The Games We Don't Mean To Play
A/N: This is my Jinx piece. I debated long and hard over where to go with this one and how I could write her. I like Jinx. She's this good girl, who because of the hand life dealt her, has done some not so good things. She tries to make amends though. And underneath all that toughness is a total sweetheart. Plus how can you not love someone who has both Kid Flash and Cyborg feeling her? But I'm rambling again. Anyway I hope to all the deities above that I captured her spirit accurately. Read and let me know.
Disclaimer: I own nothing Teen Titans related. If I did certain comic heroes would still be alive and kicking ass, other's would not be "retired", and certain superhero teen teams would still be together.
Biff: You have some serious issues don't you?
I don't like hurting people. It has never been my style. I prefer to things in a much classier fashion. But I slipped up this time. This time someone was hurt.
Actually it was more like two someones'. But I didn't hurt them on purpose. There was no malice, no spite behind my actions. In fact I didn't even realize that what I was doing could be hurtful at first. It all seemed so innocent, so simple.
It started before the Brotherhood reared their ugly heads. It began when Cy, or Stone as he called himself, made his appearance in the Hive. I'll admit that I was almost instantly hooked. Stone was attractive, polite and he seemed genuine. He was a welcome break from all the wanna-be Slade's that I was used to. He respected me for who I was and accepted my reason for joining the Hive. Those reasons being that I honestly had nowhere else to turn. He honestly cared. So did I.
Finding out the truth about who 'Stone' was, was shocking to say the least. I felt so…(god do I loathe admitting this) stupid. And oh so betrayed. His admission to being a Titan left my heart tattered, twisted, torn. I wondered for days how I could've been so stupid, so blind. I questioned myself for days. Questioned my feelings for him and his for me. Deep inside though I knew that while 'Stone' may have lied about who he was, he'd never lied about how he felt. His feelings were real. They could be trusted.
Then he came. He arrived in a flash, this whirling dervish of energy, of feeling, of questions. He literally ran into my life, into my world. Kid Flash, unlike Cyborg, questions me about why I chose my lifestyle, why I don't change it. He doesn't accept the simple statement that this is how life is. That a life is the Hive is all I have to hope for. He makes me wonder about myself, makes me question my world and my role in it. He (almost) makes me want to be a good guy. A hero.
Both of these men are wonderful in so many different ways. They're kind, sweet, sickeningly friendly and heroic. They deserve better. Instead they got me. Me, a hex-giving sorceress who is, in the eyes of the nosy outside world, playing with both their hearts. But nothing could be further from the truth. My intention was never to hurt them. And besides I'm not that type of girl. I don't take pleasure out of messing peoples hearts, just their heads.
I didn't mean to get involved with the two guys, let alone two superheroes. It just happened. The feelings I have for Victor have been there since that Hive Incident. As have his feelings for me. Neither of us ever tried to deny what we felt. We were content with the relationship we had, however shaky and tentative it may have been. And then, like I said, here came Wally. The feelings that have been growing for him were, like his entry into my life, unplanned. I can't deny that I feel something for him anymore than I can deny my feelings for Victor. And therein lies my problem.
When I'm with Victor I feel…I feel safe. Accepted. Comfortable with myself and with whom I am right now, in this very second. He shelters me, tells me that I don't have to be anyone but me. He shows he cares about me. And don't even get me started on what it's like when he uses the voice. He makes it okay for me to be me. I couldn't ask for someone more accepting, more caring than him.
When I'm with Wally I feel…how can I put this…I feel new. Like I'm just seeing the world for the first time. He shows me a new way of seeing things, of seeing my world. He shows me the world through his rose colored goggles. He makes me want to protect what I see, makes me want to change. He makes me want to be a better person, to be a hero.
Both of them have helped to make me a better person. Both have opened a door in me that was previously closed. Both have helped me find me. Helped me to discover who I am.
I am a candy-eyed, spun sugar haired, bad luck delivering woman. I am a moxie and sass, sweet and sour, type of girl. I'll save the world one minute and beat you up for looking at me funny the next. I'm a broken mirror, a black cat, and spilled salt. I'm a rabbit's foot, a four-leaf clover, and a lucky penny. Good and bad, carving out my niche. Those boys helped me discover this and more about me. They were honest with me about myself. Now I have to go be honest with them.
A/N: Okay so even though i fretted so hard over this dr.evil,who totally got a sneak preview, threatened me, if I didn't post this. Kay,I'll have you know he used you as his weapon of choice. And Calli,I hope you don't mind that I borrowed the voice from you.
