Chapter Thirteen

Behind Closed Doors

"Yuki..." Ryo's voice shaking with fear. His face redden beneath the suspicious looks contagiously spreading from face to face. Yuki affectionately held Ryo's hand tightly as he lead him through the streets. Ryo was embarrassed by the looks they received from walking hand in hand. "Where are you taking me Yuki?" Ryo whimpered childishly.

Yuki smiled devilishly, "I thought you could use a little more self-confidence."

"Yuki!" Ryo yelled suddenly realizing he was in a bar surrounded by men much like himself.

Yuki laughed at the expression on Ryo's face as he saw men affectionately hugging and kissing each other. "I just thought it would be funny, plus I wanted to see how much like Shuichi you are." Yuki pulled Ryo's hand through the crowd until he reached the front, then he shoved Ryo onto a stage. "Sing Ryo!" Yuki burst out in the sudden commotion, then the crowd repeated after Yuki.

"Y.Yuki...I don't want to do this!" Ryo stuttered nervously as one man handed him a microphone. "I'm not like Shuichi!" The crowd refused to let him leave so he had no choice. Before a word left his mouth he took a deep breath. His voice at first was shaky, but after the rhythm reached him he was urged to dance and sing more excitedly. His voice was like his dance, like his charm. It was indefinable and charming: something pure and sonorous, beautiful, calming, so to speak. There were continual outburst, melodies, unexpected cadences, then simple phrases strewn with hissing notes; then flood of scales which would have put a nightingale to rout, but in which harmony was always present; then soft modulations of octaves which rose and fell, like the chest of the young singer. His charming face followed, with singular mobility, all the beauty of his song, from the wildest inspiration to the chestiest dignity. One would say he was now a mad creature and then a prince of peace. The crowd cheered and screamed with an idolizing look a pond their faces. Ryo jumped off the stage once he was done and joined Yuki at the bar counter. "What do you think Yuki?" Ryo asked shyly.

"Its cute, but I see parts where Shuichi could have song better." Yuki grabbed a drink and gulped it down. Then he order one for Ryo. "Here kiddo."

"I don't drink." Ryo refused politely. Yuki pushed it back over to him none the less.

"Come on Ryo, your suppose to be enjoying yourself. Live a little, especially if your living with me."

Ryo groaned and held his head in his hands, feeling the room spinning around him as he sank to his knees, shutting his eyes tightly, trembling violently, shuddering. The room stopped and he sighed in relief, hearing a voice in his ear. "See I told you this was great shit." Yuki grinned and kissed Ryo roughly, still feeling a little intoxicated after his four glass.

Ryo whimpered and fell back, having not yet regained his sense of balance. "Yuki..." he stammered, not exactly sure how great it was supposed to be when he felt like he was going to throw up. "Yuki...please can I go home now." Ryo grabbed Yuki's pant legs, still on his knees. Yuki smiled smuggly until he saw the boy collasp at his feet. Yuki, still dizzy himself, carried Ryo home.

Yuki sighed and looked back to Ryo, holding the limp body in his arms and climbing under him, holding Ryo firmly and feeling Yuki cudling back against him caused Ryo's cheeks to redden. Yuki put his arms around Ryo's waist, and drew him to him. His tongue parted his lips and Ryo closed his eyes, trying not to fall into the feeling. Ryo brought his hands around his neck and pulled him closer, pushing away the resistance that stirred inside. This was not who he was nor wanted to be. Yuki pulled back and his eyes held his, he slipped his jacket from his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. When Ryo didn't resist, he kissed him again, more urgently. An alarm rang in Ryo's head. Yuki could have Shuichi, yet he was unbuttoning his shirt. His moans showed how much he wanted him. Goosebumps rose on Ryo, as his fingertips gently traced his bare skin. His moans mimicked Yuki as his tongue follwed his fingers. Suddenly Yuki stopped. His eyes were thin slits. He took his hand and pulled Ryo with him. He followed, but before he stepped into the bedroom, he glanced over his shoulder, focusing on the door. He was going to do this. It was time for him to stop being a voyeur and live life on his terms. Yet all he could think about was how much Yuki still loved Shuichi, everything they did he mentioned him.

The phone rang, and Yuki released the sleeping Ryo to lean over the bed. "Yuki...?" Ryo whinned feeling ingored.

Yuki was about to hang up when he heard a breathless voice answer. "Hello?"

"Yuki..." Shuichi felt his mouth go dry. "Yuki..."

Yuki faltered and nearly lost his balance, sitting down suddenly beside Ryo. "Shuichi?" There was silence as they both fought to find the right words to say in this situation. "You haven't called in a week Shuichi." Yuki sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Are you coming home soon?"

Shuichi suddenly gasp on the other end, Yuki can hear a sort of sniffle. "Well...I" Shuichi was weak and solemn, afraid to speak to Yuki.

"Shuichi, you ok? You're not yourself." Yuki's voice filled with concern.

Shuichi remained content, "Yuki...I called last night...you didn't answer. Why?"

Yuki suddenly blushed and looked at Ryo, who was still sleep holding onto Yuki's waist. "Shuichi...I..."

Shuichi heard his pause and suddenly interrupted, "its ok, my calls are annoying away." His voice cheered up as though he was hiding his sorrow and pain, "anyway I leaving for the airport now. I should be home tomorrow, mid-day ok. I have to go, I'll see you then." Shuichi quickly left Yuki on the other end still baffled.

"Shuichi...I have to tell you..."