CHAPTER 3

Three Years Later (Mid-Residency Program)

"Derek, come on she's cute! A little small but hey, who cares?"

"Addi you have GOT to stop trying to set me up with women! Maybe I'm just focusing on my career and not in need of a girlfriend. What about that?" Or maybe the one girl I want is standing across for me and going out with my best friend. He responded with his infamous smirk.

"Is it the people, or the sex?" She asked smirking, knowing the question would push his buttons.

"I am not even going to respond to that. We are no longer friends." He began to walk past her and whacked her gently with the chart he was holding. Before he got too far, he felt a tug on his arm. She had pulled him back in to make eye contact. They did that often, and knew each other so well that all it took for an entire conversation was eye contact. They remained in that stance for about ten seconds, completely entranced by the other. Derek felt his arm released, breaking the stare. She had moved her hand to his lab coat, delicately pulling him into her to kiss him on the cheek. Her touch sent shivers up his side, shivers he tried to hide as best as possible. She began to move past him with a smile on her face, and shouted something over her right shoulder.

"Lunch, 1:30. You're buying! Mark's in surgery all day so you're stuck with just me."

"I know." And with that, they went their separate ways. Derek pondered what Addison said, about being stuck with her for lunch. She said it so non-chalantly, knowing that the joke aspect was understood. Little did she know how much he cherished their time alone. He didn't need to worry about his best friend seeing how deeply he felt for his girlfriend. At the same time, she was different around him alone, freer, more open. He loved her with all his heart, and just wanted to shout it from the rooftops and get it off his chest. What stopped him, the thing that kept him from grabbing Addi fiercely and kiss her, was that Mark and she were his two best friends, and for now, nothing was worth taking that away.

"For now." He muttered gently to himself, smacking his chart against his leg for the stupidity of consideration.

Two Weeks Later (Derek's Place)

It was 2 a.m., and Derek had just finished a shift. A long shift. It was a busy night in Seattle, and victims were working on a conveyer belt: just when it was quiet, another one rolled in. All he wanted to do was sleep, and shower. He was halfway there: as he was two seconds from deep sleep, there was a knock at the door. Light, but uncomfortable. As much as he wanted to ignore it, he couldn't. It would just be more dreams about Addison, more dreams that would never come true. What was the point anyway? Sliding out of bed, he got to the door and was taken aback by who he saw.

"Addi? Addi? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Her arms were crossed protectively in front of her as her head slowly began to rise. Her tear-stained cheeks shined off of the hallway lights. She tried to speak, but couldn't manage words. "Here come in, sit down. Let's go." She gave in and walked to the familiar apartment of Derek. He closed the door, and before he could fully turn around, she was in his arms. Derek didn't miss a beat, and took her in warmly.

"Derek, I lost her. I lost her, the baby I was telling you about. She was fine, and then her pressure dropped, and I tried everything, and she just died. Webber her told me to look out for her, that she was my responsibility. And I let her die. I, I…" Addison began to lose her speech as her breathing became violent. Derek could feel her shake in his arms. He didn't do what to do but hold her and reassure her everything would be okay.

"Shhh, Addison, its okay. It wasn't your fault. I was consulted on your patient for a possible procedure with Bates. He said she was too weak to survive surgery, and that her prognosis was poor. I'm sure you did everything you could."

"No Derek, that's the problem. She was helpless, had no one to fight for her but me. And I let her down."

"No you didn't. Here, come sit down, I'm going to get some water for you, okay?"

"Sure. Thanks." He placed her down gently, and with tear filled eyes, she looked up at him. He touched her face lovingly, and she brought her hand to meet his. They held their usual glance, but this time it wasn't about passing messages. It was about being there. Derek snapped out first, and pulled his hand down to go to the kitchen.

"Where's Mark? Does he know what happened?"

"I only saw him for a minute. He had a big surgery and needed to go. He told me to come here. God I mean he could be so absent, especially when I need him most." Hearing her say this, hearing that she felt anything less than perfect made him want to break the glass he was holding. He refrained, and twisted the situation to paint Mark in a better light.

"Here. You know how they are about missing surgeries. He knew I'd be there for you, that you were in good hands." Before he could finish his thought, he grimaced, for the words he wanted were what made him feel like dirt for loving her so much. "He loves you."

"I know. It's just…I'm so tired. I feel like I have been awake for days. Do you mind if I crash with you?"

"Are you kidding? You're always welcome. Let me get some extra blankets for the pull out couch and you can take my bed."

"No, Derek, I meant with you. I really can't be alone tonight. Come on, it's just like when we were interns. Please?" Her green eyes bore into his soul: how could he say no to her when all he dreamed about was doing this very thing.

"Of course. Come on." Walking towards her, he tickled her sides. He knew she loved it, and it always brought a smile to her, and his, face.

"Hey watch it! Derek, stop!"

"Okay. Hey, was that a smile? See I told you you'd be ok. Come on." He motioned towards his bed, getting under the covers first as Addi removed her jacket and shoes. He patted the bed suggestively, once again getting a smile out of her.

"Cute. Really cute!" She said, as she snuggled under the covers. She was beat. Before she passed out, she took his arm and gently laid it over her waist, pulling him closer to her. She could feel his warmth, and was asleep quickly. Derek could barely process the situation. He literally had his fantasy come true: her hair was in his face and her scent was their, in his very bed. For once, he put aside his conscious, pulled Addi close, and went to sleep.

Next Morning

Derek and Addison slept silently through the night. Neither of them moved, even breathed to loudly. Addison woke first, at about 9. Her mental clock was never wrong. She felt an arm over, but recognized the watch as someone else's. She slowly lifted it off her, and scooted away, turning gently to see Derek's head laying limply against the pillow. She giggled slightly at his out of control hair, and brought her knees to her chest. She just watched him, the peacefulness of it all. She felt so safe, so at home with him. He's your best friend; you should feel safe with him. Is that all? She thought to herself quizzically, why it was she always went to him with problems and not her boyfriend. You love Mark, he loves you. It's that simple. Isn't it? Figuring it was too early and that the events of the night before were affecting her judgment, she crawled out of bed to make some breakfast. She wasn't but five feet from the door, when she turned back, brought a knee to the bed, and delicately kissed a sleeping Derek's cheek.

About thirty minutes later, Derek awoke startled by the extra clothes in his room. Quickly, his brain pieced together the truth. Addi had slept with him! Well just in his bed but who's arguing semantics? He peered out his bedroom door and watched her cook. God did she ever not look stunning? His glance lingered, and Addi felt it, looking up, and then to her left and through the bedroom door. He was caught.

"Morning sleepyhead." She shouted through the kitchen. "Get out her and help me set the table you bum!" With her shout, he hoped out of bed and went to meet her. Grabbing the plates from above her head, he placed his hand on her waist, causing her to jump backwards. He noticed, but just grinned to himself.

"God man, cold hands much?" She said, slapping him. She did that a lot, but who was he to argue?

"Sorry, sorry. So what are we having?"

"Your favorite."

"Oh, I love you. I haven't had eggs as good as yours since we spent practically every night together studying for finals! I have missed them.

"Well they missed you. Now sit down before it gets cold."

"Yes ma'am." Pulling out her chair first, she flashed him a smile. He went on to sit next to her. They ate in silence, once again communicating silently: pass the juice, can I have the paper, etc? It was if they had been married for years. Derek tasted his food and moaned lightly. Addison looked up to his lit up face, and just smiled to herself.

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