a/n: I'm so glad you guys like it so far! But I forgot about some things just for background info.
Jude is blonde still, and everything that happened after "I Fought The Law" never happened in this fiction. Sadie and Tommy broke up about a month before Tommy left because of their lives not meshing. Basically, Sadie was away at college and Tommy was at work, not to mention that all the same envies of Jude and Tommy's relationship were still there, and Tommy accused Sadie of cheating on him at frat parties. Generally it was a rather bitter breakup, and they didn't talk over the time he was gone. This will come into play later, so I hope you read this:)
Also, I realize that in the new season they changed the studios from letters to numbers, but for personal purposes (I get confused very easily :P) I'm going to stick with letters. And this is the longest chapter I've written yet!
Oh, and I wrote Sweet Surrender. I just forgot to mention it. Copyright, copyright, etc, etc.
Anyways, here's chapter 5.
Jude opened the door to Studio A cautiously. She didn't know whether facing Kwest would be like facing Tommy or not, but she hoped not. She hoped Kwest wouldn't pretend that nothing happened and slowly wait for weeks until things between the two were no longer awkward.
Kwest had his headphones on and was toying with the soundboard, assumingly mixing Sweet Surrender. Jude didn't want to disturb him; she had to think of what she was going to say, and all the things he might say, so she just sat in the wingman's chair and waited for him to finish.
It was about ten minutes later that Kwest finally noticed Jude's presence. He had been concentrating so hard on the music, not letting his mind wonder to the early morning events.
When Kwest caught a glimpse of glowing white skin, he turned off the mixer and turned to face his visitor.
"Hey." He said simply, trying not to give off any emotion.
"Hey…" Jude looked at his face, trying for a read. "So…"
"Look," Kwest sighed, "I'm not going to be like Tommy, I'm not going to ignore everything and tell you to forget what happened."
Jude nodded, and she found herself not knowing what to say. Being honest she would have said something like 'Kwest, I like you. You help me feel better, and you're a great person to go to for advice. But Tommy's coming back, and I just don't know if I want to have a boyfriend right now, or even casually date, because it might discourage any chances I have with Tommy right off the bat. Now I'm 18 and I'm legal, and I hope it will make a difference.'
Yeah, that would have been the most honest thing. But she didn't want to reveal her wild hopes to Kwest, because she knew he would run straight to Tommy and tell him.
"I know." She muttered quietly, grabbing an empty cup of coffee and eyeing it as if it actually posed some interest to her. "I need some coffee, want a refill?"
Kwest chuckled, taking the cup for Jude and handing her a slightly newer cup with G Major's logo plastered on it in bright block letters. "Sure, but I would prefer to use my own cup."
Jude simply shrugged as a light pink tinge arose to her cheeks. She glanced once more at the mystery mug and walked stoically into the kitchenette.
After setting the mug down, Jude buried her head in her hands and groaned. She hated talking. As much as she nags at people for ignoring things, confrontation wasn't easy. Especially when you're talking about inappropriate kisses in empty apartments.
Hey, I think I'll use that one for a song. Jude got up and dug around for a mug, a napkin, and a pen, scribbling on it "inappropriate kisses in empty apartments." She pocketed the napkin and poured herself and Kwest full cups of G Major's fancy shmancy coffee brand. Before Darius had taken over G Major simply used Folgers.
It was another few minutes and a couple sips of coffee before Jude stealthily walked back into Studio A. She hoped that Kwest would be working on a song when she got there. Just her luck, he was waiting for her to get back for some more talking that she simply dreaded.
Sitting down next to Kwest, She nodded and gave him his coffee.
"So what do you think?" Jude was surprised at Kwest's casualty of the question. She knew what he was talking about, and what he was asking, but the melancholy of it slightly offended her.
"I'm not really…" Jude sat puzzled for a moment, trying not to go to in depth into the situation. "I'm not really in a good time for anything like a boyfriend." Which was a lie, because Jude was just waiting for that one boyfriend.
Kwest nodded. He had figured that it would be like this. A month ago, heck, even a week ago, he knew Jude would have been ok with it. But this was all for Tommy's return. "Yeah, that's cool." He nodded again, not knowing what else to do.
"But, we're not going to be all awkward and stupid, right?" Jude bit her lip. That was the last thing she needed right now, even farther from a boyfriend. Because once Tommy came back, she knew Kwest would be needed. Severely.
"Right… Well, I don't know about you on the stupid part." He said jokingly, wincing as Jude scoffed and smacked him.
She shook her head and stood up. "You should be one to talk about the stupid part."
Kwest raised his eyebrows. "Well, I'm not the one that needs to re-record both the chords and the lyrics of Sweet Surrender."
Jude shrugged and gave up as she walked into the sound booth. She picked up her guitar and waited for Kwest's direction.
"Lyrics first." He mouthed through the glass wall. It was so much work turning on the receiver and talking into the microphone.
Jude nodded, getting better and lip language as her years at G Major went on.
"I will not bend
And I will not break,
It's amazing all the hope you take."
Jude remembered how she had hoped that Tommy would give into his feelings at her sixteenth birthday party after overhearing his conversation with Kwest.
-
"But if she was twenty-one?" Kwest asked him.
"In a split second." Tommy returned, without even thinking.
-
She was so innocent, so unaware.
And then BAM, Shay broke her heart; all she needed was a little glue. Tommy tried to provide that, giving her hope for the men in her life yet, but he smoldered it immediately and broke her into even tinier pieces.
"I won't crash now.
I won't give in to you"
Her dad had betrayed her too. He cheated on her mom, and split their family apart.
But Jude would not let either get the best of her. She only used the emotions riled up to write magnificent songs for her first album.
"You seem to expect that I'm still tender.
But not this time,
I won't surrender.
These battles are pointless,
These words are cruel,
And there's only one thing I can do."
It was only in due time that Tommy and Sadie started going out. Jude didn't know what to do; she cared about Tommy so much and Sadie got another trophy to rub in her face. Tommy didn't seem to care much either.
Pushing past this, Jude got other boyfriends, but they didn't last long. Each new one provided a new rush of jealously, a false hope in Jude, and another fatal kiss on Jude's seventeenth birthday party.
She finally wanted to get rid of him after that, but she didn't know that her ideas would become a reality so soon.
"All this hunger
You gave it to me.
And all the lies that I believed.
They add up now,
But you can't expect this ender to be
My sweet surrender."
Tommy and Sadie broke up soon after the seventeenth birthday incident, though it was not because of the incident itself. They just were not a good couple, and everything about one's personality grated the other's.
Kat and Jamie barely spoke to Jude, and she didn't really care for their attention. She avoided her parents at all costs, for her dad was marrying his mistress, and her mom was marrying her divorce lawyer. Talk about screwed up.
Soon enough Tommy and Jude grew closer and Jude could tell that he was going to ruin it again by making a stupid move. She just didn't know how permanent the move would really be, and that was literally making a move.
He approached her with such sorrow that she thought someone had died. The conversation that followed was so clearly scripted in her mind.
"I'd like to pretend that I didn't care.
I wish you didn't see the deceit in my stare.
"This time its different."
I've heard it before.
This is my closure,
I'm shutting the door."
-
"Jude… I…" Sighs. "I…"
"What's wrong, Tommy?" Jude was sincerely worried.
"I'm… Leaving. I'm moving." He looked like he was about to cry. "I'm sorry, I just had to make this choice for my career. I'm just… Sorry." He held his face.
Jude looked almost disgusted, like he had just thrown up all over her boots, and barely croaked, "Yeah, me too."
-
That was it, the last live conversation between the two.
Jude felt a surge of anger as she sang her song into the microphone. Tommy wasn't even back yet, and she was already writing moody teenage songs about him. Kwest seemed to noticed and stopped the first recording that blasted through Jude's headphones.
"What?" She snapped.
"You're practically screaming, mellow it down. This song's chords make it a sharp edgy tune, not a death metal ballad." Kwest shook his head and rewound the tape. They had to record again. "Lets try it with a little less hardcore, a little more singing."
Jude rolled her eyes. It took her four more takes until the song sounded just right. The chords didn't take as long: about three takes total.
It was around four when Jude's part of the song was finished, so she left Kwest to start mixing it. He didn't oppose.
I'm really exhausted and I want some time to brace myself for tomorrow. I wonder if Darius will let me off early tonight… Jude thought as she leaned on the wall outside of Studio A. She knew the chances were slim, but it was worth a try. The last time Jude just skipped out of the studio without asking him, Darius screamed at her for hours, claiming she wasted hours of studio time and a lot of the record companies money like this. So now
She noticed Darius was growing a little softer, and she thought it was because of a new girlfriend. He had all the symptoms: particularly standoffish towards attractive women (trying not to tempt himself), increased smiling, and many private phone calls.
"Darius?" Jude knocked on the half-opened door to his office and peered in. He was on the phone.
"Hold on one second." Darius spoke into the receiver and then turned to Jude. "Yes?" He said rather snappily, as if she had interrupted something important.
"I was wondering if I could get the rest of the night off." Jude drawled, slurring her words slightly as if to make them less distinguishable so Darius might just say yes to make her go away.
"E.J. wants you find her in the closet first." He waved his hand, motioning for Jude to leave. Calling the dressing closet was funny, because it was bigger than two of the studios combined.
Jude found her way to the closet, walking past the barred off hall that would soon be opened as the new half of G Major, and started to search for E.J. A loud squealing noise and a flutter of dresses directed Jude directly to E.J.
"Hey, you wanted to see me?" Jude asked nonchalantly.
E.J. turned and nodded furiously. "Since the welcoming party is tomorrow night, formal, and the press is invited," Jude groaned at the mention of the press, "I have a ton of dresses for you to try on!" E.J. was naturally excited. Jude, on the other hand, had grown tired of all the trying on she had to do for the job.
After a glance at the dresses that E.J. held out, Jude felt suddenly turned around. They all looked very sultry and sexy, and it was perfect for impressing a certain someone.
E.J. lead Jude to a small curtained area for her to slip in and out of dresses. An hour had passed and she had tried on nearly every dress in the room that fit her. She couldn't really decide. Her favorites so far were a silky purple tea-length dress in sheath style that made Jude look as voluptuous as a Victoria's Secret model, a royal blue gown that had a sweetheart neckline and empire cut, and dazzling little black dress that accentuated Jude's maturing feminine features and was the shortest of the three.
"I can't decide. Depends on what you want." E.J. said bluntly. She loved all three.
"I want sexy. I want to look like an adult. I mean, I'm turning 19 soon enough and I should look like it. Right?" Jude was confident at first, but then again, she always seemed to appear as a little girl to the press. How would the tabloids take it? She thought doubtfully.
"Ah, I think the black one will do that for you then." E.J. recognized the hesitant look she gave. "Jude, you're a woman. Show everybody." She smiled and handed Jude the dress and then started to put all the rejects back onto the racks.
"You're getting off work early tomorrow, about two. I'll find you, but you're getting your aesthetics done for the party." Jude heard E.J. call out to hear as she walked out of the room and headed out of G Major.
The trip home was quiet; Jude decided not to listen to the radio, but rather to think. What am I going to do when I see Tommy tomorrow? She repeatedly asked herself.
That night she took a shower, and went to bed straight away. She didn't feel like song writing, searching the tabloids for crazy rumors, or watching the news; it was all insignificant to what was coming up the next day.