a/n: This is the first one, so read and get it over with :P
This is my first fan fiction in a loooooooooong time. I mean long. Like a year or so, and it wasn't even on this site. I love Instant Star and I was thinking about doing a FF when I heard this song my boyfriend's band did, and I got completely inspired. So be looking forward to the song, as well as a few others I've written. But I hope this isn't too bad, considering I'm probably a little rusty.
Anyways, this first chapter is basically a fill in to what Jude's life has been like up to this point, so it's not the best. Please, please, please R&R. But most of all enjoy :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star, or any of the characters, but this story is MINE.
November 14, 2007
Today everything I thought I had buried resurfaced. Mom asked me to clean out some boxes in the attic because she was moving out; I didn't know what was in it. Going through all my old stuff, clothes, awards, it made me think. Then I found that picture album, the one thing that I had stuffed away in hopes to stop everything I hated about the one guy that I couldn't get over. Almost a year and a half ago he left, and now I can't help but wish he hadn't. It was his gift to me, the album that is, the day he flew away to America for a better life. I just wish the better life included me in it.
I know I already wrote about it, and I know I could just look back to the page where I wrote it all in. But the only way I can talk about it now is through my music and in here. I'm sick of writing songs about him, he's enveloped my life and he's not even in it anymore. Even with Jamie and Leo, he was always on my mind.
I guess it goes back to my 17th birthday, only a few weeks before he told me he would be going away for a long time, and I might not ever see him again. Of course he screwed things up again, and he totally kissed me on my birthday. It's like a ritual for him, and things escalated a little bit more on my 17th than on my 16th. I guess he considered 17 a little bit less of a setback than 16? But that's not the point. The point is, he didn't even talk to me about it. It was just, "Jude, I have to tell you something. I'm leaving. For good. I'm sorry I hurt you." God, I was so sick of it, I didn't even think about what he said until it was too late. By the time I got over the fact that he played with me again, he was gone. He promised that I could call or email, and he would respond ASAP. But my inspiration, my rock, my best friend was gone. Yeah, Jamie promised that he would always be there for me, but he got so wrapped up in Patsy and Kat that I knew he wouldn't be jumping at the best friend position so quickly. Sadie was gone to college too, and Kat and I haven't talked with civility since the day of my movie premiere practically two years ago. I was completely lost. I was left at rock bottom, nothing. Not even my parents were there. Mom was getting married to Steven; Dad was getting married to Yvette. All I had was my music, and Darius was threatening to take even that away from me.
Now I sit here, 18 years old, and all those feelings are back again. I live in the same pathetic apartment because I know how fast my money earned can be tossed away. I have to say, my record sales are doing great, and I've saved up quite a bit of money. I'm maturing, I'm older, and my songs are better. I couldn't lie by saying that he didn't still inspire me, but I'd like to move on with my life. My third album was a much greater hit, and I guess that's an "up-yours" to him. I was inspired by Leo, by my family, by my loneliness in general, once Leo broke up with me. It's been almost two months since then, and now my fourth album is officially getting started. I don't know what I'll do to get inspired but it better be quick. The press is getting bored of me and Darius is pressing some sort of publicity-
The phone suddenly rang, interrupting Jude Harrison's feverish writing. Grabbing the phone next to her bed, Jude didn't recognize the number on the caller ID.
"Hello?" She asked apathetically.
"Jude, how are you?"
She nearly dropped the phone in surprise. Jude recognized that voice, the one that belonged to the man she had just been raving over in her journal.