Alright. So, Colorofangels, I'm not exactly sure how old you are, but have you gone to middle school recently? I just graduated. Deal. Yes, people do these sorts of things everyday. It's quite annoying what with people making out in the middle of the walkway. So, I'm not sure what your smokin', but what I say is true, so bugger off.
Year III
Instantly Hooked
Disclaimer: I seem to be 72.3 sure that I don't own Harry Potter to any extent.
Harry lay on his bed at 4, Privet Drive, reading the Daily Prophet. He noticed that, on the front page, there was an escaped criminal named Sirius Black from Azkaban. As he read on, it told that he was after Harry.
He was unconcerned. Harry had been told of numerous people who wanted his head. But… This man escaped from the best-guarded prison, and was now after Harry. He put the newspaper aside, and just started to think about what would happen to Ginny if this Sirius Black succeeded in his attempts to 'take care' of Harry.
Oh well. Let's not think about that now. Harry had to get ready and shiny and all that jazz because his so called 'Aunt' Marge was coming over to play.
Oh, the most joyous of occasions. Marge was extremely nice to Harry. Or maybe not. Her dog was one son of a bitch. Both literally and figuratively.
Harry picked up his special suit. It had a large flower protruding from it. Harry smiled as he remembered Ginny presenting it to him.
"It never wilts or dies. Awesome, eh?"
Yes. Very awesome. Harry didn't know how it was possible to love someone so much. You don't even know.
Anyways, Harry walked downstairs as soon as he heard his Uncle Vernon's car pull up in the driveway. He put his flower in his front pocket, which stuck there until he decided to take it out.
Vernon opened the front door. "Welcome, Marge to our home! Make yourself at it!" He said merrily. Harry wondered if Vernon was drunk or high or something.
Harry trudged up to his 'Aunt' with a large, fake smile plastered on his face. "Hello, Aunt Marge! How's it hangin'?"
"Well, I never! I say, Vernon, DO take care of this peasant!" She exclaimed in a very snotty voice, with just a hint of cheese. And with that, she attempted to pluck the flower from his pocket, yet failing miserably. Convenient, eh? "Bah."
She walked into the living room, where she literally showered Dudley with presents.
"Woot!" He said. Damn AOL users….
Harry rolled his eyes. "Dumb…" He murmured. Vernon shot him a murderous look, seething with hatred.
"Well, how's about we have a go with food, eh Petunia?"
"Oh right, Marge. Let us venture into the dining room." She whisked away. Harry watched amusedly as he had seen a teacher at Hogwarts he didn't know do that.
When Harry had successfully made his way into the dining room, Marge turned and smacked him, POW, right in the face.
"Ah! YOU cant dine with us, rodent! You eat in your room!" She threw him a dog treat.
"Ah. Pup-Eroni. My favorite." Harry said, loathing her.
"Good. I shoul-" She was going to say more, but her finger was inflating! It was strange, because Harry had just been thinking of breaking wizarding law and transfiguring her into a balloon. "Vernon!"
Said Vernon got up and grabbed his sister's ankle, as she was now floating and weighed 406 lbs.
But Marge just kept growing. Eventually, she just, exploded. Brains and guts and vital organs were splattered everywhere. Vernon looked menacingly at Harry. "You murdered my sister! I'll MURDER YOU!" And he tried. But Harry was too quick. He tripped Vernon and ran into his bedroom, grabbed everything remotely important to him, (His trunk was still packed.) and he ran downstairs and out the door. He ran as fast and long as his legs would allow, which just happened to be the train station. He went into Platform 9 ¾, and into the Hogwarts Express. He sat in a clear compartment, after looking into one that had a scruffy looking man with ginger hair.
Harry just needed to sit and think. He'd killed someone. He'd killed his 'aunt.' Shit. He was screwed.
Just then, the compartment door opened. Albus Dumbledore walked in and sat in front of Harry.
"Ah, Harry. Well. All I have to say is that I wouldn't have expected this from you, of all people."
He knew. Double Shit.
"Sir, I can explain. I was provoked! She sla-"
Dumbledore held up a hand. "I understand completely. Neither I nor the Ministry blame you for what happened to Ms. Dursley. But, running away like that, that was very foolish. What with the current circumstances…"
"You mean that Sirius Black guy?"
"Yes. He's very murderous. You MUST be careful, Harry."
"I understand."
"Good. Now I want you to go to the burrow. Merlin only knows that Ms. Weasley has missed you." Albus said with a slight twinkle in his eyes. Harry blushed.
"Oh, right. How do you propose I get there?"
"We will apparate. Grab my arm." Albus instructed. Harry did so. Albus contorted his face with complete concentration, hummed 'Ring around the Rosie' for some reason unbeknownst to me, turned, and after being squeezed, were at the Burrow. Dumbledore bid Harry farewell, and disapparated away.
Harry turned to the Burrow. Ah, how beautiful it was. He ran up to it, and kissed it, with only a bit of tongue. (ROFLMAO!) Sorry. Had to continue making fun of damn AOL users… Anyways, Harry ran up to the door and knocked. Crickets chirping.
Well, it was late, I suppose, as it was ten. So Harry grabbed his Nimbus 2000, and flew up to the window he knew was Ginny's. He knocked nine times. Finally, she opened the window tiredly. Once she saw who it was, though, she was wide-awake and squealing with delight.
"Harry! Hi! Come in!"
"Actually, I was wondering if I could come in via kitchen door. My trunk and everything, you see.."
"Oh, right." She closed the window, and sprinted downstairs. She had the door open before he even landed.
He grabbed his trunk and went inside. Once his hands were free of any item whatsoever, they were filled with a Ginny. His lips were also occupied, surprisingly. Once again, he resisted the urge to carefully pull her nightgown over her head, pull down her underpants, and insert his sexual organ into hers. But, like I said, he resisted. With much difficulty of course. They were quite young, after all. They'd have to wait a few more years for that, I'm afraid. And by a few, I mean one.
"Sorry Harry, but you'll have to spend the night with Ron, I'm afraid. Hermione's here and…"
"That's quite alright. I will see you tomorrow though, so I can last a night."
"Oh, good."
So they ventured upstairs. Ginny peeked into her room and then turned to Harry.
"She's not in there!"
"Is she in the loo?"
"I dunno. I shall check."
She did so, and came back empty handed.
"I have an idea." Harry said, indeed having an idea. He ran all the way upstairs and looked in Ron's room. Sure enough, there Hermione was, sleeping in Ron's arms, who was, surprisingly, not snoring.
Harry ran back downstairs to Ginny. "She is sleeping with Ron."
Ginny grinned. "Guess its just you and me then, eh?"
"Guess so." Harry said, trying to look disappointed, but failing miserably.
They walked, hand in hand, to the bedroom, where they fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next morning, Harry woke up at precisely 7:05 a.m. with an angel in his arms. He smiled at her. She was so cute in the morning. (Yes, I say that a lot.) It was convenient that Harry woke up at that precise time, because that's when Hermione walked in. She looked at Ginny, but to find that not only Ginny was there but Harry, too! Holy Crap!
"Harry!" She squealed. She came and hugged him, thus waking Ginny. Thanks a lot, yo.
"Hermione! Get off my man! How long has this been going on?" Ginny said tiredly yet mockly? Is that a word?
"Morning beautiful. Oh, and hi Ginny." Harry said with a smirk. He continued on with the 'discussion.'
Ginny put on mock hurt. "Ooh. Conflict."
Harry smiled. He loved her so much. You DON'T even know.
"Just kidding, Gin."
Now Hermione was playing hurt. "Oh, so now I'm not beautiful?"
"Course you are. Who said you weren't?" Asked Ron, while yawning and walking into the room. He obviously hadn't known Harry was there, because he was wearing frilly pink bunny slippers.
Harry snickered. "Hullo Ron!"
Ron turned and his eyes widened as he saw Harry. He discreetly discarded of the slippers. "Lo, mate!"
"Wazup?"
"Not much. I see you slept with my sister."
"Right you are, Ken."
"Ken? I'm Ron, remember?"
"Oh, it's a muggle TV show called MXC."
"What's TV?"
"Ask your father. He'd know."
Harry and Ginny went downstairs, hand in hand. "Hey mum." Ginny said.
"Hello dear, I-" Molly spun around. "Harry! Oh, when did you get here? You look unhealthy. You need breakfast. Bacon or Sausage? Hell, have both. And pancakes, and eggs. Scrambled or poached?"
Harry was taken aback. Then he answered. "Ten last night. Bacon, please, and poached. Thank you Mrs. Weasley."
There was much fussing and rubbish such as that.
Later that day, it just so happened to be Diagon Alley day, so they went there. They got new everything. Books, quills, all that crap. On the booklists, it also said 'Parent or guardian sign here for Hogsmeade trips.' x. Since Molly was his guardian, as he was staying at her home, she signed it. Nothing particularly special happened at the alley, except that Hermione was almost mauled by a book that she tried to read, one that Harry already had experience with. The Monster Book of Monsters. They all tied them things up with a large roll of duct tape. Ooh, how I love duct tape. Yum. Oh well, continuing on!
That night, Hermione and Harry inconspicuously exchanged rooms. Nothing really bad happened. No intercourse or anything. Making out occurred, of course. Hermione and Harry exchanged rooms again at 6:00 am in the morning. They only had 3 hours til the train left for Hogwarts. Good thing they'd already packed.
Three hours later, the gang was boarding the train. Many people were staring at Harry with a look of… sorrow? Eh? What the fuck! What's that all about? Oh. Right, Sirius Black. You know, whatever.
Well, anyways, the foursome could only find a compartment that would fit them that already had someone in them. But he was sleeping. Harry looked at Ginny who looked at Ron who looked at Hermione who looked at the dude's luggage.
"Remus Lupin."
How convenient. His name just happened to be written there, as well as visible. Whatever. This Lupin guy didn't budge. So, I guess, Harry sat next to him and Ginny sat in Harry's lap. Ron and Hermione sat across from them, in separate seats. Although they did have intertwined hands.
After 5 hours of talking and laughing, the train came to a sudden stop, everything became black and cold… People remembered terrible things… But this is when Lupin jumped up and ran out the compartment. After a few more minutes of agony, the train came back to normal. Everybody cheered. Everybody except Harry. He passed out unbeknownst to everybody else. Until Ginny turned to kiss him, of course. Then she became beknownst. Again, is this a word?
"Ron! Hermione! Harry!"
Hermione looked at Harry, who was out cold. She jumped up, pulled out her wand, and cast, "Ennervate!"
Well, he woke up. Ginny was so relieved he was okay, you don't even know. In fact, she had almost started doing him on the spot. But this Lupin stopped her by shoving a chocolate frog in his mouth. Harry swallowed it, while Ron stared at him jealously.
--- Explanation of dementors in third book goes exactly as is.---
Once they got to the school, McGonagall ordered Harry and Hermione into her office.
"Potter. Are you alright?"
"Yes. Professor Lupin gave me a chocolate frog. I feel much better now."
"Well, Poppy will be pleased."
"Well, I think that's it for you, so go and get Ms. Granger to come in and then you can walk to the great hall together."
Harry did as he was told, as he was not one to argue with his strictest teacher! No he indeed was not, yo! At all. Not supposed to… I'm rambling. Ever so sorry about that.
When Hermione came out with her shirt's collar a little higher than it was before, Harry got suspicious. Was she wearing a necklace of some sort? Had McGonagall given her a hickey? Unlikely. And, kind of gross. But anyways…
They walked, or in Hermione's case, skipped, back to the great hall. Harry sat, you guessed it, next to Ginny. And Hermione sat on her significant other, AKA Ron.
"You both missed the feast! How could you?" Ginny said in mock angry lingo.
"Well, yeah, yo. I got checked out by McGonagall-"
Ginny interrupted abruptly, "The BITCH! How dare she move in on my man!"
Harry laughed. "Riiiiiiiiighht. So then she talked to Mione about something."
Ron and Ginny looked at their favorite bookworm questionably.
She giggled.
-4 weeks and fifty seven Broom Closets later-
Malfoy walked up to Buckbeak fiercely without any fright. "Your just a great big softy, aint ya? Your such a wuss. Your feathers are all ugly."
Buckbeak had heard Draco insulting his feathers, and… bit his head off. That's the way the cookie crumbles, I'm afraid. Wasn't exactly a lead character either, and didn't matter much.
Hagrid stared in unbelief. "Oh, Shit! Cra', cra', cra'! Buckbeak's gonna get a good ol' thwak thro his neck, bosh gumit!"
Harry quickly erased everyone's memories while Hermione transfigured the body to a tree.
Once class was over, the trio ran up to the dormitory. Harry locked and used all the privacy spells he learned last year.
"Oh Crapdamnit! Hagrid's going to get canned and there's nothing we can do about it!" Ron said quickly.
"Don't you think that we should hold a moment of silence for Draco?" Hermione asked.
"No! Not after he dissed upon Buckbeak and kidnapped my sister, yo!" Ron angrily said.
"Oh, okay, now I understand that point of view." Hermione said.
"Do you think it was right for us to erase everyone's memories? I mean- isn't that a bit irresponsible?" Harry asked.
"Hey, we didn't kill him. It was that bloody pigeon. Anyways, we should probably delete ours, too. We know too much…" Ron said mysteriously.
"Yeah, okay." Harry agreed.
They did so.
"Bah! We have that stupid report on the human reproductive system. I mean, come ON. We don't even take biology." Ron complained.
Hermione looked at him and whispered seductively in his ear.
"Yes! We have that entirely awesome reproductive system project! And we don't even take biology! We're hecka lucky."
Monday was a Hogsmeade trip. Harry had just realized that he'd forgotten to get Transfiguration essay finished. Ginny said something about going to get him a Christmas present anyways, so he'd just stay at the school.
"Mr. Potter, I'm wondering if you've seen Draco Malfoy. He hasn't been in class recently, and you might know something, as you're enemies." Professor McGonagall asked Harry in the hall.
"No Professor." In fact, Harry hadn't seen Malfoy for quite a while. And, frankly, he was happy about it. The less he saw of that fag, the happier he got.
"Yo Harry!" He heard twin voices yelling at him. He turned around and saw Fred and George. "We have decided that it is time for our legacy to be given to you." Fred pulled out a large piece of parchment. "Here you go."
They then ran away.
"What am I supposed to do with it?"
This thing was supposed to be their legacy, so Harry stared at it. And stared at it. Continuously. But he got bored and started singing. By the time when he sang the lyric, 'I solemnly swear I'm up to no good, bitch!' The parchment did something. It made a map. Of… Hogwarts, complete with people. That's flippin' awesome!
"Bitchin'" Harry whispered to himself. He looked over the map. There he was, in the common room. "Damn, I cant show this to anyone, they'll want to steal it!"
So he tried everything that he could to make the map disappear, that would go with the opening line. EVERYTHING. From, 'Trouble Terminated' to 'Scheming Subsided.' And it didn't work. Then he tried 'Mischief Managed.' It worked. He's talented.
Now that he knew how to work it, he started again. "I solemnly Swear that I'm up to no good, bitch." It opened. He scanned it. Gossip is fun. He saw Crabbe and Goyle together, moving back and forth. (Ew.) He quickly put aside that part. Then looked at the grounds. Wait… Draco Malfoy? He was there?
Of course Harry had to check it out. He looked, and seemed right on top of Malfoy, but all he found was a smelly tree. Hmm.
Well, Of course, Harry knew that Malfoy's intellect pretty much amounted to a tree's so, he figured this must be his animagus. Plantimagus? What EVER. Shut up.
A couple weeks later, after completing his stupid dream diary for Divination, he went and made out with Ginny. Again. So we get a treat. A part of the story from Ron and Hermione's pov, aren't you excited? Well, okay. I lied. We're actually heading foreword in time again. Gee, I gave you your cake, but snatched it away, didn't I? I was just wasting time.
"Wake up, Harry! Merry Christmas!" Harry heard his girlfriend yelling. Then she 'ppthed' in his ear.
"Bloody hell, woman! Why would you do such a horrid thing?"
"Because its freaking Christmas, yo."
"YEAH!"
He ripped open a couple presents. Ginny had gotten him a box of condoms (with a note that said, 'later!') and a new golden snitch, for practicing. Ron had gotten him a watch. Hermione gave him a DADA book. Mrs. Weasley gave him the same old, same old. The Dursleys sent a rock.
Harry and Ginny sat all day watching the fire flicker, occasionally getting up to eat or use the bathroom. They couldn't stop holding each other, though…
Soon after the holidays, in the middle of the night, Harry jerked awake to a loud ass hollering. It was coming from Ron's bed, soon after, there was a sound of glass breaking, and the window was broken. Ron's eyes were wide and his face white as marble.
"I- I saw… him." He stuttered.
"Which him? There are a lot of guys in Hogwarts." Harry said reasonably.
"N-no.. It was.. Sirius Black!"
"Ooh, Im so scared, Ron, seriously, lets go back to sleep."
"You m-m-m-moron! Nooo. He was there… Then jumped out the window…"
Ron's story was instantly all over the school, even by Hogwarts standards. It was crazy. And of course, everyone thought Black was after Harry.
"You know, I sort of feel like finding this Sirius guy just to shut him up, I mean, I don't even know why he's after me." Harry told Ginny at lunch two days after the incident.
Professor McGonagall was walking behind Harry as he said this and asked him to follow her. Ginny, of course, followed. Ron and Hermione were, um, to 'preoccupied' to notice they had gone.
They followed her to her office, and sat down.
"Potter…I guess I should tell you exactly why Black is after you. He was a Death Eater… A Death Easter is someone who was one of You-Know-Who's followers. Black was one of the biggest. Not only does he want to kill you to exact revenge for his master's downfall… But, you see, Potter, Black was your father's best friend, and was secret keeper to your home. It was under the Fidelius charm, which hides a location unless the place's secret keeper, In your case, Sirius Black, tells another how to get there."
"So he gave Voldemort the address, did he?" Harry said furiously.
"Oui. And that is why he wants to kill you.." Professor McGonagall finished, somewhat lamely.
"Mother FUCKER!" Harry screamed.
Ginny looked at Harry like he was in deep, deep, shit. McGonagall, however, seemed nonplussed at this outburst.
"Potter, you must promise me this: Do not go looking for Black. He is extremely dangerous."
"Ppth, screw you. Im going to get him. NOW."
And he did so. He marched, half jogging, out onto the grounds.
"BLACK! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! NOW SHOW YOURSELF, YOU BLOODY CHICKEN!" The only thing that happened was a big black dog looked at Harry sadly.
Harry ran around the grounds, and eventually tripped over the dog.
"Stupid mutt…" He 'mutt'ered. - Hahaha…
The dog began to change.. It was growing. The fur was going back into its skin, and the face quickly began to become pink. The eyes became sallow, as if they were extremely deprived of sunlight. And, Harry was lying on top of Sirius Black.
He whipped his wand out, and Ginny, who had gone and 'fetched' (haha, sorry, more humor) Ron and Hermione, screamed, "No Harry, no!"
Black opened his mouth, "Harry… You've got it all wrong. It wasn't I…Not… me…Accio!" He had grabbed Harry's wand and pointed it at Ron. Scabbers the rat came flying out, having a real fit. Black rolled out from under Harry and said something under his breath. Just as Black had done, Scabbers began to change… He became fatter, balder, and slightly taller.
"This, is the real culprit, Harry."
Harry stared at the man. He seemed vaguely familiar…
"PETER PETTIGREW."
"Say what? I know for a fact that this guy is dead, you killed him!" Harry yelled at Black. "All that was left of him was a-"
"Finger! And look! He's missing one. I talked Lils and James out of making me the secret keeper, so yes in a way, it was I…"
"SIRIUS!" Professor Lupin had come running out onto the grounds and hugged Black.
"Remus, my good buddy."
"Oh… I guess. I understand.. Kill him!" Harry screamed.
Pettigrew, who was on the ground begging, turned back into a rat and ran off.
"No! Accio! ACCIO!" Sirius screamed. But it was too late. Pettigrew was already off the grounds and disapparated.
"So, Harry, Im your godfather."
"Oh, really? Can I come and live with you?"
"Well, Im still on the run, you see, so no. But you can come and live at my parents house in your fifth year."
Harry looked at him funnily.
Okay, so that was ch 3. A little lame ending… So what? Don't matter. Go deal with it. I wouldn't mind review, you know…?