the random little spasms.

He took one small nibble on the thumb in his mouth and grumbled something under his breath. He was off on his own train of thoughts yet again.

"Well, I told myself... right? Or should I just go on and get it over with? It's not like Bakura would really get angry or show any emotion. Hmm... the most he'll do is get angry at me for leaving my dead corpse on the floor with a pool of blood; he'd have to clean it all up. I wouldn't mind getting on his nerve..."

Unknowingly the white haired boy dragged himself out of the kitchen and up the quiet stairs. He was still sucking on his now raisin like thumb.

When the boy took the time to survey his surroundings he was sitting upright on his bed with the favored knife sitting beside him warmly. Twitching, Ryou glanced around the area to make sure nothing was amiss or disturbed. Feeling something leathery in his mouth he blinked and remembered the thumb... embarrassed in the smallest way he popped the part of his limb out of his mouth, taking another look around to make sure no one saw that. He could just hear the fangirls now. All of them squealing because they just found out that their little white haired prince was found sucking on his thumb. Knowing those crazed little girls, they had to have cameras somewhere...

Snapping back to attention was kind of hard, and once he was satisfied with himself the boy fell flat on his back to think. He was sure his thumb had mended itself nicely (maybe because he most likely spent an hour or two helping it along). He wasn't so sure however if his heart had healed itself over the years though; unlike his thumb it, his heart had no one or nothing to help it heal. Suicide was still heavily weighing him down and slothed it's way across his thoughts. Was it just some burden or was it a way out?

Settling down and making himself nice and comfortable, the emo little boy set out on his own thinking quest. He smirked when he thought this quest would help him decide whether or not to end his insignificant life or to hang in there.

He had nothing left. Why would he want to stay? There was still something there for him though, even if he didn't open his eyes and see.

A?N: End for now! I'll update when I finish chapter 19. Sorry for the wait my little fans, and the end will be cool... hopefully. See ya!

-Ryou Marik.