Back again, with another craptacular one-shot! I know I promised a few people a sequel to If Only I Had Known, but this just sprung into my head and I had to do it…even if it sucks… XD
About that sequel, I WILL do it eventually. Not right now though.
Until then, I thought I'd tide you over with a nice little angsty Roxas/Axel.
Enjoy!
Roxas' POV
Love…
Such a meaningless word to one without a heart…but if that's the case, then why does it mean so much to me? And why can HE say it with such feeling….as if he'd found his heart? And why does his trickery seem so believable?
Axel's face can show such emotion, emotion he has no right no have, but is it possible he does? Did Axel find a way to restore his heart, or is he just tricking me like everyone else?
I wish I knew…
Roxas, do you remember what it was like to love…?
Such a simple question that left me completely at loss for words…Did I? Do I?
What IS love? I can't even remember ever feeling that for anyone…
Who could love a Nobody? Who would want to? We cannot love back, or even pretend to if we can't remember.
"Roxas!" a voice jostled me out of my thoughts…it annoyed me greatly and I glared at the red-haired man before me. "You home, buddy? I asked you a question!"
"Leave me alone! I don't remember anything!" He looked so put out and actually pouted at the ground…He looked sincerely sad…how is this possible?
"Axel…do you have a heart?" I spat out before I could stop myself. He looked at me strangely and felt my forehead,
"You know we don't have hearts…" he murmured quietly, looking around to make sure no one else had heard me. He seemed nervous all of a sudden. Is he hiding something…?
I want to find out…
He's been acting so strange lately…there has to be a reason…Could it be as simple as that he's remembered loving someone? Or is it more…Like…could he have discovered his heart?
No! If he had he would have told someone! He would have at least confided in me, his best friend…right?
"Axel, if you found your heart you'd tell me…right?"
He was silent…he chewed on his lip and stared sideways at the ground. "There's a way…" he whispered, pulling me close and putting his mouth to my ear so no one else would hear. My eyes widened and I couldn't speak. "But it's…troublesome…One must share something very special with their lover from their life before they became a Nobody."
"What?" I asked eagerly, seizing the front of his robe. He put his hands up in defense and looked uncomfortable.
"Chill out! It's not as easy as you think! It's a painful process…all the emotions that person has ever experienced are magnified tenfold and then pretty much explode all at once within their body…it's…emotionally scaring…" he explained carefully, removing my fists from him.
"Have you remembered your loved one?" what he said didn't faze me. If I could get my heart back, I didn't care how painful it would be, or why.
If it was possible, Axel looked even more nervous. "Yeah…" he muttered. Suddenly he laughed. "Ain't pretty though…it's gonna be tough gettin' my heart back at this rate…"
"Who is it?"
"…You, man…"
Those two words stunned me more than words could describe. It was as if I could barely comprehend what had come out of his mouth…Me? Impossible…
"Axel…we're both guys…" I reminded him. Maybe he forgot? Xemnas always said I looked like a girl…it was worth a shot, right?
"I know." Damnit. "You think I don't know a guy when I see one? I can't help this any more than you can, you know." He looked a little angry now, maybe hurt…? He's a great actor…
I didn't notice him leaning closer and closer to me until his arms had locked around my waist. I tried to wiggle away, but it was too late…he continued to close the distance between us, inch by inch, until our noses were touching and our mouths were less them millimeters apart…his eyes were already closed and I had to admit how incredibly handsome he was…for a man.
Our lips touched. A sensation unlike any other I'd ever felt in my life swept over me. It was pain, it was rapture, it was ecstasy and it was terrible…a swirling torrent of misery and joy bubbled within me. I heard Axel groan in pain, but he kept going. We finally grew too weak to hold ourselves up and collapsed on the ground.
The pain lasted for such a long time…I wanted to stop…it wasn't worth it…It was like every pore in my body was suddenly being stabbed by sharp, rusty needles and torn open until every bit of my being was pouring blood…even that didn't come close…but Axel held me to him as if he would die if he let go. We weren't even kissing anymore, just touching our lips and clinging to each other, trying not to cry from the pain.
After what seemed like hours, it stopped…my pain dulled away to a headache and I pushed Axel away…but something made me want to bring him back…the way he was staring at me…
"Roxas…" he whispered. My heart skipped a-waittaminute…my heart skipped a beat…what feeling is this! I put a hand where my heart should be; sure enough, a quick pulse beat there, faster than it should have been, I knew.
Our lips were together again, this time his tongue burned my lips and he was pressed flat against me on the ground.
This didn't hurt…this felt wonderful…is this what love felt like so long ago…? I decided I didn't care and opened my mouth to him, shoving my hands into his soft, red hair and pushing his face closer. He was so soft and warm and….
Oh jeez…
He wasn't so "soft" anymore, devils take him…
…Neither was I, for that matter.
Devils take us both, I didn't care, and I wrapped my legs around his. He ground his hips against mine and I bit back a moan…and also his lip, apparently, cause his bit back rather grumpily and glared at me.
"You try that again, you'll be in a world of trouble, kid." He threatened, sitting up, sitting on my hips as it were.
"Fuck you…" I muttered, trying to get up as well, but he had me pinned. I didn't like that smirk he suddenly had…it gave me a very bad feeling…
"Well, if you really want to…" he shrugged. What the hell was he talking about?
After an hour, I KNEW what he was talking about…I liked it.
We were at his house, in his bed, stripped down to nothing and loving it and each other. Not to mention exploring our new hearts…I like Axel when he's mad…he's so easily angered. I am too, I suppose…he told me I looked too much like a girl when we…ahem, well…you can guess…
I hit him in the face when he said that…it was kind of fun…
Love…
It was worth it…I know what love feels like now…and I can feel happiness and anger, and everything else…
And I can love Axel…
And not give a damn about anything else.
"Roxas, do you remember what it's like to love?"
I don't need to anymore, Axel…
Thanks to you…
WHOOO! That sucked. XD And it was so cheesy… Oh well….
Hope you guys enjoyed!