Dumbledore's conversation with Kreacher and the actual encounter with the horcrux had provided a wealth of information, and the grouchy elf had even been willing to share copies of his memories for their use. At Sirius's request Dumbledore retrieved the pensieve so they could all view the memories together at Grimmauld Place.
It was painful to watch a younger and less serpentine version of Voldemort treat Kreacher like he did, and even harder to witness what the potion had done to Regulus. As he drank it, he began to cry out for forgiveness to Sirius among others, and Harry watched as Sirius's stony expression eroded, showing the raw and painful emotion that he had been hiding underneath.
When they left the pensieve, Dumbledore shared a drink with Sirius and before they had left his godfather had embraced him harder than he could ever remember. He had thanked Kreacher then for all he did for Regulus and there seemed to be a new understanding between them.
When they arrived back to the school it was nearly midnight, but Dumbledore kept him going over some of the important things they had learned. They discussed how there were enchantments protecting the horcruxes meant to weaken those who would retrieve them; like the need for blood when entering the cave.
There were traps and likely compulsions that would pull you in even if you did manage to retrieve the horcrux. In the case of the locket, it was the overwhelming urge to drink from the lake and the inferi that would pull you under if you did.
Lastly, if the other horcruxes were protected similarly, it would be much easier if a second person were present. However, there were also things Voldemort hadn't considered in his hubris that provided exploits.
Kreacher had been able to bring Regulus directly inside the cave, bypassing most of the protections, which meant that Voldemort likely didn't account for the lowly creatures in his protections and wards. Dumbledore had told him then that he would consider all the new information before they would plan to go looking for any other horcruxes and had sent Harry to bed with the familiar note.
Harry had gone to bed too giddy to sleep and had ridden the slight feeling of victory brought on by the destruction of a horcrux throughout the entirety of the next week. He knew there was still a long way to go, but progress had been made and they were that much closer to making Voldemort mortal again.
Harry had shared the good news with Ron, Hermione, and Daphne, and they had been just as ecstatic as he had. When he made his way over to the seventh floor the next Friday for their DA meeting, he was still walking with an extra bounce in his step.
Hermione was still standing at the door despite them no longer keeping it secret and greeted him as he entered. Harry walked through the door smiling at those who were already present when the familiar feeling he had felt with the locket reappeared.
It was a strange sensation, not painful, but he felt like something was calling out to him. He had felt this feeling since they found the room but had always put it off as the magic of the castle. Now, however, he was able to place it and it was the same sensation the horcrux had given him in Grimmauld Place.
It clicked then. The horcrux. Dumbledore had assumed that the feeling he had felt was brought on by the nature of the locket, but it must have been by what was in the locket. Dumbledore had speculated that Voldemort had used his interview for the defense against the dark arts position to hide a horcrux, and if Harry's assumption was true, he had hidden it here.
Not this exact room, but a room he had designed using the room of requirement for the sole purpose of housing one of the horcruxes. "-Harryyy, are you okay?"
The voice snapped Harry out of his thoughts, and he blinked twice looking at Neville. "You looked like you were in a trance for a second there, Harry. Are you alright?" Harry nodded but said nothing as he made his way back to the door.
"Hermione, we need to get everyone out of here. I need to run and get Dumbledore, it's about the... you know." He said gesturing wildly with his hands. Hermione's eyes widened at the implication, but she nodded.
"I'll send a message on the coins and get everyone else out of here. You go get the headmaster." Harry inclined his head in agreement and took off in a sprint towards Dumbledore's office in a way reminiscent of less than a week prior when he had done the same thing after discovering the locket.
He had just made his way in front of the gargoyle and was preparing to state the password when the headmasters voice made him jump. "Harry, I thought you had plans for this evening." He said in a kind voice.
Harry turned around to face him. "Sir, I think I found another one." He whispered urgently and Dumbledore's eyes widened.
"In the castle?"
"Yes. I don't know how to explain it, but that feeling I told you about with the locket, the familiar one. I realized it was familiar because I feel it in the room of requirement." He said. Dumbledore's expression didn't change as he spoke, but he gestured for Harry to continue.
"When I walked in, I suddenly realized where it was from, and I think that maybe he used that room to hide it here." Harry finished looking at him.
Dumbledore stroked his beard. "That would make sense. I wasn't aware of this room until you began using it for defense and it is likely Voldemort had discovered it in his time here and again thought no one else would. Let me run up and procure the sword and then we will go."
He disappeared up the staircase and returned a few moments later, with the sword presumably tucked inside one of his deep pockets. They walked at a brisk pace up to the seventh floor and at the top of the last staircase they saw Hermione.
"I was just waiting here in case anyone didn't see the message and tried to make their way over." She told them. Dumbledore thanked her and excused her back to the common room before animating a suit of armor to block the staircase and two more to cover both ends of the corridor.
They stood in front of the portrait and Dumbledore cast a privacy bubble around them so no portraits or wayward students could hear them and then looked to Harry. "The way it works is you pace back and forth three times thinking of what you need, and a door should appear." Harry said and then began walking. He closed his eyes and thought to himself 'I need the room with a horcrux, I need the room with a horcrux, I need the room with a horcrux.'
When he finished, he opened his eyes, and nothing was there. He frowned and shared what he had thought of, with Dumbledore. "I assume the room is unaware of what a horcrux is." Dumbledore answered and then began to pace.
When he finished there was still no door and he frowned. "I asked for a room with dark magic inside of it." He told Harry. "I'm both disappointed and extremely pleased nothing appeared."
They continued trying different phrases for nearly an hour when Harry finally paced thrice asking for a room to hide something. A door appeared and Harry pushed it open.
The room was larger than the one they used for their defense lessons, the size of a large cathedral. There were high narrow windows high up and despite the late hour they bathed the room with light. Large walls of broken furniture, cauldrons and thousands of books and textbooks made little pathways and Harry realized this room must have been used to hide centuries worth of junk and valuables for Hogwarts students.
The strange sensation he had of something calling out to him was magnified and Harry nodded to Dumbledore. "I think this is it. The feeling is stronger now." Harry looked around taking in more of the room and saw winged catapults and Fanged Frisbees, some still with enough life in them to hover halfheartedly over the mountains of other forbidden items; there were chipped bottles of congealed potions, hats, jewels, cloaks; there were what looked like dragon eggshells, corked bottles whose contents still shimmered evilly, several rusting swords, and a heavy, bloodstained axe.
With the sheer number of items in the room Harry began to worry. They could search for weeks before stumbling onto whatever Voldemort had hidden. Dumbledore extracted his wand from his robes and began to cast a spell Harry did not recognize.
It took several minutes, and Dumbledore had his eyes closed in concentration as he muttered under his breath, all the while waving his wand in an intricate pattern. The tip of his wand began to glow the longer he casted and when he finally finished Dumbledore touched his wand to the floor.
A ripple of light and energy ballooned from the point where his wand made contact with the ground and Harry felt the pulse of magic pass through him spreading from his feet up to his head. When the magic reached his scar Harry fell to his knees and screamed.
He hadn't had any pain in his scar all year because of his occlumency lessons, and so he had screamed out of surprise as much as he had from the pain. When the pain subsided and he opened his eyes, he saw Dumbledore standing over him worriedly.
"Harry, I apologize, that spell was one of my own creation made to seek out dark magic related to Voldemort within the room. I had based it off some of the diagnostics I was able to run on the locket after we destroyed it, but I hadn't anticipated for it to react so violently with your scar, otherwise I would not have cast it." He explained with apology in his voice, but Harry waved him off getting shakily back to his feet.
Dumbledore had a concerned look on his face as well as another expression. Harry realized it was a look of fear. "S'okay sir, I was more surprised than anything else. The scar hasn't hurt me since I've learned occlumency and it just scared me for a second to feel it flare up again." He rubbed at his scar absentmindedly and was pleased to feel that it hadn't split open.
"Did the spell work?" He asked after a moment when Dumbledore continued to stare at him with a worried expression on his face. That seemed to shake the headmaster out of his thoughts.
"It did indeed work. I got two pings. Your scar and another item to our right towards the middle of the room. I will lead the way; do you feel okay to walk?"
Harry nodded. He didn't understand why Dumbledore seemed so concern, he had dealt with worse pain at the hands of the headmaster during their dueling practice. Dumbledore gave him one last worried glance but led the way to where his spell had pinged.
As they neared, Dumbledore began to cast a series of spells that would show any wards or protective magics. Harry was pleased to note that he could recognize the spell as well as what the flashes and colors meant but was surprised by the results.
"Are there really no protections in place?" He asked and Dumbledore looked to him, that strange expression still on his face.
"It is possible that he casted protections that the castle removed when the room was dormant. It is also possible that he did not cast anything for fear I may sense it, or simply out of pride thinking no one would ever find it. Whatever the case may be, there are not protections, no." He answered.
They turned a corner and suddenly the feeling he had felt with the locket first had magnified. He turned and saw a tiara sitting on a stack of books, to the right of it was a cage with the skeleton of something that had once had five legs and to the left a chipped bust of an ugly old warlock. Harry pointed. "I think that's it, sir. Is it Ravenclaw's Diadem?"
Dumbledore looked at him and the expression he had been wearing turned to one of pride. "It is, indeed. I'm glad you remembered it."
"I can't take the credit. When Hermione had found out the founder's artifacts might have been used to create them, she made me a detailed list of which artifacts each founder created and what they were supposed to do." Harry replied. "Is it true this one can make you as clever as Rowena Ravenclaw, sir?"
Dumbledore nodded. "While I am not sure it can make you quite as clever as Rowena, I do believe that it enhances the knowledge of he or she that wears it. It of course hasn't been seen in centuries and so we cannot know for sure, but I do believe the stories to be true. Although I'm sure Tom enchanted it in such a way that if you wear it instead of knowledge, you will likely find pain."
"Is there a way we could remove the horcrux and keep the tiara? It felt bad destroying the locket and I'm sure it would feel worse to destroy something as priceless as that." He said hopefully. The pained expression Dumbledore had been wearing returned then.
"I agree that it would be wonderful to remove the horcrux while keeping the tiara intact and I have searched far and wide to look for ways to do so, but unfortunately I was unable to find any other way." His voice was strained as he spoke. "Come Harry, let us destroy this so we can return to my office. I must speak to you about something."
Harry was confused by the sadness in his voice, especially as they were about to be one step closer to making Voldemort mortal. Two horcruxes in less than a week, it looked like luck was finally on his side. Nonetheless he nodded and took a step back as Dumbledore unsheathed the sword.
The horcrux began to spew out a similar black mist as the locket had, but Dumbledore struck quickly this time, before it could take a shape. Once again Harry heard the piercing unholy scream of the horcrux as it died, and then sludge began to pour out of it.
Dumbledore took a canvas bag out of his robe and placed the tiara inside of it gingerly, before placing it back in his robe pocket. Harry was bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet at the success of their endeavor, but again Dumbledore appeared distracted and sad. "Come Harry, let us return to my office."
The trip down to the headmaster's office passed quickly as Harry went over the evening again in his head. Another horcrux was destroyed. That was half of them now. They really had a chance to get this done and the task that had seemed so impossible a week ago was well within their grasp.
They made their way up the spiral staircase and Harry took his customary seat as the headmaster made his way behind the desk. "I want to discuss with you Harry," he began carefully, looking at Harry as he spoke, "why you can sense the horcruxes, and why my spell had that effect on you."
Harry nodded curiously. "You have an idea? I had thought it was weird, but when I went back into the room of requirement, and I felt it again I just knew." He said and Dumbledore looked at him sadly.
"Harry… the spell I had cast was to check for the residual magic of Voldemort's soul. It should have only pinged horcruxes." He said and Harry stared blankly back, not comprehending the words. "As for why you sense them, I-" He hesitated. "I believe the horcruxes call to one another." He said, his voice cracking at the end. "The souls natural state is whole, and they wish to be together." Harry was confused. Why would that apply to him in this situation? Why would that mean he could sense them?
Suddenly, what the headmaster was implying crashed over him and Harry felt the air leave his lungs and his head began to spin. "I'm a… surely you can't mean that I'm one of the… the horcruxes sir?"
Dumbledore looked at him with sadness etched across his face. "I cannot be certain, but in light of this revelation I have… a theory." He sounded almost broken as he spoke. "I believe Voldemort had planned to make his 6th and final horcrux the night he was going to murder you. He must have already performed the rituals and prepared himself, but when his spell rebounded, he could not control where the fragment went." He said softly, sadly. "I believe that the part of his soul he intended to split latched onto the only living thing nearby." He finished looking at Harry's scar "I believe it latched onto you."
"Sir… are you saying he's been in- inside of me this entire time?"
"I am not sure Harry. If I am correct then I doubt he knows of the true nature behind your connection, otherwise he would not attempt to kill you." Harry felt disgusted and Dumbledore must have picked up on it.
"I don't believe the horcrux influences you. I have known both you and Tom on an extremely personal level and can say there are no two people more unalike one another." He said reassuringly.
Harry realized that he was likely saying it to make him feel better but latched onto the words regardless. He stood from the chair running a had desperately through his hair. "Is there a way we can know for sure? And if so, can we destroy it?"
Dumbledore ran diagnostics then, a series of spells and charms focused on his scar. It took several minutes and when he finished Harry knew the news would be bad by the look on his face. "It comes back just like it did 15 years ago. A cursed scar with dark magic flowing in and around it, but now that I know what I am looking for, his magic is easy to sense, as dark and perverted as it is." He took a steadying breath, "The diagnostics show nearly the same results as they have for the previous horcruxes." He said, and just like that, Harry's worst fears were realized.
"Is there a way we can get rid of it?" He blurted out desperately. "Surely, we can get it out?"
Dumbledore hesitated. Harry was about to ask what was going on when it clicked. There was only one way they knew to destroy horcruxes, Dumbledore had just told him so no more than a half hour earlier. Harry had lamented what a pity it was they couldn't get rid of the horcrux without destroying the vessel it was in, and now he could almost laugh at the irony. The locket, the diadem, now him. He was the vessel.
Harry could feel himself begin to hyperventilate but despite the rapid breaths his body couldn't get the oxygen it required. His head was spinning, and he felt an odd sensation like he was being crushed into himself. His feet stumbled, and he fell back into the chair. "So, I- I need to die. For him to die." He said it as a statement rather than asking. Dumbledore looked at him with the most anguished expression he had ever seen on his mentors face.
"I will look for alternatives Harry. I will scour every book I can find. Every piece of information-"
"You already did that, sir. Otherwise, you wouldn't have destroyed the ones we already had. If there was a way you would already know." He replied with a withdrawn tone of voice.
Dumbledore's face grew even more anguished, but he did not deny it. Harry allowed a moment to wallow in the unfairness of it all. He had lost his parents and been forced to grow up in a 'home' devoid of love and affection. He had been pulled out of that situation and brought to a world where magic was real, and he finally fit in, only to have been nearly murdered year after year. Then, just when things were looking up, just when he thought he could be happy one day he had it all snatched away from him.
He thought back to Daphne, the Weasleys, and Hermione. He would never be able to grow old with them like he had wished, but that didn't mean they couldn't. He felt his resolve strengthen within him. If he died and took Voldemort with him, they would be able to live their lives free of his oppression. They would be able to get married, raise children, and have families without fear of death eaters or Voldemort.
Harry decided to in that moment that he would stand fast, "It's okay, sir. If… if that's what needs to be, to be uh, to be done. Then I'll do it." Dumbledore looked at him his expression unchanging and Harry saw a tear fall down his mentor's cheek, he felt his own begin to fall.
"I know you will Harry, and I am so, so, so sorry. If there is any way, we will find it… I swear it to you I will look at every resource and reference, scour every text."
Harry nodded. "I know you will, thank you sir. If you don't mind, could I maybe head to bed? This is… a lot to take in." Dumbledore nodded and Harry left the office.
As the headmaster sat there, the tears he had been struggling to hold at bay finally were allowed to flow freely, and for the first time since his sister died, Dumbledore began to cry like a child. The quiet heaving sobs ran through him and shook his body. He could not and did not even attempt to hold back the pain he was feeling.
It had all clicked so suddenly. "Neither can live while the other survives." And the power that Tom knew not? A love so deep for his friends that he would die freely for them. He was reminded of a passage from the Christian Bible "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
He sat there in his chair, thinking of the young man that he now considered to be his own grandson as much as if he were related by blood. He thought of his bravery and his courage. He thought of all the mistakes he had made in regards to him and how Harry had not crumbled, but had come out stronger from them, like coal refined into a diamond.
He thought of the hope that he had seen his eyes recently that had given Dumbledore the resolve to end Voldemort quickly this time. He had told himself there would be no war. He would not stand by idly again like he had with Gellert while others suffered the consequences of his inaction.
He thought of the familial love that Harry had shared with Ron and Hermione, and how their bond grew ever stronger, day after day, year after year. He thought of the new love the young man had found with Daphne, his first romantic love. He allowed himself to smile for a moment.
Then he remembered the defeat in Harry's eyes when it had all clicked. The understanding that flashed across his face before it set into a determined defiant look as he made his decision. He thought of the unfair and cruel twist that fate had bestowed upon the poor child, and Dumbledore wept.
Daphne was slightly concerned as she made her way to the Great Hall. Hermione had told her yesterday evening that the DA meeting was canceled because Harry had possibly discovered a lead on another horcrux and was running to meet Dumbledore. She had gone back to her dormitory and sat on her bed waiting, her mirror in hand, because usually Harry would ring her on their enchanted mirrors following any of his meetings with Dumbledore and give her a summary of what happened.
Last night however, she had waited until nearly two in the morning before she gave up and let sleep claim her, resolving to try again the next morning. She had woken up at 6 am exhausted, but instantly reached for the mirror, trying it multiple times with no answer. She got dressed, pocketed the mirror, and decided to just go to breakfast and wait for him.
She was the second person in the hall that morning and took a seat at the end of the Slytherin table nearest to the entrance. She buttered toast before adding some marmalade and nibbled at it attempting to calm her nerves as the hall slowly filled.
About three quarters of an hour later Ron walked in with Hermione, but Harry was nowhere in sight. She stood quickly and made her way over to the other two thirds of the Golden Trio. They noticed her just as they were sitting down, and Hermione sent her a small smile while Ron nodded his head in acknowledgement with a confused look on his face.
"Hi Daphne, did you need something?" Hermione asked and then noticed the worried expression on Daphne's face, "Is everything alright?" She asked slightly more concerned. Ron, who had begun to pile food onto a plate paused and looked back around at Daphne at Hermione's question.
"Uh, yes. I think so. It's just that Harry usually will speak to me on the mirrors," she said lowering her voice as to not be overheard, "after one of his meetings with Dumbledore. He didn't last night, and I was hoping you guys might know more." She said hopefully.
Hermione looked at her apologetically. "We usually wait for him as well, but it was close to one in the morning and he wasn't back yet, so we went to bed." She replied contritely. "Did you hear him come in Ron? Or was he still sleeping when you came down?"
Ron shook his head. "Nah, Harry's usually pretty quiet coming in so he doesn't wake the other guys and he's usually up first in the mornings, so I didn't think much of him being gone before I got up. Maybe he went out to train?"
Daphne shook her head. "He usually carries his mirror with him at all times, even if he's training. When I call him, he'll answer it and tell me where he's at, but I called him four times this morning and no response."
Daphne noticed that Ron and Hermione's expressions had taken on some of the worry she was feeling. Ron spoke up again. "We have quidditch practice in 30 minutes, you can come with me and I'm sure we'll find him there. He probably just had a late night and forgot his mirror."
Daphne nodded and took a seat next to the two Gryffindors hoping Harry would walk in and that Ron was right. He didn't. After 20 minutes Ron got up and began to walk to the pitch, Daphne and Hermione in tow.
No one spoke as they walked together, and Daphne couldn't help but notice that the weather continued to improve as the morning sun was warming her skin. She decided that after she had dressed Harry down for scaring her, she would make him walk her around the lake to their favorite spot, near the rock.
Ron made his way inside the men's changing room and, after ensuring everyone was decent, invited Hermione and Daphne inside. As they walked in properly Daphne saw the twins dressed in their practice robes. "Is Harry in here?" Ron asked and Daphne looked at the two twins hopefully.
"No, and by the sound of it he won't be coming." Said one of the twins, Daphne never could tell which was which.
"What do you mean he isn't coming?" Ron asked confusedly before Daphne had a chance to.
The other twin replied, "We caught up with Angelina on our way to the pitch, she had Ginny in tow."
"We asked her what Ginny was doing here and she said that she had to call her up." The other twin took back over. "Our first thought was that Alicia or Katie weren't feeling well for the day, so we asked if that's what was going on."
"But it turns out Harry resigned from the team this morning, and Ginny is coming on as our permanent replacement seeker."
Daphne muttered what sounded vaguely like a question under her breath while Ron spoke back up "Why would he resign?"
The twins shrugged their shoulders in unison looking at one another. "George?" said who could only be Fred.
"Apparently Harry had caught up to her early this morning. He said with Slytherins suspension and our two wins we're practically a lock for the cup. He said that he had other things he needed to take care of." George responded.
Fred took on the tale then. "Angelina wasn't happy, she tried to get him to stay on, but he just said he couldn't and left. She's been in a mood ever since according to Katie and Alicia."
Daphne thanked them and turned to head out of the changing room back towards the castle to search for him. She was walking quickly when she heard Hermione's voice call out behind her. "Wait up!"
Daphne turned and saw her half jogging to catch up. "Thanks." The other girl said, and they continued their walk back together.
Daphne couldn't help but let her worry and frustration show on her face and when she glanced at Hermione, she saw those feelings mirrored in the other girls features. "You know Harry better than anyone, what do you think is going on?" Daphne asked after a minute.
Hermione didn't speak for a moment. "It's hard to say." She finally said. "Harry's been much more open this year than he's ever been, but he can be stubborn. If he quit the quidditch team, then my guess is that he discovered something last night that made him think he could use the time better."
Daphne nodded having come to the same conclusion. "I just wish he would let me know he's okay, the prat." She replied and Hermione chuckled.
"Harry's always been bad at that. He focuses so much on whatever the perceived issue is that he forgets about everything else. I'm sure even now he's in the library trying to hopelessly look for books on whatever it is that's going on." She replied soothingly.
"Yeah, I wouldn't doubt it" Daphne agreed. "I wish we could use his damned map to find him."
Hermione voiced her own agreeance, and they made their way into the castle. "Why don't you check the Hall and the kitchens, and I'll check Gryffindor tower and we can meet back at the library." Hermione insisted and Daphne accepted the idea.
She checked the hall and then on the way down to the kitchens she ran into Tracey who was returning to their common room, but Harry wasn't in either place. Daphne filled Tracey in on what was going on and she accompanied her to the library where Hermione was waiting for them.
"Nothing?" she asked.
"Nothing." Daphne concurred.
"Our best bet is to probably stay still, he'll turn up." Said Hermione.
Daphne wanted to keep looking but knew she was probably right. It was a big castle, and they'd likely chase themselves in circles. Instead, Daphne sat at one of the tables and attempted to get some work done.
She tried to concentrate on what she was writing but was struggling. After only ten minutes or so Hermione nudged her and pointed towards the entrance. She saw Harry standing there looking at her with a strange expression. His face was pale, and his eyes had dark black-blue bags underneath them. His hair was more a mess than usual, and he looked weary and exhausted.
Daphne felt relief flood through her veins nonetheless and stood up quickly. "Harry! You had me so worried. How did everything go with Dumbledore?" She said quietly while wrapping him in a hug.
She felt him stiffen and he didn't hug her back. When he spoke, his voice sounded more tired than she had ever heard it. "Could we talk? Privately?"
Harry left the headmasters office in a trance. He didn't know how he got there but he found himself in the 7th floor corridor. He paced three times, not thinking of anything but a door appeared anyway. When Harry opened it, he had found a replica of the Gryffindor boys' dormitory with only one bed. He stepped closer to the bed before he realized belatedly that he could no longer feel the taint of the horcrux in the room as he stood there.
He didn't think he could sleep with the state his mind was in at the moment but toed off his shoes and socks before stripping out of his robe. He got into bed and didn't bother to cover himself with a blanket, preparing for what he was sure would be a restless night, but sleep found him quickly.
With the revelation that had taken place the previous evening and the stress brought on by it, Harry's occlumency failed him, and for the first time in a long time, he dreamt. He dreamt of Voldemort and green flashes and a woman's voice calling out and pleading to spare her son. He dreamt of cursed scars and horcruxes that erupted in an explosion of black tar and ungodly screams.
He dreamt of Quirrell, a second profane head growing out of the back if his own. Of the Chamber of secrets, basilisks, and diaries. He dreamt of Trelawney's prophecy in third year and of Pettigrew's escape. The scene shifted to a dark graveyard, and he heard a harsh high voice command "Kill the spare!" He saw Cedric's eyes glassy and unseeing stare into nothingness. He relived Voldemort rising out of a cauldron and felt the pain of the crucio he had hit him with as it tore through every cell in his body so that he knew nothing but pain.
And then he saw himself, as though he were standing in front of a mirror. His scar was oozing out black sludge and his eyes flashed red, as his features became more serpentine. He watched as this other Harry picked up a wand – Voldemort's wand – and turned it on a group of faceless people in the distance. Flashes of green colored the darkness and Harry heard Voldemort's cold dark laughter echoing throughout the shadow.
He walked over to the lifeless bodies and his heart stopped when he saw Ron and Hermione lying on the floor, as if petrified. They had the same glassy lifeless eyes Cedric had. He looked onwards and saw Headmaster Dumbledore, Luna, Neville and all of his friends lying with unseeing open eyes looking back at him accusingly. Killed by his own hand.
As he made his way to the end of the pile, he knew what was waiting for him. He lit his wand and saw honey blonde hair and electric blue eyes, as sightless as those before them. Harry wanted to scream but he couldn't, his voice didn't work. He sat there for a few moments, looking and wishing for them to come back.
Suddenly, they all stood, surrounding him and pointing accusing fingers his way. They began to walk towards him, their limbs moving jerkily as if pulled by a puppeteer, their unseeing eyes finding his. Harry wanted to run, he wanted to scream at them and say it wasn't his fault – 'I didn't mean to. It was the Horcrux!' – but his feet were stuck, and his voice didn't work.
They marched closer and closer and just as they were about to touch him Harry startled awake with a scream. His scar tingled and he was breathing heavily. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat.
He took a few moments to reorient himself and slow his breathing. Once he had calmed somewhat, he cast a quick tempus charm which told him it was just after four in the morning. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again even if he wanted to, so he rose from the bed, and paced the room. He felt his anger rise and noticed after a moment that there seemed to be a box full of ceramic objects, mostly plates, that had appeared in the center of the room.
Harry screamed letting out all of the rage, pain, and suffering he held within as he took item after item and flung them at the wall. When his body was so sore that it hurt to throw the plates, he pulled out his wand and began banishing them instead. He thought it must have been a couple hours before he finally exhausted himself magically and physically and he slumped onto the floor, his back against the wall, feeling utterly defeated.
As he sat there Harry thought back to his conversation with Cyrus over the winter holidays. "I want you to promise me Harry" he had said. "To protect Daphne from herself. I want your word that if there is even a chance for her to be hurt, you'll put her first. She will be stubborn and refuse the help, she may even resent you thinking she can handle things on her own, but I need you to promise that you will do your best to protect her no matter the cost. Even if she hates you for it, I need to know you will prioritize her above all else."
Harry's mind flashed back to his nightmare, to Daphne lying on the ground, dead at Voldemort's hands, at his own hands. Cyrus' words had been prophetic it would seem. Harry knew that when he had told him that, he had meant protecting her from Voldemort or Death Eaters, but fate was cruel. No, Harry would be forced to make the most difficult decision of his life, the biggest sacrifice he had ever had to endure. To protect Daphne from himself.
If Voldemort found out about the connection, he would undoubtedly use the horcrux to hurt her. If he didn't then she would have to endure the hurt and pain of losing him when he died to secure Voldemort's mortality. She would try to save him, putting herself in the crossfire, or she would have to suffer following his death.
He decided then he wouldn't tell her about the horcrux. He wouldn't give her the opportunity to come up with a fruitless plan that would give her faith or optimism, only to have it brutally stripped away just like Harry had.
Harry remained on the floor and for the first time since he was a child, he allowed himself to cry openly and freely, to shed his tears and scream and curse the injustice of it all. He had always tried his best, he did what he thought was right. He had endured abuse and hardships one after another since that damned Halloween night that had left him an orphan. He knew the universe owed him nothing, but still he had dared to hope there would be something that would balance out all of the bad he had lived through. Now he knew there wasn't and there wouldn't be.
As Harry reflected, he thought the worst part of this entire situation wasn't him dying but knowing what he had to in regards to Daphne. He found himself wondering why he had even allowed himself to get invested. To care for someone new. He had known that Voldemort was coming after him. Hell, he had spent the last year since Cedric's death convincing himself that if all he managed was to take the bastard out with him it would be a success, but lately he had tried to convince himself that there was a chance.
That he could train and put the work in. That he could defeat Voldemort and live a normal life. He had thought that maybe one day this would all be over, and he could get married, have a kid or two, work some boring job, and do everything he had ever dreamed of since he was a kid locked in a dark cupboard. He had been foolish enough to hope. To try to see the brighter side, and the glass just a quarter of the way of the full.
But now? Now he knew the truth. He would die in this confrontation with the dark lord. There were no maybes, no chance at a life after Voldemort. His sole purpose would be to defeat Voldemort and die in the process because a prophecy – a prophecy by fucking Trelawney of all people – said so. How many times had she predicted his death and Harry had laughed it off?
Because of his optimism, his hope, he had pulled Daphne into this mess, and Harry hurt because he knew she would hurt. He didn't think he was strong enough to do what he had to, but then the words of Cyrus Greengrass rang out again in his mind, "She may even resent you thinking she can handle things on her own, but I need you to promise that you will do your best to protect her no matter the cost. Even if she hates you for it, I need to know you will prioritize her above all else."
Harry stood and began to make his way towards the Gryffindor common room to get his map and his cloak. He was a man of his word, and he would keep his promise to Cyrus to prioritize Daphne above all else. She would be upset Harry knew, but when he died and the prophecy fulfilled itself, she would be grateful that he had ended it earlier rather than later.
Besides, she would no longer be in danger with her Slytherin housemates or Voldemort. Her family would be safe and more importantly they would all be alive. She was strong, she would recover Harry told himself trying to build up his resolve.
He walked inside the portrait hole and noticed Angelina was seated at a table sketching formations for their quidditch practice. He made his way over to her and resigned from the team. She had been upset, and asked him to reconsider, but Harry couldn't bring himself to feel bad.
He ran up to grab a change of clothes, his cloak, and his map, and to freshen up slightly before leaving again through the portrait hole. He hadn't bothered checking the mirror that was sitting in his trunk. He scanned the map and saw Daphne was in the great hall at the Slytherin table and began to make his way down, attempting to steel himself as he walked.
He hadn't even made it to the first staircase when an elf appeared in front of him. "Mister Harry Potter!" It squeaked at him.
Harry nodded his head in acknowledgement and waited. The elf spoke again "Headmaster Dumbledore be wanting to see you in his office. He be saying it is not urgent, but he would be liking to speak to you when you can."
Harry was tempted to skip the summons, he did say after all that it wasn't urgent, but he changed his course heading for the headmaster's office anyway. At the least it would give him slightly more time to strengthen his resolve.
The gargoyle didn't even wait for the password, moving out of the way as soon as Harry stepped in front of it. He made his way up the winding staircase and saw Dumbledore seated behind his desk, bags underneath his eyes. Harry knew he didn't look much better.
"Harry, wont you please sit?" Dumbledore asked him, gesturing to his usual chair. Harry sat and Dumbledore poured out two cups of tea. Harry picked up his cup and drank a large swallow, allowing the scalding liquid to burn its way down his throat.
"Last night was not easy for me, and I cannot begin to imagine how it must have been for you. I wanted to reach out to you to see how you were feeling." Dumbledore told him simply.
Harry considered his answer for a moment taking another drink of the hot liquid. "I don't know how to feel sir." He replied honestly. "I know what has to be done, and I'm willing to do it, but I'm not happy about it. I- I had allowed myself to hope that maybe with enough training I would be able to beat him, but I guess it wasn't meant to be."
Dumbledore looked at him with pain in his eyes. "Just like I promised you yesterday night Harry, I will check every reference and call in every favor to see if I can find something."
Harry nodded almost imperceptibly but said nothing as he let the words pass over him. He would not allow himself to fall in the trap of believing there was a way out. That had been what had gotten him into this mess in the first place.
Dumbledore looked at him sadly. "Harry, I know it seems impossible, but we will figure this out."
Harry again nodded. "I think we should kick up our training sir." Harry replied. Dumbledore looked at him sadly and Harry continued. "Now that we know that- that I can sense them, we can hopefully find them a lot easier. We can start scouting possible hiding places. And even if I have to die, I want to make sure I do as much as I can before I let… before he kills me." Harry finished, forcing out the words.
Dumbledore's eyes flashed with an emotion Harry couldn't quite place. "There will hopefully be no need for that Harry, but I agree that increasing your training could be beneficial." He said after a moment.
Harry nodded. "I resigned from the quidditch team this morning and I'm going to let Hermione know that I won't be doing lessons for the DA anymore either." Harry said and he could see Dumbledore was about to protest. "Sir, with all due respect, the quidditch cup is basically already ours and with Tonks teaching defense now the DA is just extra practice, which Hermione is more than capable of running. We should be focusing our time and effort where it matters."
Dumbledore nodded after a moment. "Very well, but I would remind you like I have before to make sure you live your life and enjoy it, Harry."
Harry thought back to how Dumbledore had originally phrased it, 'to not spend so much time trying to stay alive that you forget to live'. Well Harry knew he wasn't going to stay alive so what was the point.
He finished his tea and declined a second cup, standing before Dumbledore had the chance to dismiss him. The headmaster didn't protest and once again told him to reach out for anything he might need. Harry agreed before making his way out of the office. He remembered his initial plan and checked the map once more. He saw Daphne together with Tracey and Hermione in the library, and he made his way down.
He found them seated at their usual table with some schoolwork spread out in front of them. He looked at Daphne from afar and thought she looked beautiful sitting there in a white blouse with her hair falling down her shoulders.
Hermione noticed him first and looked at him with relief. She tapped Daphne and then looked at him again reading his face and frowning. She had always been perceptive when it came to Harry. Daphne followed her gaze, and he could see relief on her face as well. "Harry!" She said getting up to hug him. "You had me so worried. How did everything go with Dumbledore?" She asked quietly.
Harry just looked at her, unable to speak. He wanted to say something, anything, but his throat closed, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He pushed the panic and anxiety that had been building in him over the last few hours down, and let out a strangled "Could we talk? Privately?"
Daphne's expression shifted into a frown, and she nodded worriedly. "Let me just grab my things." As she packed her bag Harry saw Hermione looking at him questioningly. He avoided her eyes and turned around.
After a minute Daphne took his hand and Harry flinched. She looked at him with concern plastered all over her face. Harry tried to retract his hand, but she wouldn't allow him to, squeezing it tightly with her own. Instead, she led him quickly down a corridor and up another. Harry knew she was leading him to an unused classroom that they had used on occasion for private conversations or snogging. She looked like she wanted to say something as they walked, but mercifully kept quiet the entire way there.
They arrived a few minutes later and Daphne cast a silent privacy spell and locking charm on the door. Harry smiled to himself proudly thinking of all the progress she had made before the reality of the situation snapped him back into the present.
"What's wrong Harry? Did something happen?" She said, worry and disquiet written in her features and lacing her words.
Harry looked at her, he was trying to force his mouth to move, but it wouldn't. He felt a tear run a wet track down his cheek and rubbed at it furiously. He needed to be strong for her.
"Harry?" She asked again and the worry in her voice had been replaced with panic. "Harry, what's going on?"
Harry looked at her and willed his mouth to open and his tongue to form the words. His voice sounded hollow as he spoke, as if somebody had possessed his body and made him say the things he was saying while Harry was trapped and forced to listen.
"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
Daphne's face turned into one of surprise and then confusion. "What are you talking about Harry?" She snapped more angrily now.
"I- I think we need to breakup." He said and the tears that he fought hard to keep at bay spilled out once more in earnest clouding his vision and running down his face. His lungs drew in a deep gasp of air as an involuntary sob racked his body.
He wiped at his eyes and his vision cleared. He could see Daphne was crying as well, now and his heart broke all over again.
"Why are you saying this, Harry?" She asked, her voice breaking. "Was- was it something I did?"
Harry shook his head angrily. "No. You were perfect, you are perfect." He affirmed quickly.
"Then why? Harry plea-"
"I can't tell you. I can't tell you, but-" another involuntary sob forced him to pull air into his lungs. He took a few deep breaths trying to compose himself. "But we need to break up. I'm sorry." He could see the tears flowing down her face and heard her own sob burst out, shaking her body.
She tried to speak, but her crying made it difficult. Harry knew it was just a matter of time before she got the words out and feared that whatever she said would convince him not to go through with it, so he stood quickly and made his way to the exit. "I'm so sorry" he said once more as he opened the door, too cowardly to look back at her before walking out of the classroom and closing the door behind himself.
He took out his invisibility cloak and threw it over his body, and not a second to soon as Daphne flung open the door and looked in both directions. When she didn't see him, she fell to the ground with her back against the wall and sobbed. Harry stood there and watched, casting a silencing charm over himself so he could cry freely.
He wanted nothing more than to kneel next to her. To hold her, comfort her, and be there for her, but he couldn't. Instead, utilizing every ounce of his will power, he turned away from her and walked down the corridor.
He hated himself in this moment. Daphne was hurting because of him, crying because of him. The sobs and red rimmed eyes were because of him. How could he have been so careless?
He didn't want to go back to Gryffindor tower or the library or the room of requirement, so he let his feet carry him. He was so lost in his thoughts that it took him a few minutes to realize where he had ended up.
He sat next to the rock by the lake – 'our spot' he thought to himself bitterly – and stared out into the serene calmness of the still water and the forest beyond it. As he sat just one thought crossed his mind. This was Voldemort's fault. His childhood hadn't been enough and the monster had now robbed him of his future as well.
He would die having never told Daphne that he loved her and with her not knowing why he had done what he'd done. For that Harry would make him pay. Sure, he knew he wouldn't live through this, but before he died, he was going to make Voldemort hurt. He was going to make him feel pain beyond anything he had ever felt before, and only after he was begging for mercy would Harry allow himself to leave this earth.
AN: As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter if you care to share them. This is one I've been working on since the beginning of the fic and one of the chapters that served as an inspiration for this fic, so any feedback would be appreciated. On a slightly more personal note, I celebrate my birthday this weekend. I will be taking a small trip and jumping out of an airplane as a way to celebrate another turn around the sun, so I apologize if responses are late. Thank you all for reading and for your continued support. I'll see you next time 😊
AN 2: If this chapter didn't help you meet your angst requirements for the day, I posted an angsty Harry centric one shot called 'Dear Mum and Dad' on my profile. It's rather short with no pairing. Feel free to check it out if you'd like.