CHAPTER 9

Derek awoke with a start, hearing the door to the trailer blowing in the wind. Turning over, he felt the empty pillow next to him and became confused.

"Addison?" He heard no response, but saw the porch light on. Getting dressed, he went to find her. His suspicion was correct: through the screen door he could see her, in his favorite law chair, looking out on the woods. "Hey." Addison turned around, shocked to hear anything in the otherwise quiet forest.

"I didn't hear you."

"Sorry. I'm sneaky like that." Flashing her a smile, he pulled up a chair next to hers.

"I borrowed some of your stuff, hope you don't mind."

"You kidding? You're welcome to whatever. Plus, it's kind of a turn on." Derek thought that was charming, but Addison didn't respond the way he thought she would. She simply smiled, and turned back to the trees. "Add, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything's fine."

"Nice try. You can talk to me. You know that." Addison sat there, contemplating his words. She knew he was right. It's Derek, you tell him things you don't even tell your girlfriends. Don't fall into the same trap you did with Mark.

"Derek….. I'm scared." Derek was taken aback by her admission. Addison was the toughest person, male or female, that he knew. He never heard her admit fear, sadness, any sort of weakness.

"What are you scared of?"

"You." She paused. Well that came out of nowhere. Explain yourself. "No, Derek that came out wrong. I'm not scared of you. Hell, I'm in love with you. I'm scared of me and you. I'm scared of us." Got to give him more than that. "Ok here it is. Derek, we have been friends, best friends, since med school. The time we spent together always made my day better. Until last night, I just kept fooling myself into thinking that Derek is the friend and Mark is the boyfriend. And then you lay this bombshell on me that you have been in love with me the entire time. I always thought you were, but things were good as they were so I just brushed it off. But when you said it, finally said how you felt, I realized I felt the same way. So I kissed you. For once in my life, I didn't over think something and just went with it. And we had sex. Great sex." Derek lay back in his chair, going over the evening in his head. "Hey, I'm not done. Focus."

"Sorry. Go on."

"Everything about last night was perfect. And that's what scares me. I'm used to you as my best friend, my confidante in everything. I'm not saying I don't want to give us a try. I'm just afraid of what will happen if something goes wrong. Derek, I can't risk losing you in my life. The three months I didn't see you everyday actually caused my marriage to fall apart. You're too special, too important for me to lose. And if we went out, and broke up, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. And that's that." Addison let out a big sigh of relief, and leaned back momentarily. Not giving Derek much time to think, she hopped back up. "Okay, you really need to say something because I'm about to lose it." Instead of speaking, Derek stood up, opened the door to the trailer, and grabbed the blanket off the couch. Sitting back down, he pulled Addison's chair next to him, and laid the blanket over the both of them.

"Six years is a lot of time to love someone. Over the course of those six years, I kept my mouth shut because, in weighing my options, risking losing my two best friends wasn't worth the chance you may or may not love me back. When I left Manhattan, I knew the scales had turned in my favor. And I got scared. Three months apart from you made me less scared. When I saw you yesterday, all the feelings I had worked on getting over flooded back into my heart. I left you once. I don't plan on making the same mistake again. Mark and I are very different people. I don't know if he ever cared about you the same way I did. And I and you and he and you have always had different relationships. Just because you guys didn't work doesn't mean we won't." Touching her chin, she sat up and looked in to his eyes. "Addison, I love you. I have loved you for six years, and I plan on loving you for sixty more. Now, I know you're scared. But sometimes, it's just about having a little faith. You are never going to lose me, I promise." With that, he kissed her softly on the lips. Pulling back, their foreheads still touched.

"How can you be so sure?" She whispered. Not verbally responding, Derek simply kissed her, softly and passionately. He made it quick, and pulled back, clearly leaving Addison wanting more. Derek intertwined his fingers with hers, and leaned back, looking out at the woods. Addison, for the first time in awhile, felt truly safe, and happy. It's all because of him. Relax! As recognition of the message he sent through the kiss, Addison stood up, moved the chair back to where it was, and extended her hand for him to follow her in.

Two Weeks Later

"Shepherd, stop daydreaming! Your due in surgery now!"

"Sorry, Chief. I was…."

"Being all googly-eyed towards your new girlfriend. Yeah, what else is new?"

"I wasn't being googly-eyed alright I'm not twelve. I was just…admiring from a far."

"Whatever you say, Derek. She is doing great though. Staff loves her."

"I know. It's only been two weeks. You'd think it's been years." Derek's eyes lit up whenever he saw, or talked about her.

"Seriously, Shep. Surgery. Now. She'll be here when you get out. I promise."

"I'm going." Richard walked Derek head to the scrub room. Haven't seen that boy so happy in years. As good a time as ever, Richard headed in Addison's direction. He watched her work, saw how she handled her patients. You taught her well. Addison placed the baby back in her incubator and headed for the door.

"Chief! What can I do for you?"

"Well, you're certainly in high spirits. Higher than when you arrived."

"Yeah, well a lot has changed." Addison smiled, thinking happily of the small time she had spent with Derek so far.

"I've noticed. And that's why I'm here There is something I want to run by you. Got a minute?"

"For you, anything. Coffee?"

One Hour Later

Addison sat in the observation deck above Derek's surgery. He and Burke were working together on a seventeen year old in a car accident. They couldn't afford double anesthesia, so were both working at the same time. Derek was amazing to watch, and she loved to watch him. He moved with such elegance around the brain, very confident, but never cocky. He knew what he was doing, and it showed. She was proud of him. Derek eventually looked up, eyes meeting Addison's. They were different when they were aimed at her; anyone could see it.

"Hey, Dr. Montgomery."

"Hey, umm, everyone. Wow, where's Bailey if all of you are here?"

"We were in the on-call room and she told us that we should get off our lazy asses and watch two of the best surgeons in the hospital work, and not nap." Yang replied.

"So where is she?"

"Napping." To this, Addison laughed.

"Well, learning from osmosis isn't a bad way to do it. It's why I watch other surgeries. Helps to see other specialties at work."

"Yeah, and it helps when your boyfriend's working too."

"Alex, shut up. She's an attending."

"Thanks Izzie, but he's sort of right." They all laughed at this. "What can I say? He's a cutie."

"We know. Dr. McDreamy."

"Dr. what?"

"You haven't heard his nickname?" Addison looked on, puzzled. "We all sort of call him Dr. McDreamy."

"To his face?"

"No. Just behind his back."

"Dr. McDreamy. I like that. Does he know?"

"Yeah, I think he does."

"Think it embarrasses him?"

"I'm sure it does."

"I like it." Everyone laughed. The interns all responded well to Addison, and Addison preferred spending her time with them. They weren't bossy like attendings or suck ups like most interns. They were young, fresh, and eager to learn. Plus, the got a kick out of the stories she had to tell.

An hour passed, and not one person was facing the O.R. There eyes were all transfixed on Addison as she told a story from when her and Derek were interns under Dr. Webber.

"No way! So you actually stayed at the hospital for an entire week to get in on the surgery." George asked, amazed.

"It was Siamese twins. How could I not? Richard said anyone that stayed was in, and I was sure as hell going to get in."

"That is brilliant. So something I would do." Yang responded. "Was the surgery amazing?"

"Beyond words. Oh, there done. Guess we missed most of it. Oh well, there's always more surgeries, more to learn. I actually have to talk to McDreamy so if you will all excuse me."

"Dr. Montgomery? Do you think some time you could tell us more of your stories? They are great to hear." Meredith asked. The way they all looked up, it was evident they all had the same idea in mind.

"Anytime. And, call me Addison. I hate being called by my last name. I have hundreds of them. See you all later." With that, Addison walked out of the observation box and down to meet Derek.

"She's awesome. I really like her." Izzie was the first to speak as they all watched her leave.

"Me too. She's great. Not to mention, hot!"

"Great Alex. Real mature. Brilliant doctor and you pay attention to her looks."

"Have you seen her? McDreamy, I mean Dr. Shepherd, is one lucky guy."

"You called him McDreamy."

"Shut up, Fetus." George didn't bother responding, just shot Alex a look.

"Nice work Dr. Shepherd."

"Same to you, Dr. Burke. Um, Dr. Burke?"

"Yes Shepherd?"

"I have been here about three months now. We have done several successful surgeries together. I think we have begun to establish the groundwork for a friendship, or at least a strong colleague to colleague relationship. Why don't we call each other by our first names?"

"I don't think so." With nothing else on the topic, Burke went back to washing up, as did Derek, sort of confused, but not in the mood to probe any further.

"Nice work, gentlemen." Derek's heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice. She leaned against the wall next to the sink.

"Thank you. Saw you clamoring with Bailey's interns. They seem to like you."

"They're great. Good kids."

"Alright well I have somewhere to be. As always Addison, it's been a pleasure."

"Same here, Preston." Derek watched their exchange as he dried his hands, shocked at the informalities. Addison waited until Preston was safely away before approaching Derek.

"We never got a proper hello." Addison was now right up in Derek's face as he leaned against the wall by the garbage can. "Hi." She said seductively, kissing him passionately. Derek broke the kiss, still bothered by what just went on.

"What? I haven't seen you all day and this is the reception I get." She said, pulling away.

"It's not that. Come here." Derek pulled her back in, kissing her so hard her knees went weak. "It's just, you've been here for two weeks and you and Burke are on a first name basis. I have been here three months and he won't call me anything but Dr. Shepherd."

"That's just because you annoy him. I, on the other hand, am charming beyond belief."

"Oh yeah, that's definitely it. Get over here." They returned to kissing, Derek's hands running up and down her back. Addison moved her lips to Derek's neck. "Oh I missed you today. Where were you?"

"Nowhere special. Had a meeting with Richard, saw patients, and hung out with my kids. The usual. Oh, I love it when you do that. Derek, stop! That tickles!"

"I know! Hey, what are you doing now because I really missed you today."

"That's a hard offer to deny, but I do need to take care of something. There is something I want to talk about so, dinner tonight?"

"Whatever you want."

"I could go for…room service. What do you say?"

"I say, what time can you leave?"

"8 o'clock, locker room?"

"Sounds great." Derek said in between kisses.

"Okay Derek if I don't go now I am not going to leave at all."

"That's my plan." Addison literally grabbed his face to stop him, kissed his forehead, and left the scrub room. Derek could do nothing but watch her leave, following her shortly after.

That Night (Addison's Hotel Room)

"I'm just saying it's stupid for you to pay for a hotel room when I have the trailer. It's comfy, quaint, me, beautiful sunrises, me."

"You realize we have this debate every time we sleep here right?"

"It's just stupid I think. And admit it, the trailer is growing on you."

"Whatever you say. Maybe I like my hotel room. What do you have to say about that?"

"This!" Addison didn't realize her proximity to the bed, so Derek's pushing her came as a big shock. She screamed, but before she could move he was on top of her. She was too tired to fight with him, so she let him have his way. At least for a little.

"Okay, Derek! Derek! Babe, I'm tired. Can we order and then talk and then do whatever it is you had in mind?"

"I know what I want, though. 5'9", beautiful red-head, brilliant neo-natal surgeon."

"You're too charming for your own good you know that?"

"I do." Suffice to say, they got to Derek's part of the evening before hers.

"Room Service." Derek and Addison had dozed off, tangled up in each other's arms. They both awoke to the knocking. Addison shoved Derek's arm, and he got the message to answer the door.

"Thank you. Good night." Derek closed the door and wheeled the cart in. Addison loved room service.

"Thank god. I'm starving."

"Me too." Derek grabbed a fry from his plate before grabbing an extra chair. "Wasn't there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yes, there is. Let's sit." They both sat down, Derek slightly hesitant at why Addison was being so serious. "Derek, these past two weeks have been amazing. I know I said I was worried about how things would change between us but I think the transition has been pretty smooth."

"I'd say so." He smiled at her, loosening up a bit. She reached across the table and took his hand into hers, fingering the tips.

"Now, as you know, Richard only asked me to come for three weeks. His intention was just the TTTS case because of its nature." The smile dropped from Derek's face at the thought of losing her because of work. "Richard, the sly one he is, figured out that you and I are together and asked me to coffee today to talk." Addison dropped his hand and went for her bag. Derek was still clueless. "He gave me these." She handed them to Derek.

"These being?"

"Read them!" Derek began to skim the papers, quickly realizing what it was.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Said that there was always a job here for me. I'm surprised it took him this long to ask."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I had to think it over for a little, consult with my hot new boyfriend." Derek looked up at the last part of her sentence. "Okay so I omitted the last part. But assuming you'll have me I'm staying here permanently."

"Addi, I don't know what to say. This is unbelievable. Are you sure this is what you want? I mean since we started we have pretty much avoided the Mark discussion completely." Addison interrupted before he could go any further.

"Derek, that's why I left before. I didn't have patients. I was calling Mark. He obviously hadn't called me so I called him and told him about the offer. And about you."

"You did?"

"I did. Look Derek, on some level I think he knew. He always brought it up when we fought, that I would go run to you or something immature like that. He wasn't happy, but I don't care. Derek, I'm happy with you. I'm happy about us. That's all I care about."

"Me too. Addison, there are no words for how much I'd love to keep you here with me. Sign the papers." Addison stood up and moved over to Derek's chair, hugging him with excitement.

"I'm so happy you said that. I like it too much here to leave."

"Are you kidding? I'd be like the most hated person at the hospital if I drove you away. You get me popularity points."

"I try. So, we are doing this. Me and you. For real. No looking back."

"I guess so. You ready?"

"On some level, I have always been ready, Dr. McDreamy."

"Who told you that?"

"Some of Bailey's interns."

"Is that what you were busy laughing at during my surgery?"

"Yes. I defended it. Think it's kind of sexy."

"Do you?" She nodded. "Well, then. I guess I'm alright with it too." Derek kissed her on the cheek. "Should we eat? How about champagne to celebrate?"

"Suddenly I'm not so hungry for dinner. And I think I have a better way of celebrating in mind."