Ah Mewberty, the single episode after "Blood Moon Ball" that was most requested. The turning point of the series that showed it could be more then a generic cartoon showing it could be creepy and serious as well as funny. Fans and critics loved it alike and I just have to say... I don't like this episode that much honestly. Yeah, it's rare where I find something I dislike that everyone else likes but it does happen. I could go on a rant of all the little things that added up like constantly cutting away from Star's transformation, not having enough time to establish what Mewberty is, Glossarick being a particular jackass out of any other episodes he's in, etc and so forth. But the primary complaint I have is Marco giving up and letting Star go; that is so out of character for him that I will never forgive this episode for that as Marco would NEVER just let Star go like he did, NEVER! There are some good bits to it like the creepy atmosphere, the area where Star makes her "nest", and most importantly the form Star takes is just awesome; but this episode just does not work for me.
Now with that confession out of the way, let's move on to the episode itself. *In a quiet voice* Please don't hate me for disliking this episode, we all can have opinions right?
Marco looked out the window annoyed as Oskar flew away on Floyd to sing across town again. He had been doing that recently attempting to "spread the music" as Oskar would say to the whole town's chagrin. Marco admired the guy's commitment to being a musician but never really asked himself the question 'Am I actually playing good music?' or 'Do I need to improve?' before playing around. Oskar was far from the worst singer but he could be pretty dang annoying at times; especially now that he had that bird to fly around on everywhere. Marco sighed and turned back to Star who was collecting up art supplies to put away. They had just finished art class and Star always volunteered to help the teachers whenever needed which had been earning her the title 'teacher's pet' amongst the students. Marco always helped Star out despite the fact it was bringing down his bad boy image but it didn't matter much to him now. After what he had been through in the past images of being awesome were secondary. As he helped Star he notice something on Star's forehead speaking up.
"Hey Star, I think you got paint on your face." Star felt around her face in confusion until she pulled off a purple heart from her forehead studying it for a second. The blood drained from her face as she got a terrified look that got Marco's attention as she threw the heart away in fear.
"No! Nononononononononononono! This can't be happening to me. Why is this happening to me?" Marco immediately went over to Star standing next to her.
"What's wrong, I think I'm missing something here." Star turned to Marco scared as a few more hearts popped up on her face making him take a step back.
"I'm going through something known as Mewberty. Why is it happening to me? Half-breeds aren't supposed to suffer from Mewberty according to studies the scholars have done on them." Star was now rubbing her tail clearly panicking as Marco got a random paper bag lying around and gave it to Star who set it aside. "I'm panicking not hyperventilating." Marco rubbed the back of his head slightly embarrassed before asking Star,
"So, what happens to those who go through Mewberty?" Star tried calming down to tell him but only partially succeeded.
"Well most people only experience minor symptoms like spots appearing on their bodies or having a fascination with those of the opposite biological sex. But mom told me that it's A LOT stronger the further up in royalty you are with the princess being the worst. This is gonna get to destroy the school level weird." Marco took another step back as Star turned to him grabbing onto his backpack. "You need to keep me away from boy- wait." Star blinked at him creepily moving in closer. "Marco's a boy." Star smiled creepily as Marco slowly detached himself from her with more spots popping up on her. Star then seemed to mentally swat herself on the wrist, "No bad Star, you're better than that." Marco then spoke up getting Star's attention.
"Ok, I have a feeling getting you home isn't going to help as there are a lot of boys and men between here and home. We are gonna have to hide you somewhere in the school until this passes. Do you have any more information about this Mewberty that I need to know?" Star shook her head no prompting Marco to take the lead. "Ok, there is an unused janitor's closet just down the hallway; if you can make it that far we can hide you there until this passes." Star nodded and followed him like a frightened puppy as Marco went down the hallway to the closet. Fortunately there were few people and none Marco could tell right off the bat were boys so he only had himself to worry about for now. As they moved through the hallway however a boy rounded the corner and opened his locker prompting Star's attention.
"Oh no a boy! Just look away; loooook away." Star turned her whole body to stare at the boy however walking backwards for a ways until they put some distance between themselves and the boy. "ehhhhh, Marco this isn't working." Marco turned to look back at Star and began speaking.
"Just follow the sound of my voice Star, just follow it." Star directed her attention at Marco as best she could trailing him. "Come on Star just 20 more steps until the end destination. That's it." Star followed Marco moving faster. "Alright Star, just 10 more steps now and you will be-" Star stopped however at the sound of a water fountain being turned on and turned to see a boy there.
"Boooooooy." Star spoke in a low and creepy fashion fixing the boy with an intense stare prompting Marco to grab onto her leftshoulder with his left hand.
"Star, look at-" However a few seconds after he made contact a layer of the purple hearts formed connecting together like purple thread making them both freeze in horror before screaming. "Star, the closet is right her just keep moving." Marco used the thread to swing Star around throwing her right next to the door to the closet. "Ok, I'll have it open in a second." Marco used his right hand to take a bobby pin and unlock the door making Star notice despite her panicked state.
"Where did you learn that?" Marco stood up slightly proud pocketing the bobby pin.
"From Janna, she taught me a surprising amount. Now in you go." Marco pointed to the room which Star scurried into without a second thought pulling the thread that connected them apart. "Now stay here, bar the door, and put in some sort of ear plugs to keep noise out. I'll be back once I figure out how to stop this, got it?" Star nodded but spoke up just as Marco was about to close the door.
"If you want my book I gave it to Janna so she could try to learn some spells." Marco fixed her with a deadpan stare making Star sweat slightly. "She did me a favor so I did her one." Marco face palmed before speaking.
"Next time, ask me for help instead of her." He then shut the door and took off in search of Janna.
Janna and Ferguson were looking through Star's magic book with massive grins on their faces as they found spells that sounded like they might work without the wand. Ferguson and Janna constantly took pictures of the spells and even made notes on how to find them as best as possible; but this was more of an adventure to them than actual research at the moment. Janna looked at Ferguson to the side and saw him putting a sticky note to act as a bookmark of sorts even though it would do no good in this book. Janna and Ferguson sounded like an odd duo but there were a surprising number of things that they had in common. They both liked role-playing games like D&D (he introduced her to it), they both liked causing mischief just for the fun of it (she introduced him to it), they both were avid history and literature geeks, and most importantly they both loved the idea of practical magic. In fact they were trying to start an occult club to gather more information but the school's bureaucracy was getting in the way; as usual.
Ferguson spoke up, "I really hope Star lets us at the book again; I don't think we can get it all in one day." Janna smiled turning the page.
"Oh don't worry, we may have this only once but we can have it as long as we want." They looked down at the page they were on to see it was a start to a chapter that was all about how to use spells without wands or latent magic. Janna and Ferguson looked at each other and squeed with joy as this was the one thing they desperately needed. "Do you think she'll miss this section?" Janna said as she ripped out the whole chapter stuffing it in her backpack with Ferguson shaking his head no. As they got back to reading Ferguson spoke,
"Odd, there are no love spells in here. I thought that was the first spell anyone would do." Janna cast him a creeped out suspicious look with Ferguson realizing what he implied. "Oh I wouldn't use it, I have this lovely fellow." He pulled out his belly making it talk. "The ladies can't resist me." Janna couldn't help but giggle at how strange he could be at times. 'No wonder our group of five formed when Marco was set as overseer.' Janna thought as they turned back to the book only to be interrupted by Marco running up to them.
"Guys, I need the book. Star's in trouble." The smiles fell from their faces as they realized this had to be serious if Marco was referencing Star.
Star pulled off another purple heart and threw it into the rather large pile that had formed in one corner of the closet. The door and the earmuffs she had conjured up to block the noise from outside did help enormously to the point where hearts had actually stopped popping up on her. Of course due to the small size of the closet she had to sit in the opposite corner of the pile of hearts making the pile seem even more intimidating then it should be. Star shuddered silently at what might have happened and pulled off what she was fairly sure was the last heart and flicked it into the pile sighing in relief. However her relief was short lived when a voice intruded in her mind.
"Go for boys." Star looked up and around trying to discern the source of it only realizing after a minute it had to have come from inside her head. "Yes, I'm you Star. Why are you hiding in a closet?" Star shuddered at the voice; hallucinations were not part of Mewberty by a long shot.
"You're not real, just a figment of my imagination." The voice chuckled before answering.
"I'm as real as you believe me to be and much much more. Now go get some boys to find the one best for you." Star shook her head trying to clear it.
"No, this voice does not exist."
"We can spend all day debating this but it does not change the fact that you should get some boys and go through them." Star shook her head again with the voice chuckling in amusement. "You do realize that is not going to do anything right? Go out and find boys, become what you were meant to be." Star shook her head gritting her teeth.
"No. I'm not a bad monster; I never will be." The voice chuckled again as if this were a game.
"Just kidnapping people is not that horrible, they can brush it off. You will not be evil, only beautiful." Star shuddered at the tone it took before realizing hearts were beginning to pop up again.
"No, nonononoNONONONO." Star began picking off hearts as fast as possible inadvertently knocking her wand into the pile of hearts. When she went to pick it up hearts flew up to her whenever she got within a few inches of them. "No!" Star gave a panicked sob of despair. Images began going through her mind of her kidnapping people and imprisoning them with villagers coming after her with pitchforks and torches like they did when she was five; except this time they were justified. Somehow the images stopped the hearts from popping up temporarily allowing her to scrape off the hearts stuck to her hand and those that had popped up. The voice chuckled before speaking again,
"Two can play at that game." Images of hot boys began filing through her mind. Crushes she had in the past that had rejected her now imprisoned to her will, boy bands she had discovered on earth serenading her personally, and all the hunky knights in the kingdom there looking up at her adoringly. Star tried fighting the images but more hearts began popping up much faster then she could pull them off prompting her to draw her claws and try shredding them off. As she flung the shredded hearts to the side the voice spoke again,
"tsk tsk tsk, You are a stubborn one." Then an image popped into her head of Marco, shirtless exposing the toned body Star had seen before from the waist up, holding a plate of his nachos, with a warm smile on his face. He seemed to speak, "Come to me Star, I'll keep you safe and warm from any nasty villagers." This didn't cause more hearts to pop up but distracted Star from pulling off hearts making them spread. Star shut her eyes trying to keep the image away.
"No. Stop, please!" Tears began streaming down her face as she stumbled and fell into the pile of hearts knocking her wand to the door. The hearts began accumulating on her from the pile and naturally. Star began to feel her mind go blank and numb with her last words being, "I don't want to be a bad girl." The hearts finished accumulating with the pile stilling. After a few seconds a pair of reddish glowing lights the shape of hearts emerged where Star's eyes were. The hearts began hardening into a chrysalis with vines growing around it and pushing at the door out of the closet.
"Come on come on, there has to be something in here." Marco was panicking as he flipped through the book with Ferguson and Janna standing to the side feeling slightly nervous. Marco had informed them of what was happening but in a rush and disjointed, so much was left to their imaginations. After a little while Marco stopped and hit his head on the book speaking in frustration,
"Isn't there a table of contents, index, or even a Glossary for this book?!" The book itself seemed to shift much to their amazement and began to speak.
"Did someone say Glossarick?" The pages flipped fast shooting out a one foot tall bald blue man wearing a brown bath robe and had a pinkish purple gem in his forehead. "Greetings, I am sir Glossarick of terms in service to the magical high commission and the counsel of the Butterfly line of Mewni." He waved a hand creating his name and title above him in golden letters that rotated before coming to rest. "Now my princess, what is it you wish to know." Ferguson and Janna couldn't help but laugh at this with Marco ready to tell Glossarick off but a thought came to mind. What if Glossarick didn't help him because he wasn't a princess? Marco shook himself a second and spoke in a higher pitched tone of voice,
"Princess Marcia wishes to know about Mewberty Sir Glossarick." Janna and Ferguson looked at him in shock as Glossarick thought for a second.
"Well, assuming that you read your "Mewberty and You" book that your parents were supposed to give you, you would know about common initial side effects of which you are experiencing none now."
"Well it's not me it's a friend of mine Star Butterfly. I need to know how to help her overcome it." Glossarick thought for a few agonizing seconds before he spoke.
"Well unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it." Marco groaned in exasperation as Glossarick continued. "Either she will be back to normal by 3:57pm or she will not be; let nature take its course Marcia." The duo nearby chuckled with Ferguson whispering,
"I know this is serious, but could honestly imagine anyone calling Marco Marcia with a straight face?" Janna chuckled before replying.
"Not by a long shot." Glossarick looked at the two blinking slowly.
"So you're not a princess? Well you fooled me, best to just let your friend go boy." Glossarick dived back into the book with Marco sighing in exasperation.
"This isn't helping what am I supposed to…" He then froze realizing there was one person he could call for help like he did two times before. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the mirror saying, "Call Toffee." And the mirror rung for a few times before Toffee answered, looking very disheveled, his shirt off, and not too happy as he spoke.
"This had better be…" he then noticed Marco was calling and calmed down a bit. "…well at least I know it's important. What is it Marco?"
"Star is going through Mewberty and I don't know what to do." Janna and Ferguson clustered in close seeing Star's father for the very first time and just stared in awe as Toffee spoke.
"So it did affect Star despite being only half Mewman, and she is one early bloomer; even earlier then you Moon." Toffee spoke the last bit to someone off screen with what seemed to be Moon giggling. Toffee turned back and continued, "Well first off, don't go to the book for help it will be of no use."
Marco replied, "Yeah Glossarick wasn't very helpful either." Toffee nodded.
"So you've been acquainted with that annoying man? Well, the best thing you can do is to isolate Star from people until it passes which I assumed you did?" Marco nodded with Toffee continuing. "That might not work though and if she does turn what you need to do is keep her from getting her hands on a certain boy. No idea who he may be but Star will single out a certain boy and go after him." The trio of friends looked at each other as Toffee continued. "If she does get her hands on him she might never turn back as the point of her hunting a boy is an ancient remnant of Mewman biology to find a proper mate to take care of her when pregnant; and it can be any boy for any reason even a close friend she has no romantic interest in." Marco heard Moon in the background.
"When I went through Mewberty I went after Toffee even though he was just my tutor at the time." The trio of kids shuddered slightly at the thought with a question entering Marco's mind.
"Wait, what do you mean by "turned"?"
A quartet of buff guys from the swim club, wearing only swim trunks, were walking along the hallway chatting with each other nonchalantly as they went back to the locker room.
"Dude, why'd they have to shut down the whole hallway, there's like plenty of room to squeeze by."
"Man, they just wanna be careful. Safety is not something you mess with you know." A third guy piched the bridge over his nose groaning slightly.
"I know I shouldn't be dwelling on this but I'm gonna pound the jackass who threw the turd in the swimming pool." The other three agreed with a fourth one speaking.
"Yeah that all sucks, but we got to show off to the group of ladies." The three others did concede that. "That Sabrina was even looking at me directly out of all of us. I think I should go in with the Heathers now split up." The other three clapped him on the back encouragingly.
"Go for it man, she's not gonna be free forever you know." The laughed but stopped as they heard a cracking sound coming from the abandoned janitors closet. "Ok, did another person get stuck in there? Hey man you ok?" He went to knock on the door only to have it blasted off its hinges across the hallway in a burst of greenish black mist with a few vines popping out of it. They group stared in shock as a slim yet powerful looking clawed hand reached out and grabbed the door frame cracking it, followed by five more as something seemed to slither out. The quartet looked up at the creature as it took to the air making a crackling buzzing sound as a pair of big blood red eyes fixed its gaze on them indifferently.
"Booooy." It said in a creepy yet dreamy fashion before striking.