A/N: This chapter was so hard to write, so I put it off. Well, here it is, the beginning of the end. How sad. But I hope you all don't kill me for it. It's short, but I hope you like it. And I hope you don't want to seriously don't want to kill James at the end of it.

Disclaimer: Remus: Well, it's New Years.

Lily: Yeah.

Awkward silence

So anyway, I don't own Harry Potter.

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Chapter 17: Start Over

"Remy?"

"Yeah Lils?" He looked up from his encyclopedia of complicated charms to find a depressed Lily standing on the other side of his library table. She eased herself into a chair across from him.

"You do realize it's New Year's Eve, right?" He blinked.

"Is it really?" She sighed and read a line from his book upside down.

"Yeah, you've spent the past five days down here reading up on," she paused before reading aloud, "Selective memory charms apparently." He closed the book and slid it into his book bag while she looked at him as if he were a particularly hard puzzle. "Planning on killing someone, Remy?"

"Sorry Lils, I just had an idea." He didn't elaborate and she didn't ask him to, seeing the look of sadness sweep his face. "So what do you want to do to celebrate?"

"Let's take a picture to put in your frame. How about on the astronomy tower tonight? I can bring my camera." He nodded and pushed back his hair, clearly distracted by something. "Is something bothering you?" She knew him too well.

"I was just thinking about those dreams you were having. Have you had any more?" She looked down at the table guiltily, remembering Harry and his message to enjoy what time was left.

"It doesn't matter, they're just dreams right?" They both knew she was wrong.

"Right. I better go hang out with the boys so I can sneak away tonight. I'll see you at dinner?" She stifled a small giggle, as she glanced at her watch.

"You missed dinner, Remy. It's eight thirty."

"Bloody hell, we're missing the New Year's party!" He stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder, extending a hand, he said, "Well you accompany me to the festivities, Mademoiselle?" She laced her fingers into his and let him pull her up from the straight-backed library chair.

"It would be my pleasure, Monsieur. Shall we rendezvous at quarter of the bewitching hour?"

"That sounds perfect."

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"What are you and lover boy's plans for tonight, Lils?" Amy asked while slipping wizard punch from a plastic cup. The girl perched next to her on the coffee table brightened slightly.

"I have three words for you: Astronomy, tower, pictures."

"Pictures? Should I even ask?" Amy answered watching as Sirius danced by imitating muggle disco. He winked at her as she scoffed.

"Nothing racy, we're just going to take a picture at midnight to put in that frame I got him." She nodded and took another sip. "What about you and Anthony? Doing anything special?"

"Didn't I tell you? I dumped him this morning after breakfast. The dumb bugger thought quidditch wasn't as good as quadpot." Lily laughed as her friend flexed her toes, which were strapped into a pair of black stilettos.

"You dumped him for that?" Amy shrugged.

"Wouldn't you?" asked a cool voice behind them. Lily yelped and turned around to see the less likeable marauders. Sirius settled in on Amy's other side and James on Lily's.

"Merlin, Black don't do that!" Lily growled. He took Amy's drink and stole a sip. She thumped him with the pillow she had been sitting on.

"You're the expert on doing things you shouldn't, Evans. Where's Remus, by the way?" Lily blushed several different colors of pink, but James didn't notice. Instead he rumpled his hair.

"He's DJing over there, the raven haired boy supplied, pointing to the table they had set up earlier with the hand not emerged in his messy locks. Remus was indeed DJing, much to Lily's amusement, and was scratching at a muggle record. James lowered his hand and left it on her leg. She smacked it away.

"Care to dance, Prescott?" Sirius asked Amy, getting up and extending a hand. Amy glanced at Lily, reluctant to leave her friend at the mercy of the ever-plotting Potter. But Lily waved her off, and Amy allowed Sirius to pull her off the table.

"Just as long as you don't kill me," she answered, before he pulled her onto the dance floor. Lily watched as the two of them spun wildly through the common room, scattering first and second years. They both were laughing manically as Remus expertly switched the track to a slow song. Amy rested her head on his shoulder and he placed his hand on her lower back. It crept a little lower onto her skirt and she slapped it away, but continued to dance as if nothing happened, smiling onto his neck.

"They're perfect for each other," Lily commented, as James finally stopped arranging his hair.

"Opposites work better, they're too alike," he added, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She shrugged it off and wondered how she would ever end up with such a plank.

"I reserve the right to disagree," she bit back, watching her boyfriend at the DJ table. James didn't argue.

"Want to dance?"

"That would be a negative Potter." She leaned back and propped herself up on her elbows.

"Please?"

"Remember the last time you asked me to dance, Potter?" She grinned as he raised a hand to cover his fading black eye.

"Point taken. Who was that guy, anyway?" Her grin faded into a grimace.

"Some one you don't know," she said, looking at Remus. "Some one you don't know at all." She stood up and walked over to his station, leaving James alone on the coffee table. Remus noticed her immediately and looked up from the box of records he had been shuffling through. "It's quarter of, I'll meet you there," she whispered, and he nodded. She turned and went to her dorm to fetch her camera. He waved his slow dancing friend over and Sirius managed to make his way over to the table without disturbing his partner.

"Cover for me," Remus asked and Sirius nodded, breaking away from Amy to take his friend's place.

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"Hey Remy," Lily called as Remus emerged from the stairway.

"Hey Lils." He walked over and sat next to her on the stone banister, ignoring the sense of panic that came with the height off the ground. "Are you cold?" She shook her head.

"Surprisingly no," she answered, pulling at her spaghetti strap. At his bemused expression she added, "Warmth charm."

"Ah." He tapped his foot against the stone as she curled a lock of hair around her finger. There was a new tension. "So do you have any resolutions?" She shrugged, moving her hand to instead finger the locket.

"I guess I want to voice my opinion more often." He laughed and she looked up at him, a hurt expression sweeping across her face. "What?"

"I don't think you have a problem with that, Lils." She glared at him. "I want to do what's right more-m" but cut him off.

"Seeing as I want to voice my opinion more often, can I be honest?" He blinked at her harsh tone. A blush was rising in her cheeks and she looked quite flustered.

"Of course Lils."

"Why does this seem so forced all of a sudden?" She looked down at her feet. "You can't pretend to not notice it." So this is how it ends? I dump him because of tension? She thought bitterly, cursing herself for acting silly. "I love you Remy, but I don't want this relationship to stay a well-kept secret!"

"But it has to!" She stood up abruptly and whirled around, facing him head on. He stared at her in fear, trembling slightly, terrified that he would loose her, and surprised at her random outburst.

"No it doesn't! Screw Potter! Be a man and don't let him intimidate you! So what if people know you're a werewolf? They'll find out anyway eventually!" He stood up too and grew a similar color red in the face as her hair. What's gotten into her?

"I can't do that yet, Lily! I'm not yet ready to ruin my own life! If I let James spill I'll throw away my future!"

"But you'll be with me! Isn't that enough for you?" she spat, feeling tears prick her pupils. He spluttered and looked back and forth from her and the moon blazing behind her. "Isn't it?" There was no obvious answer, for the question defied all reasoning. It was the love of his life verses his future and the possible fate of mankind. There was no way for him to decide. "I guess that's your answer," she whispered sadly as he shifted his weight anxiously from foot to foot. "Bye Remy."

"Wait Lily!" She shook her head and turned away but he grabbed her hand. "No please, it is! It is!" She turned slightly to face him, releasing the tears as she pulled her hand away.

"I just can't do this," she said as he pitifully tried to pull her back, but she was already walking away.

"No please, don't go!" But he was already standing alone on the empty astronomy tower. She was already gone, leaving him behind.

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10…

The necklace wouldn't unclasp. It slipped under her wet fingers, but refused to come off.

9…

"Start over," she stammered to the fat lady's portrait, still clawing at the silver chain. The portrait swung open and she threw herself through the wall.

8…

A warm body collided with her as she tried to cross the dance floor to enter her rooms. They toppled to the ground amid the crowd of people counting down.

7…

"You okay, Evans?" A clouded figure asked her, helping her up off the floor. He looked familiar, like Harry.

6…

He guided her over to a couch and lowered her onto it gently. She didn't argue as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

5…

"You're a mess, Evans! Are you on your own?" he asked softly, stroking her back as she sobbed into his shirt.

4…

"He-he dumped me! I'm n-not as important as his-his stupid future!" she whimpered as he forced her head up. Hazel met green as she crumpled into him.

3…

"Who on earth would dump you, Lily?" he cooed, pushing salty hair away from away from her eyes. She leaned into his caress, unaware of the packed common room counting down to a new start.

2…

"You called me Lilt," she whispered, as he thanked his lucky stars he had dumped his girlfriend before he had attended the party. No one noticed as Remus sulked into the room, looking shell shocked and suicidal.

1…

"Yes I did," James murmured back, his lips nearing hers. The lone lythrocamp halfway through the portrait hole felt a surge of loss creep up his throat.

0

James' lips met Lily's in a salty kiss. Remus final ray of hope splintered into a pile of despair.

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A/N: I'm already ducking thrown books. Don't worry because that is NOT the end. This will have a happy ending for everyone! Teaser?

'It didn't come off,' he thought desperately. 'Thank Merlin it didn't come off!'

And I'm sure you're all wondering why Lily freaked out. Well, you'll find out. REVIEW! Toodles!