CHAPTER 8
Three Months Later
Ever since Derek left, things had changed between Addison and Mark. They didn't talk as much, or spend nearly as much time together. Work began to take precedence. They had been best friends with him ever since they started going out, and didn't know how to be around each other without him as a buffer. They both felt the change, but neither knew how to handle it. Derek and Addison still talked all the time on the phone. Amazingly, Derek felt himself slowly getting over her. Maybe it wasn't actually seeing her everyday, or maybe it was the new city, but something had changed. He did cherish their phone calls, though. There was no one in the world he could talk to like he talked to her. At the same time every night they spoke, alternating who called whom
"I still can't believe you live a trailer. World renowned neuro surgeon and you live in a trailer."
"Hey don't knock it until you try it."
"You really see me in a trailer. Me, Derek?"
"I see you anywhere. You'd look beautiful in a trailer." He called beautiful like it was nothing. To him, at least. Mark hadn't called her beautiful in a long time. Derek did, and it made her heart skip a beat. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to tell him about her problems with Mark. It wasn't his job to fix.
"You're cute."
"I try. Look Add, I have to cut us short tonight. I'm having dinner at the Webbers and you know how Adele is."
"I do. You better hurry. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"I know! Good night Add. Give Mark my best."
"Always. Good night Derek." With that, she hung up the phone in her bedroom, and laid her head against the pillows. Why is it so easy with him? He's not your husband, and yet you talk to him more than you do Mark. Addison was so confused by the situation. What she really needed was to see Derek, talk to him face to face; explain the problems. For better or worse, he always knew what to say. She couldn't just jump on the next plane. Could she? Work is pretty quiet, and you do have some time off. Plus it's Seattle! Never been before. And it's Derek. What could be better? What's Mark going to think? He blames Derek's absence for the change. Or at least he did the last time we spoke, whenever that was.
One Month Later
Things between Mark and Addison had hit an all time low. All they did was fight. Nothing seemed to work between them anymore. Addison's thoughts were still stuck with Derek and Seattle. She still felt wrong running away though. And then, one day, as if a sign from God, she got the push she needed.
"Hello?"
"Addison?"
"Richard, it's great to hear from you."
"Same here, Addi. How are things with Mark? Any better since we last spoke?"
"No. How is he?"
"Derek. He's good. Seems to like it. Gets along well with the staff. He misses you, though. Whenever Adele brings you up, he gets this look in his eyes. You guys still talk don't you?"
"Whenever we have the time. I miss him."
"Anyway, Addi I'm sorry to be short with you but this is more of a business call. I have a woman here. She is a TTTS case. I need to know if you can come out to Seattle for a while and see her. Is that at all possible?" There's your sign, take it!
"Yes, Richard I can. I was considering coming out to visit anyway so this is perfect. I can be there tomorrow. Oh and Richard, don't tell him I'm coming. Kind of want to surprise him."
"Will do Addi. See you soon." With that, Richard hung up, a huge smile on his face. It's time for her to leave the jerk anyway. Back in New York, Addison couldn't have been more excited for a case. She just needed to tell Mark. And she knew what his reaction would be.
"Addison! Are you kidding me? We have problems and you run off to him?"
"It's not him I'm going for. Are you not listening: TTTS case? Only a handful of surgeons know how to perform separation surgery, and you're looking at one of them. What is your problem? Suddenly you're intimidated by Derek?"
"No. I am not."
"He left so we could be together. As a couple. Just the two of us. And since he's left, we barely speak anymore."
"All you think about is him. I see it in your eyes."
"When? You're never around. When you're with me, you practically ignore me. Tell me I'm wrong." Mark had no response. "I think we should separate." I can't believe I actually said that.
"What?" Mark was furious. "You can't be serious."
"I am. Look the case should take about three weeks once the surgery is done. I'll track their progress in Seattle at first, and when I get back we can work on us." Mark didn't respond, instead took the vase on the counter and chucked it at the wall opposite Addison.
"Are you out of your mind?"
"Just go. Go to Seattle. Be with him for all I care."
"You know. The two worst parts of your personality are you stubbornness and your temper. You're two for two tonight! I'm going to pack. My flight leaves in the morning. Richard was right. I just should have listened earlier." He told me two months ago that Mark wasn't good enough for me. He told me. I'm just as stubborn as he is. As she packed, all she could think about was Derek. Now was the time to get that truth out of him. Face to face. She needed to know why he left. If she was right, everything in her life was about to change.
Two Days Later
"Yang your with Burke, Karev and O'Malley hit the pit, Grey your with me, Stevens, Shepherd needs some help, your with him. Move it people." Derek stood of to the side, watching Bailey address her interns. When the all scattered, he approached.
"You're quite the resident. I see why they call you the Nazi."
"I am. Now watch yourself. Don't you have patients?"
"Yes, ma'am." And with a faux salute, he walked away with Stevens behind him. Had he waited a second longer, he would have caught a glimpse of his best friend in the corridor behind him. She saw him, though. God he looks good. His hair is longer. Very Russell Crowe. I like it. Addison approached the same woman she saw Derek talking to for directions.
"Excuse me do you know where I could find Chief Webber?"
"And you are?"
"Addison Montgomery. Nice to meet you."
"Dr. Addison Montgomery? The referral from New York on the TTTS case?"
"That's my full title, yes." She replied with a grin.
"I'm Miranda Bailey. I'll be assisting you on this case. Richard's told me a lot about you. Quite the reputation."
"Thank you. Do you know where I could find him?" Before Bailey could respond, a familiar voice shouted out.
"Addi!" All three women spun around.
"Richard. How are you?"
"I'm good, I'm good. How was the flight?"
"Alright."
"Come to my office, let's talk."
"Okay. Nice to meet your Dr. Bailey. And…"
"Meredith Grey."
"As in Ellis Grey's daughter."
"One in the same."
"Pleasure to meet you."
"Same here." Addison and Richard walked towards the elevator. They reached his office, and Addison pulled up a chair.
"Brain surgery? You had brain surgery and couldn't call me and tell me?"
"It wasn't a big deal. Derek's the best, you know that."
"I don't care. It's brain surgery! How Adele puts up with you is beyond me!"
"Me too." After both settled their laughter, Addi's face turned serious.
"I left him. Mark. Told him we should separate."
"Addi, I'm sorry."
"I'm not. We drifted. We need this time apart to see if we can even fix our numerous problems."
"Does Derek know?"
"No. Don't know if I'm going to tell him."
"You have to."
"It's not his problem."
"He'd want to know." Addi thought long and hard about what Richard was saying. She knew he was right. She had to say something.
"I'll think about it. Look I'm going to get settled in, change, and see my patient."
"Okay. Great to have you hear. And you know, I always have a permanent spot for you."
"I know Richard. Thanks. By the way, where is my favorite brain surgeon? He'll kill me if he knows I was here for a while without saying hello."
"Third floor, with a patient. He should be out soon. He's just running the procedure with the family."
"Thank you Richard, for everything." With a hug, Richard watched his favorite intern in all of his years of teaching walk out the door, knowing fully well what that thank you meant.
Third Floor Corridor
"Stevens, pre-op labs, schedule an O.R., and that's it. I'll see you to scrub-in in two hours. Thank you."
"Thanks, Dr. Shepherd." Signing the chart, Derek handed it to his intern.
"Who's that?" Izzie questioned, not recognizing the woman.
"Who's who?" Derek looked up to see a head of red hair that he would recognize anywhere. "Addison?" She spun around, a huge smile on her face.
"Derek!" They moved towards each other, Addison smiling, Derek as well. They embraced each other. God she looks good. Smells amazing as always. Seeing her, like it always did, made his heart skip a beat. She had that "take your breath away" quality to her, and it got him every time.
"Addison! Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
"Wanted to surprise you."
"You did. I'm so happy to see you. Excuse my manners, Dr. Izzie Stevens this is Addison Montgomery."
"Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Stevens."
"Same here. Call me Izzie, everyone does. Okay Dr. Shepherd I'll take care of these labs."
"Thanks, Stevens. Why didn't Richard tell me you were coming?"
"I asked him not to. Wanted to surprise you. You look great. Your hair is longer. I love it."
"Thanks. Haven't found the time to get it cut. Enough about me. How are you? How's Mark?" At the mention of his name, her smile faded. "Add?"
"You have time to talk before surgery?"
"Of course. Coffee?"
"Sounds great." Taking her arm in his, they walked to the cafeteria. Just being near him made Addison feel so much better.
Cafeteria
"How long has it been like this?"
"Since you left, I guess. We have just been distant. Never talked, never spent real personal time together. He stopped caring, and I stopped trying to fix it. Richard's call was just the perfect excuse for a separation. You know, work out our issues?"
"Yeah, I understand completely. I'm sorry, Add."
"Me too. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I don't know." Derek could see the tears welling up in her eyes.
"Come here." He brought her into a warm hug, and she felt safe. Truly safe for the first time in a long time. "Damn it. I have to go scrub in. I have an idea though. After surgery, I'll drive to your hotel, pick you up, and make us a good home cooked meal in my trailer. You'll love it. What do you say?"
"Sounds perfect. I'm excited to see it."
"You'll love it. Just leave your information with the nurses' station and I'll meet you around six." Getting up, he kissed her cheek. Before he could pull away, she grabbed his hand in hers and massaged gently. Her touch still sent shivers up his spine. You're so far from over her it's sad. "I'm glad you came." Reassuringly, he gave her one more kiss before running off to scrub in. Addison finished her coffee, and went to check-in to her hotel. Tonight at dinner: you need to ask him. No stopping until it's the truth this time. You need to know…does he feel the same way.
The Trailer
"Why are my eyes closed Derek?"
"Because we are almost there and you don't get to peak."
"Fine. We're stopped."
"Excellent deduction, Sherlock. Ow. How the hell can you hit me with your eyes closed?"
"I can sense you. Now can I open them?"
"Hold on. Let me help you out of the car." Derek ran around to the passenger side and took Addi's hand. They walked a couple of steps. "Okay, open." Addison obliged, and felt the air leave her body. The land was beautiful.
"Derek. It's amazing."
"Told you. All the land is mine; I just have no idea what to do with it. For now, it's the trailer. Who knows about the future? Come on let me give you the tour."
"Long tour; I better brace myself." Derek shot her a look, getting a laugh out of her. "Sorry."
"No your not. I'll let you in anyway." They walked in, and Addison was moderately impressed.
"It's nice, very woodsmen. Bigger than I thought."
"Thank you. Here, make yourself comfortable, and I'll put dinner on."
"Need help?"
"No, you're my guest. Just relax. Catch me up on your life. How's the TTTS patient?" For about thirty minutes they made small talk, comparing patients, discussing Seattle, etc.
"Dinner's almost ready." Before they ate, she had to ask. It took her enough to wait this long.
"Smells delicious. Derek, there is something I need to ask you." She said, getting up to meet him as he ran around this tiny kitchen.
"Of course. What's up?"
"Why did you leave New York?"
"Addi, we've talked about this. I needed a change, and you guys needed your space. It's that simple."
"No, it's not. I know there is something more. I feel it. And I'm not going to leave this alone until you tell me." Derek put down the drinks in his hand to face her. She meant business. He knew that. There separated. If ever there was a time to tell her, it's now. You can't always put someone else's happiness first.
"You want to know the truth? Alright. Here it is. And don't interrupt because I have a lot to say. I have been waiting six years to say it."
"I can do that." There was a long pause, as Derek wasn't sure where to begin.
"Addison, all the reasons I said for leaving Manhattan were true. I wanted a fresh start. I wanted to give you and Mark a chance as a couple. They are true, but they are excuses, covers for why I really left. Don't take this the wrong way, but I left because of you. To get away from you. I didn't think I could be around you anymore because Addi, the truth is, I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you since the day we met in the library. From the moment you looked at me when I hit that kid's table I've loved you. You complete me."
"Der…"
"Still my turn. You talk after. I have more to say." All Addi could do was nod. "When I found out you were Mark's girlfriend, I figured friends would be enough for me. But it never has been. Don't get me wrong I love being your friend; don't know what I would do without you. But over the years, just being friends wasn't enough. When we were together, everything else disappeared. At the wedding, as I watched you marry another man, I finally realized I couldn't watch anymore. I needed to make a change, because I was miserable not having you in that way. Not being able to have you like Mark could. There were so many times, so many opportunities, when I could have, should have, just grabbed you and kissed you with all the love in my heart. The flip side of my love for you was that I would be breaking up my two best friends, and that was something I couldn't live with. So, I called Richard and accepted his offer. That is why I left. Any questions?" Say something Addi, say anything.
"No, Derek. No questions at all." With that, she pushed herself off the table she was leaning against and walked over to Derek. Their bodies were mere inches apart. She took his face in her hands, delicately, and kissed him hard on the mouth. It was an eruption of passion that took both of them by surprise. Derek wasted no time moving his hands to rest on her hips. They continued kissing, stumbling around the kitchen because it was so damn small. They maneuvered around the table and momentarily lost the kiss when Derek knocked into a chair hard.
"Ow."
"Told you this thing is too small."
"Think this is funny do you?" Derek quickly re-met Addison's lips with his own as he pushed her against the closest wall. The kiss deepened, and Derek began to trace her jaw line and neck with his lips and fingers. Addison's hands roamed Derek's hair as she pulled his mouth back to hers. Both felt the heat of the moment. Everything else was forgotten. There was no hospital. There was no Mark. There was just them, together at last. Derek pulled away from her, only as long as needed.
"You know, I did manage to squeeze a bed in here if you're interested." Addison didn't speak; just flashed him a smile and he immediately knew what she wanted. Taking her into his arms, they made their way to his bedroom. In sync, they fell on to the bed, tangled up in each other. Clothes were quickly disposed of. Hands were everywhere, begging for skin. Suddenly, the smell of smoke filled the trailer, scaring both Addison and Derek.
"Oh shit." Derek hopped out of bed and went to turn off the stove. He hadn't even realized it was still on. Addi propped herself up on her elbows, uncontrollably laughing.
"Nice one." She shouted to him. After safely averting a fire, Derek re-entered his bedroom.
"Where were we?" He asked slyly, taking her beautiful face in his hands and teasing her lips with his. This was a dream come true, for both of them.