I can hear him outside, banging on the door, begging to come back in. Every pound on the door breaks my heart just a little bit more.
He keeps calling out her name, begging and pleading for forgiveness. But I can't, it hurts too much. He betrayed our trust – our love – and what hurts even worse is he didn't tell me himself, I had to find out on my own. From Lilah of all people.
Slowly I give in and open the door, I look at him, standing in the rain like some love sick fool who's got nowhere to go. When my eyes finally reach his I realize he's as lost without me as I feel I am without him. We make no logical sense together, we're both so different, yet we match and meet together perfectly.
He makes me not so afraid to do things, to take a chance and he say's I right his wrongs.
My legs feel shaky as I walk out onto the front porch, the rain falling and quickly soaking my hair and clothes. My first reaction is to bring him inside, make us warm so we both don't get sick. But I if I do that he might take it wrong or think that I forgive him for…everything he's done since that night.
I don't, I can't. Not yet. I'm not a person to hold grudges, I've always been easily forgiving but this time I don't know if I can. It hurts more then anything, his break of our trust…our love and… I think it hurts more because I did trust him so much…
Licking my bottom lip I look up at him, the rain falling and mixing with my tears. "We need to talk…"
"I know…Tara, I…"
I shake my head and press my lips together. "Can't hear that. I d-don't want to hear 'I'm sorry'. I…"
"I love you; I was stupid." My eyes meet his and I keep myself from closing them when his hand touches my cheek. "I want to start over."
My heart pounded hard in my chest and I nodded softly, letting myself be pulled into his arms. "Beginning. I…" The words are there, they're so close but I can't seem to find it in my heart to utter them. But they're there; I feel them in my heart and in my mind.
I love you too…but I don't know if I can trust you right now.
"We…we'll go in and talk…" I whisper against his wet shirt, wrapping my arms around him just a bit more. I didn't want to not trust him but after finding out he lied to me for months about who he was just made it harder.
He pulled away and brushed my wet hair away from my face. "Let's get you inside darlin', I don't need you goin' and getting sick on me." He smiled and took my hand, showing me he wanted to try and make things right as he pulled me towards the house.