CHAPTER 11 "Morality"

June 10, 1944 (D-Day plus 4); Douve River Crossing, Outside Carentan, Normandy; France

1930 Hours; Evening

06/10/44

8th entry

The 506th and 501st made quite a show last night. The capture of Ste. Come-du-Mont had finally completed one of our objects in D-Day; which was to capture the Douve River. The guys from Able are cooped up here in the Douve Crossing; designated as Bridge #2. I heard that this bridge was demolished earlier by the krauts. But our engineers have already worked it up. Right now Command has begun to make preparations for our sweep further south; especially the town of Carentan. Taking it will enable the Allies to unite both Utah and Omaha Beachheads; both the VII and the V Corps.

Once we receive our orders tomorrow, I am dead sure that Able Company will bring up the front. Captain Collins said that the defenders of Carentan are quite formidable; the so-called elite 6th Fallschirmjager Regiment is stationed there he says. The paratroopers we fought on Foucarville were part of this unit.

Surely there will be a fight ahead. I just hope it wouldn't make me kill another boy again…

"Thanks man."

O'Shea handed me a cup of cider.

"Sorry, I couldn't find any Scotch, Robert. 'Exclusive only for the Brass' they said."

"I don't care…" I muttered.

"Just thinking. Is that really your favourite?"

"Yeah. First time's always the most memorable…"

The truth is there isn't any whisky to drink. Anything like that was denied for us. We are in the middle of a top priority military operation, says Captain Collins. No joy for the paratroops for now. Too many comforts given to us would make us feel a bit laid back; lose our focus for the task at hand.

I saw a bunch of our comrades moving out earlier this day. During the afternoon. We all knew what our next objective is. Carentan. Dog, Baker and Easy were all sent there already. Able Company was put on reserve because of the slight shortage of men that we have. However, it is a lucky break for us. Word is that we would be catching up later; when the time called it.

The distant firing and explosions were heard from afar. The guns from the 65th Artillery were waking us up. They were just a few kilometres away from our positions; bringing up supporting fire for the attack on Carentan. Their roars kept us from falling asleep; their flashes lighting up the night. But it didn't hinder us. We simply didn't care. Even though the battle was underway.

I took a sip. Funny. The cider was no different. Non-alcoholic. I grinned; the taste of apple-water trickling in my lips was a different one from that I'm used to. Reminded me of home...

Again.

I shook my head. I shouldn't be musing over the life I left behind for a few years. The life when I was naïve and young and ambitious. Hmm. Young… The grim memory of myself killing that young German guy, pointing his gun at me…

It was still damn fresh in my head.

I remembered during that day, yesterday after our patrol at dusk, Rosenbaum was ordered to search the kid for anything worth of Intelligence. I was beside him; I was looking for a bad dream back then. Turned out that the guy's name was Erich Neumann. Used to be a member of the Hitler Youth, Dieter said according to his identification tag. Born May 12, 1928…

Now he's dead, June 9, 1944.

I felt sick. Guilty. I wanted to think that it was not my fault. No such thing as murder when you're fighting in a war. But I couldn't. It was a cold-blooded kill; no matter how one would look at it. I never thought that this war would make me kill a 16-year old. Face-to-face. Truly unexpected. Like when Gretchen knew I was joining up. The thought made me think again about her.

This was perhaps that thing that she wanted me to avoid: the life of killing. But being a soldier is an honour; a call not many would take. Yet the world is full of consequences; a life of honour like this had it attached a life of bloodshed. Nobody wants this. Yet I know 176,000 others who still chose this kind of life. A life where code of ethics is just bullshit. No such thing as morality.

And do we gain something in return?

Nothing. As far as I'm concerned. Only a broken limb, a few scars, a few bad memories and some dead friends.

Clyde and Wesson were the ones who gained even more aside from that.

Gretchen was right. I should have been different. Then, I could be a manager in that bank of hers. Make sure it doesn't go up in flames. Have a few kids. Be a senator. Have a good life. I began to wonder if I'm would even make it home.

Funny.

I just realized that I was the only one acting like this.

"You're gonna eat that?" O'Shea asked.

"What?" I turned to him.

"Those pork and beans. You don't like them?"

"Wha…yeah…yeah. Later. I'm just thinking."

"Heh. For the first time, you began to think A LOT!" He joked.

"…"

It was a cold night. Echoes of distant firing whisper in our ears. I looked up; the night was awfully familiar like the one I had to live through during that faithful dawn of June 6. For the first time, I appreciated the beauty of the moon and stars sprinkled throughout the dark sky. Only because there were no anti-aircraft guns firing up into the heavens; quite like that compared to my previous memory of it.

McCarran came to us by the campfire we laid. I haven't finished my dinner yet.

"David, Robert. The Captain has something important to say to the 1st Platoon. Get your butts moving."

New orders?

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Right over there, by that house. Come on."

We stood up and went to the place. A bunch of Airborne guys were flocking towards the oil lamp lit shack of the small house. Captain Collins is there, together with Lieutenant Alderman. He was holding a map. But why just us? Sergeant Donnelly was nowhere in sight.

I suppose he is going to give us new orders. Orders for tomorrow. Or maybe tonight.

We were only a handful of men. I say about 12 guys. The rest of the 1st Platoon got either killed, captured or missing during and after the drops on D-Day. No replacements yet. What a tight spot, isn't it?

Me, O'Shea and McCarran were the last to file in with the others.

"OK. I guess everyone is here." The Captain spoke. "I better make this quick; your Sergeant Donnelly got in an accident during our operations in Ste. Come-du-Mont yesterday so I'll be briefing you ladies myself."

He began to lay out a map; a diagramming of our current situation. We all looked down; lines, arrows and circles were written all over it.

"This is our present condition gentlemen…"

"Great…" I whispered.

"As we speak; our buddies from the 401st and 327th Glider Companies have began to move in towards Carentan; tasked to flank the town from the left. The other companies from the 506th and 502nd were already there, though, and are taking quite a beating. Even though we were put on reserve I received word that Able Company should begin to move out; which means your goddamn good time is over."

"We saw that coming…" one remarked.

"At least it's better than sitting on your ass all day…"

The Captain turned to the map again.

"We will be taking the route the others took earlier today. But this time, we were tasked to support H Company of the 502nd. Apparently those German bastards had begun to open fire with Flak 88s at them."

He pointed specifically at a small circle; indicating the position.

"H Company holds the line that keeps the 506th and 502nd together. If they were routed; that line could fall and the Germans could use this as an opportunity for a counter-attack; eventually breaking our drive to Carentan considerably."

"We will be moving immediately, gentlemen." Lieutenant Alderman said to us, "We have to get past Bridge #3 at approximately 2030 Hours and then meet up with the guys from 3rd Battalion of the 502nd; right in the position of H Company."

I've heard of this unit before. 3/502nd was led by one Lieutenant Colonel Robert G. Cole.

"1st Platoon's job is to make sure they reach H Company in time. Contact their commanding officer, Captain Shettle, and tell them to move up behind the rear up here in Douve River Crossing and reinforce their positions. Since your Sarge is out; Captain Collins will be leading 1st Platoon. 2nd Platoon with me will bring up our rear."

Sounds like a one-hour trek. I should have seen this coming.

Captain Collins spoke again, "We will be encountering hostiles. Maybe not on the way, but surely once we reach H Company. Check and test your magazines; zero your sights. When they come, make sure you guys are ready."

"Yes sir!"

"Well, what the hell you ladies looking at? Move out! Hustle! Hustle!"

We scattered; tending to our things as we begin to pack everything up. My gear was stashed together with David's; by the campfire where we were eating our dinner. I wasn't able to finish it. But I hated it anyway. No lessons learned, though. I began to wonder when this prepping-up-for-a-fight-before-we-sleep routine will end.

I guess the answer is 'someday but not today'.

I noticed that my clicker has gone missing. I checked my waist pouches; nothing's there.

"Shit! I think I lost my clicker, Hugh!" I called to him.

I was a bit worried. If for any reason I got lost, I have nothing to call my comrades for help. Aside from screaming.

"Don't worry, Robert. Just stick to David and me. You'll be fine by then." He cocked his rifle.

O'Shea came to us. He brought with himself a few packs of rifle cartridges.

"Load up your clips, guys. I think we we'll be in one hell of a long vigil after tonight."

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"Carentan is one tough nut to crack; as I heard. I bet 20 bucks that we will be fighting until tomorrow."

"Just make sure you make it until tomorrow." McCarran laughed.

"Hey! Do you even have 20 bucks with you?" I grinned.

We were all set. With the Captain's wave of the hand, we all got a move on. Boxes and crates were left behind. Oil lamps turned off. The chance to turn back and walk away has gone.

I sighed. I wanted to erase in my head all of my worries and guilt. The Company needs me to be in one piece. I asked myself to snap out of it. You have to do what you have to do. No questions asked. No emotions. War is only kill-or-be-killed. That is its only morality. If I die; I'd wish that Neumann guy would be waiting for me…

Jesus! What am I thinking…?

I have yet to see the end of this war, anyway.

I dashed with the others into the battlefield glowing just by the horizon. Our work was far from over.

-TO BE CONTINUED-