Everyone's gone. No one's left for me. It's all gone down the drain… I make a little "pfft" noise and push my finger down through the air and toward the floor just to make it official that it really has all gone down the drain. I was too stubborn before to notice that everyone was leaving me. They all left me. All alone…
Playground school
bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told
you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you
Someone
to talk to
Hello
I run my thumb across the just-sharpened blade and smile in grim satisfaction. This will do… I suppose. A cry comes from the table but I hardly notice the voice. It means nothing to me anymore. Nothing means anything to me anymore. It's all a lie. No one can help me now… Heh. As if they'd want to.
"You have to stop this! You can't do this to yourself!" I finally realize that someone is calling to me. I pick up the object making the noise and tell it to hush. I tell the voice inside, Stop distracting me. If you talk anymore, you'll make me shake too much. That could get messy, I say. You don't like it? Don't watch. The voice pays no attention and keeps talking. Trying to talk me out of it. Feh… like anyone could? It's all over now. Like he cares anyway… But the voice begs to differ. I'll teach you to talk about begging…
If
I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this
dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the
lie, living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
The voice tries talking to me as if I still have something to live for. Pah. Lies, all of it, just like the rest of them. They all probably wish I were doing what I'm about to. Wait…then I'd be satisfying them. They want me gone so badly? Then I'll stick around, just for them. The voice from a distance keeps calling to me. No, it says, They don't want you gone, they need you to stay with them here. Hah…that makes me laugh. They all want me here? Then I'll keep going. The blue figure inside smacks himself…as if he failed. No one failed but me. The voice now resumes the talking. Shut up, I tell it. I don't want to hear it anymore. The voice ignores me and keeps talking about things I used to have. People…friends…family…all of it means nothing to me. It's worthless and hopeless, I tell the voice. Now the voice is naming things that might make me stop. Will you just shut up? Don't make me make you. The voice says four more words.
"But what about Enzan?"
Suddenly
I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I´m still here
All
that's left of yesterday
I stop, remembering the name of the person the voice is talking about. What would he do if he found out about this? Well, he would certainly do the same. Then we would see each other in heaven…if that were where we went at all. Knowing I've done what I've done, I could drag him down to hell with me...a fate he deserved less than anyone else. A tear rolls down my face as I gently put down the knife, while the figure on the table sighed in relief. Before I go to bed, I say a prayer I made up myself.
"Nido
to aenu
Hito ni basho ni
Mado wo akeru…"
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Wow…I am seriously touched and amazed at this songfic. Firstly, I adore the song. It's one of my newest favorite Evanescence songs. Secondly, I have never written a first-person songfic before. Thirdly, I worked VERY hard on the ending. For those of you who are wondering about the semi-prayer, it's a lyric from Utada Hikaru's "Passion/Sanctuary", the Japanese/English themes for Kingdom Hearts II. KH2 . The English lyric is as follows:
"Towards the people, the places
I will never see again
I open this window."
One more reason I'm impressed with this: Exactly 600 words. Wh00t.
