A/N: This is the chapter where this fan fic begins to resemble a soap opera. But bare with me, it's not all outrageous and it isn't hard to believe. It isn't very long, but is longer than most of my Stop Calling Me Malfoy chapters. It has a lot of action in it though, and it should not be missed. Will Remus and Lily ever work it out? Dun dun dun…
Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter! Although, I would so trade my computer to own Remus.
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Chapter 5: A well Kept Secret Stays Secret
Sirius knew something was wrong when he, James, and Remus met Lily on the stairs. James saw her first, and all embarrassment about the previous night went out of the open window. Lily blushed deeply when she saw the trio and began to turn around to walk away before James began to speak.
"Hey Evans!" he yelled calmly, his cocky manor and unmatched self-confidence back in place. Remus looked up from his shoes nervously, as his face grew the same red as Lily's, as they both remembered waking up together.
"What?" Lily asked with revulsion plainly mixed in her tone. Her eyes turned to Remus, but he looked away, at the stone ceiling. She looked back to James as Sirius thought, what the hell is going on? "Come to accuse me of making out with Black?" She added sarcastically. Sirius let out a nervous laugh, but turned it into a stifled fake yawn when James turned to glance at him.
"Actually, I wanted to apologize for how I jumped to conclusions last night. I should have known that you wouldn't hook up with old Moony here when I'm throwing myself at your feet." Lily stepped forward so she was right in his face, glaring into his deep hazel eyes, her minty breath lingering around his nose. James shivered, stupidly wondering if she was about to kiss him. Remus gulped, nervously looking at his crush, preparing himself for the outburst that was coming.
"Remus is a better man than you'll ever be, Potter," she snarled, as Sirius turned to look at Remus, who's eyes were widened in shock. Lily whipped around, her long hair smacking James in the face, and trudged up the stone steps, the clacking of her sandals vibrating and echoing in the cramped stairway. When she reached the top of the stairs she slowly turned around, her eyes burning with fury. "On second thought, you're not even a man yet, Potter. You're just a silly little school boy, who has no idea what women want." Then she spun back around and stomped off back to her dorm's separate stairway. She threw the door shut behind her.
"Well, that went well," Sirius commented. Remus looked happy and scared at the same time, nervously looking at James, who was frozen in shock. He hadn't moved, and was breathing heavily.
"So nothing happened, Moony?" he questioned sarcastically, turning around to face them. "It seems to me like something happened, doesn't it seem so Padfoot?" Sirius backed down the stairs, mumbling incoherently. "Tell me Moony, what happened, since you can tell me anything." His voice was raising, and with anger manipulating his handsome features. Remus didn't back up, for once, and stood his ground. The third friend once again wondered what had happened. "Go on! Tell me!"
"Fine, Prongs, I'll tell you," Remus spat, standing calmly on his step, arms hanging by his sides. "I'll let you in on a well kept secret, okay?" He looked at James defiantly, directly in the eye, surprised by his own confidence. Not caring who heard, he openly said, "I've been in love with Lily Evans for five years, and you made me believe I had no chance. I was up against you, wasn't I? You, with your swoon worthy good looks, and perfect quidditch skills. I stood on the side lines while you tortured her, while you followed her around, while you broke her up with every single boyfriend she's ever had. Do you know how much self-control it takes for me to stay calm when I see you flirting with her? And now, when we get just a little closer you try to ruin everything! I'm not going to just sit there and wait for you to sweep her off her feet and be left heart broken. She's not yours James!"
Remus looked at James, perfectly calm and collected. James, on the other hand, was the opposite. He was trembling with anger, and was completely lost for words. The teen was clenching and unclenching his fists and staring at his friend in disbelief. "She never was," Remus added simply. Sirius' mouth hung open. Remus, wet blanket, bookworm Remus, had stuck up for himself. James made another strangled yell and for the second time, threw himself at the man in front of him, but this time he was ready. He ducked quickly onto his knees and the teen tripped over him and landed on his head with a sickening crunch on the stone stairs. Remus stood up and turned sharply to stare at his fallen… enemy?
Sirius knelt down at James' side and checked that he was still breathing as Remus stood, staring in awe of what had happened. He wondered if James' was okay, if he would get blamed for his fall, if anyone other than the two boys had heard what he'd said. He didn't know what to do, what to think, and with all plans forgotten, he ran.
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As it turned out, only three people remembered what was said in James and Remus' discussion: Remus, Sirius, and a girl who was standing at the top of the stairs. She had watched as Remus ran from the empty common room alone, scared and pumped with adrenalin. Sirius had left as well, levitating James' crumpled form beside him. She sat, stunned, on the top step, contemplating what she had just heard. Remus loved her. For five years he had loved her. 'He loves me, and he never told anyone!' She couldn't just sit there; she had to go find him!
She crept through the many dusted bookshelves, looking for the bowed head of light brown hair. He wasn't in the empty invisibility section, and he wasn't making out with a ravenclaw 7th year in the herbology section, much to her relief. She almost gave up until she noticed a solitary figure leaning against a bookcase in the far corner of the gigantic library. Remus was facing away from her, and didn't seem to notice the world around him in the slightest. She tiptoed up the isle to stand at the end of his row. He didn't notice her, just stood staring absent-mindedly at the bookcase in front of him, but not taking it in. She took a deep breath and walked up behind him.
"Five years, huh?" she whispered into his ear. He didn't show any sign of noticing her until he spoke.
"It's just a crush," he said, his face stoic.
"Five years is too long for a crush, Remus." He still didn't turn to face her, so she walked around in front of him, far too aware of how close they were. He looked into her emerald eyes and made her shiver. "Tell me what you said isn't true." He didn't say anything. "Tell me you don't love me." He couldn't see the frustration and lust in her eyes. Turning around to face away from her, he said,
"We can't do this."
"Why? Because of Potter?" No one has to know about us. He turned back around.
"Sirius already knows, and who knows how much James will remember, if he's even okay," he said, sliding down the bookcase to the floor. She sat down next to him.
"Amy knows too. But I don't think I can pretend to not know how you feel."
"But I have to."
"Why Remus? Forget about Potter! This has nothing to do with him, he doesn't own me, there's nothing holding us back! It's not like he has anything to blackmail you with, is there?" She was joking, but he didn't laugh. It was true, James could ruin Remus' life if he wanted to, just tell one kid he was a werewolf and his life would end. Lily noticed his change in attitude.
"Should I even ask?"
"No." She dropped the subject. "So much for that picnic," he said sarcastically.
"It's too cold anyway." They sat in silence until Remus couldn't bare the new tension between them. All comfort had gone and now their time together just felt awkward.
"I'd better go see how James is," Remus finally said. The two of them stood up and began to walk away but she called for him to stop. "What?" he asked, uncertainly.
"I just want to give you something." She stood in front of him, leaned over, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. He blushed, smiled weakly, then turned and walked out of the library. She sighed and sunk down onto the floor. "What I have I gotten myself into?" she whispered softly.
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A/N: So, how do you like it? Review! And, of course, give Remus my number (that is if you ever get sucked into the works of J. K. Rowling, and if he isn't already making out with Lily). And Perry, update soon!
Oh, I almost forgot a teaser. No fear! I'll give you a few, since I'm in a nice mood.
Half aware of what he was doing, he pulled her closer, oh so gently, so that her head rested on his neck.
Then later:
"You're amazing, Remus Lupin," she said honestly.
As an extra gift, here's a teaser for the chapter after that:
"What did you sleep in, Moony? Can you repeat that?" "My boxers…" "And what did Evans wear, if I may ask?" "Her underwear…"
One more before I go:
"Just because Remus doesn't shag everything that moves, Potter, doesn't make him a looser. And as for my virginity, I haven't had it for a year!"
I'm sure you all can't wait for the next chapters! Toodles! (Ha ha ha Perry!)