A/N: This is going to be a long A/N.
Kim: Thanks! Glad you like it!
grinttastic: Of course I can imagine such a look. I get one like that all the time.
baka-neko-1417: Thanks for reviewing!
gerard way is hott: I will keep writing I will!
TheEndlessSnow: I'm so glad you liked that part! It's one of my favorites! Don't worry about the whole never-snogged-someone situation. Your time will come! I hope mine does. I love the clucking pickle bit!
Kat Orona: Yes, I celebrate Christmas, and don't worry, because I will write more!
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz: That wasn't very nice! Silly, of course I'm lovely! In my own way…
Martin: Glad ya like it, although I regret to say that you're a little late to be their dates…
R.K.R.: THANK YOU SO MUCH:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
ladyBlue Wolf: Yes, I do have issues. Although I'm not sure if you like the story or not…
Christipotter: I am so glad that you love it!
MyPreciousss188: Thanks for the long review! I'm surprised that my story is this good too! I want to change my summary, but I can't think of a good way to put it. It is an awesome word! It's my favorite word. I probably will put Snape back.
mizlovegood: They are dreamboats! I love them. Fred and George that is, not Malfoy. He's like a troll compared to George. No offense. Oh, and thanks for reviewing for ch. 14. Do you like to hunt moths too? You said that it sounds like you.
Nutmeggedya: Thanks for all the reviews! I like that part too. When I read it to Jordan, he thought it was weird.
OrchDork18: Yes, it is quite an interesting story.
Wow. That took nearly half an hour. I appreciate all the reviews. This is the most I've ever gotten! 22 reviews! Oh, and as you may know, I got my first flame. I always thought that a flame was just a bunch of annoying criticism, but I was wrong! Red Reviewer really came down hard on me. They said that my story was really stupid, annoying, and painful to read. This person actually left 2 flames! They said that I can't write at all and that they can tell why no one likes it. They're obviously wrong there! Oh well. It hurt a little at first, but now I am thrilled! After all, I've heard that a story isn't good until it has a flame or two! ;)
Chapter 15: Psychochoreoanemodys Combustion Disorder
Hello friends. For this chapter, I have decided to share with you some very important, yet terrible findings of mine. The mystery of Jordan is finally revealed.
You see, Jordan has a very rare disease. This disease is known as Psychochoreoanemodys Combustion Disorder (or "PCD" for short). PCD is a very dangerous, serious, and painful condition. It is the reason why Jordan explodes every hour or so. Most people are very ignorant about this condition, yet nearly seven people suffer from it in every century. No cure has been found for it yet. You see, most scientists focus on finding cures for more common diseases, such as the common cold, the flu, cancer, AIDS, butt cramps, obesity, hiccup syndrome, ugliness, weirdness, craziness, meanness, snobbishness, laziness, and stupidity (the fools are wasting their time, everyone knows that stupidity can't be cured and that most people are just born stupid, none of you are stupid though!). Because of this, no one even realizes how devastating PCD can be.
I will try to explain to the best of my ability how PCD works. You cannot obtain PCD, for you are born with it. Jordan is one of those unfortunate few. When Jordan was born, special glands developed in his stomach. Every time he eats something, the special glands absorb all of the sugar and caffeine from the food. There is a special chemical in the glands known as glucophagogastero acid. This acid somehow magnifies the intensity of the sugar and/or caffeine. After the intensity of the sugar and/or caffeine builds up enough, enormous pressure is put on the body. Once the pressure reaches its maximum height, the body can no longer hold the pressure and explodes. However, once the chemicals are exposed to the hydrogen in the air, a chemical reaction takes place. The chemicals make a kind of black smoke, giving the appearance that Jordan was blown up by a bomb. If you look closely at Jordan just before he explodes, then you will see that he is shaking rapidly from all of the pressure.
It is still unknown how Jordan is reincarnated, but there are theories. One theory is that Jordan is like the Terminator, and all of his parts are drawn together and he is put back together piece by piece. That is the scientific theory. The spiritual theory is that Jordan's soul is sent to a special realm and passes through a portal to the real world. Both theories basically suck. However, they are (sadly) the best explanations that we have.
Because of this condition, people with PCD can't have a normal life. Jordan is very lucky that he has any friends at all, for most people try to stay as far away from him as they can, seeing how they nearly have a heart attack every time he explodes. It is very stressful for most people to have to deal with the constant explosions of someone with PCD. That is why most people that have PCD are isolated from society. Not even leper colonies will accept them. Also, it is impossible for people with PCD to get a real job. After all, most people that have PCD don't have very good social skills.
The explosions caused by PCD are not only emotionally painful for the people who have the disease, but they are also physically painful. Our sources have conformed that the explosions feel like getting blown up by a bomb. Although, I would think that is pretty obvious… Anyway, all of the pain and suffering caused by Psychochoreoanemodys Combustion Disorder MUST be put to a stop! That is why it would mean the world to Jordan if you could just donate a little money. If you would like to donate money, then donate it to JAPA. JAPA is the only organization in the world that tries to find the cure for PCD. JAPA was founded by Harry Potter. Mr. Potter is a man with a dream. He once told the press, "Look… I just founded this organization so that I can get some sleep at night. Jordan is one of my roommates, and his explosions are constantly waking me up in the middle of the night." Mr. Potter is truly a great man. Oh, and if your wondering, JAPA stands for "Just A Penny Away!" Remember: Finding the cure for PCD could be just a penny away! (Although it would be awesome if some of you could donate like, a trillion dollars or so!)
Interview with Jordan
Me: So, Jordan, How does it feel to be an isolated freak with a disease of constant pain and suffering?
The Isolated Freak Known as Jordan: You get used to it.
Me: Uh-huh. So, you are an optimistic isolated freak?
The Isolated Freak Known as Jordan: Stop calling me that! Don't I suffer enough?
Me: But it's so funny when you're in pain!
Jordan: That's better. Anyway, the disease really downs my social status. For some reason, people are always referring to me as a freak! I've never had a real relationship with someone.
Me: What about Luna?
Jordan: Well, she was annoying me, and so I thought that if I were to go out with her, I might be able to somehow transfer my PCD to her…But then I read your paper about PCD, and all of my hopes were dashed.
Me: Where do you go after you explode?
Jordan: That information is classified.
Me: Uh-huh. Wow, this interview is useless. Thanks for nothing, Jordan!
Jordan: No, thank you!
Me: For what, you idiot?
Jordan: (starts shaking rapidly) Uh-Oh! You might want to duck and cover! BOOM! (He blew up!)
Me: I'm hungry.
A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I had writers' block I hope you liked this chapter. My friends thought that it was hilarious. I almost have 1700 hits!