A/N: Here's yet another humor filled chapter. It's one of my favorite chapters, so I hope you like it. I know it's another soap opera like chapter, but deal with it. Anyway, read on, my fans, read on.
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Chapter 7: Rumors
Sirius was pretty mad when Remus and Lily entered the common room together mid Sunday mourning. They seemed pretty happy, and Sirius thanked his lucky stars that James was still sleeping. He couldn't stand anymore fighting. Leaning back in his chair, he watched as Lily kissed Remus on the cheek and walked to her dormitory, leaving an embarrassed but glowing Remus behind. Sirius tapped him on the shoulder, and when Remus saw it was him, guilt made the blonde's stomach drop.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't have PDA where anyone could see you! You're damn lucky that James is still asleep, or he'd kill you!" he whispered urgently. "I can't believe you spent the night with her again! I had to cover for you, James was really worried." Remus looked guiltily down at his feet.
"I'm sorry, I was really tired and she let me stay over," he mumbled.
"What ever, just be more careful if you're going to sneak around, ok?" Remus nodded. "Now you better think of a good excuse as to why you weren't on the map last night, James was very curious." Again, he nodded, as Sirius' tone lightened. "So what happened?" he asked curiously. Remus' mouth fell open.
"What?"
"You're my friend too, and I'm happy for you! So was she good?"
"Sirius!" he said with a laugh. "That's none of your business!" His friend gave him a puppy dog pout. "Anyway, I wouldn't know, nothing happened, we just slept." Sirius looked disappointed, before a smirk spread across his face.
"Two twins or a double bed?" he asked coyly, as his friend blushed. He had hit the mark. "I'll take that as a double bed." He paced in circles around Remus, looking for some other way to incriminate him. "Wait a second, you didn't bring any Pajamas with you?" Remus blushed even deeper and looked away from his smirking friend. "What did you sleep in Monsieur Moony?" Remus mumbled something inaudible under his breath. "Can you repeat that?" he asked smugly, a laugh growing in his throat.
"My boxers," he repeated quietly as Sirius began to cackle loudly, attracting the attention of several studious first years. "Stop it Sirius, it's not funny!" he pleaded as his friend wiped mock tears from his eyes.
"And what did Evans wear, if I may ask?" Remus shot daggers at his friend as his face began to resemble a shiny new quaffle. "Answer the question, Moony!"
"Her underwear," he muttered as Sirius' hoots of laughter attracted the attention of the whole common room, which began to listen in, eager to be in on the joke. Remus saw James' coming down the boy's staircase, looking bemused as he tried his best shut Sirius up.
"What's he laughing at?" James asked Remus, as he got closer. Remus opened his mouth to tell his friend a lie, but Sirius interrupted him and, to his horror, began singing a muggle song.
"Like a virgin! Touched for the very first tieeeeeeme!" the teen bellowed, widely off key as several of the Gryffindor looked curiously at Remus, who was blushing beyond belief. He didn't want Lily to come down and witness this. On second thought, he didn't want anyone to witness this, but before he could do anything, Sirius (who was still singing) pushed past the quaffle/man and lunged out the portrait hole. They could hear him singing until he was on the other side of the castle.
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"So I heard an interesting rumor over breakfast this mourning," whispered Amy as Lily poured over a book about Ancient Runes.
"And what would that be," she said, not looking up or interested in the slightest. Amy pulled the book away from under her nose, as Lily protested, glaring at her smirking friend.
"It concerns you, I'm guessing," Amy said as Lily rolled her eyes.
"Alright, tell me before I implode," she said sarcastically, reaching for her book. Amy snapped it shut and slid it into her bag.
"Fine, I'll tell you." Lily tapped her foot, eyeing her friends bag. "I've heard a rumor that Remus Lupin, AKA lover boy, lost his virginity last night." Lily stood up abruptly, knocking her chair backwards, as the blonde giggled.
"What!" she exclaimed, attracting a glare from the librarian. "With who!" Amy shushed her and she pulled her chair back up and sat down.
"No one knows, but I expected with you" she said quietly. Lily furrowed her brow.
"Nothing happened last nigh, it must just be a rumor." Amy looked at her curiously.
"But he stayed with you last night, right?"
"Well, yeah, but nothing happened!"
"Okay, I believe you," she said, then stared out into space, before turning back to Lily. "Is it true he has the phases of the moon on his boxers?"
"Amy!" She held her hands above her head in innocence. "Yeah, it's true…" she added, as Amy burst out laughing.
"Nut nothing happened?"
"Nothing."
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James hated gossip. Well, actually he hated gossip that wasn't about him. And this gossip was defiantly not concerning him. This nonsense about Remus was aggravating; he didn't like people invading his privacy, since only he could do that.
"So I've heard a rumor concerning you and your love life, Remus, would you care to fill me in?" he asked, sitting down next to him at the lunch table.
"The rumors not true, so don't bother asking," he answered, his patience wearing thin. Several people had had the nerve to congratulate him, and some had even asked who the lucky girl was. Needless to say, he had ran out of the energy it took to deny it any more, and had answered with a muggle trick telling them, "your momma." Word had spread that he wasn't spilling, and the questions stopped, but the congratulations hadn't.
"Oh, touchy touchy! A little disappointed, are you?" Remus growled at him. Sirius sat down across from them and quickly began to inhale food. "I bet your saving yourself for someone aren't you?" Remus sent him a blank look. "Do you know who that might be, Padfoot?" Sirius snorted into his food and opened his mouth to sing, but James interrupted. "Oh look, it's Evans!" Remus sighed, how perfect that she would walk in when they were discussing his virginity, it wasn't as if James would change the subject. She walked over to them on her own and stopped next to him.
"Hey, Remus, mind if I sit here?" she asked, gesturing to the empty spot on his other side. He nodded and she smiled widely. James was once again oblivious, though Sirius was not. "What were you guys talking about?" she asked, and Remus' heart sank as Sirius opened his mouth, smirking all the while.
"We were discussing the ever present issue of Remus here's virginity." Remus went back to being part quaffle and covered his eyes with his hands. Lily was very uncomfortable with the topic, and began rifling around in her bag. James chuckled at Remus' mortification.
"I believe he's saving himself for someone, but he won't tell us who." Sirius snickered and Remus kicked his shin under the table. "I'm sure you have some experience in saving yourself, Lily-pad, seeing as you've been saving yourself for me. Maybe you could help this poor bugger out!" Lily glared at the boy over Remus' head and stood up, swinging her bag over her shoulder.
"Just because Remus doesn't shag anything that moves, Potter, doesn't make him a looser!" she spat. Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear so that only Sirius, James, and Remus could hear her, "And as for my virginity, I haven't had it for a year." Then she turned on her heel and marched out of the great hall, all heads turning to watch her leave. James had gone pale, realizing what a stupid thing he'd said, and Remus, though he felt a little better from Lily's, was still blushing like crazy. Sirius, the only sane one (scary thought) was still snickering.
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A/N: I told you this chapter was good! The next one is awesome too. So review! NOW! (Hey Perry!)
Next time on A Well Kept Secret (AKA The Hogwarts Soap):
"This smells like you," he murmured, and watched as a blushed swept across her featured, as she emerged from under the cauldron.
Then later:
"I know, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Like I have a destiny that I'm not following."
Go review! Toodles!