SN: You do realize you have just confused everyone by saying Starco would be a thing and put MArco and Jackie together right?

WH: I have a plan here man, just trust me.

SN: Why?

WH: I get my readers having doubts but you, you are in my head. Have some faith in me already and do your narrating job.

SN: I was treated with so much more respect on Spongebob.

WH: Then why did you leave it in "Can you Spare a Dime?" because you got bored?

SN: ...

WH: ...

SN: Let us never have this conversation again.

WH: You always say that when I bring that up. Anyways, back to the show folks. (and I do have a plan for the shipping thing)

Star conjured up a pair of earmuffs that she placed atop her head to block out Brittany's horrible singing as she watched everyone devolve into piles of whining children. She looked up seeing that Brittany was oblivious to all of this including that fact that Chantal and Sabrina had put in ear plugs themselves. The trio locked eyes with each other and nodded a silent agreement to let this slide, united by the horrible sound of this anti-siren. Everyone endured this as best they could for the agonizing 4 minutes they had too until Brittany finished… or would if the speakers didn't blow out catapulting Brittany across the room into her pile of birthday presents. As everyone turned to look at Brittany in shock Star glanced over to the left of the speakers and subtly winked to Janna who was hiding in the shadows who winked back knowingly.

Star hid her earmuffs and walked over to Brittany and offered a hand to her saying, "Oh dear that was a bit too much excitement in the wrong way. Are you ok?" Brittany growled and only just caught herself from smacking Star and instead accepted her hand in friendship allowing herself to be helped up.

"Thank you Star Butterfly." Brittany tried to sound on top of the situation but only sounded slightly whiny to Star's ears. "Jarvis, find out why that happened!" Brittany snapped at the men to the sidelines and three guys came out to inspect the blown speakers. Giving a grunt of annoyance and continued speaking, "Well, now that this is done, who wants to join me in opening presents?" Everyone hid groans and joined Brittany at the present table where she was thrown.

Star glanced to the sides of the crowd to see Janna was out of sight now and went to sit down with Chantal and Sabrina as Brittany started going through the gifts to pick which one she would open first. After a light search, that Star thought was just her putting up the appearance of being picky, Brittany picked out Star's gift. As she opened it Star calmed herself internally as best she could trying to reassure herself that she didn't need Brittany to like it, just be impressed by it. Brittany finished opening it to reveal a fantastically beautiful dress making everyone gasp in awe at it. It was a light dress made of a thin material that seemed to ripple and flow under the light like it was made of water. It was designed to go down to the wearers ankles with a slit up the side to the knees for freedom of movement with two surprisingly frilly shoulder straps for support with no sleeves. It shimmered a brilliant golden glow with red and blue highlights throughout it making it look like some sort of living liquid flame. As everyone, including Brittany, stared at it in awe it made Star feel a little better so she preemptively answered a question she knew Brittany would have.

"This was not made by anyone on earth but me with magic finer than any sowing machine could. The dress is made out of silk with gold fibers weaved into it for that extra flare. Not threads the color of gold, but actual golden threads." Everyone stared at Star open mouthed as Brittany nearly dropped it in shock at what Star just spieled. Brittany turned towards Star with one question,

"Why!?" Star chuckled and answered her.

"Because I wanted to impress you of course; you did deem it necessary to invite me to your birthday right?" Everyone stared at Star in shock with Star feeling better about herself until she saw Janna in the shadows motioning violently at the windows. 'This is either very good or very bad.' Star thought to herself as sweat broke out on her forehead.

"Captain, no incoming transmissions from our spy; suggested course of action is to move in close and get a visual." Oskar sighed heavily as Ferguson went on a rant.

"Man, she could just be hiding from Brittany by not talking, give Janna a break." Oskar strummed his keytar as Floyd gave out a slight screech from below.

Currently Oskar, Ferguson, and Alfonzo were atop Floyd flying at a distance following the party bus ready to swoop down should things get out of hand. Though Floyd was gigantic he was also surprisingly stealthy as his wings seemed to be like that of an owl's in that they made little noise when he flapped just to stay in the air. Ferguson was keeping an eye on the bus while Oskar drove, or would be if he didn't stop every five minutes to act like he was in a movie. Oskar did admit it was pretty surreal to be helping a lizard princess while riding on the back of a bird of prey/paradise the size of a bus, but this was real life and you could not screw around when someone as sensitive as Star was involved.

Alfonzo turned to the two and spoke up, "Hey guys, you might want to see this." The group peaked over Floyd's shoulder and saw Marco and Janna come out onto the roof of the bus and seemed to be laughing about something. "I think Marco's finally putting the move on…" Marco leaned over and kissed Jackie's cheek or something in the general area as they were too far away to tell what he was kissing exactly. "… or he did put the move on her and succeeded at long last." The trio gave a silent cheer for him with Oskar speaking.

"I was wondering when he would make his move; honestly I think Jackie knew about this the whole time." Alfonzo and Ferguson nodded silent agreement to his statement. Marco had not been the most subtle at points for the last year or so. As they were agreeing Floyd screeched at something down below and the group looked over the sides to see shadowy figures in medieval armor and stereotypical barbarian get up seemingly setting up an ambush at a nearby bridge.

"Ummmm…" Alfonzo turned to the other two who looked at each other in concern. Ferguson, after spending a second taking this all in, immediately pulled out a radio and called in.

"Sneak, this is the three caballeros calling in; we got a major problem."

Everyone on the bus looked up as a scuffle broke out with Janna slipping out of the grasps of Brittany's three, 'Butler's I guess, I don't know what to call them honestly.' Star thought in confusion. As Janna did so she called out to Star,

"Plan is up Star, we got company." Everyone immediately looked at Star who began rubbing her tail and sweating under their stares. Brittany looked at Star as if her suspicions were confirmed before speaking,

"Plan, what pl…" But before she finished windows began shattering around everyone as Forest Barbarians tumbled into the bus. Everyone gave out screams of shock as the Barbarians brandished their weapons turning their eyes to Star. As they did so they seemed to be waiting for someone but when a muffled thump on the side of the van happened they all looked up in concern with Dumnorix stepping forward to reach out of one of the windows and pull Mavis in, a bit worse for wear. As Mavis was composing herself another barbarian came through the same window and managed to dodge Mavis but landed face first in the birthday cake that was about the same size of a Gorilla. As everyone looked at Mavis she shrugged and said,

"It's a lot harder to leap onto a moving object then you might think people, cut us some slack." She then turned to Star smiling haughtily. "Now then Star Butterfly, you should know better than to let your guard down to party while we are at large. Have you forgotten us already?" Star looked at the group and blinked in slight confusion.

"Forget? I don't even recognize some of you." The Barbarians gave Star a hurt look as they glanced at each other with Mavis speaking.

"What? You're saying you don't recognize Michael." She pointed to a Barbarian with a brown beard that stretched down to his feet who looked saddened. "He spotted you at Quest Buy. Or how about the Danter triplets who keep on overwhelming the guardian Marco." She pointed to three very short barbarians standing on each other's shoulders each holding a weapon looking confused. "Or how about Hildegra, you don't remember her?" She points to a very stout woman with thick blond hair and somewhat bad teeth wearing a Viking hat with horns who spoke with an opera singer's voice.

"Well to be fair, I wasn't formally introduced. Hildegra at service to the true queen of Mewni and beloved of my precious Hiccup." She grabbed onto a tall and scrawny barbarian that Star recognized from somewhere but wasn't sure where as people chuckled at that.

Brittany spoke up, "Wait, Star isn't a real princess?" The kids turned to Star as Mavis smiled again.

"Of course she is not; her mother forfeited the throne at a young age to run off with a Monster instead of a proper husband. Of course she still believed it belonged to her so she started a rebellion to claim the throne and kill anyone in her way damaging the kingdom mightily. I am here to claim the wand of the Butterfly's and cast down this false queen and her disgusting lizard husband with this half-blooded freak of a child and to put Mewni on the proper path." Mavis snapped her fingers and Barbarians immediately grabbed a random party goer and held weapons to their throats. "Now hand over the wand or this method of transportation will get a much needed paint coat of red." Everyone stood stock still with baited breath for several seconds waiting for Star to act when all of a sudden a crash came from the front of the bus. Everyone turned to see Janna standing there smiling slightly with a pile of crystal shards that appeared to have been a part of something that must have been expensive.

"What, if you guys are gonna smash windows why can't I smash stuff?" Everyone blinked in confusion as Star's battle instincts kicked in with her eyes going cat-pupil yellow.

"Rubber Sparkle Bounce House!" Star waved here wand and hit the Bus causing the whole thing to become bouncy on the inside. As people began bouncing around the barbarians lost their grip on the kids and tried getting their footing with limited success. Strangely enough all the kids seemed ready for this and began bouncing around with some even having fun with it. One kid slipped out of one barbarians arms jumping up and landed right on his back forcing the barbarian to flop around out of control. Another slipped down beneath the barbarians legs making him fall face first to the ground and bounced on his face along a straight line with muttered curses. A third kid made the barbarian bounce with him up and down until they were separate and the kid got a good kick on his crotch making the barbarian whine in pain as he bounced around. The other escaped in similar methods with Star pin-balling through the confusion and up the stairs to the roof with Janna bouncing around just having fun now.

"Grrrrrrrrr, GET THE MUD-BLOOD BITCH!" Mavis screamed out with the barbarians leaping after Star as best the y could with Brittany giving a cocky smile. Sabrina of course gave Brittany a confused look and asked,

"Why are you so happy about this? Your party is ruined." Brittany turned to Sabrina still smiling.

"Of course it is, but it's all Star's fault. She planned something out to mess with me but now she as fault, we can blame her, and she will lose her status quickly since she is not a real princess. We don't need her to join the Heather's now; we just need to destroy her social life if she survives tonight. These interlopers shot her in the foot for us, we won!" Brittany pumped her fist before realizing what she said. "I do hope no one dies though, that is always bad." Sabrina nodded as they both noticed Chantal pulling along a short but very fit barbarian with a gloriously long and flowing platinum blond beard and hair combo who was tied up tightly.

"Well well well. Looks like mama's having pork chops for supper." Chantal pulled the surprisingly eager barbarian into a side room and put out a sign that said Do Not Disturb. Sabrina and Brittany looked at each other in concern and backed away from the side room with Sabrina commenting,

"At least she's not going after Marco anymore."

"Does this happen to you often?" Jackie spoke uneasily as she and Marco were surrounded by some forest Barbarians led by Selene.

"Unfortunately yes, what do you want now?" Marco spoke to Jackie and then addressed their opponents with the group chuckling at him.

Selene answered quickly, "What we have always wanted of course; to take Star's wand and to get rid of you and her. Seriously you didn't figure that out by now?" The barbarians laughed even harder as Marco growled in frustration before he asked a question.

"But why now, this isn't the most opportune time to attack as you lost around 5 guys just trying to get on the bus." The group did stop laughing as they realized what Marco had said was true but Selene was quick to retort.

"Star's in a vulnerable position here cut off from the rest of the world and we have plenty of hostages to sway her "kindly nature" into surrendering. Like the one right next to you." Selene pointed at Jackie which made Marco go full battle mode and put himself between her and them.

"Don't you dare touch my girlfriend you bitch!" Selene and the barbarians blinked in shock at Marco's sudden ferocity and gave him looks of respect as they began commenting on it.

"Marco's got a girl; I'm surprised he didn't have one before."

"How do you know he didn't have her before tonight?"

"The protective instinct is strong with him." Marco blinked at the comments and salutes of respect as Selene finally commented on it.

"You know… I can see why she went for you. You're not ugly and your sense of devotion is admirable, most women would acknowledge that." Some of the barbarians looked at Selene in shock for some reason as she waved them off. "I didn't say I found him attractive, I just said I could see why others would find him attractive." As Marco looked on in confusion Star leapt out from the stairwell to the roof behind Marco and yelled out loudly.

"MARCO, we have barbarians att…" She then noticed the ones on the roof and stopped, "oh wait you probably know that now. BATTLE FORMATION!" Star and Marco got into fighting stances together as the group on the roof faced them off with Mavis scrambling out from the stair well with more barbarians behind her.

"Dammit, she got out here too quick and the guardian is with her. No matter, CUT THEM DOWN!" Mavis drew her sword and charged forward with the barbarians closing in on both sides.

Marco leapt forward sliding under the legs of one and forcing him to fall flat on his face before spinning his leg around tripping down one but a second just leaping over the leg chuckling. Unfortunately for him he was hit with a blast of orange light magic that made him spin like a top and, while he didn't knock anyone else down, he did scatter the group giving Marco and Star breathing room. Star then held out her wand yelling, "Crystal cupcake shower!" shooting a line of crystals shaped like cupcakes that mowed down three of the barbarians. As they laid in a bruised mess Marco stepped over them and engaged two at once with a flurry of blows that left them both unconscious before blocking the blow of another one. As Marco engaged him Star Shoot a wave of magical snakes at a knot of them with two going down tied up but Selene cut down the snakes in her way saving two others as well. The trio went after Star but one of them was knocked down by a barbarian Marco threw at them and then leapt in striking at Selene quickly. After a triple combo that would have snapped a sapling apart Marco fell back holding his hands in pain as Selene smirked at him and pulled aside clothes to reveal brand new chain mail armor.

"We couldn't get them for the whole lot thanks to the mess you made at Quest Buy but we got some to keep our best safe from simple punches." Selene smirked and tried cutting Marco who leapt back in fear that the fight may have just turned against him.

As Marco fought for his life Star smacked down the third one with her wand and noticed Dumnorix, Mavis, and the remaining barbarians had formed a shield wall and were advancing on Star. "Eviscerating sparkle blast" Star yelled shooting magic at them but the shield wall blocked it like a tank would deflect buck-shot. "Ummm, Dragons Breath" Star shot another spell with a wave of magical fire rolling over the group also doing nothing noticeable. "Shattered Heart Storm" Star shot another spell in a panic with metallic heart shaped items flying at the group but doing nothing more than getting stuck in the shields. Scared now, Star held up her wand ready to fire again when she heard a screech from above making her and everyone look up to see Floyd cruising over head with Ferguson yelling from its back.

"You mess with one of us you mess with the whole flock. BOMBS AWAY!" Ferguson began flinging off the birds back what looked like water balloons but Star knew definitely did not have water in them.

The barbarians looked up in confusion as the balloons fell on them getting a face full of stink bombs of the Gods alone knew what horrible concoction Janna and Ferguson had put in them. They had prepared them should the party go so badly that they needed a way to quickly escape from the bus onto Floyd's back. Star smiled as the barbarians broke up coughing and wheezing heavily with one of them outright vomiting over the side of the bus with Jackie commenting "Party animal." Star waved as the trio on the bird flew by only realizing what she had done by letting her guard down when a blade swung at her. Star, reacting out of instinct, made a glowing pink sword emerge from her wand to bloke Mavis's blade with a loud *CHINK* of blade against blade. Star had not been fully trained with swords, she preferred poll axes, but she took a defensive stance as Mavis did an overhead feint and then swung in from the left hard. Star deflected the blow and did an up hand swing that might have cut Mavis in half were it not for Mavis's new chain mail armor.

"*Cocky laughter*Pathetic. A true Butterfly can make a blade like that cut through magically enhanced steel like it was paper." Mavis struck again with Star not sure what to do but doing enough to stay alive.

Dumnorix looked up as the bird swooped around ready to make another pass and whistled for Selene who was at a stalemate with Marco. Selene did a triple back flip out of the fight with Marco leaving him blinking in confusion as she landed next to Dumnorix. With eyes burning from the stink he motioned to the bird with Selene nodding knowing exactly what he was going to do. He picked Selene up who straightened herself out like a spear and, after taking aim, threw her at the bird with Marco staring at them open mouthed in shock. Selene flew through the air with Floyd not even having enough time to realize there was a girl flying at him before she struck. She landed on his back and punched Alfonzo in the face hoping to knock him off but her landing caused Floyd to careen slightly from the newly added weight. Instead, Alfonzo landed on the remaining stink bombs making them all go off at once on Floyd's back affecting everyone with a cloud of noxious fumes. Dumnorix's confident smile fell as he realized that now Floyd was now careening towards the bus's rear with not much in the way to block it and started shouting desperately.

"Everyone up at em, we got an incoming bogy. Mavis, get down!" Dumnorix leapt to the ground to avoid the worst of the impact with Marco following suit. Mavis and Star both looked up at the shouting and saw Floyd about to crash into the rear with only enough time to react saying,

"Oh shit." As they said that Floyd rammed the rear of the bus making it spin out of control and throwing everyone forward. As that happened Ferguson was thrown over Floyd's head and rammed straight into Star and Mavis sending the tangle of people down the bus stairs. They fell down running over the steps relentlessly until the hit the ground and bounced to the front of the bus smacking the driver's seat so hard it collapsed under their weight and knocked the driver unconscious.

As the trio tried to get their bearings Ferguson sat up as best he could realizing he was holding the now detached steering wheel of the bus. As he stared at it in horror he also saw the gas had been floored by the now unconscious bus driver and they were picking up speed. Afraid of what he was going to find, he slowly looked out the front window and saw they had swerved away from the freeway they were on and were now running into a construction zone with workers running away from them. Up ahead was a sharp drop off with a bulldozer pushed up near the edge of it for some reason, the blade of it pointed in their direction like the end of the world.

Ferguson tried speaking fast, "*frightened squawk* Captain, captain," He at random pulled up the first thing he could get his hands on, Star's tail, and spoke into it like it was radio transmitter. " ICEBERG AHEAD!"

Everyone on the bus began screaming at what was about to happen and grabbed onto something random even if it was someone else; like Marco and Dumnorix grabbing onto each other in fear. As the bus moved to their doom Star acted fast shoving the driver's leg off the gas and put her own on the brakes hoping to slow down as much as possible. As luck would have it, the bus skipped over something and didn't directly hit the bulldozer but skidded slightly pushing the bulldozer's blade end up. The bulldozer was pushed back a ways nearly dropping off the end but stopping just short of doing so. As everything stopped people let out held breaths and gave sighs of relief until the heard the unmistakable sound of concrete cracking right below them. It turned out the drop off was not able to support the weight of both the bus and the bulldozer as the pillions were not completed yet making the end crack off enough for both to plummet down off the edge. As the 30 foot drop was revealed to them in glory someone calmly said, "oh no" and then everyone began screaming.

Star flashed her wand at the bus pulling off another bounce house spell this time on the bottom and front of the bus making it bounce off the bulldozer when it hit the ground. The bus continued to move forward down a slight slop and into an ad-hoc skateboard park making the skaters scatter in multiple directions. The bus bounced through the skate park hitting a half-pike and instead of crashing into it skidded and bounced over it flying through the air in front of the moon like in ET. As it approached earth again Marco screamed in panic as they flew towards some sort of cinderblock building with a hotdog stand in front of it. The guy tending to it immediately screamed and ducked to the side yelling "MY HOTDOGS!" as the bus crashed through it and into the building causing the whole thing to collapse on them.

As the dust cleared from the action barbarians and kids began emerging from the bus and building ruins still alive but battered, bruised, and in a daze. The barbarians and kids alike filed out and collapsed in piles across the area in front of the ruins catching their breaths and wonderign how they were able to survive a bus crash. As everyone caught their breaths Selene leaped out of the ruins screaming, "Wa whooo. Yeah, who's up for round two?" Everyone looked at her with dazed deadpan expressions making Selene calm down slightly. "Ok then; I'm guessing we lost this day." She took out their dimensional scissors and cut a portal back home with the barbarians shambling their way out.

Mavis turned back for a second and said in an exhausted manner "We'll get you yet Star-oh who cares right now." Then stepped through closing the portal behind her.

Star got up from the wreckage shaking herself off as best as possible and started forward to find Marco so they could get home but heard a shriek from behind her.

"Star Butterfly, look what you've done now!"

'Just ignore Brittany, just ignore Brittany.' Star thought on the edge of breaking down looking desperately for Marco.