CHAPTER 7

Next Day (Hospital)

Derek hadn't slept all night since making the phone call to Richard. He was leaving New York, actually leaving behind Addison and Mark. The thought of starting over without them made him unusually uncomfortable. They were his two best friends, and as much as he loved them, leaving was the only option he had. Head buried in his chart, Derek didn't see Mark coming, but rather heard someone ask for him at the nurses' station.

"Where's Shepherd?" Mark asked, angry and demanding. The nurse, take aback by his fury, simply pointed to her right. The commotion caused Derek to look up. His eyes met Mark, and he knew what was coming.

"Mark? What are you doing here? You don't have surgery today?" Without responding Mark stomped up to Derek, grabbed him by his lab coat, and through him into the wall, causing his chart to this the floor and garner lots of stares. "Damn it, Mark." Before Derek could regain his footing, Mark was right back in his face.

"You give me one good reason why I don't smash your face in for hurting her like that or I swear to god you're going to need me to repair it for you." Derek just stared at him, saddened.

"Come with me." Derek led Mark to the empty on-call room so they could talk in privacy.

"Start talking."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Explain to me why I spent all of last night comforting my wife because her supposed best friend saw fit to hurt her. I have never seen her like that. How the hell could you say that to her? Are you mental?"

"Look Mark." Derek couldn't bear to tell him about Seattle. There was a long, silent pause. Derek eyed the floor intently; Mark was still furious. "I'm leaving."

"You're what?"

"I'm leaving Manhattan."

"You really have gone mental. What are you talking about?"

"Richard called. Offered me a job. A great job: head of my own department, world-class facilities, the works. Couldn't say no."

"Couldn't say no? Of course you could. Derek, I may be mad right now but your still me best friend. I don't get it. Why?" Because I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with your wife, can't handle my feelings, and am running away scared at the hope of letting you two crazy kids live happily ever after.

"Time for a change."

"Addison's going to be crushed."

"I know. Figured if she already hated my guts me leaving would seem better."

"So that's why you were an asshole."

"Yeah. Thanks for that by the way. I'm bleeding, man."

"Sorry. You spend all night trying to comfort a crying woman and see how you feel. I still can't believe this. When are you going to tell her? How are you going to tell her?"

"Hadn't thought about it really. Suggestions?"

"This one is on you. Just whatever you do, be gentle. She loves you. You really hurt her last night. Do it again, and I'll have to hurt you, friends or no friends."

"I understand."

"That said; I'm going to miss you. Come here." They shared a hug, and Mark left Derek to mull over his thoughts. He sat on an empty bed, head in his hands. As a surgeon, it was part of Derek's job to have confidence in himself. A surgeon without an ego was no good to his or her patients. Decisions needed to be made correctly in split seconds or people die. He had lived his life like that for six years. And today, for the first time, he doubted himself, doubted his decisions. How do you tell the woman you love, your best friend, the person you promised to never leave, that your are running like a coward away from them?

Two Nights Later

Derek received a call from Mark around 7:30. He was going to the hospital; four car pile-up on the GWB and he was needed. Now was him time to speak to Addison alone. He left his key under the mat, knowing Addi was not going to let him in. It was rather poetic: she sneaks into his apartment, he sneaks into hers. Walking over, he still had no idea how to make her forgive him. Uncertainty at a high, he moved the mat and unlocked the door. Addison heard the noise, and rose from her bed.

"Mark? I thought you had to go to the…." She was stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who walked in.

"Derek?"

"Hey Add."

"What are you doing here? Mark left an hour ago."

"I know; he called me. Told me you'd be alone so we could talk. Left me the key."

"Great. What more do you have to say Derek? You were very clear the other night."

"Addison, I came to apologize. I'm an idiot, I know that. I didn't mean anything I said the other day. I had just lost a patient and…."

"Doesn't matter. You don't just say things like that to people you love. Ever. I don't care what the circumstances are."

"Addi, I know that. I have been a mess thinking I hurt you. I love you. You're my best friend, have been for six years. Nothing will ever change that. I'm serious. You do know me better than I know myself. Always have. And that's why you'll forgive me, you know I'm sorry." There was a long pause between them. Addison, arms still crossed, didn't move a muscle, just locked eyes with Derek.

"Come here. It's too much effort to be mad at you. I haven't had anyone to do the crossword puzzles with. Mark's got to much ADD." Derek walked to her open arms smiling. God she's not going to make this easy. "You ever do that again though, and I'll kick your ass. My husband won't even get a chance."

"I know."

"So, you want to stay for a drink or something. I have a lot to catch you up on."

"Sure. Addison?"

"Yeah?" She responded behind her shoulder as she moved towards the kitchen.

"There is actually something else I need to tell you."

"Alright. I'm listening." Sensing it was bigger than just a shout across the apartment, she put down the glasses and walked over to him. There bodies were close, but Derek needed to be closer. He took her hands in his. "Okay now you're scaring me. What's wrong? You can tell me." He smiled at her, she reciprocated. His gaze was at the floor, and only when he was ready to speak did their eyes meet again.

"I'm leaving."

"What?" She responded, bewildered by his vagueness.

"I'm leaving Manhattan." The color in her face was lost. "Richard called, offered me a spot. I couldn't say no."

"Richard's offers us jobs every week. It's like a routine with him. He wants all of us on his staff, you know that. We say no. It's simple: no!"

"I know what we usually say, but that was then. Things are different now." Addison dropped his hands, and Derek braced himself.

"What do you mean different?"

"The ring on your left hand, Addi. You're married now. You and Mark are married. And then there's me."

"Derek, ring or no ring, the three of us have always been best friends."

"I know that, but now, it's time for you guys to live your married life without me as a…third wheel for lack of a better term."

"Third wheel? Seriously? You could never be a third wheel. Where is all of this coming from?"

"I have been considering it a long time. When Richard called me the other night, it seemed like the best way to go about changing things." Addison sat down on the couch, unable to process what she was hearing.

"Why? Why do things have to change?"

"Addison. Be realistic. I can't spend my entire life latching on to my married friends."

"Why not? You're not latching. You know that. Derek, you are a huge part of my life. We weren't talking for like a week and I was going out of my mind. I can't handle you 3,000 miles away."

"Addison, I'm sorry. I signed my contract yesterday. We are just going to have to make some adjustments. We can do this."

"There is something else. What aren't you telling me?"

"Addison, for once don't psychoanalyze. I just need…a new start. You guys need to have a happy marriage, without me in the way. Addison. Look at me." Taking her by the shoulders, he steadied her antsy body. "I love you. This is for the best. Trust me." Tell her; tell her you're in love with her. You're leaving anyway, what's there to lose? Gently, he brought his lips to hers, and kissed her. It only lasted for a second, but they both felt it; felt it in a big way. "I'll call you when I get there."

"Promise?" Still in shock over the entire situation, that was all Addison could say.

"Of course." Walking out of the apartment, Derek felt relieved. He was ready to try and move on, away from her. She was taken, and he needed to accept that. Addison remained still. Unsure of how to go about her life without him to count on, she was terrified. And what was that kiss? Why did she feel something? Why did she suddenly doubt herself? The light of the moon bounced off her ring finger and she drew her hand upwards. Staring at her hand, she contemplated going after Derek, demanding the whole truth. You don't just leave your two best friends for nothing. Something is wrong. Questions without answers don't sit well with Addi, and it's only a matter of time before she gets what she wants.